Single Christian Mom...

Julie - posted on 07/25/2011

I can sort of understand how you feel. Except from a different viewpoint. I too went to a church that was full of premarital sex in the people in my age group. Full of couples who pretended to be all Godly in public, while having sex behind closed doors.

Because I proudly held my fiancee's hands in public, kissed him occasionally in public (nothing too over the top), often visited him til his curfew kicked in (was living in a church supported house of young guys in the church) and *shock horror* I even lent him my car overnight (because lending your car to someone MUST mean you're having sex *rolls eyes*).

I dealt with shocking rumours at my church saying he and I were having sex - when we were the only couple to get married there within a period of around 5 years where the couple wasn't either pregnant or living together. We were the only couple that weren't having sex. There may have been a few exceptions, but ironically it was those who refused to spread the untrue rumours about me that were the ones who stayed pure, and it was the ones having pre-marital that were spreading untrue rumours that I was.

12 years later, I still have to deal with people who believed the untrue rumours that he and I had premarital sex and all the rubbish that goes along with people thinking that.

But you know what? If I had been doing it, their actions wouldn't have bothered me. It's the fact that it wasn't true that does.

I know people like to spin the line "do not judge", but that only applies to people outside the church - we are actually called to hold others within the church accountable when they are sinning.

I should mention though... people who are committing the same sin themselves have no right to be the ones holding others accountable. That is what is meant by removing the log from your eye before removing a speck in another's - we aren't told to not remove the speck from our brother's eye, merely that we remove our own log first.

I'm not some old fogey. I'm 31 but I'm a firm believer that if you have sex with someone and there isn't a good reason why you shouldn't get married (eg the guy isn't a christian, or is having sex with someone else or is continualy unrepentantly committing some kind of sin) then you should get married.

I know what it's like to be young, actually personally I still consider myself young. I also know what "in love" feels like. After being abandoned by my first husband so he could marry one of his many mistresses, I have found a wonderful christian man who I'm marrying next year. I love him, but I also am madly "in love" with him. I would love nothing more than to have sex with him. But we both know that is wrong. But if somehow we did, and then I decided I didn't feel "in love" with him, I'd definitely still marry him.

Why? because it really is the right thing to do.

Please don't be offended but honestly believe you are mistaken love and "in love". Love is a choice that two people make. That is why so many arranged marriages work out so well - because the couples involved make the choice to love each other. Love is NOT a feeling, it is a choice, it is an action, it is a commitment. You don't have to feel in love with someone to choose to love them.

Throughout much of the history of the bible, marriages were arranged - many of the greatest bible characters had arranged marriages - Isaac is the first that comes to mind - and yet he loved Rebekah dearly. Because he chose to.

Love is only important after a couple is married - it is not necessary to be in love with someone to marry them, you just have to be commited to LOVE them.

The reason that you don't see a lot of people in the bible forced to get married after having sex is because they were usually stoned for premarital sex - the only real way to get around it was to get married. Luckily we don't stone people anymore, and I must say, even the non hypocrites in your church have no right to osctracise you.

I assume you're no longer having premarital sex? If you are, people who don't "have a log in their own eye" do have a right to privately (not in front of others and definitely not behind your back) confront you about it. But I get the feeling from your post that you're no longer having sex?

But honestly, I think marrying the father of your child is the right thing to do - both by God and by your child.

Even if you weren't a christian, I would say "doesn't your child have a right to grow up in a family where ther mum and dad are together?" Even if you never fell "in love" with the father, as long as you loved them as a person, remained faithful to your marriage and were a good wife (and he did the same in return), your child would be better off in so many ways than to have you apart (whether one or both of you stay single or even happily marry someone else).

I watch the pain in my daughter's eyes not having her father around anymore. And he became an abusive, drug addicted, mentally unwell person (not to mention a serial cheat, but that didn't effect my daughter, only me) several years into our marriage. Despite the fact she we are better off without him in our lives, and I am engaged to a lovely christian man she adores and is already a better father figure to her than her father (or most fathers for that matter), it still doesn't change the fact that she hurts that her parents are not together.

And I have seen this in many kids whose parents are in your exact situation. Decide they want to get married (or stay married) because they aren't in love with each other, and even when they part on the best of terms, share custody, support each other as parents, the child STILL suffers.

Even if you don't believe it's commanded by God to marry the father of your child, would you consider doing it for the best interests of your child?

