Not Feeling "Christiany"

Sonya - posted on 01/23/2010

Hello Celeste you have to remember that everywhere you go the enemy if allowed will bring division, keep your focus on God and above all seek God's direction on where He has planted you and your family and stay there no matter what happens until He says to go or not. I went through a similar situation 10 yrs ago i was looking for a church home to put my roots into I went from church to church looking and asking God for wisdom i got so tired until i was invited to a church by my sister and the very minute i stepped through the doors i begin to weep because in my spirit I knew i was home, you see God has a home for everyone to hook up and grow spiritually you can't grow where you aren't planted He can't use you in the capacity in which you are destined for or your kids either. so with that in mind Seek GOD!! with all your heart and He will LEAD you into all truth i am hear to tell you you will be glad you did because i thank God for my church family everyday we aren't perfect but we put God first in everything we do and He turns it out for our Good and His Glory!!!

Your Sister In Christ
Sonya

Ruth - posted on 01/23/2010

hey Celeste, It sounds like you know the right answers to your questions.You know you have to set a right example for your children and that they need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in their lives'. God has given you wisdom and He is working in your life so trust Him to lead you to stay where you are or leave if you need to for the sake of your family. They are your mission field and priority above everything and everyone else.Are the people of the church holding your past against you, or are you? And have you talked to the Pastor about this? Sometimes thinking others are holding our past against us is us having not forgiven ourselves. If our Perfect,sinless,Heavenly Father is willing to forgive us,and He is, then we have to forgive ourselves and ask God to give us victory over that past.I will be praying for you!

Saida - posted on 01/22/2010

If u love your church and you want that relationship with the lord, those people shouldn't be the focus.. You are correct u'r kids need the lord and they also need to build a relationship with God. so if u now and feel that this church is the one home u really like to visit, by all means go. Listen, God is everywhere and u think that these people are really inpossible , then maybe God wants u to go somewhere else. Go to CCOb.org and look up a church in your area. Great church and wonderful Pasters. God Bless and Good Luck.

Shelia - posted on 01/22/2010

Hello Celeste just want to encourage you to really lay all this at the feet of our Savior. Prayer is so important and i encourage you to pray for the people in your Church for God to change their hearts. I agree with some of the other ladies if you Pastor preaches from the Word and stands truly on it I would stay under His leadership and trust in God to change the hearts of the people. If you have not heard Kari Jobe on youtube the song The More I seek you will encourage your heart and you will feel God's loving arms around you He will show you the way and lead you in the right path. Stay in the Word and don't let the enemies tell you lies... I will be praying for you..

Leann - posted on 01/22/2010

AMEN to that. I noticed that too about being in a bigger church vs. a smaller church! It's so true!

Sharon - posted on 01/22/2010

Hello Celeste, I'am new to this but "Listen for the word to be removed" hold your head up and get them kids back into sunday school. Let God guide your direction He will let you no when it's time to move your feet. keep on praying and listening. (Be of good courage...all ye that hope in the Lord) Psalm 31:24, Amen

Rebekah - posted on 01/21/2010

Though people may hold your past against you Jesus does not! Allow that truth to set you free and enjoy the place God has called you to be... :)

Isabelle - posted on 01/21/2010

You know GOD doesn't want you to be down so ask HIM for direction IN JESUS 's NAME!

Christy - posted on 01/21/2010

It is very important to be consistent, especially when you have children because we can be such an important role model for our children. Your 12 year old is also at a critical age as well where it will be important to connect with a good church, don't feel bad that you havn't found a church home just yet, continure to pray about it and God will open that church door for you and 12 year old. Most important is finding a church and pastor that is preaching on sound biblical and christian principles. The bible is the true word from God and should be taught accordingly. I will also tell you if you are looking for the perfect church and the perfect church people, it simply does not exist, because God is the only perfect thing in our lives, because we are all sinners, that is why it is imortant for you to find a church where you are being fed and and can grow as a christian because you are there to connect, serve, grow, and teach others. The more you are involved the more your children will want to be involved as well. Don't give up God will see you through. Your sister in chirist

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2010

hey Celeste..just a word of encouragement... you need to go where you feel comfortable so that you will keep going on a regular basis. Take your eyes off the other church members and put them on Jesus..he will take care of you and them..No one is perfect and God is the ultimate judge. Dont give up.

Judi - posted on 01/21/2010

I had a similar experience and I prayed freverently about it. God then led me to a wonderful church, I know that the people there are true Christians, God's love shines through them. You need to find a church where you are accepted for who you are: a child of God!!! Please pray hard and He will lead you to the right church. I will pray for you.

