Postpartum depression??

Christina - posted on 02/10/2011

I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression before I got pregnant. I did not re-start my meds properly due to insurance and financial issues at the time. My son is 20 months old, he has a great father, I am in grad school with a part-time job in the Texas Medical Center, and I STILL have postpartum depression. Due to school, work, and my toddler, I feel like a failure every day because I can not give 100% to my son and I feel like I'm neglecting him by placing him in daycare at 18 months. The sooner the better to get treated because postpartum can come back even years later. It is not just about the medications, it is about communicating as well. Psychologists are everywhere to help and just talk, they do not prescribe meds. The combination of both works miracles, good luck to you!

Heather - posted on 02/05/2010

I was diagnosed with postpartum depression by the doctor after all three of my pregnancies. With the first one I took the antidepressants, and it made it worse! I would talk with your doctor and see if they can switch it. Mine made me more tired and I would just lay in bed and listen to my baby cry because I was so tired and soo depressed. I was told that most antidepressants cause drowsiness so I stopped taking them, and refused them after the other two pregnancies. To deal with it I prayed more, and then as I have shared many times I have my Scriptures for when I'm stressed that I would read through. I also have good morning and good night Scriptures that help me. I posted Scriptures all around my house to encourage me when I get down and remind me what God's Word says. I also recommend joining a womens Bible study if you don't already have one you attend. Building relationships with other Christian moms and seeing them go through the same trials is such an encouragement to me. It helped me a great deal.

Sharon - posted on 02/04/2010

Your advice to Cynthia was right "on target" and "down to earth", Corene! I would have cherished you as a friend when I was going through that dark time of postpartum depression, for sure. I hope that both of our suggestions will together bring help and encouragement to you, Cynthia. Love to you both!

Corene - posted on 02/04/2010

Cynthia, my heart feels for you, and know you are not alone! I have dealt with postpartum depression since I had my daughter 4 months ago, and even now, I have to take things one day at a time, and pray that I can get through one more day. My daughter is the highlight of my life and she is the reason most of the time I make myself get out of bed. I can give you a few suggestions of what helps me, and know I will be praying for you and for healing that you will be better, and you can take it as you want to heart or not. People aren't afraid to tell me what to do to make it feel better, and one even told me to "get a grip and snap out of it." That's harsh and if anyone tells you that, don't listen, because until they have walked in your shoes, they have no idea what they are talking about.

To throw my 2 cents worth in though, make yourself a priority. When the baby is asleep, take a nap, a bath, read a good book,a hobby, if you're like me clean ( though that has been part of my problem, I have no motivation), call a friend or a family member. Do something for yourself. When you feel good, you can be the best mom you can be!

2nd, don't be afraid to ask someone for help. I had one day when the baby was crying and crying (she was colic) and I was physicall and emotionally spent, I called my grandma, and bawled to her, along with the baby. The next day, she and my grandpa came up for the day, just to sit with me and keep me company. Ask someone to watch the baby while you run to the store, or even come visit. I understand it's hard to get out of the house without a license, don't be afraid to ask friends to come over.Don't be afraid to askyour man to help. I know he works, but you're a full time mom, and that is the hardest job in the world, don't let anyone tell you different. The difference is, he works outside the home, you're there all day long. My husband works in another town, and while I was home all day, I'd let him sleep at night, and I'd get up with her. Within 2 weeks, I was worn out. Now, we take turns alternating nights getting up with her, and this way my husband gets one on one time with her, on his nights, and I get at least a full nights sleep once in a while. Most importantly, if you feel overwhelmed and you can't take anymore and you're going to scream.... call someone you trust right away, and walk into the other room for a few minutes to get your bearings.

3rd, talking to a counselor may help, but not always for everyone. I do meet with a counselor,but sometimes she can't see me as often as we'd either one like. However, she is a great person to help put things in perspective, and reassure me and be a good support system. Don't get me wrong, but she has helped me out a lot the last month. Talk to your doctor next time you take your daughter in for a checkup and let them know you don't think the antidepressants are not working, they may tell you to keep at it a while longer, or they may try a different kind. Do you belong to a church? Or know someone you trust that's a Christian and goes to a nearby church ? Ask them to give you a ride to church or a church group that you could get involved in. If you are in a church already, talk to your pastor, they could be a great resource of information and support.
Just remember you are not alone, and don't go through this alone. Jesus is always there to pick up when you feel completely hopeless. Turn it over to God, he will help you get through it. It may not be overnight, but he will always be there for you! I will keep you in my prayers.