I know some people argue that it's better to be split up than to be with someone who doesn't make you happy, but life isn't about happiness - and ultimately, happy is what you choose. Think of all the christians around the world tortured for their faith who are some of the happiest people in the world - they have Jesus and their life and need nothing else to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and even when you're married to a jerk, you can still find happiness in your marriage - I know that from personal experience. And from the sounds of things, the father of your child isn't a bad person. He's a christian and was obviously decent enough for you to date for some time. He doesn't sound like he'd be a bad husband.

Just think about it... being "in love" isn't the most important thing - choosing to love someone and be committed to them is the most important thing in a marriage.

Audrey - posted on 08/31/2009

Hi Nikkita,
First of all, I just want to say good job on keeping your faith! I also had sex before I was married, and the result for me was 2 kids! I definitely fell away from God and the church because I didn't want to be judged. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I'm so happy to hear that you are keeping your faith and staying on the path to Heaven. Keep it up girl! God bless you!!

Kisha - posted on 08/28/2009

Wow, i finished reading the posts and that's all

i can say. Here's my thinking, What would Jesus Do in this situation? I think we get so caught on what the next man or woman doing and forget that question. Think about when Jesus was anointed by the sinful woman (Luke 7:36-50). People need to realize that Jesus would never turn away us because we sin, that's the reason for His coming. That's the purpose of the church.

What is a saint? A sinner that fell BUT got up, the main word SINNER... We need to stop acting like we holier, like we don't sin, like we don't need GRACE and MERCY. Get a life. The point that i'm making is, you go to church and hold your head high because you are already FORGIVEN!!!! And I bet you, the ones that are running their mouths, talking about you are doing much worse.

Now to answer your other question, should you marry him. I would ask you this, were you planning on marrying him in future? if so, what's the difference between getting marrying now, or waiting. You just have more of an incentive to marrying him sooner...

Kimberly - posted on 08/28/2009

Hey Nikkita,

What a beautiful name! Congrats on the little one. As I am reading some of the responses I was happy to see that both you and the father attend church. Maybe the two of you can visit each others churches on occassion just to support each other. You guys do get along with one another, correct? There would be no reason not to.

Have fun with the baby and teach him or her everything you know about Jesus. You are blessed, not everyone can have a baby. God intended on you having that baby. It was already written that it would happen. You have made peace with you Father, then no one can judge that. If anyone is looking at you funny or has mean things to say, then you are stepping into the wrong church. REAL Christians don't do that. I forgive you for anything that you may feel you did wrong and I don't know you. I do know that you would not have posted in the first place if you have been getting alot of support from the people in your church.

Being a Christian is not just talking the talk, but you have got to walk the walk.

Have a great life. Send pictures!!!

Lindsay - posted on 08/28/2009

My thought is this. You are right to say that marrying someone simply because you are pregnant is a stupid idea. It will not benefit your child if they are the only reason you are together. People in church sometimes expect things to be so-so and don't leave room for problems. Actually, in my experience, I got engaged in March and was planning my wedding for May 10th, I found out I was pregnant on May 1rst and everyone thought that was the worst thing ever - really, we shouldn't have been sleeping together, but even after we were married, it was a source of condescention.

It's hard to be around people who can't realize that people make mistakes and that having a baby out of wedlock is just one that it more obvious than others. God will send someone into your life that will be good for you and your child. God can make right anything that you choose to throw at him, so even though I'm sure it wasn't in God's plan for you to get pregnant before marriage, he'll create something wonderful out of it.

I hope everything starts going better.

Erica - posted on 08/28/2009

Well you ask how can you respond in a Godly way...lol..ok you ask them if they waited until after marriage before they had sex...lol..can't nobody throw stones at you...tell Jesus to deal with them on that and if they Holy Spirit filled then they will easily repent...maybe even ask you to forgive them...don't be suprise at the reaction from people but who cares what they think...you keep your head up and keep going Jesus loves you and that's all that really matters...so cast that care on him...and watch him work...God Bless you sis

