Someone please help me...(anxiety/depression)

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2010 ( 52 moms have responded )

11

16

0

I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm in a hole so deep I can't get out. I cry out to God everyday to help me and things don't seem to be getting better. Four and a half years ago I married a man I was aquainted with all my life(but soon realized I didn't know well at all). His mom lies, controls and manipulates. She has done everything in her power to make my life miserable including encouraging him to lie to me and keep secrets from me...which he didn't need any help with, because he was already doing that. Anyway, I got married. He was in the military so in the past four and a half years I've moved four or five times, we're 12,000 dollars in debt because he never made any money at anything and refuses to get a college degree. I was on my way through college but gave up my dreams to marry him and follow him through all of his poor financial decisions(yes, i have worked one and two jobs trying to help him and have also been a stay at home mom because i can't really make enough money to cover the cost of daycare). I have a 2 and a 3 year old, both I was pregnant with while he was deployed, one of them I had alone. My friends have all faded away because they're all still single and not Christians(i.e. would rather go out and drink than play some board games or something). I don't have hardly any support with caring for my children. The last time my parents watched my kids was last summer for a couple hours while aaron and i got some counseling. Our house has been broken into and everything stolen, family died, pets died, problems with my brother and sister-in-law, problems with the mother-in-law,marriage problems, financial problems, health problems...i started with postpartum depression(in the form of generalized anxiety on a daily basis) and now I think I'm having that chronic fatigue syndrome or adrenal exhaustion or something from all of the unrelenting stress I've endured the past few years. I finally decided to go back to school against my husband's wishes(he was jealous and afraid i would find someone else or be more successful than him) and I was taking upperlevel chemistry classes and had a a really hard semester. I started noticing that I was getting sick all the time and I couldn't get rid of the illnesses. I'm only 26 and I'm already starting to have thyroid problems and blood sugar problems(both can be brought on by stress). EDIT: I've also had TWO miscarriages this year that i got all way to 12 weeks before I miscarried. Those where the worst most devistating things that have happened. Two miscarriages after two pregnancies with no complications. My OBGYN thinks I have developed polycystic ovary syndrome, due to hormonal embalances....my ovaries are another casualty of the stress along with my precious unborn little ones.

Now, my husband and I, through the help of God and the Love Dare book are coming back together. The Love Dare book also showed me that I can love some of the other people in my life inspite of all the pain they've caused me and will continue to cause me. I took my finals and made 2A's, a B, and a C. It would appear that everything is coming together....but I think getting there has just depleated all of my resources. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel so fatigued that I don't have the energy to get off the bed or couch. Daily I pray for deliverance from all the physical exhaustion and anxiety I am feeling. I don't know how to stop focusing on the bad in my life, or not enough to feel better. My stress tolerance is so low that facebook games stress me out and cause me to have anxiety attacks. I feel like I'm going crazy. And I feel all alone and scared. I know I'm not suppose to fear and worry...but whether it be physiological or psychological I don't feel like I have the strenght to pull myself out of this. I need positive people in my life. I need God's help. I need frriends. I can't do this by myself. Its just too big now. Someone please help me. Please pray for me. I know that if I get through this it will be the grace of God. Sorry this is so long but it was written by someone who has no friends to talk to. Thank you.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dannielle - posted on 01/10/2010

18

0

0

Sounds like you are suffering from adrenal fatigue which along with the thyroid issue can have symptoms of depression...adrenal fatigue is because of long time chronic stress which you have most definately had...the body can only take so much...I am going to try to send you a private message on Facebook since I have been in your shoes in some ways and can tell you what works...and will keep you in prayer :)

Chris - posted on 01/08/2010

6

6

0

Jennifer--I can soooo relate--I am in treatment for anxiety and depression, I had 2 take a leave of absence from work 2 revive and reclaim--I also have been struggling with Thyroid Disease for the last 17 yrs--I 2 felt like I was losing my mind and control over my life even thou I prayed & prayed and stayed in the word everyday--Family & friends and co-workers noticed a" new" and "improved" me even behind the scenes as I struggled day 2 day realizing now it was the enemy pulling me under--sad 2 say he succeeded about 2 mnths ago which in return is when I took a leave of absence due 2 my supervisor's intervention--Unfortunately family & friends noticed a dramatic change in my demeanor which resorted back 2 works of the flesh ie: anger,bitterness,spitefulness and fell into a major depression--I finally took the steps 2 find out if it was physiological or psychological--I found out all this time it was my Thyroid, my body has been producing 2 much TSH and my pituitary glands amongst others quite working--which created many toxic hormones in my system which in return created my Thyroid 2 upload to hyperness causing crying spells-anxiety-depression-insomnia-nite sweats--just 2 name a few--even thou I have been struggling with Thyroid for the last 17 yrs I never realized such damage it can do--It actually controls ALOT in the body--So in closing mayb seeing an Endocrinologist to receive testing could b an option__Please don't give up hope or faith--I will b praying 4 u!!--feel free 2 keep in touch--God Bless

