New, but need help

Toni - posted on 02/23/2011

I have Chronic pain and I am limited in my activity...it is hard to be the mother I use to be, but I have found ways to mother my one of four children that is still at home. I do things like reading, movies, arts and crafts, cooking...things that don't take a lot of physical strength or activity. It is hard for my very active 8 year old boy to understand but after years of this, I have learned that I can not feel guilty for this, it is not by my choice, it just is what it is!! I work with my other older children to spend time with their younger brother to get his much needed rough housing and busy activities. They have been very good about it, so for you I would suggest that you do what you can and what you can't do, find someone from your church that will help you with this. there are many people in the churches today that are looking for ways to volunteer and this would be a great way for a young teenage or young adult to help someone in need!!
Another thing you need to do that I find is very helpful is to find a support group of women that have the same or similar condition...mine is strictly over the internet as my condition is not very common and there aren't many in my area. they have had conventions and get togethers for these women but I haven't been able to travel to them as my health prevents it, but the support over the internet really helps. I highly suggest you do this..I have been able to find many that are Christian and can depend on their prayers and love and support!! Some are not Christian but can overlook their harshness and move on!!
I wish you the best of luck in your journey!! God bless!

Khanyi - posted on 02/15/2011

Charleen

Firstly you should know that he is your comforter, we draw our strenght from him. I am so sorry about your condition and what you going through. You should regard yourself lucky that the Almighty gave you another chance, you slacked a little but that ok, we are only human. Use this chance that he has givin you. Listen Jesus healed the lady who bled for years, He can do the same for you too. In Mark he speaks about doupt, if you doupt him that means you dont blive in the wonders ha can do for your life.

He will do it wonders for you too. Just trust in him. Pray, start fasting, read the word. Pray for your family. We will surely pray for you too.

God Bless
K.P

Heather - posted on 02/13/2011

Charlee go to you tube and type in mom with no arms - perhaps you will find encouragement in that. Often as Christians we are placed in circumstances that would have us rely on God more fully. Know that all things are possible through Him and that when you give it your all and trust Him to do the rest you Will be able to be the mother and wife He has called you to be! God bless you! Heather

Carla - posted on 02/12/2011

@Cyndel--I like your comment, Christianity is Jesus-centered. So many people say 'I believe in God--therefore I am a Christian.' All the religions of the world believe in a 'god', but only ours believes in Jesus. Jesus' blood is what saves us, and living a Christ-centered live is what keeps us.

Thanks for sharing that.

Cyndel - posted on 02/11/2011

I love listening to sermons.
I have been a Christian my whole life, never strayed but didn't really begin to seek God and read my bible until after I married. I didn't understand doctrine or much else, I knew bible stories and I knew what I was supposed to believe but I didn't have my own beliefs that I had sought God over.
I started listening to Pastor Mark Driscoll's sermons, you can down load his sermon series via iTunes or a few other ways for free.
www.marshillchurch.org
on the home page is an option Sermons & Music, click it,
on the right of the page their is a list of the sermon series, I would suggest listening to Doctrine first. It is the series that anyone who wishes to become members of Mars Hill has to listen too. Pastor Mark is really good at explaining the basics like the Trinity, sin, repentance, salvation, etc. It is a great place to start!
Also find a good church that is grounded in the bible, and talks about Jesus all the time. Christianity is Jesus centered, not just God centered! You need Christian fellowship and guidance! Well not just you, we all do!
I hope this helps!

Maggie - posted on 02/09/2011

Dear Charlee,
I'm glad you shared your hearth with us. Just know that you are in our prayers. You are dearly loved and may the peace that passes all understanding fill your heart and mind! Stay strong in the Lord!

Cara - posted on 02/09/2011

My mother has also dealt with a lifetime of pain. From about the time that I was 6, she has had MultiRegional Myalgia with Myofacial pain. It took 27 years for her to finally have a diagnosis. She is in contant pain, some days being better than others. I can tell you that it has made me extremely sensitive to other's needs. My mom made sure to do more things on her good days and did the best she could on the bad ones. She sat through many a swim meet on hard bleachers even though she could hardly stand it. She NEVER complained. Many times I never realized how bad she was. She pushed herself so far when we all went to Disney this year, she ended up with a migraine. Her disablity has made her even more loving and attentive than most parents these days who are too focused on themselves. For her, she just tries to remember to be thankful for what she can do rather than focus on what she can not. She is alive to teach us about God and living a righteous life. She is alive to see and spend time with her grandchildren. My father took on a lot of responsibilites that most would not need to and we ate a lot of tv dinners growing up. My brother and I were no worse for the wear. She made it all work the best she could and I love her and appreciate her so much more because of it. We also learned to appreciate the little things in life.