Anne - posted on 08/27/2009

Nikkita I was not going to post again but I really wanted you to know that there are churches out there that do not judge single moms. Although our church does not condone pre material sex, when a girl or a couple do fall into temptation and end up what a precious baby that is formed in the images and likeness of God we are very supportive of theme The difference is your relationship with Jesus Christ. If you have repented of your sin and are living for God we see no difference in this sin than any other sin. Our single moms that repented are given a baby shower and all the support she needs. For the moms that have not confessed their sin we encourage then to to just that. I firmly believe that if the church did a better job of supporting the unwed mother the apportion rate would be much lower. Remember that God has forgiven your sin just as her forgave my lying about maxing out the credit cards and then hiding the statements from my husband. The difference between your sin and my sin is your sin because you have daughter and I have what appears a " goody two shoes" appearance. Remember you and your child are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and he knew you before you were born. God Bess you.
Anne

Sharice - posted on 08/27/2009

I wouldn't even let it faze me. People will always be judged, and the main people who are going to judge you will be "christians". It's sad to see someone who is supposed to love God, be so critical. People looked at me different when I had my son out of wedlock because here I am growing up in the church, constantly talking about the goodness of God, and then all of a sudden, here comes this baby. I didn't care what people thought because like the bible says, "he who is without sin, cast the first stone" tell them that and see what reaction you get. That child is here for a reason, so bask in the joy that God has blessed you with, and if the people who you attend church with are judging you, find another place to worship where you feel loved, no matter what.

Darcel - posted on 08/26/2009

Quoting Nikkita:

DARCEL, I've got a question for you...were you a virgin when you got married?

Of course not! That is why I can speak first hand on how it feels to be shunned, treated badly and ridiculed for making a common mistake. I may not have gotten pregnant, but believe me I've also commited some doozies that would make pregancy  a minor infraction by comparision.

On the other and I can also explain where the old fashioned thinkers in church are coming from because someone had to explain it to me. I am not saying I always agree, but I do understand the other side and since you asked for honest debate wanted to explain the other side of the issue  to you. 

If you wanted blind support I regret to diappoint; but if you wanted to honestly hear the other side of this common issue I am happy to provide that. You need to understand the other side of this issue so that you can behave and be a Christian light.

Old fashioned honestly feel it is your duty to marry. They honestly do and feel you are doing your baby and God an injustice by not getting married. They will always shun unwed pregnancy and you are no exception. Once you understand and accept that you can react better to their disapproval without being angry.

Paranoid parents honestly fear your influance over there daughters. It is a common fear that once one girl gets pregnant her friends and those who look up to her will follow. That is why pregnant girls used to be kicked out of public school and sent to adult/night school back in the day. Once you understand the fear you can react better to the fear without being angry.  

I know it hurts to hear. (or in your case read) It hurt when someone told it to me.  You don't have to agree with the other point of view, but if you don't understand it, you will never be able to get past the anger and react positively towards it.  I never said you should agree with this point of view. I only want you to consider it and understand where the other side is coming from.  

Kathleen - posted on 08/26/2009

Jayme, Always remember that the Godly way to combat the devil is to plead the blood of JESUS, and ask God to handly this battle for you. God has given all believers the ability to pray out of all sitiuations to defeat the forces of SATAN trying to rule and past judgement on individuals on earth. SATAN will always flee when you start praying to JESUS, Read Marks 5:1-43, and see the amazing work of Jesus healing a man bond with unclean spirits in chains to prevent himself from harming himself, and how SATAN recognize JESUS coming to command those spirits out of the man, and they began to pray to God and God did grant them their wish. Read the whole chapter and see how amazing God is in healing and delivering this man from Satan. The devil even have the ability to pray to be delivered from tight situations. With that said, the weapon that God has given to Christians to combat with SATAN is pray.

Jayme - posted on 08/25/2009

Nikkita, I just want to let you know that your not the only single mom in this group. I was in a serious relationship w/ my son's father, but did not marry him because I have the same view of marriage as you. A lot of people will judge you and say mean things, but don't let it get to you. You know the relationship you have with God and that is what matters. I agree with Kathleen in that you should pray for the people who are judging you and everything else she wrote for that matter. As for combat in a Godly way...I don't think there is a Godly way to combat.
2Timothy 2:24 The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone.
I don't know how big of a city/town you live in but I would suggest finding another church that is more accepting. I found a great one and never once has anybody looked down at me or even given me a judging look. Pray for guidance and He will guide you to the right church for you. I wish you the best of luck and I will pray for you. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me.

