New to the Group/Church Issues

Celeste - posted on 12/05/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Just wanted to say hi and state that I am glad I found this group. I am a single mom to two kids and I am having issues with Church. I want my kids to be involved with a Church and go to Sunday School like I did. I send my 12 year old to a Church were I went to as a kid, but for some reason everytime I go there I leave empty and get a coldness from the people, I visit another Church and love the Paster but don't like some things that go on there. I am tired , and want a Church where we all could go together and worship. Like I said I tried my old Church but most of the people are so cold towards me, even though I've known most of them all my life, I get treated better by non Church goers. Anybody been here? Any tips? Thanks

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Kim - posted on 12/30/2009

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Hi Celeste! My name is Kim Cotton. God bless you sister! The first thing is PRAY. Truly God is going to lead you to the church where you needs to be. 2nd, do not separate your son from you. Experience the goodness of Jesus together, as well as the trials that you both will face.. And, remember, that whatever church God leads you to, the Pastor and the congregation is not perfect. We all have flaws because we are still in the flesh." Love covers all sins". Proverbs 10:12 and "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God". Romans 3:23. Your desire to have a christian life for you and your son is beautiful. Stay encourage my sister. I love you and you both are in my prayers. I live in Youngsville, NC. I go to Christ Holiness Church in Wake Forest, NC. My pastor name is Bishop Harvey Dewberry. If you are ever in this area, please call me up, 919-556-8941

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Celicia - posted on 12/28/2009

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I really hope God has been leading you in the right direction. If for some reason you are still unable to find a church, don't give up. I know it's tiring to church "shop," especially with all the different messages churches put out there. Try a church and make sure when you come out of it, you feel like the presence of God was there. Critique the pastor and make sure the things he spoke about were of the Bible, not a sugar coated version. If you do end up in a church that teaches false doctrine, grab your children, and leave without shame. Then explain to them why you had to leave, but don't just stay there out of politeness b/c it could send the wrong message to your kids. Lastly, remember, church is not a building of people, it is a gathering of people praising God. You can have "church" at home with your family by doing devotionals and maybe have a few friends that have a strong relationship with Jesus over also, so that way they can help. When the time is right, God will lead you there. But then again, maybe God has lead you to the correct church but you are waiting for it to "fill you up" but God really wants YOU to serve and help change the church. I know that's a scary task, but have faith and God will show you what He wants. I hope this helps. God bless! I am in the same boat as you and will be church shopping, too!

Jeanna - posted on 12/27/2009

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Hi Celeste....when seeking anything we should consult the Lord..we should always acknowledge him and its true he will direct your path. Also, when looking ..stop looking for perfection...there is no perfect church, because its full of imperfect people.....As your lead to churches ..the Holy Ghost will deal with your spirit when your at the right one....Good Luck..

Janet - posted on 12/08/2009

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I"m sorry you feel that way because Church should never make a person feel empty.At my church we have a time at our service when we give each other the Southside welcome as we like to call it. We like to meet the new people that comes in and we want to make them feel wanted and loved. Maybe thats what you are looking for with a good bible preaching, praiseand worship music.I also agree with Victoria , what you want is out there ,God will lead the way.

Karen - posted on 12/07/2009

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First, pray about it and pray about it! Try speaking to friends and acquaintances that currently worship some place else and see what they suggest. Most churches have websites. After you gather a few suggestions, visit the websites. When checking out the websites, find out if the churches have any upcoming events other that regular worship and Sunday school. This way, you get to meet the members outside of their normal church setting and it allows you to see the more laid back and relaxed sides.

Gloria - posted on 12/07/2009

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First I need to tell you to pray about this, take it to God. He will show you where you need to be. Remember that there are different seasons, this maybe one of the times where your season changes. Don't be bond by traditions...Do what God wants you to do!!!
God Bless and I will keep you in prayers as well as your family.

Cynthia - posted on 12/07/2009

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Sometimes it hard to remember that churches are filled with imperfect people until we are slapped in the face by it. For me the most important thing is is the truth of God's Word being taught. We have been searching for about 6 months to make sure we are in the right church. We feel like Church should be a family and you and your kids should be loved and welcomed there. Of course pray, pray, pray. God will direct you. Also the Body should be alive, Jesus is Alive and I believe that of the church too. I will pray you find a church family and that you will grow closer to our Lord and Savior!

Knotresha - posted on 12/07/2009

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Christians sometimes do not make you feel welcome. I call it the Pharisee personality. I have felt the same way, in some regards, that you feel. But the Church I am now, I love it. Filled whenever I go. It was not always like that. No church is perfect, as no christian is perfect, but there is a difference between striving to do better and hurting someone without regard. Know that you will find the place that is right, and it will be worth the while.

