Potty Training, how do you do it?

Judy - posted on 02/14/2011

I'm new to Christian Moms. and your post is old enough you may be on your way to figuring some of this out. I can share a few things, besides all the readiness issues mentioned by others.... Training girls is different from training boys. For girls, it helps to tap their natural instinct to nurture. Put undies (pull ups NEVER work, use training pants!) on a teddy bear. Have your daughter teach the bear how to use a potty. Tell her it's time to help the bear, watch her body for signs that she is holding her pee, and cue her that the bear might need to go now. She takes the bear and demonstrates how to go potty. Both she and the bear get a reward. (like a chocolate covered raisin or one smartie from a whole roll of smarties). Boys: well that's another game altogether. They don't care if they are messy or wet. they need to figure out that it is easier to just go potty than the consequence of wetting. Many boys crave mom bonding time, if you are cleaning him up after an accident, you are giving him what he craves. So have him stand in the tub alone, and pull off his clothes, sit on the cold base of the tub makes it unpleasant without hurting them. They wash themselves, they re-dress themselves. It takes lots of time.... you supervise but try not to help. When he does use the potty be sure to give him a snuggle and smile and lots of "good work" recognition. Note, some of this taking responsibility for your body and dressing yourself, helps girls too, but it is critical for boys.

Teresa - posted on 02/10/2011

My personal advice for potty training is to let them train themselves. I spent a year potty training my twin girls, so decided I was NOT going to train my son.... and I didn't. I offered him encouragement and assistance, but whether he went or not (and when he did) was entirely up to him.

He ended up being day and night trained w/ no accidents at the exact same age his sisters were only day trained WITH accidents. He's been dry day and night for about 2 months now and will be 3 at the end of March.

Nikishia - posted on 02/10/2011

Hi, I would like to share with you the advice my mother-n-law gave me. It is not the child that needs training it's you. I had to train myself to be diligent in training my children. I had to remember to put them on the potty after an hour of drinking and eating. I also took them to bathroom with me and we sat together. It is a long and stressful process, but stay calm and never spank them for making a mess. So hopefully that little bit can help. Let me know how it goes.

Shawna - posted on 02/09/2011

I wanted to do my own thing so I bought my son the potty and nothing. So basicly I talked About being a big boy. I waited for him to take the next step and he did so let your child make the first step and be ready and praise them about it. We give my son a present when he does and so does my Mother.

Tasneem - posted on 02/09/2011

forgot to say...i started wen he was 3..not before tht! all da best!

Tasneem - posted on 02/09/2011

hi abre! well i trained my elder one by taking him tp the toilet every 1 hr on da 1st day,then 1.5hrs invreasing it everyday by half an hr for abt 4 days n yes making him wear panties not pampers.at nite i used to make him wear pull ups so tht in case i miss waking up i dont land up in a mess...but training at nite was v easy as he automatically got trained himself..he was trained in a week totally i guess! so its not a big deal acc to me....me waiting to toilet train my second lil one...hopefully tht will b easy too as da first one!!!! dont worry its very easy after da 1st day as u get used to it till they get trained.

Jackie - posted on 02/09/2011

Hi Abre sorry my twin girls were trained by the daycare provider & my boys were trained by my husband but I have a 2 yr old that is ready. When he has to go he'll ask for the pot sit on it & do nothing but jump up but he will go behind the bed after he eats, hide & poop then say pot. I just tell him no not in your pants but in the pot. I find he'll have to deposit within 20 min after he eat. I think if I can get him to sit longer he'll get it. Sometimes he'll even make the stinky face look when he has to go also like sniffing his nose & making a face. I think if they're watched for a day or two & we can catch them before they go we'll train them. Maybe they need straps on the pots like the old days. They strapped them down to the pot. Hope this helps a little bit. Good luck!

Stephanie - posted on 02/08/2011

Honestly I've been pressured so much by my husbands parents. He was potty trained at 1, or so she says. Our son is 2 and a half and he just started training yesterday, we had tried for a day or two before but he just wasn't ready and you can tell. When I figured out he was ready he would always tell me right before he went in this diper, he'd say "pee comin" or "poop comin". Yesterday I put the potty on the floor and left him in just his shirt and he's had on accident but that was my fault we had to go out and he hasn't mastered that yet, we took the potty with us but it's still hard for them. Hope this helps a bit.

Alisha - posted on 02/07/2011

The age and gender of your child would be helpful! For my daughter when she was 2 1/2 I showed her the little potty and let her sit on it for awhile but she would always pee after getting off of it all over the floor, so you just have to see what works for your child. I put her in underware one day at 2 1/2 and told her she didn't have any more diapers and needed to go potty on the big girl potty and when she did I gave her a jelly belly. She was potty trained ever since, but poo on the other hand took a few accidents in the underware before she understood that had to go in the toilet as well! Just be patient with it and don't give up, let the child set the pace and don't force them or they will want to avoid it. Never punish them for having an accident.