Bobbie - posted on 02/09/2011

Charlee, we need one another. We are to lift up one another as members of the body of Christ...for when one suffers all suffer. Just as you have been "lifted up," blessed and encouaged, remember to do the same for others when they are in desperate need of hope and encouragement. Simply put...."pass it on."

Victoria - posted on 02/09/2011

Charlee, first off I will keep you in prayer. Don't think for once you have to live with this condition for the rest of you life, Jesus is still in the healing business & although sometimes we have to persevere through circumstances, in James 1 it say once perseverance has finished it's work you will receive your crown of glory, now everyone's crown is different, for some people healing for other financial break through etc... but it also says in that passage that we must have faith and no doubt. So firstly healing is there for you condition.

As for reading you Bible I honestly believe the best thing to do is start in Genesis & get reading, start with 1 or 2 chapters a day & believe that God will reveal himself to you through His word, start listening closely to what he says as you read it, as he likens something in scripture to your life or something you know about. God will pour out if you ask him. Pray before you read & after thanking God for his word & his enlightenment of it to you. I recommend an NIV Bible as it easier to read & understand than some versions and it transferred into English from the original Greek, Hebrew an Aramaic scrolls.

Bobbie - posted on 02/08/2011

Charlee, I don't have any of the problems that you are experiencing, but my heart goes out to you. Just wanted to say that I am so happy to learn that you are a Christian and that you are once again walking with the Lord. I commend you on this mature & wise decision. And, I encourage you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Remain in His Word. Claim His promises for yourself. Develope a daily quiet time with Him. Share all your issues (all legimate) with Him. Stay positve in the battle. Pray and put on the full armor of God everyday, surround yourself with strong believers, count your blessings naming them one by one, and be sure to reach out to others who are worse off than you, and remember that NOTHING is impossible to God. Look up Eph. 3:20 in the Ampflied Bible. :) Hope my counsel is helpful. Blessings to you.

Alisha - posted on 02/07/2011

A great book Come Walk with Me by Carole Mayhall, she goes over techniques for studying the Bible which are very practical and eye opening. Perhaps your church or something has a women's Bible study you can bring your kids to and if not ask your pastor if he knows of anyone who would be willing to do a study with you.

Charlee - posted on 02/07/2011

You all have been so wonderful to me this week. It has been great to have all this support from you guys. It really has helped me get through this week. I was not moving around so well, but the kids did help out and my husband has been great. I am thankful for all of you and your words of support and prayer.

Anne - posted on 02/07/2011

Charlee I am not real sure how similar my circumstances are to yours but I too have long term health issues. Our daughters were older than what I think your children are. Our oldest was about 13 and our youngest was about 8 when my issues started. I have had both of my hips replaced due to lack of cartilage, I have 2 or 3 ruptured disks in my back and have had one shoulder resurfaced. I know I will need the other shoulder resurfaced and both knees replaced.

I totally agree that NON of these issues cause me to be a "Second Class Christian".

I also am the daughter of a mom that had Multiple Sclerosis. However in the 1960's and 1970's if a women was past the child bearing age and she was "sick" with "odd" symptoms, she was most often considered "Crazy" so mom spent 3 months in a private mental hospital when I was 8, and 6 months in a state run mental hospital when I was 13.

What I remember most about the years growing up with a mom that was ill is this--- She did the best she could do. Some days were better than others and on those days she cooked dinner and helped my older sister and I clean the house and she spent time teaching me things that she could do sitting down. Her greatest accomplishment was to teach us how to accept and live with limitations with grace. Yes she had her bad days when things were far from perfect, but we survived. I think I am a stronger adult women because of this.

Our daughters learned to cook and clean younger than some of their friends. Our oldest daughter took these lessons to heart and went to college to become a Chef. Our youngest although she did not enjoy cooking until she was away at college has developed into a very good cook in her own right. Both daughters know how to keep a clean house and still be able to enjoy life.

