Relationship with God

Kelly - posted on 02/21/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am catholic and going thru a divorce. I have so many mixed feelings.
The most painful feeling is feeling like God may be mad at me for making the decision to divorce my spouse. I know it is best for my family, but I have to reassure myself that God wants me to be happy and he still loves me despite my decision to divorce.
I am also terrified about being judged at my church and my daughter's school, which is a private, Catholic school. I am not sure if there is one family at her school who is divorced and I am afraid people will judge me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Heather - posted on 02/22/2010




I don't know why you are getting divorced, the Bible does outline okay reasons to get divorced. People will judge, even in the church, there is no way around that. Pray for God to give you peace.

That being said, God is NOT mad at you. However, the line God wants me to be happy is often used out of context. God wants you to be happy in His Will for you. That doesn't mean that God wants us to be happy so we can max out our credit cards, or drop everything to join the circus. He knows what will make us the happiest. I am not judging you, nor did I read the other replys. I just want to pray for you. I want you to be happy with God's will for you, whatever that maybe. I want you to find the peace that only following His will will bring you.

Lea - posted on 02/21/2010




Kelly, this is almost word for word what I said to Leslie and I do not know the details of your circumstance and am NOT judging or criticizing you! There were many times I wanted to quit my marriage and I mean not just a moment here or there, I mean a battle to stay put every hour for a long time. My husband and I are married 32 years now and are about to host a simulcast event in our community called (check on line and see if there is one being held in your area on the 27th of this month) I can hardly believe God brought us to the place we can be the ones to do such a thing for others. My husband is a VietNam Vet. So we have dealt with PTSD forever. God is not finished with either one of you. I will recommend a few things for you.One is the fact that Jesus Is The Lover Of Your Soul. He deeply loves you and His mercy is new every morning. 2nd is from Psalm 127 where it says our children will speak with our enemies in the gates. I believe divorce is an enemy and that except for abuse children are a very good reason to stay. There is a book called the Untold Legacy of Divorce that would be worth getting at the library. Another is Crazy Love by Francis Chan who said something to the effect of what if Gods purpose in marriage is to make us holy not just happy (my paraphrase of his comment)...
Can I tell you I hate being miserable! I thought it would never end! My tears seemed to fill gallon bottles. I became bitter and wondered sometimes how I would like being married to me in that state but seemed helpless to change myself...I never thought I would have the wholeness inside I have today. I literally wanted to die...
Think through our marriage vows For better for worse/ Richer for poorer/ In sickness in health...I MADE THOSE VOWS not dependent on how much I liked the moment I would be in. We all want better and hope for richer and health (ptsd isn't a very healthy time!) But those vows are there. Wow how I looked for a way to escape them in a way that would be ok. I am glad today that I didn't.
Remember Jesus is with us in the valley of the shadow of death and dying to myself counts for a valley I think. God bless you! You and your little girl are beautiful and God has you in the palm of His hand..There will always be times people misjudge each other. And unfortunately we feel it most strongly sometimes from our church family who may not always represent God very well sad to say...

Christine - posted on 02/21/2010




Those self-doubts are hard to turn off. Know that people will judge & continue to judge. The point is that you have to be strong and build your little shell so that you can go on with what is the most important thing in your life. Find strength in God & those close to you. Its a hard thing to rebuild yourself. Ask him to heal you... I think the first step is forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves is often the hardest thing to do. Praying for you.

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