Sharon - posted on 02/04/2010

Helo, Cynthia! I'm Sharon, an almost 61-year-old mother and grandmother, who has battled with clinical depression (compounded by postparum depression when 21-years-old) throughout my life. Dear heart, were you diagnosed with postpartum depression? During the lowest periods of the depressive cycle, were you unable to handle your baby/children? I ask because that's usually the main indicator, just as it was for me.



For those whose depression is chemically induced, antidepressants are often very helpful when chosen carefully and monitored by a trusted physician/psychiatrist. If one chooses to go the "natural" course, that, too, should be under a doctor's direction. Remember, Cynthia, feelings can be so fickle! I would, by chance, say that your depression would be much worse without the medication you presently take.



With regard to your other problems; i.e. weight gain, being without license to drive, painful emotions of failure, experiencing few "times out" or long-enough periods with your hubby .... all can and need to be shared/discussed with a qualified counsellor of your choosing (one who listens with the heart, understands and advises with Christ-like love and wisdom ... a person you feel safe with, and can fully trust).



Dear one, just from absorbing the little bit you've shared, the biggest area of concern to me would be that AWFUL thing called failure! I'll be praying that our Lord will help you get to the crux of the matter and find healing! Yes, dear Jesus, apply the Balm of Gilead to Cynthia's hurting heart, right now, and show her Your Truth!



I've a sneaky suspicion, as well, that the other problems will be solved more speedily after failure has become erradicated! Just remember, one step at a time ... He will bring you out !



Say, do you have a stroller? Maybe a daily walk with your baby might be refreshing! Sunshine works wonders ... it's a scientifically proven fact!! LOL God bless you, sweetie!



Just a personal fact ...when my beloved Donn and I were first married in 1968, I was thrust into a life of many absences from him, such as the time when he was in Viet Nam for 10 months. Military life (and life, in general) has taught me to be adaptable. One might as well go along with the flow and practice praising our Lord Jesus for things big OR small in all situations, rather than allowing that spiraling down into the "mully-grubs"!



Lovingly In Him ... Sharon P.

Cheryl - posted on 02/03/2010

I can totally relate, Cynthia! That was me about 4 years ago!! I don't have to time to post a bunch right now but I avoided antidepressants- i'm not much for traditional medicine. I would make sure you're eating and sleeping good. You can't survive on baby scraps and snacks- especially if you're breastfeeding. Lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and WATER!!!!
Check out www.MOPS.org and see if there's a group near you. It's specifially for moms with babies and toddlers. Most of my friends today are moms I met at MOPS over the last five or six years! Let them know if you need a ride, I'm sure something can be arranged.
There's a great book that I enjoyed called The Myth of the Perfect CHristian Mother" or something like that- helped me put things in perspective.
and most importantly- stay in the Bible everyday, even if it's just for 10 minutes!! There's nothing to be ashamed of, remember- God created every emotion you are feeling. Talk to Him about it, even shout at Him about how you don't want to feel this way- David did it!!

For me, i'll share real quick, it was post partum depression compiled with a Vit B deficiency, I was not a very healthy woman!!! My hormones were so out of wack!!Although I was making sure my kids ate good, I was not eating complete adult size meals to get enough nutrients for me. We goto a natural physician (also a MOPS friend) and she got my hormones squared away and I still take a good deal of supplements. I can tell when it's been a few days that i've skipped becuase I can't deal with stresses and i get impatient easier with the kids.
I did goto a counseler for awhile- like Carla recommended, but after awhile I realized it's a waste of my money, I already knew what he was telling me... it's implimenting and doing that's the hard part :-)

Carla - posted on 02/03/2010

you and i sound like the same person! Im going through everything u are. i started going to counseling and having some one to talk to made me feel better. since u dont have a license there are some counselrs that will go to ur place. when my baby is sleeping i try to call friends and keep my mind busy. also try to dress up where make up, and try to get ur self esteem up. i gained a lot of weight too and i felt fat and ugly and i needed to feel wanted and pretty by my husband. give it a try and if it doesn't work let me know, there are a lot of ways to get help.