Brandi - posted on 01/20/2010

its easier said than done to put you mind off the people of the church and try to be there for worship only. church is not only about the worship but about the fellowship as well. thats the problem with most churches today. they have forgotten about the fellowship. they are either too large and no one knows your name or whether you are there Sunday or not OR everyone is in your gossip business rather than gathering together as a family. you need to be in a nurtuting place; a place where little to no one knows you if thats what you have to do. I would say try bible study at a different church first then when you find a comfy place then try bumping it up a little

Leann - posted on 01/20/2010

Hi Celeste, boy do I understand inconsistancy,...it is tough to get over. But, I know you can do it. How about a suggestion; before you commit to going to church every Sunday, make mini-goals; that is how you can build confidence in yourself to keep to a goal. How about, when you wake up in the morning, give God 5 minutes to say Good Morning, and give yourself back to Him (submit), and ask for His protection over you and your loved ones, ect. Start off each morning like that, and as you have become constistant with the 5 min. per day thing, increase it. This will put your focus on God instead of what people think of you and your past, and bring you into a closer relationship with Him. You will begin to see break throughs in your life, and also your children will see your joy and your example in doing these things. Of course if they see you enjoying your relationship with God, they will begin to want it too. And, then once you feel confident and consistant in spending alone- time with the LORD, you can have the confidence to step out and become consistant in going to church too.

Erin - posted on 01/20/2010

i will pray for you as well. you can pray for a change of heart, but you have to make personal effort. Your children deserve to be true children of God...especially in our world today. Does God not deserve to have your praise at least once a week? This, for one, is great family time, great time for you to get rejuvenated and be satisfied that your babies got to experience being around other people of Christ. I do, however, recommend that you find a church that will have your children in with other children. that is where our children grow in the word and realize what is going on. Find comfort in church and do it for the blessings of your family.

Rochelle - posted on 01/20/2010

Hi Celeste

Trust the Lord and just stand on his words. Don't worry about your past we all have a past. But just like God forgave them he will also forgive you. God has so much in store for you so don't let people steal your joy. You must live for yourself and you children. Are you going to church for them or yourself? When God bring you to it he will also see you through it. Have Faith and trust God. I know you will do the right thing because he will show you the right way to go.

Jen - posted on 01/20/2010

I have been where you are. Find a church where the truth is spoken and where the church family embraces you as a child of God. If you are uncomfortable at this present church and the other church goers are making you feel that way, find a bible teaching church where they will love you. In a church you need fellowship, love, and the truth. My family and I used to go to a church like what you are describing, God was not there. Those people were only practicing and going through very rehearsed routines, and they didn't want anyone coming in messing that up. That wanted their own little "club" to play church. We go to a bible church that was started by as a missions church (so no affilations) and we have found Christ, and we know we have Him in our lives. Helping us each day, leading and guiding us to raise our children in his way. We are not perfect, and noone is. But God knows you past and he will love you anyway and always. Reach out to a different church, but reach out to Him and tell him you believe in His Son Jesus Christ first, so that you have eternal salvation. God Bless.

Tabb - posted on 01/19/2010

Same here! I am a Christian. I don't go every Sunday. I want to, and even though the church we go to is a very small church, our 4 and 2 year old still act up from having to sit for so long. The pastor and no one else minds (during a service one Sunday he let one of my boys run up to the front of the church while he was preaching and he loved it, he actually yelled at me *because he was worked up over preaching* and told me to let him go, I stopped dead in my tracks!) No one except my Uncle and his family go to Church on a regular basis in our family, but they live 4 hours away. We have always believed and followed, but Church wasn't something we always did. I Love church, but we haven't been so much since we had kids. I hate that I don't go as much as I should, but it's my own fault. I pray every night that I will get my act together and get back in there EVERY Sunday like I should, but it is always my own fault, Laziness I guess. But I read my Bible every day, and make my boys say their blessings, and I say their prayers with them. The know God, and Jesus, I just want good Church Boys. I need the same help and 'lifted spirits' like you. Best of luck to you!

LaVern - posted on 01/19/2010

Pray and ask god to fix you heart. I had a similar situation in my own church, so I started out asking God to change the person and I soon found out that as christians we sometimes have to ask for our hearts to be changed so we can except the person where they're at and remember God isn't through with either of us yet. God bless you!