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2010

14

13

0

I have a two and three year old as well, and just referring to the fatigue, I understand the gut renching, can only take care of the kids when you pray to God "please give me the strength to give them a bath, or cook them dinner". I understand too. My husband lives in Houston during the week while we live in Oklahoma City. So, I am pretty much going it alone. But, what I wanted to say was this-I got pregnant in May of 2005 and I lost the baby. Only through lots of prayers and acceptance (that is another story), I became pregnant again in February of 2006 with my Isabel. When Isabel was three months old I found out I was pregnant with Lainie, which only could have been a blessing from God as I was on birth control and breastfeeding. After she was born in October of 2007, I really started getting more and more tired. I would try to talk with my Doctors about it and family and all they would really say is "what do expect with two babies. It is like having twins, you just have a lot on your plate". I kind of gave up and decided this was my life. I started looking kind of to the future when the girls would be in their teens and sleep in so maybe i could get some sleep too. Pathetic, i know. It is not that i wanted them to hurry up and grow up, i was just exhausted. Well, I decided that I would bring it up again to a new Doctor. He asked me if I had any blood work done in a while, and i hadn't since my last pregnancy. He had me go in, and he discovered that all of my hormones were rock bottom low which would cause the extreme fatigue. I just found out a couple of weeks ago and have since been taking medicine to try to get back in order. I mean with three pregnancies in two years and really for me I had three pregnancies and two surgeries, sometimes our bodies just can't catch up. It is worth looking into. I feel that in asking for God to please help me, i am having trouble living like this, he has helped me. I can't say that I am no longer tired. But, it is a start. Good luck with you.

Stacey - posted on 01/08/2010

2

23

0

I agree with Heather, put God's Word before you and meditate on that! When you read the Word, you are putting on the armor of God! The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit, use it to speak out God's will and purpose for you! God Bless You!!!

Carrie - posted on 01/07/2010

1

6

0

If you haven't already, go talk to your doctor. I got so depressed and anxious after my son's birth that I could barely function. I am a Christian and thought it taboo to take medicine for anxiety and depression. But, as a Christian you think it's okay if you have any other illness right. Being stressed out constantly for a length of time can cause chemicals in your brain to become off balanced. You can get on a medicine to give your brain a chance to get these chemicals back to normal and then gradually get back off the medicines. I wish you the best and will say a prayer for you. God Bless, Carrie

This conversation has been closed to further comments

52 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 07/15/2011

15

16

5

Sorry to hear about everything that's going on in your life,It sound like me,I'll do what I can to help you,I will pray for you,But I know what you mean about losting everyone around you,I lost both of my parents in a very short time,then I lost all three of my chrildren,it was like I fell in a hole never to return,life can throw some painful things sometimes

Jewelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

6

21

1

Hi, Jennifer. I am just reading this now and I see you have received some very very nice and supportive comments. I also want to join them and just say, KNOW that you are not alone, the bible says there is nothing new under the sun. I am writing this to now to you after literally spending two days of almost slient living here in my house with my husband over nothing, nonsense. All of our children are grown and live elsewhere. We've been married for 14 plus years (we got married late in life). My birthday is upcoming and I'll be 58 and like you, parents have deceased, I have one brother and have never been able to talk to him about issues, because growing up, although he is 4 years older then me, mentally I was more mature and more stable and intelligent and I had to look out after him when we were growing up, so that was never an avenue where I could go for advice or anything. I put my faith in God and He has been my constant companion. I had a true, faithful, loving, Christian girlfriend that was my best friend in the world. She has now deceased. She's been gone now since January of 2007. Sometimes I feel like I am the loneliest person in the world, but I started this to comfort and uplift you and not make this about me. But I wanted to go there to let you know there are so many, many, many of us out here in the world that virtually go through the same thing and I even had to get that in my head and heart as well. That I'm not alone. And I also know that God is sitting on His throne and although everything is not right with the world, that inside we can say Abba, Father. Have mercy on me!! Holy Spirit you are the lifter of my head. Thank you for life, because where there is life, there is hope! I'm glad I had the opportunity to say these things to you because right about now they have helped me as well. Good talking to you, now I'll go back to talking to God in my house and my cat and my deaf dog. Love you! Let's do this together!!!

