Sex Education

Andrea - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My daughter is a bright and intelligent 11 year old who is about to be introduced to sex education by her primary school. As parents we have a choice whether or not we allow her along with her peers to what a cartoonised video of a couple having sex, listen to a gay couple justify their behaviour and encourage role shifts in the God given relationship.

Should I or shouldn't I?

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Heather - posted on 05/15/2010

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Um NO! That's border line porn! Plus do you really want your young child exposed to something that is so un-biblical? If I were you I would opt out, and spend the day at home teaching her what the Bible says about sex and marriage.

Dana - posted on 05/17/2010

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You can order the program online through amazon.com and christianbook.com. I have not heard of a Purity Ball but that sounds like a wonderful idea. My husband gave our daughter her purity ring for her 13th birthday, and she loved it. She had been hinting that she wanted one for months. I would do some research and see if there are any being held in your area. If you can't find a purity ball, you could always do the program and give her a purity ring yourself. Another thing we did was that my husband wears one also with 1Thes 4:3 inscribed on it, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;" and when she gets married he will give his ring to her husband. If you can't find the program let me know and we will figure something out. :)

Dana - posted on 05/15/2010

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I agree that I would not want any child to see anything like that. Instead of going to the school "maturation" program why not do your own at home? Who better to teach our children about their bodies and maturity in the way God intended than us, the parents? There is a great Biblically based maturation program to help that is meant to be a weekend project for mother and daughter or father and son called "Passport to Purity" by Dennis & Barbara Rainey. This program presents everything from a Biblical world view instead of a worldly perspective. It also has a workbook that goes through all of the things leading up to the sexual act and asks and has you and your child go through what is safe and what is not (ie, holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc.). I hope this helps. I have a 13 year old and though she has already matured to the point of body changes and menstrual cycles, the other topics discussed such as dating and why a person dates, what physical touch is safe and what is not, etc., were great especially for opening up the lines of communication for questions about things they don't know or already "think" they know and to dispel any myths already learned. We also gave her a purity ring to symbolize the promise to remain pure until marriage.

Sorry I keep going on but this is a very important topic especially for us as Christian parents to teach our kids from God's perspective not the world's.

Cheryl - posted on 05/15/2010

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I agree with Sarah- shouldn't they be more concerned about puberty at age 10 instead of sex?!?!?!?!

We would not allow our children to be at school that day!

Wow!! Add that to our list of reasons on why we homeschool! I think I'm getting close to 1000!

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2010

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Wow, that sure sounds different from the things I learned about in public school at that age! I would NOT be comfortable with my child being there for that. When I was about 10, they split the boys and girls up and we learned about how our bodies worked & about what happens during puberty...it showed nothing about how to have sex. That's just too much, in my opinion.

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Cyndel - posted on 05/30/2010

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I disagree with some of the programs people have mentioned, not that they don't work for some people but here is my reasoning:
We are to raise our children towards Christ. Teach them through the Word and through example to love, fear, seek, and obey the Father. This means obedience to what God has told us to do and not to do. Jesus didn't tell us about how good purity is and then ask us to consider it and make a pledge if we wanted to remain pure for our future spouce. He said "flee sexual immorality." That means turn on your heels and run for your life away from even the hint of sexual immorality.
By making a pledge of purity it is giving the young Christian the idea that it is a choice to make. When actually if you love Jesus and want to obey and follow him, there truly is no choice, to flee sexual immorality is the only choice.
This is the lesson Christian children need to learn before they begin to learn about sex and the other difficult subjects. If they haven't chosen Jesus and to be obedient to him in the little things, lying, submitting to parental authority, sharing, putting others first, if they don't have these foundations, it is almost rediculous to expect obedience and self-control on the bigger and much more difficult issues.
Again I hope no one takes big offense at this, but it needs to be said.