Erin - posted on 01/19/2010

First of all... PRAISE GOD for your desire, not only for you but for your children. Please pray about this.... God hears you and as long as you are seeking Him, He will provide for you. It took many years for me to find a suitable church for me... There are so many out there with many differences. You pray and God will place you. I would like to recommend that you experience other churches. When you feel this way about a place where God is supposed to be, something is not right. It may be easy for someone to tell you not to be concerned with the people, but church is about FAMILY, and if you are not comfortable or feel out of place, this is not your family. Nor the one God would like you to have. How is it possible to go Praise our God and thank Him for our many blessings if we have no one to support you or be of a good example? Hunny, set you a plan.. get your babies excited about church and God. every chance you get, pray with them, mention your God, tell them the things that God has done for you everyday (because if you are conscious of Him, you will see). You must be dedicated to God, not church. A great church family will happen, just take that step to search. But most importantly search your heart and pray for the guidance of Christ. God Bless you!!! and good luck!!! I will pray for you.

Esther - posted on 01/17/2010

Celeste, I went through something similar where I had been attending a church for several years but just wasn't feeling at home. I had a lot of convictions but didn't know what to do. I felt very stirred in my spirit to do something about it. I kept praying and just kept pushing God to let me know exactly where HE wanted me to go to church. Before I had made my decisions and wasn't realizing that going to church was His will, but it was even more His will for me to pray about and get specific direction about the church He wanted me to go to. So when I was getting exasperated, He let me know through a vision that had some of the details of the windows at this church that I knew about. I saw a picture of the church and there they were.... the details in my vision. I KNEW I was supposed to go there. If He will lead me in such a profound way, He wouldn't love you any less. I really am glad that I am going to that church now and I have peace about the leadership and about giving money there as well. God bless you

Migdalia - posted on 01/17/2010

Have you looked for another church to go to? Have you spoken to the Pastor maybe he/she has suggestions. No one should hold the past against you. WE are not perfect and God is the only one to judge not people. Good luck and keep praying

Georgia - posted on 01/16/2010

Hi Celeste, I thought that I would give you a word of encouragement, It is not about people,everyone there has something in their life that they need help with, Set your eyes on Jesus and forget about everyone else around you. The word says to train up a child in the way that they should go and when they get old they will not depart from that way. Focus and get all you can from God, You are taking a chance with your soul church hopping, you can pick up spirits and wont even realize it until it is too late. Get somewhere where the word is being preached and taught, and stay, as long as your Pastors are talking the talk and walking the walk, and live upright, you need to stay planted so you can grow in the Lord. He has much instore for you so plant your feet,like a tree planted by the rivers of water, you shall not be moved

Sandra - posted on 01/16/2010

Celeste, You've had a veriaty of replies but I just want to say that I'm in a somewhat simular situation. Although God has brought a couple into my life to help me along here. The ones that have told you that no matter where you go your past will always follow (or other wise be known sooner than later) is so very true. I tried a new church and at first it was great but then my past surfaced and most everyone knows now. Some will always look down on me others will say I've come a long ways. The same will be for you. My advice to you would be to stay put and keep going, show the doubters that you are a child of God and you are real and living it every day. Get yourself into a homegroup for support. The hardest part will be the first step, but the only way to get past it is to take that first step. Just remember there will be those who will always try to put you done, in your current church or a new one.

Sheryl - posted on 01/16/2010

i would try a new church or talk to the pastor! one time at my church some family where in a des. and they pastor talk to both and try to help them come to and understanding. no one should hold your past against you! everyone make mistakes! they need to rem. it not for them to judge you that for god to do! hope that helps some. good luck!

Glenda - posted on 01/16/2010

There will never be a perfect church, because ther are no perfect people. Satan places people, (even christians, who sometimes don't realize they are being led by satan)) in your way to discourage you from coming to church and putting God first. But I thjink we need to go to a church, first where we are comfortable but more important where our kids are happy. If we don't get the message to them when they are small it will be hard for them later. The lady's message (Doris Blake) has it right on. There is nothiing wrong with changing churches if the Lord leads you to do it. Just don't talk about the other church in a bad way afterwards

Debbie - posted on 01/16/2010

your relationship with God is just that... between YOU and God. Sounds to me like you should find another church, one that accepts the fact that NOONE other than Jesus was or is perfect. Everyone has a past girl, we all had a "once were" before we accepted Jesus and became a new creation in Him. Hold your head up high & proud, you are a daughter of the King!