Jennifer - posted on 01/12/2010

11

16

0

I hope that every one of you that has written something on this conversation will read what I am writing right now. Thank you all so much. Its been a couple of weeks since I started this conversation right? Since then, I have come into more turmoil than I have in a while. On top of my husband switching hours from 2pm-11pm to 5:30am-3pm, our housing arrangements have suddenly come out from under us, and I'm forced back into school whether I can handle it or not. Here's the thing. I can handle it. I will handle it. Because of each of you. Because of my husband's continuing support. Because I make myself take a hot bath and listen to some relaxing music every night. Because I have every reason to feel blessed. Because, and this is the most important, of God and his not just leading me but carrying me to all of these sources of comfort I just mentioned, I will survive and I will be happy. Am I 100% better? No. But I'm getting there. If you had asked me two weeks ago what I would be doing right now, I would have told you I'd either be institutionalized or at home unable to function. With every single day, God is strengthening me. Every day God has lead me back to this site when I needed courage. He has diverted my attention away from anxiety attacks when I needed it. He even kept me from losing it with my mother-in-law over our living arrangement agreement...which at the time I wasn't sure that I could be in control of that situation, and I wasn't, He was. God is changing my life and I will not forget it. I just hope that I will grow closer and closer. Thank you so much for all of your support. I hope God blesses every single one of you for making my days special. Thank you sisters. I still cannot believe the change I feel from two weeks ago. If there is anyone reading this going through something similar: pray, every day, every time something happens, reach out to God, just like a two year old reaching out to they're dad when they fall. Look for joy in every corner of your world, look for joy in places where you know they are, and look for it in your problems. NEVER give up, because even when you are broken and hopeless, there are those around who are willing to carry you, if you will just let God lead you to them.

I'm sorry I'm writing so much, I just am so overwhelmed by the love and hope God has given me through you all. Thank you!

Andrea - posted on 01/12/2010

15

10

3

Hi, my name is Andrea. My ex-husband was in the military. I also had a manipulitive mother-in-law. I am so proud of you to admit that anxiety is an issue for you. I will pray for you. I also want to give you my email address. I sounds like you could use someone to talk to. I want to give you my number and I want you to call me anytime day or night that you fell you are having a panic or anxiety attack. My email is hawthorne8483@yahoo.com

Kimberly - posted on 01/10/2010

2

24

0

Dear Jennifer,
Look to the hills from whence cometh my help my help cometh from the Lord. Yes it seems that you're going through some very difficult times. It may not seem that God is listening, but He is. He's waiting on you. It may seem that the wall are crumbling down around you and no one cares, but God does. I have been where you are, so low it seemed like I couldn't get my head up off the ground, however I realized that God doesn't put anymore on me than I can bear. I had to make some changes. I had to get away from those people that made my life miserable, who weren't supportive, who only wanted to use me; I had to break free. That meant I had to seek help for myself. I had to get myself mentally strong and able to cope because there was no one but my three children and I. I had to be strong for them. You have two beautiful children that you have to get moving for. They need you. Count the blessings that you do have. Stop worrying about the things you have no control over. Just take care of what you can and that is yourself. God loves you and he wants you to love yourself and your children enough to praise him for those few blessings. Get up every morning and thank God for allowing you to get out of bed. Thank him that your children are happy. Thank him that you and your husband are working on your relationship. Stay away from negativity. Do all that you can to get your spirits up. Pray and read your Bible. Meditate and listen for the voice of God. Just know he does hear and love you! Be blessed and take care.

Gillaine - posted on 01/10/2010

2

26

0

i have read your post and in some way ive been thruogh depressions after depression. i have to say thatonly the love of god has got me out of it, i know that its very hard to get up and go but i knew ihad to keep on for my daughter emma. the lord is a god of love and understanding and everything happens for a reason,nothing lasts forever and who said there wasnt light after dark! there is always a way out no matter what if we put our trust in god and believe that he can do it i am sure u will get out of your deppresion and fears,.i am praying for u and your family may god bless u,xxxxxxxxxx

Lily - posted on 01/10/2010

17

5

0

I read your post and want you to know that God loves you and because of your message there are many other woman who have love for you and are praying for you. Keep up the faith and praise God that your marriage is off to a better beginning. God bless!

