Christina - posted on 08/05/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )
I'd like to get some advice, feedback, thoughts, etc on parental relationships. I come from a very abusive household where I was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused. I have forgiven my parents (let go of the bitterness), but our relationship is very strained. I do not see or talk to my parents, nor have I allowed my children to have significant relationships with them. The reason I do not allow my children to have a relationship with them is because I feel like my parents and I do not share the same values and I don't want my children to be influenced by them. However, my teenaged daughter wants to have a relationship with them and since she lives with my ex-husband she has a relationship my parents.
I feel very uncomfortable with this and it has contributed to my negative relationship with my parents. However, I feel very conflicted about the entire situation because the Bible states that we must honor our parents. I don't know exactly what this means. For a long time I have felt that I have honored my parents by not seeing them because I do not have very nice feelings toward them (not hate, just dislike them as people). I feel like I would get in arguments with them because of the situation with my daughter, so it would be best to not see them. Additionally, they are very controlling, so I also don't want to argue with them about my decisions. In essence, I feel like being out of their lives is honoring them because being in their lives means arguing, confronting, reliving bitterness, and open myself up for more abuse.
What do others think about parental relationships? Are we required to spend time with our parents and repair relationships that are broken because of abuse? If we are continually abused are we to go back?