Janet - posted on 01/15/2010

May God bless you!!!I hope you never lose your faith. hang on to that praise the Lord

Elizabeth Jane - posted on 01/15/2010

Celeste, go with your God given instincts. He will lead you to where u need to go. Trust him and have faith in him to do that. I think it is great that you are aware that your children need God!. It is sad but yet at the same time it is funny when I use to think I was my childrens God? What was I thinking? LOL

Paula - posted on 01/15/2010

Are you sure they are judging or are YOU judging yourself? OR are you judging them by prematurely deciding they are judging??? Sometimes we think people are looking at us and talking about us but they are not. On the other hand, if you KNOW they truly are judging- then I feel for you. Also, you could play it up like I do with "Wow, I'm so glad I am not who I was- thank you Jesus for the gift of re birth!" Those who REALLY appreciate the gift of forgiveness are those who REALLY needed it- like me for example!!! :) Sometimes acknowledging that you had a shaky past shows people that you are on the right path to a better future which is honorable if you ask me. Not to mention it really shows the POWER of the Cross!!! :) Pray about it.

Tarrah - posted on 01/15/2010

Hi CELESTE, I am reading your blog and i would say first ask God is that the church you need to be at. God doesnt want us to be unhappy when we come to worship. I would suggest visiting other churches in your area. Before you visit write down what kind of church you would feel comfortable at and what is most important for you and your children when it comes to attendance, also pray before you visit you dont want to join the first thing that is appealing but you also want to get that confirmation from God that this is for you. for example. you may want a church that has good bible teaching and lots of activites for your children so when you visit see which church has a childrens church , or close to that ministry , that way your children enjoy going to church as well as you. The goal is to be free and worship and learn of God more and more each day on your spiritual journey .. See what qualites that you have that will help the church , this makes you active and involve, like being the Sunday school secrectary or usher board , or maybe youth choir director , take those same talents that you have and apply them to the church that you desire . It takes stress off of you,it shows your children that you can seek out what you want and that you also asked for guidance through prayer and meditation.



Dont be afraid to step out and seek what it is that you need for your soul salvation... .I started out with Tv ministry for 6months, i visited diffrent churches and my kids got tired of me going back and forth , but then i asked God what church would he have me to be at, I didnt even drive. He showed me a church i went, The pastor and his wife gave me a ride, then God blessed me with a vehicle , i got more committed to Sunday services , bible study and i even was the sunday school teacher, singer in the choir , worship singer and worked with the church administrator. Then i got married and I am now a First Lady where my husband is a pastor. It was five long years but look at the progress. The same for you is waiting... Be blessed.

DEBBIE - posted on 01/15/2010

WELL,CELESTE,church is in your heart,where you are going it is just a building.If you feel in your heart that this is the church for you and you feel good about going there then it do not matter what the people say or think about you it all about Jesus not man.Just remember God made you and not man for man will let you down but not God he is alway with you.So make up in your heart and mind to live and service God not the Pastor nor peoples.

Rosa - posted on 01/15/2010

Keep your eyes on the prize...all else will fall away. If the Lord wants to move you out of that church, He and only He will. Sometimes the Lord uses the folly of others to build our characters, don't run, be still and know he is there and that there is a purpose to every moment. Forgive yourself and when you start walking like a forgiven person, others will notice. Be bold you are His child and you belong in His house.

Robertine - posted on 01/14/2010

I agree with Doris. Keep your eyes on HIM and not on the people. People don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in. They are not perfect and they are not judges over you. Pray and ask the Lord for direction. He knows what's best. It's about your relationship with HIM that matters. Be encouraged.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/13/2010

I think a new church may be the right step for you. You should not be around people who are pulling you down. You need to be uplifted and be able to rejoice. No one should dread going to church (though I do know how hard it is when it is so cold outside and it is warm and cozy in your bed!!) A church should be able to look at you and love and support you despite your past. They should never hinder you because of it. The perfect church is out there and I suggest you reach out with your family and grasp it!

Bernadette - posted on 01/13/2010

Jesus loves you this I know!! You are the only one that can answer that question whether to go or stay. But I wouldn't answer it with out prayer and an answer from God. He will speak to you. A personal testimony. I go to church where my mother and sisters go. They know the old Bernadette. They have been quick to bring up the old Bernadette. I have even refused to go sometimes because of conflicts between us. Everytime that I tried to leave the church The Lord brought me back to it. But I tell you what I realized that they were a part of my growing process. Now when some of my old mess is brought up I say that it is just a test and this too shall pass. I am stronger because I put my sight on Jesus. and stopped looking at man. I am praying for you and your situation. If you put your eyes on Jesus he will direct your path. God Bless.