Pam - posted on 01/10/2010

2

8

0

Jennifer, I went through overwhelming depression when my oldest were very young. God brought me through it. I've battled depression throughout the years. My oldest is 28 now, a wonderful young woman. My 2nd is 26 and is still struggling with life. Went though a lot with him, and the best advice I got was from my pastor who told me to pray for the opportunity to fully trust in HIM. To know that God is the only one in control. To stop trying to control something that was completely out of my hands. Sounds like you have a lot of that....things completely out of your hands. I thought at first that he (my pastor) was a lunatic. LOL. I mean, I knew that God was in control...but how could I be a good wife/mother if I wasn't in control? I prayed as he suggested every day. One day, I realized that I felt so much better. I had given all my worries over to Him! I had actually LET GO OF THEM! Just pray....Father, thank you for all my blessings. I am truly blessed. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to TRUST you...completely. Thank you for taking all the things I can't control from me. I know that YOU want to carry my burdens, Father, and I give them to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

How are you doing now? I hope that the months since you have written this have given you peace and strength in God. If you aren't in a church, find one with other young mothers. Get involved with them. I found if I changed my focus, which meant getting out of the house and being around others, was a big help too. God bless you!

Janai - posted on 01/09/2010

1

36

0

Hello my name is janai i would love to be your friend! Just to fill you in a bit. Im 30 years old. I have one child she is 7. I married the man of my dreams 3 years ago... Please just keep your head high... You will make it though this.. My heart goes out to you. Please feel free to write me back...

Amy - posted on 01/08/2010

725

163

151

Glad things are looking up for you. The Lord is carring you through all of this and you are not alone. We are all here for you. Some of us are going through different situations.
We are not total strangers because we all are sisters in Christ Jesus and understand. Sometimes the Lord puts people in your life that does not know you but knows the situation from another prospective. I love circle of Moms and the Christian groups on here. We are all Moms who needs a lift now and then. Sometimes I can come on here and I get a little pick me up for the rest of the day. God bless you. Jesus loves you and so do I. Take care of yourself. You will get through this on day at a time.

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

11

16

0

one of the things I didn't mention...there's SOO much, but I've had TWO miscarriages this year...those were the two hardest thing's i went through. I can't believe I didn't mention that before, but I had two completely healthy pregnancies, then became hypothyroid(which is has to do with metabolic hormones) and then the two miscarriagges. My OBGYN said its I'm developing polycystic ovaries due to my hormones being out of wack...but she never checked my hormone levels or anything. I may check into that. I'm almost certain that they are. Thanks! I'll check into that. I'm certainly moody enough to have hormonal problems these days.

[deleted account]

I'm so glad that you are starting to do better. I'm thankful that God lead you here to a place where you can get the encouragement that you need. I'm still praying for you. Just remember to give yourself some time evryday with just you and the Lord. I know being a mom it is hard to find the time, but sometimes we have to lock ourselves in the bathroom and just relax for a little bit. God Bless You!

Judy - posted on 01/08/2010

7

1

0

I'm a grandma who sends you a big hug and kisses. But better than that, Jesus loves you so much and will help you every day. I so appreciate all the wonderful advice from the other ladies, who really do care about you. As I look back over my life, I remember times that felt overwhelming. But God is faithful and He led me day by day. And I know He will do the same for you. Ask The Lord to guide you regarding which advice to follow. He will help you find the answers and healing that you need. Love you, Honey.

[deleted account]

I am so sorry for your pain. Seek God. His word is LIFE!!!!

I would suggest that you ask God to reveal to you the LIE you are believing. Once He reveals that lie to you, ask God to replace it with His truth. Then, meditate on that truth. memorize a verse so that when you begin to think and believe that LIE, you can quickly remember the TRUTH!!!! God is faithful, He is able to reveal the lies that Satan is whispering in your ear. God is TRUTH!

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010

53

13

2

I don't think I'm qualified to tell you how to deal with this situation, because I've not been tested quite to the extreme you have... but I am proud of you for still having strong faith after such trials! That is the true test of faith-- it's easy to believe when everything is going right! You've blessed me by being a great example of how I should increase my faith. You'll definitely be in my prayer journal :-)

Sheryl - posted on 01/07/2010

714

18

65

wow! i understand what you are going through! i my self don't have very many friends that i just call and have come over and hang out with me and my kids! my husbend and i move away from where i grew up so this is all different for me. so don't ever think your alone. cause your not! god with you and many other moms out there too. what i do is read my bible alot, pray and try to get out side! i have even started taking my kids to a mommy and me class. it really helps. cause there other chirstain moms. there even this thing called mops. its a group who meets once month! they eat and talk. plus, they have someone to watch the kids. those thing really seem to help! there time i feel like a single parent cause my husbend works a very carzy hours. plus, his going to collage right know. i so i know how you feel somewhat? but just rem. your not alone. you never have been gods with you at all time. when it comes to the friends. i think and feel like things happend sometimes where god take people out of your everyday life for a reason. like it may take a away from your walk with god or they may not be the type of people you need to be around. cause it may make thing worse. you'll never know why. but rem. that the lord has a reason for everything he does! hope that helps some. good luck, may god bless you and your family!

