Penny - posted on 01/12/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
12
43
I am 43 with 8 children ages 23, 18, 11, 9, 6, and triplets that are 3. We just have left their dad who was becoming abusive. Now all my 11 year old and 9 year want to do is fight. They also do not want to do chores, because they have not had to before how to get them to stop fighting and do chores.
I am at a loss.
Penny
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Cheryl - posted on 01/13/2010
738
36
If they haven't done the chores before, they may be afraid of doing them wrong or dissappointing you. Walk them through the chores a few times- doing it with them and always praise SOMEthing when they're done- even if it's just "I can see you put alot of effort in this." You may have to take a picture- this is what I expect your room to look like, this is where the dishes go. hang the pictures up so they have a visual of their goal.
There's a book called "Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends" written by some brothers and sisters. Your family has just had a major upset and needs to bond together. Maybe read it together before bedtime. Take some evenings off and play games together- even with the 3 year olds. After while the older ones will be laughing and having so much fun, they won't mind playing Chutes and Ladders with the little ones. Try making it alittle bit harder for them- we have our older ones say the colors in Spanish when they play Candyland with the youngest ;-)
Hang in there! *hugs*
Jessica - posted on 01/13/2010
5
16
I am not an expert but I would suggest..consistancy is key...they need to know how their lives are now diffrent and how things will work from now on...they might e fighting for attention but you need to remember that attention is given for good behavior not bad..so when they are fighting they get time out, or go to the room (assuming there are no tv or toys in the room)...when they are arguing go down to their level and speak in a clear clam strong voice and listen to what they say..even repeat what you heard to make sure you heard correctly...children that feel listen to will most likely respond... when they did something right..go crazy with praises and hugs so they can see the diffrence between right and wrong..consistancy...and pick your battles..you cant win all of them but respect must be present at all times...hope it helps...
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