PostNatal Depression or just Stress and exhaustion!!

Keri - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )




HI there, I have had a really rough year, starting with the premature birth of my second child on the 19 April 2010, she spent three weeks in Neo-Natal ICU. Two days after she was born my husband was retrenched. I had to go back to work in June because of the UIF not paying out timeously.Then in August I had half of my teeth removed, because of the changes that happened during my pregnancy They started to rot. In November my husband got measles and spent a terrifying week in hospital. Then two weeks later my eight month old daughter got measles as well, and she got her first tooth during the measles, very grumpy baby!! My eldest daughter (2 years old) is very jealous of her sister and has taken to throwing temper tantrums if I don't or can't respond to her demands quickly enough.I am feeling very alone and very, very tired. I am a Christian and I believe in Christ but lately I feel so detached from Him and I don't know why. I am asking for advice and prayer and maybe some divine intervention.


Andrea - posted on 12/15/2010




First of all I am sorry you are going through this. But have faith that God is with you even if you can't feel Him. I experienced severe post partum depression and anxiety after the birth of my daughter 10 months ago. Several things were going on in my life at the time other than just having a baby, as if that's not enough. My daughter was also in the NICU. I started suffering severe symptoms about 2 weeks after the birth of my daughter. It was dramatic and frightening. I didn't sleep at all...not when the baby slept...not at night...never. I was so amped up and anxious I couldn't sleep. During all this I couldn't feel God. I would try to recall bible verses I knew and couldn't. I would try to remember songs I've always known by heart and couldn't. I suffered from uncontrollable crying. I couldn't really eat. I became dehydrated. Intrusive thoughts would constantly enter my mind. I had these awful pictures of bad things happening to the baby and was so scared. I contemplated giving my baby away to my sister...I would get down on my knees and pray continually and never felt God. I simply said His name Jesus...Jesus. That's all I could remember. I became suicidal and my sister and mother had to come and take care of my baby. I had a very bad case. I sought help from church, a christian therapist, a psychiatrist, and an MD. I new something was not right. I tried to get help anyway I could. I began taking antidepressants, getting regular prayer, and got lots of help. My therapist fought for me to get disability for 3 months so I could recover. Slowly my normal thoughts came back. I began sleeping again. I finally could drive again, take care of my baby etc...I never expected PPD. I wanted this baby so bad and had in fact prayed for her for over 4 years. I was opposed to antidepressants and planned on returning to work after the end of my 6 weeks of maternity leave. I felt out of control and thought I was losing my mind and had lost my salvation. BUT...the doctors, pastors, and other professionals I spoke to, who had dealt with PPD explained to me that some women's brains respond this way to the sharp drop in pregnancy hormones. I say all of this to give you hope and encourage you to seek help. I'm not saying you have PPD, but you may. It is worth seeking help from a doctor and seek prayer and counseling to help you cope. You have been through a lot. So PPD or not you need some help. Praying that you get the help you need. If you want to talk more let me know I'd be happy to. All told it was 4 weeks of the worst part of my life I've ever experienced. And several months of recovery. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was with me even when I felt the most alone.

Lord God I pray that right now at this very moment You would put Your loving arms around your child and let her feel You there with her. Amen

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2010




Awesome Father, I lift up our sister Keri to You so that You can remind her of Your Holy Spirit who is always with her. Lord, I ask that You touch her life and keep calling out to her in her trials. Let her hear and see You Father as You take control of these situations and give her peace. In Your Holy Name I Pray, Amen

Keri, You are not alone Hun. You're dealing with so much stress at once and feeling attacked from different sides, just reading your post let me feel that anxiety a bit. 2 years old can be a trying time for both the parents and the child, add a new baby in the mix and you're looking at very tired parents and a toddler who feels pushed aside a bit because of the new baby. I know you have so much on your plate already, but when my daughter was 3 and my step son 1 ish he came to live with us permanently and I made sure that there was plenty of one on one time. I know that our lives get hectic but when he napped it was mommy and sarah time, then she went to bed first and he got mommy and zai time. I dont know if that will help but it might help to just have some quiet mommy and 2 year old time in the evenings just to reassure her of your love for her. God Bless!

Carla - posted on 12/16/2010




Keri, the other women have answered wisely. I would just add that I had a 2 y/o and a newborn. I let the 2 y/o fetch diapers, help feed him, try to change diapers, help bathe, etc. That gave her a bonding time with the baby, as well as feeling helpful. Kids that age LOVE to help, so take advantage of it while they WANT to help, cuz the time will come when they don't ;)

God bless, darling. Regular sleep, food and a little quiet time will do wonders for your overwhelming feelings, along with the advice of the other women. We're praying for you!

Anne - posted on 12/15/2010




Keri although I am not a Health Care Professional, My best opinion is that you could be dealing with both. I know, not what you wanted to hear. Any one or two of these things would be a challenge to deal with but put them all together would exhausting. When our youngest daughter was born I had mild PPD. What helped was Continuing to Pray and read The Bible even when I did not want to. Exhaustion can make us feel detached from God and life in general. Can you go to your HCP and see what they suggest? Do you have family or Church family that you could ask for help to ease your burden? If you have not done so ask your husband for help. I know as women we like to think that our husbands should know when we need help, but they are not mind readers. I am not sure if any of this has helped. I will be Praying for you and your family.

FAther God Please help Keri to relay on You for her Comfort and Strength. You see all that she has con through this year. She needs you Father, Wrap your Loving arms around her, In Jesus Name Amen

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Andrea - posted on 01/08/2011




So glad you are doing better. Praise God for your counselor, hubby and sleep!!! : ) Andrea

Keri - posted on 01/06/2011




Thank you all so much for your replies. It is heart warming to know that there are women out there who will pray for you and offer support to someone they don't know, just because we are sisters in Christ. I have been seeing a counselor through my Church and feel much better knowing that I am not alone... It was tough going there for a while but the counselor told me to ask for help and I did and surprise I got it... I always felt that no one wanted to help because they never offered, turns out they never offered because I always looked like I had everything under control... well looks can be deceiving. Now if I need help with something or a break one of my friends or my family or my hubby takes the kids so I can just find a bit of peace and sleep. It's amazing what a little bit of sleep and prayer can do I feel like I can cope with the world again. Thanks for all of your prayers and advice I really, really appreciate it!!! May God Bless you all, my sisters.

Leona - posted on 12/15/2010




WOW, that is alot to handle, i am a young mom but without Christs love would be nowhere. Idon't know how or wat you need, but i suggest finding a sister in christ to have good spiritual talks! A verse that always helps and encourages me is Proverbs 3:5-6
Praying For You!

Amy - posted on 12/15/2010




It is always harder when baby is in NICU. I went through a bit of that with my daughter. I then couldn't nurse, felt like I missed on bonding.....

My mother always told me this when times got rough: "Just because you are a Christian does not mean things won't get rough. They will. Rougher than you can imagine. And until we give up and say, okay, God, you've got this, we will continue to feel lost.

Now's the time to pray the hardest. It always looks darkest before the light. We never know what God has planned or why such terrible things happen. I just have to keep telling myself that even though I don't understand, God does, and his plan is better than the ones I make. I don't know if that helped any. I will pray for things to get better for you.

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