Nicola - posted on 01/07/2010

5

23

0

Hi Jennifer, so glad to see that the prayers of these faithful sisters are working and you are sounding so much better. That would have been my advice too - get as many people praying for you as possible (!) and secondly by the sound of it you have reached the point where the serotonin levels in the system are completely depleted. If you are not keen on antidepressant meds (all they do is help raise the serotonin levels slowly again, but they can have side effects) then I recommend St Johns Wort, which can be taken as a cup of tea (but not to be taken with other meds!). The main thing you need to deal with now is the guilt that accompanies depression. Let yourself off the hook and rest in God. There is no striving in God - he loves us no matter when and how and what. You have been through enough for a lifetime already. The good news - there is only up left! As you get more and more better days, make sure you seek God to send friends your way and make the effort to let people into your life - as you can see many of us are just as messy! It is great to know how to lean on God alone, but he has designed us for relationship, fullstop. Women need women (hence this website I guess!). All the best for your studies too - that's a good move. I have a blog all about Depression help for Christians, called Black Days Support. http://junegirl66.blogspot.com/ I'm not very good at updating it, but what is there so far should be helpful anyway: Bless you. I will intervene for you in warfare too.

Jennifer - posted on 01/07/2010

11

16

0

ha! i just noticed that i said i was 26...i'm 27. my memory is just another one the things that isn't working right now! lol.

Jo - posted on 01/07/2010

27

16

0

You have every right to feel the way you do. You have had alot of weight to carry on your shoulders. Your fight will be tough but you will prevail.... You have in-laws that have an obvious mental issue, and you should look at it like that. You can not fix them all you can do is remember that they do not use logical thinking when it comes to you and your family and probably anyone else that comes into their lives, that is not your problem. For your depression, make sure you are eating properly. I too was diagnosed with depression. I doubled my complex carb intake, started taking walks(even with the kids), I also started writing about the day. After time I started writing lists of important things I needed to do, like laugh with the kids, color with them, take a bath by candle light after the kids were in bed and read a good book. I also started to compliment the nasty people in my life. Find one nice thing to say to them when you see them . At first it's hard because all you can think of is all the horrrible things that they are doing to make others upset. But then I realized they really can't help it, but "I can"!! Now I've come to the point where if someone is miserable to me I just turn the other way and giggle, because if I don't start to laugh I realize that I will be just as sad as them. I don't want to complain about every little thing that happens. Yes I'm broke in debt almost $30,000(failed buisiness). My house is falling apart(still functional), My car is slowly getting fixed piece by piece(because we can barely afford it to begin with and it's 20 years old), Still paying off back taxes too lol. There is more but I think you will get the point. Once I realized that I don't have to let others drag me down. I can start to improve my life from where it stands. The next thing I need to do is get my butt back to school like you did, good for you.

p.s. I can sleep later I'm only 30 :-)

[deleted account]

You may have a chemical imbalance. Talk to your doctor about clinical depression and get counseling either through your church or the family support center. Let your pastor (chaplin?)know your situation. He may be able to help you confidentially and there may be people in your church who would be glad to help you the your children. Depression is anger turned inward. Forgive your husband, your in laws, God, the military, and yourself. It's amazing how unforgivness can destroy a person and forgivness can heal. My prayers are with you.

Mariah - posted on 01/07/2010

9

6

0

Oh love it will get better. God will help, but you also have to help yourself. Go to your doctor IMMEDIATELY!!! There are wonderful medications out there! I'm a therapist and therapy can only do so much, sometimes we need medical help. I take Lexapro and it's saved my life! I'll pray for you and your family! Good luck honey, it will get better!

Julie - posted on 01/07/2010

10

39

0

Oops the Vineyard Church website to find a Vineyard Christian church near you is www.vineyardusa.org