Kathleen - posted on 08/25/2009

Stay strong and know that God is with you no matter what the situation may be,God is right there by your side. Although those people are making all these negative statement against you, they fail to realize that God see them passing judgement on you, which not what he teachers us in the Holy scriptures to do. What you can do is to continue to allow God to be your guidance and to Bless all those people who consider themselves to be flawless in sin like God to do so. As a Christian you know that it is important to not pray that any type of harm and danger fall upon them. You must do the same as Jesus did to his enemies when they had him nailed on that Cross, and that is to ask God to forgive them for they know not what they are doing. Make sure you also Bless them, so God can continue to Bless you and your baby in the future. As for those parents who treat you wrong, respect their wishes by staying away from their daughters, because God want us to respect adult figures. Always remember it is not what people do to us that God holes us accountable for, it is how we respond bacck to their negative acts what God holes us accountable for. So keep the faith and just thank God for your life experience which will make you a stronger mother and a mentor to young teenagers who are also turned away from the church or anywhere, due to their present situations. I see a vision of you doing an excellent job ministering to young teenagers in the present and future.

Nikkita - posted on 08/25/2009

"HE WITHOUT SIN, CAST THE FIRST STONE." I don't remember where it is exactly, but I know it's in the Bible. I was raised in church as well, but that does not make me perfect. I do not see myself as a bad infulence on people's daughters, nor should I be kept away from them. God gave us FREEWILL, and if a girl, or boy, wants to have sex they are going to do it regardless of who they are around. Me being an unwed mother-to-be is not contagious. If anything, it should be a lesson and a learning tool for young people. I can use my situation to minister to them...to let them know that abstiance is the way to go, & if they are not virgins anymore, they can become celibate or "second time virgins" until they get married. So, please don't sit here and say that mothers should tell their daughters to stay away from me because I am not a good example of a Christian young woman. One last thing, all sins are weighed equally, and can only be forgiven by God. So again I say, "He without sin cast the first stone."



DARCEL, I've got a question for you...were you a virgin when you got married?

Kathleen - posted on 08/25/2009

That is so true, and for every man they sleep with before marriage they should be married to that man, making them married to several men, just to make things right in the sight of God! The bottom line to this is that individuals should never be concern about how people judge them for their sins no matter what the sin may be, because God is the only one that matters and can pardon us of our sin. With that said, once you ask God for forgiveness of your sin he has already made provisions for you to continue to the next level of your life, so do not try to make things right in the eyes of man, because they cannot determine or forgive you the way God does. Some individuals are bored and make a living being judgmental towards others situation just to cover up their own nakeness of sins. Instead those individuals who are judging you should be praying and asking God to continue to take this walk with you in life, bless you and your child, instead of casting stones at you. Remember is a just and forgiving God and is the only one who can forgive you of your sin and make you white as snow once he have forgiving you of your sin, not man. Man can keep things going forever, the moment you acknowledge your sin to God and ask for forgiveness, God has already forgotten your sin. Individuals spend to much time trying to make things right in the sight of man, when the only one they should be trying to glorify is God.

Kathleen - posted on 08/25/2009

Quoting Nikkita:

Darcel,

I understand what you are saying, and where you are coming from. I also thank you for your response.

To start off, yes. The father and I were in a relationship, and for a while we did not have sex. As a matter of fact, the first time we had sex with each other was when I got pregnant. I know exactly when and where my baby was conceived. I am too good to be anybody's booty call.

I must disagree with the getting married because you are pregnant being a "natural step" and that get married to "make it right" in the eyes of God & is the "honorable thing." Nowhere in the Bible does it say that getting married makes unwed sex forgiven. As with all sins, we must ask for forgiveness and repent. I do belive that marriage is sacred though.

The baby's father and I are both saved and attend church. However, we do not attend the same church. I also feel like if people in the church shun me because I am pregnant, then every non-perfect person should be shunned, right?

Darcel - posted on 08/24/2009

Nikkita,



I was raised in church and am not exactly perfect so I have a slight idea what you are going through. So I have to ask: what exactly do you mean by shunned? Are you the hottest gossip in the humor mill or have you been kicked out of church? If you are asking why you are being kicked out of church I can answer that as well, but for now I'll just asume that you are the hottest gossip.



You have made a wonderful point. Should every non-perfect person be openly judged, condemned and shunned? In the eyes of the old-fashioned, every sin that is brought to light is shunned. And unfortunetly, it is the girl who is brave enough to keep her baby that will be shunned because her sin is brought to light, not the other girls who had abortions that you will never hear about.