Victoria - posted on 12/06/2009

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Quoting Celeste:

Thank you so much, I get so much flack about this being the church I grew up,don't worry about the people just go all that but I just don't feel it and sending my son their for Sunday School and I am barely attending Church doesn't seem right, but I know he needs to be exposed to Sunday School. Thank you for replying so warmly to me, I'm smiling.


You're so welcome.



There is a scripture that say God is Love, I forget where exactly, but it  is so very true, but He also says that He fulfills everything through His body the Church, that includes loving one another. So even though we don't know each other, He can still use me to show you the love of Christ, you might not attend my Church or live in my local area, but you're still my sister in the Lord. When God brings you to the Church He has for you, you'll recognise it by such things as His word being above all, His worship & His will being done & His love being expressed.

Darcel - posted on 12/06/2009

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Matthew 5:6

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.



Keep praying and searching. Sometimes you have to leave what was comfortable and find Gods righteousness.

Anne - posted on 12/05/2009

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Celeste I will be Praying for you to find the best Church Home for you and your children.
When my husband and I were first married we went to the church where he grew up in and I was saved in as a teen. Even though we liked the church the people had trouble seeing us as adults. We started going to another church close to where we lived and have been there for almost 30 years.

Do not give up God does have the best church for your family and He will lead you to that church if you ask Him.

Stephanie - posted on 12/05/2009

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I have done the Church hunt most of my life, but when I found the Church I attend now, I knew it was where God wanted me to be. My church family is sometimes more like a family to me than my own family. I am one of the youngest women in the church, but a couple of years ago I decided to go to a women's meeting, completely expecting to be uncomfortable there. I was shocked by how at home I felt. I realized then that we are all sisters in Christ, and the age difference only gave them more wisdom and advice to share. When you find the church where God wants you, you will know. I will pray that you find the right church family for you

Heather - posted on 12/05/2009

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I would recommend talking with the pastor and letting him know. If he is a good pastor he will address the behavior, if not, then I would right that church off.

As far as finding a church where you can all go together, I think it's a great idea! I always recommend looking on-line because you can tell a lot about a church by their web-site. If they don't have the information posted they usually have contact info, and you could find out about childrens ministries and such.

I will pray for God to guide you in this search for fellowship! Keep praying!

Amy - posted on 12/05/2009

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I am sorry that you are having trouble with your church. I go to a church and love it. Saint James church in West Reading PA. I am not sure where you live at but we have a very qarm loving church. We have childrens church and the kids love it. It is during the church service after Sunday School and my son loves it. If he has to go to church and there is no childrens church then he does not want to go because he gets bored. Everyone is so friendly and will help you out when they can. I can usually confid in them and it will not be shared with anyone.I am not saying our church is prefect because no church is prefect but we all are very friendly. But I to agree with others. PRAY PRAY PRAY to the Lord and see where he wants you to go. God bless you.

Cheryl - posted on 12/05/2009

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I agree with Victoria, keep searching. I know it can be difficult, I'm in a small, rural area where there are not alot of solid churches. Picking where you are at may be few. Not to mention the talk that you are at a different church. But pray and go with your kids to check out a new church. Ask them they're feedback. Were they encouraged to bring their Bibles (did they even open their Bibles?!?!) Were you greeted by a few people during the course of the morning? And I always say give a new church atleast a month trial. This is to allow for people like me ;-) to get to you. I'm busy- I teach Sunday School and Junior Church on a rotation and may be pulled into the nursery if my baby's acting up. I may not be able to get up to you in just one week, but be sure I noticed your new face in our church!! So give it a month, attend Wednesday night and any other socials they have that month. I know you're tired but give it all you've got- if a new church doesn't welcome you after the month then shake the dust off your shoes and try somewhere else.

My husband and I have moved several times and have done the church hunt each time. It's a worthwhile hunt and rewarding to find a solid church home. Many of my Facebook friends are friends from these past churches, I've so enjoyed staying in touch with them now!

Good luck!!

Celeste - posted on 12/05/2009

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Thank you so much, I get so much flack about this being the church I grew up,don't worry about the people just go all that but I just don't feel it and sending my son their for Sunday School and I am barely attending Church doesn't seem right, but I know he needs to be exposed to Sunday School. Thank you for replying so warmly to me, I'm smiling.

Victoria - posted on 12/05/2009

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All I can say is keep searching, God will bring you to the Church that He has set apart for you to attend. He doesn't want you & your kids to be separate from each other, He wants you to be able to become part of a Church family together, somewhere that will meet all your needs. A deeper level for you, Sunday school for the kids & a place where you feel welcomed in the Love of Christ.



Don't give up, it's out there, keep praying about it & letting God lead you, He'll make the path straight for you.



You're in my prayers.

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