Julie - posted on 01/07/2010

10

39

0

God bless you Jennifer. The storms in our life can be so overpowering at times. satan wants to keep us focused on all of the things going wrong in our lives instead of what is right. Changing your focus is so important. But start small because you will get overwhelmed. Start by just drawing close to God. When you don't feel like you can get out of bed say a small prayer. "God, I don't have the strength or energy to get out of bed today. But YOU do. I confess that I cannot do this without You." Humbling ourselves before God is so refreshing. He WANTS us to lay our burdens at His feet. He wants us to come to Him. He wants us to recognize that He is all we need in our lives. Trust Him to lead you out of the path of darkness. You need to find a strong Bible based church where you can find love and support and prayer. Christian sisters who are close by who you can call.
Satan wants us to live in a pity party. But God doesn't do pity parties. satan likes to point out all of the storms and he makes them appear bigger than they really are. But our God is so much bigger than him. Everytime you feel depressed just say out loud, "God, You are bigger than this and I am trusting in You." Your focus will begin to change. The best way to fight satan is with the power of God's Word. Find a short little Bible verse you can memorize and speak outloud whenever you find yourself in need of strength. Joshua 1:9 is a super verse. God speaking, "Haven't I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, do not dismay. For I, the Lord Your God, am with you wherever you go." How powerful is that? God is with us always! He promises that and God ALWAYS keeps His promises. And when satan makes you doubt, just say your little prayer or your verse. Out loud. Jesus spoke out loud to satan. He spoke the mighty Word of God and satan had to leave.
satan knows our buttons to push but he is not all powerful or all knowing or all anything except evil. satan cannot know what you don't tell him. He cannot read your mind. Have courage and stand strong. Find a good church for support and love and teaching. God will take care of you.

Nikkita - posted on 01/07/2010

3

39

0

Jennifer, I pray that our Father holds you in his ever-loving arms, and guides and protects you and your family. Depression and anxiety run in my family, and after having my twins, I must admit, it was rough for a little while. The pain of not wanting to do anything is something that only others who've experienced it can truly relate to. We are all here for you. I am thankful everyday that there are forums like this where we, as women and mothers can come together and offer each other the support that is so deperately needed. God knows what you're going through, and will not put more on you than you can bear, so take heart, because joy will come in the morning. We are all a testiment to His power, and I am sure you feel the love that is being sent your way. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I spent years in bad relationships, and almost left my fiance, but throughg the power of prayer and patience (and a certain level of gained self-esteem), we have been able to begin the healing process, so we can turn the negativity around. I, too have mother-in-law issues, and I know how hurtful it is when someone decides to make you as miserable as possible because they usually are consumed with misery, themselves. Continue to watch and pray, and let Him work through you in His way. When I'm feeling especially down, I make a point of finding a reason to smile - be it a book, movie, song, or my children's laughter. Everyday, I wake up and tell myself that today is MY day, and I will not let anyone ruin it for me, especially ME :-). Psalms 46 offers me comfort when I'm feeling alone. As long as God is your refuge, it will get better. Take care, and God bless!

Cassie - posted on 01/07/2010

2

11

1

Hi,
Its so late, but felt that I needed to chat with you. You are TIRED! This is going to sound even more crazy, but you have got to start taking time for yourself, so that you can heal a little bit. I'm sorry you have no one to talk to, I would be happy to listen over this site anytime. But if there is any way possible, please find help in the way of a counselor. You need someone that you won't feel guilty "unloading" on. And it sounds like you REALLY need to unload about your husband's family!! :) But other things as well. Even daily things you are struggling with, and the post partem depression can be devastating! I'm a Christian and sought a Christian counselor in a bad time in my life, and I am SO grateful that I did. I've been able to keep past things in the past after dealing with them and move on -look ahead. And figured out how to deal with being overwhelmed with things in my life at the time. I'm worried for you. But can also tell you are tough, and wanting to make it through-I think the best thing you did was to go back to school. You did something for yourself that is bettering you and putting you in a position to meet others and become more independent. You will be a better mom because of it. A truely good spouse will support you in all of this. I do hope you two can make it, and put everything into trying to make it. But at the same time, it has to be 2 sided, and I have always beleived that 2 happy people apart, are WAY better than 2 miserable people together who are affecting their kids with fighting,etc. Are your parents close to you(by location and in their relationship with you?) That would be a great bonus if you all could repair any tension that might be there and they in turn could be a really effective support group. Do they REALLY realize how you are struggling? Sometimes we don't let those closest know what is going on as much as we should, but again, I'm not sure of your relationship. I will absolutely pray for you, and would be more than happy to chat with you anytime you need. I am a 36 yr. old mom of 2( a 3, 5 yr old). I work part time as a nurse and stay at home. God gives us sooooo many obstacles it seems sometimes, but I have to say, you sound like you have come out on top considering how hard its been! And I would NOT give up!! But find a counselor( and not all are $$, most will work out $ with you that is reasonable) so you have a neutral person to bounce things off of, if you all ready have, I'm soory to repeat it. But I really support people bettering themselves in that way. Your kids will see what a strong mommy they have. I hope this has helped, being a mommy is REALLY hard work, not to mention school too?? I don't know how you are doing that and passing!! :) Please email me and let me know how you are doing. Now, go take a hot bath( one that lasts for more than 10 minutes) and sleep good tonight!