Cyndel - posted on 05/30/2010

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I would try to take her out of that class period. It is the parents responsibility to teach their child about sex, etc. not the governments. However, if you cannot get her out of that class, I would say no to both of the classes you mentioned, and read everything she is reading have her tell you everything she is learning and try to be ahead of the school. She should know that according to the bible homosexuality is a sin, that premarital sex is wrong, the sex is a wonderful and sacred thing to only be explored and done with ones spouce (of the opposite gender) within a marriage. *That outside of a marriage it is a sad and scary thing, but inside marriage it is a wonderful, beautiful creation of God for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife.
Try to stay at least one if not more steps ahead. Some things they teach is good, such as birth control, after all even a married couple needs birth control now and again. But the way our culture presents dating, romantic or non-romantic relationships, sex, marriage, and gender roles are so backward and against the teachings of the bible. These teachings are dangerous to someone striving to follow Jesus.
One of the scariest things our culture has taught our young adults and children is that anything but 'normal' sex isn't really sex, our children need to know that anything to do with touching or rubbing genitals even through clothes should be considered sex, that includes passionate kissing that can easily lead to more. We do have a right to expect our young adults to exhibit self-control. We there parents and friends should help to make sure that our kids aren't put into tempting situations. I could go on and on but I'm going off subject, I hope this helps.
*I know even quite a few christian may disagree with this statement, I have met them, but I stand by it, this is how I have always seen premarital sex in comparison with marital sex.
I hope no one is offended by what I say but it needs so badly to be said.

Stephanie - posted on 05/28/2010

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i agree it sounds dangeruse for Your daughterss to go.
Tho when the time coems for me to say yes or no i still want to look over waht is being said and maybe talk about those subjects at home with them.(son or daughter infact) then maybe she will not feel as left out. ..
Maybe if the subject matter didnt sound so bad (as You were talking about) i will let them go but i will not let them go if i am not welcome to sit in the class as well. i want all rights to what is going in my children's heads screened and the right to walk out with them if it is wrong.

Darcel - posted on 05/27/2010

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I wish all parents would provide a family focused sexual education at home, but it is not the case so the schools must bridge the gap. That being said I have a really big problem with the age appropriateness of the content the school in question is offering an 11 year old child.

My memories of 11 year old sex education class in public consisted of explaining a girls monthly cycle, pimples, body hair and other growing up issues. We where also taught not to tease boys when they have spontanous erections because they can't always help it. Sex was explained briefly, but only to explain the basics of baby making not morals, values or anything like that. No STD's no condoms, homosexuality, or anything of that nature until I was in high school.

What happened to the basic sex-ed lessons I learned at 11 years old and when did they become so graphic requiring videos? I am not saying that the information is not important, but it is so not necessary to tell an 11 year old child about it yet. That really bothers me.

Vanessa - posted on 05/19/2010

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based off what you said, the class is inappropriate. all it is doing is introducing a spirit of perversion to our children. I wouldnt let my son watch it

Sheryl - posted on 05/18/2010

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well i feel not child at age of 11 should see a video of a couple having sex or listen to a gay couple justify ther behavior. when i school we where teached that sex is not safe, when your not married and that we should wat till marriage and if we did that we make sure we protect your self. they told us way but not video or lesson to a gay couple just. there relattionship. i don't think that should even brought up. if it where my child in that cause i would till them NO! and stand on what your faith. theres other ways the can teach kids and a video of a couple is not the way. yes they are at the age where they are going to there stuff like this are out in the world but there are things that no school she teach a child. if that how they are going to teach it i would say no!

Andrea - posted on 05/17/2010

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Dana, I found your post most helpful and encouraging I was especially interested in the "Passport to Purity" weekend bit. Also because I saw a programme about purity balls for when the little girls turn 13 yrs old and their fathers take them to a ball and they are given purity rings along with them making a pledge. Now we are based in London, England, do you know if their is such a Passport to Purity programme here and if so where? Much Appreciated

Josslyn - posted on 05/17/2010

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Ask God, these videos don't sound very Christian like, I wouldn't do it.

Denise - posted on 05/16/2010

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I am a CHRISTIAN. Here is my belief. Sex education starts at home. This should be answering every and any question your child has about sex (male, female, babies, ect) honestly from the time they are able to ask. If they are able to ask they are able to understand.

Now, my children go to public school because shristian school is not affordable. Sex education in Ontario Canada involves what our bodies go through, how to take care of our bodies, who a baby is made, how a baby is born....ect. There is NEVER a video on the act of reproduction (ie show 2 people having sex). They do explain, in high school (Grades 9,10) about gay and lesbians but only as a fact of life. Because It Is. GOD created everyone, male, female, homosexual, heterosexual, disabled, smart. beautiful, overweight, skinny. We are ALL made in GOD's image for GOD's reasons. As a parent you have the responsibility to educate your child long before they are 11yrs old about life. Girls hit puberty as early as 8,9 and 10. Children are not as niave as we would like to hope.

However, showing children of any age a sexual act is inappropriate. Everything I learned was from my mother and the only photo I saw in school was one of a woman giving birth. If that isn't enough scare to keep your child from having unprotected, premarital sex; I don't know what it.