Yes "everyone sins" so your not special but YOU GOT CAUGHT! And church folk love to make examples out of the girl that got caught. You are now the example of a big taboo and what not to do. When moms tell there daughters to stay chaste (yea right) they point at you. Mothers tell there daughters to stay away from you because you are not a good example of a Christian young woman. (yes your contagious and if needed I can explain why and how) But you personally know who else is sleeping with whom, and for you it is not that big of a deal. And those folks who are sleeping around are shunning you as well!



Unfair? Yes. Unjust? Yep! Hypocritical? You betcha!



And at the end of the day your birth control failed. ( you did use birth control?) But if all you got was pregnant and a bit of public disapproval you got a pretty sweet deal. You could have gotten AIDS. And you are going against popular opinion and by not getting married. That takes guts girl! So take your lumps. If you are responsible enough to own up to your faults, and strong enough not to bow and be pressured into marriage, take your lumps and be nice. After a while the rumor mill will stop.

Nikkita - posted on 08/24/2009

Darcel,



I understand what you are saying, and where you are coming from. I also thank you for your response.



To start off, yes. The father and I were in a relationship, and for a while we did not have sex. As a matter of fact, the first time we had sex with each other was when I got pregnant. I know exactly when and where my baby was conceived. I am too good to be anybody's booty call.



I must disagree with the getting married because you are pregnant being a "natural step" and that get married to "make it right" in the eyes of God & is the "honorable thing." Nowhere in the Bible does it say that getting married makes unwed sex forgiven. As with all sins, we must ask for forgiveness and repent. I do belive that marriage is sacred though.



The baby's father and I are both saved and attend church. However, we do not attend the same church. I also feel like if people in the church shun me because I am pregnant, then every non-perfect person should be shunned, right?

Darcel - posted on 08/24/2009

Nikkitta,



Please consider the opposite point of view for a moment. I am not saying this view is the right one, but it is a view I would like you to consider please...



Marriage is sacred, but then again sex is supposed to be a benefit of this sacred union.



Some American Christians are still old-fashioned and it is an old-fashioned value that if two people care for each other and get a bit too physical and the lady gets pregnant then the couple will take the natural step and get married to "make it right" in the eyes of God, and do the "honorable thing." Thus the unwed sex can be forgiven.



This assumes that you are carrying a physical relationship with someone you truely care about and this is not a booty call type of situation.



So lets be real for a minute: where you two really dating and in a caring relationship or where you two just each others booty call? If it was purely a physical relationship then, no don't get married because of the baby. But old-fashioned Christians will be judgemental.



The baby is not a sin or a mistake but the sex act was and some feel that allowing an unmarried pregnant couple to continue to attend church and not get married is licensing in their sin. Its like the church is saying, we dont care that how people live their lives and anything against the bible is alright by us, as long as offering and tithes don't get negelected.



Does the baby's father attend church? If not I can also see why you will be judged so harshly. Being unequally yoked with unbelievers and all that. The old-fashioned will ask, why would a good Christian girl want to be with someone "unsaved." And yes folks will think the father is unsaved because they do not know him and will not assume a good Christian boy has gotten you pregnant and not want to marry you.

Kathleen - posted on 08/24/2009

Yes, it is more common in church today but God is still the same today as he was yesterday, and the laws that he given to govern our lives still remain the same. Do not fill ashame of your present situation the very God we serve is a just and forgiving God. The only thing that he require of those who know him is for us to acknowledge and to confess our sins, once we do that from our heart he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, and he cleanse us from all unrighteousness. As far as those who past judgement on individuals the scriptures clearly states that one should not past judgement towards one another. WIth that said hold your head up high an allow God to handle those that past judgement on you. In order for you to continue to nurture your child in a caring and loving way it is important that you love yourself, that way you will be able to care and give love to your child that God has blessed you with. Continue to keep your faith and know that God will continue to be your guidance in all the decisions you make, as long as you allow him to be a part of your life. Seek the Kingdom of God for all your answers because God knows exactly how you feel, much greater than man will ever know. When man look down at you, just look up to the hills for which all your help and strength come from and that is to God. Begin to give thanks and Praises to God for blessing you with a healthy child, your strength, health and what he has blessed you with, the situations he has delivered you from, in addition to what he is about to do in your life in advance. Never be ashame of your life experience that will make you into a much stronger person, we only learn from our positive or negative experiences which can either distroy us or make us into a much stronger persosn. If we never to go through trails and tribulations they would not have been a need for Jesus to shed his blood for us, so remember to keep the faith and allow God to handle all those that past judgement on you.