For my mom it was Prayer that got her through the bad days. For me it has been Bible study , Prayer, and as of late this Community. I know that God will not allow anything to enter my life that He can not use for my good.

On your Good days take the time to pay or read, or do a puzzle or play board games with your children. Yes the house has to be clean enough so you do not get sick and your family has to eat. But no one in reasonably good health ever died from a less than spotless house or from less than gourmet meals. On days you feel up to it cook enough so you can freeze half and you will have part of your dinner ready for a day when it hurts to even move. Do not be afraid to accept help. Children as young as 3 or 4 can "make their own Bed" maybe not like you would do the job, but resist feeling like you need to correct them as long as they get the pillow where it belongs and the covers pulled up to the pillow. Remember God will never leave or forsake you! I promise to keep you and your family in my Prayers! I hope some of this helped.

Katherine - posted on 02/06/2011

i am so sorry to bug you again but I have another suggestio that popped into my mind.
Since I do womans bible studies and we use Christian books for those studies is I was going to get my own books that apply to my life and do a bible study on my own at home for my own peace of mind. I need to get better aquainted with God on my own without always turning to a church setting to get it.
I also am going to start a study with my Sis. using the books we are reading now called Facing Your Giants. My sis is going through a hard time and this book study would help her so much.
so there you go.

Katherine - posted on 02/06/2011

I attend weekly bible studies for woman, with that I have to study through the week til the next meeting. Which I have been slacking lately and no good excuse besides forgetting to do it. Anyways My husband 2 daughters and will sit and read nightly from their childrens bedtime bible stories and we reflect on it fromthe bible.
I would suggest attending a bible study or following a book out o f the bible that your Pastor has done a surmon after.
Or attend bible studies and go home and read more into it or start with a book that interest you in some way.
I did weekly bible studies with my sister for 2 years and it was good. It was by phone since she lives in iowa and I live in Nevada
Good luck I hope you our suggestions helpful and are able to start soon.

KELLIKAYZ - posted on 02/05/2011

I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS, GOD BLESS YOU SWEETIE. GOD WILL GIVE YOU ALL YOU NEED TO BE THE BEST MOMMY AND NEVER FORGET THAT THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!!

Gail - posted on 02/05/2011

Greetings Charlee, Some nice suggestions have been made here. I will add another thought that came to mind whle reading one of the other ladies suggestions, she spoke of someone(s) suggesting Christians can't get sick: Well you see in the book of Job, this was a man God was basically boasting of his goodness before Satin, God allowed him to go under trial, including from friends that couldn't wrap their minds around Job's afflictions either and thought maybe his afflictions must have related to sin, it is hard when we hope for comfort from friends and get this kind of response instead. I found Jesus' words pop into my mind "forgive them Father for they know not what they do" because we try so much to find reasons for our sufferings, in hope to find a solution to aleviate them. James 1 has also been a good reminder. Isaiah 26:3, 4 also a repeatable verse I found to keep in mind. And Isaiah 40:29-31; Isaiah 61:1--3. Also in many Psalm that reminds us the importance of singing and giving thanks. Songs of praise are helpful to have in mind when going to sleep at night, as Philipians 4:6-8 reminds us the importance of what we dwell on.
When I struggled to want to make some wonderful pies for thanksgiving and just let my daughters play happily about, the Lord showed me to cease the moment, I could teach/ instruct them how from the couch while I was suffering a struggle with weakness from asthma, so I did so, they were blessed and so was everyone who's lips touched a bite of the pie's. My dear friend Mary struggling from stage 4 breast cancer now spread throughout her body, struggling with pain, do the same with her children. She cannot do as much as she would like, but cease the moments that you have, be it singing praise songs, instructing from your seat, loving conversations (or just being ears to hear, while they talk) What ever God gives you, that you are able to do, do it as unto the Lord. Pray, let Him be your guide, to show you what do you have in your hands and together, Praise His holy name! Surround you and your family with the body of Christ that we can be truly a body of many members Ephesians 4:16. Find ways you can, within your limitations to minsiter and to allow them in turn minister into your lives. This is the Church!
Last night my friend (probably not long before she goes home to be with the Lord) her and her husband had their church community group in their home for the midweek gathering. This was such a beautiful picture of Psalm 105:1-5. Her 9 year old son had learned how to play the guitar and played her favorite hymn leading us in song. Her 12 year old daughter cuddled carefully beside her mom, singing beautifully along side of her. We have been friends for 25 years now, the thought of this sister being gone is hard to fathom for me she has been such a beautiful sharperener of Christ for me. And even in her condition she ministers from where she stands, beside other chemo patients, in the church, on face book, on the phone, with neighbors... I am amazed how God uses her. What ever suffering we struggle with, God can use us with Children, husband, and many others. It often paves a way to have a voice we could not otherwise have. This is a journey, and you sister are not alone!