Naomi - posted on 02/07/2011

For my daughter it was all about her being ready... meaning she didn't want to go pee-pee in her diaper and she HATED having poppy diapers changed. AND only doing undies. She didn't see pull-ups any different than a diaper. We still used pull-ups at night cuz she still wet them every night. She was potty trained at 3 and night-time potty trained at 4. Don't feel like it's something you need to rush into.

Carla - posted on 02/05/2011

We kept our two grandbabies, boy 3, girl 2 for a week. We bought him Spiderman, her Barbie and Princess. We put Fruit Loops in the toidy for Grant to aim for, with Faith, it was a matter of just saying 'don't wet your pretty panties.' We had a cute little potty chair that made flushing sounds and said 'good job!' for her. Within a week they were good, but we kept them another week for reinforcements. The day care was thrilled ;)

I think doing them together helped them, and Faithy even reminded Grant, who is the older. With my son, I told him I wasn't going with him on his honeymoon to change his pants, so he'd better get it ;) Oh my. He was a challenge. Each child is different, try everything, don't let up. If you start, don't stop and try later. That will tell them they can stop whenever they want and it will be okay with you. Consistency is the key word, no matter what you do with children :)

God bless, honey

Dianne - posted on 02/03/2011

This has been my most stressful moments of parenthood! Until I decided to stop stressing about it! With my first, I obsessed that he was getting "too old" to not be potty trained, and let all the pressure from other moms and the preschool get to me. I forced him waaaay to early, he was NOT ready. (I started trying to potty train him at 18 months, because that's what I was "told" I was "supposed" to do.) We did m&ms, charts, reminders every 20 minutes, basically everything I read in any book I could get my hands on over the next 2 years. He has had problems remembering to go and getting the timing correctly ever since, and he is now 6. (He has gotten better this year, but last year in Kindergarten he had many accidents in school.) With my second, I started to stress when he turned 2 that we were supposed to get started, especially when my friend starting potty training her then 18 month old firstborn son, but it was such a battle and so stressful with my first that I just couldn't bring myself to push him. So we talked it up "Ooh, when you're a big boy you get to wear cool big boy underwear! What kind do you want?" He wanted Superman. So we told him when he was ready, we would go get Superman underwear. Then, we let it go. No trying to go every 20 minutes, no reminders, no pressure. We just read books about potty training and talked up the big trip to buy the Superman underwear. He would mention going now and then, but nothing consistent until around Christmastime (he was then almost 3 and a half) while I was at work, he told his Granny who kept him that he was ready to be a big boy, and he NEEDED Superman underwear. She and PaPaw took him to the store, bought him the underwear and let him put it on. They did a "bye-bye" diaper dance and that was it. I came home and saw my baby boy in underwear and screamed in delight, the look on his face was utter pride and joy. Yes, he had a couple accidents the first week or so, but since then NO PROBLEMS. He remembers to go all by himself and has his timing down perfectly. He is now 4 and a half. My friend's first son who she started at 18 months is now four and is still having problems remembering, getting his timing down etc. She has to take him before leaving and going anywhere to make sure he doesn't go in the car. So, with our 3rd, we did the same relaxed approach as with my 2nd son; she'll be three in Feb. A week before Christmas, again, she said she needed Princess Panties. We went and bought them, did the bye-bye diaper dance and that was it. She still has accidents now and then, but none of the problems my first had. She pretty much goes on her own now, just needs help wiping.

Sorry for the long-winded answer. This is kind of my soap-box because of the pressure I allowed myself to feel and what I put my first son through, I feel awful about it. But I truly saw a pattern and really believe the kids know when they are ready, and we need to follow their cues. Talk it up, make it a big special event, but don't push it. And Linda above is right, Pull-Ups do NOT help, they only confuse them. We only used them at night until we slept through the night dry. Yes, we cleaned up more messes, but it went much faster and the kids felt much more accomplished than when we tried forcing it like with our first. The most important thing is to relax. Hope this helps.

Linda - posted on 02/03/2011

First, you need a LOT of patience! Rewards work (sometimes). Yelling doesn't. (all the time) When I became desperate, I waited until summer, and then did not put ANY clothes on their bottom half. They are less likely to pee on the rug if they see it coming out, much less likely than just wetting their pants. This usually works in a few days to a few weeks. There's a book in the library about going in the potty--I actually took this idea, and made my own book for my last son (who was driving me crazy with this) I put lots of pictures in it of him when he was a baby, and him growing up. It talked about how he was a big boy now and could use the potty now. I think it helped a little. Other people buy special underwear (like batman or barbie or whatever your child likes). The pull-ups are nice for when you are traveling, but they will NOT help with potty training...your child will still treat them like a diaper.

Kelsey - posted on 02/03/2011

Sorry I can't be of more help...I still havn't figured it out with my 3 yr old. She does go, but she forgets a lot and needs reminders

Heather - posted on 02/03/2011

I think it's been different with each of my children. We use a reward system. At first for sitting on the potty and trying they get either a pez or an M&M then we take it down to only if they go in the potty, then only if they tell us. Lastly we change it to if they poo in the potty they get a sucker.