Michele - posted on 01/13/2010

No matter what are pasts are, when we receive Christ as our personal Savior and Redeemer, our sins of the past cease to exist in His eyes. We are redeemed! Isn't that awesome?!?!? Satan is just loving the fact tha you doubt yourself (which ultimately is doubting God, that He has cleansed you). Do not give in to the folley of the gossipers. You are His child and if He wants you to go to a new church, He will show you where. Your doubts are not from Him.
((((HUGS)))

Celeste - posted on 01/12/2010

OMG, thank you, you broke it down to me! I will pray and reread this scriptures in your post, I am so glad to have this board, thank you so much, I will start prayin more on the situation and be still, Love this thank you, from me and my kids, I just want to be a better person, I was raised in the Church and I know my kids need that foundation.

Celeste - posted on 01/12/2010

You are right, I got to turn it over to God, this back and forthing with this Church is bringing me down, thanks so much for you words.

Celeste - posted on 01/12/2010

That was my next move, visiting somewhere else, where me and mine can go and start fresh,mabey I've out grown the non church related things that goes on there.

Celeste - posted on 01/12/2010

Thanks so much, and especially for the Scripture.

Celeste - posted on 01/12/2010

Thanks so much for caring to reply, I will hold my head up and continue to pray

Janet - posted on 01/11/2010

We all are sinners even the ones in your church. No one has room to rudge. That is left up to the good Lord go to church and hold your head up high . Your Gods child and he loves you. I will also pray for you.

Victoria - posted on 01/11/2010

Don't worry about the people, If the Pastor is a good bible teaching & preaching minister, don't let satan use other folk to drive you out of the place that God has for you. set you focus on God, and as people start to see God in you & through you, they won't even think about your past anymore. But it's starts with you, Philippians 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, 14 I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.

Only you can do that, and no body can stop you unless you let them. Be strong for God will go a head of you and fight for you and your children.

Cheryl - posted on 01/10/2010

I don't know your area but where I'm at- good, solid, Bible preachin' churches are hard to come by! If there is another- check it out but eventually your past will be known there too. Focus on who you are today and who Jesus wants you to become.... As much as those other people don't want to admit it- they were all saved from sins too. God does not grade our sins- your sins were no worse to Him than their sins. And He forgave them ALL! *HUGS* Hang in there, sister!

Kathleen/Deborah - posted on 01/10/2010

Celeste, , , Be still and know that GOD is with you! Know that the HOLY SPIRIT is working a work within you! The Lord wouldn't bring you thus far to just leave you. Trust in the LORD! Do not just believe anyone. . .take it to the LORD in PRAYER! Go to your PRAYER CLOSET and SEEK GODS FACE -- Lean not unto thine own understanding but in all thy ways ACKNOWLEDGE JESUS CHRIST! HE will show you the way. Father God we come to you right now IN JESUS NAME! Lord Jesus show CELESTE in a ClearView the path that you have chosen for her and her family. Lord guide her, lead her, direct her and encourage her in the way that she must go. Father GOD we love you we adore you and we call upon you abha father. Thank you Lord JESUS for being the mediator to the FATHER! We thank you for all answers. Amen

Doris - posted on 01/09/2010

Hello Celeste: If you love the Pastor and it's a bible-based church then take your focus off of the people and put it on God. It is a known fact that every one in church is not saved nor are they seeking salvation. Remember John 10:10, Satan has disciples planted everywhere (yes, even in the church). Their job is to kill, steal and destroy and you are giving place to the devil. Your focus has caused these individuals to kill your spirit because of your past but EVERYONE has a past Rom 3:23 - "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." God spoke to Samuel in (I Sam16:7) when he sent Samuel to anoint David. Samuel looked on the outside and did not see what God saw in David, but God looked on the heart. If your heart is right with God and you love the church and the Pastor then "Be Still" (Psalms 46:10) and let God work. Be encouraged today by "Lift up your eyes until the hills from which cometh your help." Psalms 121 and know that whatever sins (your past) have been forgiven according to His Word (Psalms 103:12).



I'll pray for you as you pray for yourself asking God to minister to your heart and if it be His Will, He will lead you elsewhere and if not His Will for you to leave this fellowship, that He begin to fix the situation while you are still.



Be Encouraged and Be Blessed

Heather - posted on 01/09/2010

I would try a new church. As much as I hate recommending that, if you don't want to go, then it isn't the right church for you. You need to find one that you long to go to. That helped me a lot. Somewhere you can make friends and get involved in a Bible study.