Casie (KC) - posted on 01/06/2010

3

20

0

ow my gosh! MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. I have depression that I off and on have delt with since high school, I went through a jelous relationship in high school and had post pardom depression after my first child so I somewhat relate to you. I feel for you but it sounds like your very strong religiously. You have to be to go through all of that. If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me. I'm a good listener. God bless.

Lisa - posted on 01/06/2010

2

6

0

"Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety" by Elyse Fitzpatrick is a great book that might help you with your inner struggles. Praying for you.

Martie - posted on 01/06/2010

44

6

5

Hello Jennifer,
First know that I am praying for you.
Second I would like you to know that there are different types of depression. One type of depression can be overcome by slowing down your life, getting into God's Word etc.
There is a second type of depression that is chemical. While doing the above things will help and are needed, in a chemical depression you need an antidepressant to give you the chemicals you need to overcome your depression.
Reasons: 1. Stress can alter your brain's function. Therefore no matter how hard you pray you will not get better. It is like having a thyroid deficiency. Another way of explaining it is this example. Suppose you run a full marathon which is 26 miles. At the end of the race you have depleted all your energy, adrenaline etc. Then someone comes up to you and says keep running. It is impossible. That is what stress and anger does to our bodies. So inorder to keep running you need some outside help to get you back to where you were before the marathon began.

Reason 2. Your kids need a functioning mother. This may sound harsh but I have been there. My oldest child who is now 28 can tell you the adverse effects that my depression had on him. Depression affects people differently. When I am depressed I get irritable and angry. One time when I was not on antidepressants I yelled at my son(he was 5) angrily for something small. The Lord opened my eyes and I saw that he was scared of me and didn't know how to handle it. The Lord showed me that I was damaging my own children because I was to proud to take meds and thought that good christians didn't need meds. That day I went back to the doctor.

I am not trying to scare you. Every person is different and has different degrees of depression. I am just trying to be realistic and give you my experience.

Reason 3. Depression can also be the symptom of other medical problems so it is good to have a physical. For example thyroid problems can have similar symptoms.

i find that a lot of doctors are not very good at prescribing anti-depressants. Some work for one person and not another one. Therefore, be diligant with your doctor if it is not working as you think it should. Anti-depressant are not addictive and will not work if that is not what your body needs.

Although I hate the name of this book it is very helpful. Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth. It is an old book but I think it has been updated. He gives a lot of practical eways to deal with depression.

God Bless You. If you would like to contact me: martiesalmans@hotmail.com

Nancy - posted on 01/06/2010

4

0

0

If at all possible please see a doctor about the anxiety and depression. Your body has been feeling this way for so long that your body has decided that this is how is is suppose to be. Your brain needs to readjust. With some people, especially if depression runs in your family, medicine is needed to nudge the brain back on path. I lived like you are talking about for 12 years before seeking help from anyone. You have done a brave, wonderful thing by reaching out, sharing, and asking others to pray for you. Being a Christian does not mean everything will be easy or painfree, but He is there for us to hold us through it. And, don't be afraid to get medical help.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2010

11

16

0

I am so thankful for all of you. Thank you. I just sit here and cry because I can feel God's breath of peace come over me as I read your comments. Today is the first day I've felt a little bit like my old self. I'm thinkin'...maybe I don't have to drop out of school and have myself committed after all, lol. God is answering prayers in big ways. I can't believe I feel like a person again. And so soon. I seriously was at a point a couple days ago where I just kept thinking...okay, my options are have my doctor admit me to a psych program or call down to the church and have someone come and help me function, because the thought of fixing my kids a meal was too much. I can't believe I feel human today. Thank God.
Guys pray that God will help me continue this transformation, pray that he will give me the strength to "pay it forward" so to speak. The pain of hitting rock bottom is so dark and painful but being lifted up out of the pit fills you with joy and energy that is unimaginable by someone who doesn't know Jesus. It is miraculous. I know this isn't the end of the fight, but it makes it feel like I can beat this and anything else that comes along. God bless all of you. A few words from strangers CAN change everything.