Lorraine Alicia - posted on 02/05/2011

Hi Charlee



I do not suffer from the same thing you suffer from but i know what it is to not be able to be the Mom you want to be. Last year i found out i have a heart problem and it keeps me back from doing the things i love to do with my children.

I seek comfort from the word of God, every day i find a new verse in the bible and it carries me through the day. When things get tough just say the verse. I even now have a song in my heart and mind everyday as well. You need to surround your self with positive taughts and pray constantly.



Remember he is able and did not bring you this far to leave you.



I hope this help and i will also keep you in my prays.

Carla - posted on 02/05/2011

Sweetheart, we don't always understand God. We have always been taught that if we have faith, we will not suffer. This, however, is not what the Bible says.

I had asthma until age 16 really bad. I was always puny and sickly. I outgrew it, to a certain degree, married and had children. At age 38 I experienced weird symptoms, lost tons of weight, and other horridly unpleasant things I will not post. I was hospitalized, diagnosed as stress, and told to get the stress out. My husband had just broken his back, I was working at the post office, doing walking routes of 11-13 miles a day. I HAD to go to work. I would pass out on the job, blood pressure dropping drastically. I was finally diagnosed with sprue, and got on a gluten-free diet. In the meantime, I injured my back at work, and fibromyalgia (like arthritis of the muscles) set in, along with arthritis. Fibro causes great depression, so I was trying to work with suicidal tendencies, pain that would stop a truck driver, and massive amounts of meds. THEN I needed a hysterectomy! I had to quit work about a year after, due to pain. Then a couple years after, I had a heart attack. Now, if we went by what we have been taught about a Christian not being sick, we would think I was the world's worst sinner! And, quite frankly, it has taken me years to accept my life, and work within it's confines. I have found that I can write, and have written a woman's study for those who life has beaten down. I have found a wonderful outlet on Christian Moms and Christian Mommies. I can post on fb encouraging things for my friends.

Joni, a singer from a few years ago called Dahlia, both these women were Christians, but were confined to wheelchairs. They did not allow their infirmities to quench their fire and love of God. They worked with what they had. And, quite frankly, it is discouraging to think that, as Christians, we can't be sick, we can't have injuries. This is a terrible mark to have to live up to! God works as He sees fit. We can encourage others who are struggling BECAUSE we ARE battling and still are able to praise God and tell of His goodness.

It is going to take a little time to wrap your mind and heart around this. It's understandable, and God certainly understands. But trust in Him, and not in what you have been told, honey. He will help you be a great mother--maybe not like you expected, but it will be with His Hand in yours.

God bless, honey. If you need to chat further, message me.

Linda - posted on 02/04/2011

I feel it providential that I looked at COM tonight. I just came back from a meeting where the leader read the intro to a book which I think you will find VERY helpful. Here's the link at CBD:
http://www.christianbook.com/place-heali...

This was written by Joni Erickson Tada, the quadriplegic, on some chronic pain that she is currently experiencing. I haven't read the whole book, but what I've heard so far is amazing. I would highly recommend it. We will pray for you, and welcome to the group.

Heather - posted on 02/04/2011

Charlee, first and foremost, welcome! I'm glad you found us. This community has been a huge blessing to me, I hope it will be to you as well. I know it's nothing compared to what you are going through, but I suffered from dehabilitating headaches last summer. We did find the cause and I am being treated for them, but I have found the most comfort in the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12 (specifically 8-10). It might not be God's will to take away the pain, but His grace is still sufficient, and we are made perfect in our weaknesses.