May God continue to bless you in all you do and make you and your baby the head of things and not the tail. May you be bless in the city and in the fields, Lord God! Bless her and her baby when they lie down and rise up, continue to protect them from all unseen and seen danger, in Jesus name.

Danielle - posted on 08/23/2009

We need to hand over everything to God, especially our reputation. If we hand over our reputation to God and do everything we can to please God, then He will surely take care of it. It is only humiliating when people think ill of us if we are trying to be in control of our own reputation. we have the peace that God want's the best for us, it is when we are weak that God can make us strong. God's light can shine through us when we are humble.

Heather - posted on 08/23/2009

I agree Nikkita, and like I said, I am glad that you are here. I don't know if there are any Christians in the other community, but there might be, or it could have been a great place to witness. I just wanted to let you know about it. I wasn't telling you you had to go. Please forgive me if I offended you. That was not my intent. I totally agree with you that everything happens for a reason and God does not make mistakes. We serve a mighty God!

Nikkita - posted on 08/22/2009

Thanks Heather. However, I am a Christian...I wanted a Christian prospective on my situation, and that's the reason I am here. Like I said in the beginning, everything happens for a reason & God does not make mistakes. Therefore, not all moms are married, and some of those "unwed mothers" are Christians.

Heather - posted on 08/22/2009

Nikkita, it was brought to my attention that there is a new Circle of Moms group for moms that aren't married. It is not a Christian group, but if you wanted support from other moms going through the same thing, or share your experience with them I just wanted to let you know that it is there.

God is so good, and we are glad that you are here with us! He is so amazing in the peace that he can give us.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Nikkita - posted on 08/19/2009

I talked to God a long time ago. He and I are on good terms. I apologized, and I am at peace with myself. Thanks for all the responses though everybody! =)

Liz - posted on 08/19/2009

I think alot depends on one thing: Have you repented from your sin? Have you sought God's forgiveness for engaging in intimacy outside of marraige? If you have, then you are a new creation. If not, then yes, you will be judged by God. What people say doesn't matter, it's what God says.
As far as other people, yes, they also sin, but that is between them and God-we aren't to judge you, or them. But, we are called to point out sin, and to tell people to repent.If people are doing that, then it's not judging. (if done in love).

Heather - posted on 08/19/2009

A very wise woman once told me that she didn't care what others thought about her, because God knows all about the junk in her life and loves her anyway. If they couldn't handle it that was their problem not hers. So my advise to you is to except that you have a past, as we all do. You have figured that out. If someone is looking down on you or judging you, simply tell them that God loves you and has forgiven you, and ask why can't they. I also want to add a few of my favorite scriptures (I have many)...

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Psalm 118:6
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Psalm 32:1
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

If God has forgiven you, their unfair judgment is really between them and God.

Jenn - posted on 08/19/2009

Nikkita, My husband I were married in Dec 2008 and had a beautiful daughter in May (do the Math!) We are older than you and were told that my pastor wouldn't marry us because my husband was Catholic! I am still hurt over this and this was MY church for over 20 years, my entire family attends there and I had to be strong and walk away. Walk away from my church family was very hard. We haven't been to church in 10 months and I really feel the Lord telling me I need to go, I want to go, I want our daughter to go, but I am not happy with other churches. I think that you should search your soul and decide if your church is the church for your family, are there other churches in your town you could go to. You are right Christians sometimes do more judging than non-Christians and you God will lead you in the direction. Congrats on your little one...Good luck and God Bless!

Anne - posted on 08/19/2009

Hi Nikkita, I say your post yesterday, but I wanted to take the time to Pray about my response. First I want you to know I am not judging you. I do agree with you that Marriage is a scared union between two people that love each other and are going to spend the rest of their lives together. I also agree that GOD does not make mistakes. However we as humans do make mistakes. I wonder if your feeling The Holy Spirit Gently reminding you that you did make a mistake that resulted with your getting pregnant. I AM NOT SAYING your baby is a mistake.



If you have not already done this you may want to talk to your Pastor or someone else that you trust that is Spiritually mature that you would be comfortable Praying about these feelings.



If I have offended you in any way I really am sorry. That was not my goal.