Honesty is the best policy. That means, whether you agree or not, being gay is a biological factor in life, a genetic defect. It is no more controllable than having a child born with some form of a disability. Being GAY isn't a CHOICE!

Therefore, yes you have the right to decide whether or not your child should view something that could be considered PORNOGRAPHY. But keeping your child unreasonably sheltered will only lead to resentment. Be honest, if your child hasn't been asking your questions about puberty, babies, marriage, life at age 11 I would be worried about how comfortable I am with answering and how much I'm sheltering I child. Because at age 11. almost half of the girls at this age are already going through puberty and if they don't know what and why then that leads to unplanned issues

Julie - posted on 05/15/2010

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No! Definitely not! Teach her at home. You have no idea what they are going to say or what they are going to see. I would not for sure.

Andrea - posted on 05/15/2010

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Thank you ladies, women after God's heart. Yes, I think deep down I know that we will not allow her to attend these classes because even though my daughter will understand everything that is been said and shown, emotionally what will this do to her and the long term affect be?
Unfortunately I think the state education system is failing our kids and their parents as they do not teach the child how to exercise self control of their emotions. Or the consequences of sex outside of God's plan for them.
So before and after inflicting their minds with these pictures and ungodly words (and words have life). These children are sent off home into the summer holidays and 'left to their own devices' for a 6 week period without much guidance except from their peers in the playground, parks and sometimes in their bedrooms and to try and 'work it out'. For them it must be the hardest dot to dot they have ever done emotionally and psychologically.
Don't get me wrong I believe, accept and understand that the parents have a huge role to play in teaching/guiding and explaining about sex education. But the issue is not sex education per sa, but its what's involved in the leading up to and aftermath of the act. The shame, pain, disobedience. Not to mention the emotionally, long term responsibilities that all this may involve. Gosh! the more I think about it the more its clear the "No darling you WILL NOT be attending the sex education classes with your peers". I know its going to be tears and tantrums because she is going to feel left out, or maybe teased. I do worry that maybe she may told myths and lies in the playground, but we have told her to come and share everything (if possible) with me or with a mature christian teenager to whom she looks up to. So that we can pray, dispell and unravel any discrepanies.
Christian secondary schools - here we come........
Keep sending your replies, cos I am still learning.

Becky - posted on 05/14/2010

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Wow, that sounds a lot different than the sex education class I had in grade 8, where they showed us how to put a condom on a banana and taught us about STDs! That, I would be comfortable having my children attend. But a video depicting sexual activity and a gay couple coming in to talk to them? Eeeesh. I would have a hard time with that! I think you need to pray about it and then go with whatever you feel. But if you do allow your children to participate in the class, be sure you sit down with them and process it all afterwards!
Man, my kids are only 2 and 8 months, but the idea of homeschooling them is just sounding better and better!

Judy - posted on 05/14/2010

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Great question, yes you have have every right to intervene as to what your child is exposed to. Regardless of the fact if a class is in school, church, etc. Fathers and Mothers has the final word.

Victoria - posted on 05/14/2010

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I personally don't think I would allow my daughters to be present for something like that. My oldest is 8 and we've had a little bit of conversation about sex....how babies are made and born. We didn't go into detail, just that it's something that God gave for a husband and wife, that being a man and woman who are married. I'm quite glad I won't have to go through this with their school now that we put them into a Christian school.

I agree with Nicole though, I think that it would be confusing, for any child at 11, but more so for a Christian child who is being raised with Gods views of these things.

Nicole - posted on 05/14/2010

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I'm confused. The school is asking the parents for permission to watch cartoons demonstrating sex? And listen to a gay couple justify their behavior.
I think such things will CONFUSE a child. And have a very negative impact on her ideas of sex.
I wouldn't agree to that. Definitely 100% would not want my daughter watching that. It sounds quite perverted to speak the truth.
I don't judge gay couples, not at all. But at 11 listening to them justifying their sexual preference will just be confusing, and might put it in the children's minds that being gay is perfectly normal and healthy. But we as Christians know that it is very much against God.
And in this day and age, a lot of people are experimenting and its getting more and more common. Example Katy Perrys song "I kissed a girl and I liked it" That song makes it seem cool and normal. And teenagers do experiment. I'd try and keep such ideas from my childs innocent mind.
Again, I don't judge or hate. But my religion does speak very clearly about such things. It's wrong in God's eyes.

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