[deleted account]

Jennifer: Your thread jumped out at me because I too am having some anxiety. It is not due to this third pregnancy (although I am 35 & hoping I'm not too old haha) but because 2009 was a rough year all the way around and I'm still attempting to make amends regarding it. With my other two pregnancies I had no sadness or anxiety, so this is throwing me for a loop. My situation isn't a copy of yours, but I want to reiterate the importance of faith and the power in prayer. God has a plan; there are no accidents and usually we can't see what his plan is until it's in our "rearview mirror." Hindsight is 20-20, right? Never give up the good fight and never think you're alone; as you can see, you're not :-)

April - posted on 01/05/2010

6

17

1

Omg you poor baby..... as a mom wife and stepmother I def feel your pain. I know wht its like to lay in bed and not wanna move..sad to say I tried everything i had no businees trying. Finally I lost it an checked myself into the hospital. I'm not sure if the week i spent there completely healed me but it got me on the right track.

This is by no means the right option for everyone. But you def need to find a pastor or councelor u can personally confide in.

my email is carico726@yahoo.com we can email or talk on phone if u like people r here for you

Gini - posted on 01/05/2010

7

14

2

I went through a really rough stage with anxiety and depression about a year ago. surrounding yourself with loving Christian people truly helps, and having people to support you is the most helpful. I actually began to take meds for anxiety, and it has helped me tremendously. i dont know if you would care to involve a medical doctor, but it truly changed my life. I know many people who had the same problem as I, and they were also on the anxiety medication and seemed to have been truly thankful for it, and the progress it has helped them make. Although the meds are so helpful prayer and time with God is what can get your mind off of the bad things. As women, we over think things. the devil will also try to get into our minds to damage our relationships. you just have to remember it isnt you, its satan overpowering your thoughts. As long as you trust that God will keep directing you in the right way and push the fearful thoughts out of your mind, your anxiety will soon disappear!

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2010

2

20

0

just keep looking forward, it has to get better :) look at your babies and be thankful that youve been so blessed. live every day for that day and every moment to its fullest!

Tara - posted on 01/05/2010

5

24

0

I have been thru alot of the same things you have and know what this feels like. My ex- husband was in the military too. I also deal with anxiety and that is rough girl, sometimes you feel like you r dying and it takes so much out of you. I read a book by Joyce Myer called Be Anxious for Nothing and it has helped me so much. You need so badly to find a christian friend maybe at church or in your community to talk to and vent. If all else fails I keep a journal and it helps sometimes to write down your feelings. I will be praying for u please let me know how things r going cause i have been there and its no fun. Just remember God is still there and he will pull you out of this don't give up hope.

Danielle - posted on 01/04/2010

11

19

0

you are an amazing strong person to have gone through all that you have, yet still proclaim Christ as Lord. God wants to use your story as a testimony to those who dont know him yet. and people around are watching to see how someone with God as Lord, is able to come out victorious. God has the answers on how you can get through this. no matter how long it takes, purpose to do whatever you do His way. bring every negative thought into captivity. back to basics. concentrate on God as your priority, and reread proverbs 31, this woman didnt wait for permission, nor did she go against her husband. she did what God wanted her to do. find the creative alternative, stand firm in what God has called you to.
i have been married 19 years and i felt like l walked in darkness for 10 years, only seeing how hard my life was, before God was able to show me what l had to change in my life. only when l allowed God to humble me could l see the bigger picture. friends didnt see me as arrogant and thought l was mad when l shared where God wanted me to ask for forgiveness, the blessings that have come are true miracles. 6 years later, not everything is how it should be but its fun to watch God at work, all the time i ask God to give me grace so He can accomplish his work, through me, just putting up with the discomfort. my prayer for the last 6 years was peace in my family, God extended this to both mine and my husbands family! God Bless You and keep you safe in his arms.

Heather - posted on 01/04/2010

4,634

42

1135

Your right, you can't do it alone, but you don't have to. God is with you. You are crying out to him, and he is hearing you. I have posted the Scriptures that I turn to when I am stressed at the top of the conversation list. You can also come up with your own. I post them around my house and in my car so I am always surrounded by God's Word. It helps me. Also, as you can see there are many moms here that would love to help you out. Let me know if there is anything I can ever help you with. I will be praying for you. Keep looking to God.

Nichole - posted on 01/04/2010

51

63

2

Hahaha, after reading everybody's response, we're all thinking alike!! P.S. All you women in this chat are awesome, by the way. :)

Nichole - posted on 01/04/2010

51

63

2

Hi! I don't have nearly enough friends either, same boat!! So I'm Nikki, frustrated mom too, and my e-mail address is nichole.hutchinson@hotmail.com. And my facebook is under Nichole Belyus-Hutchinson, and I'm sending u a friend request. And I'm not a wierdo. (Well, I don't agree when they tell me I am, anyway.) :) TTYL!

Anne - posted on 01/04/2010

2,759

82

625

I too will keep you in my Prayers. I also wanted to asked if you are getting enough rest, and out of doors exercise? Even 10 minutes a day of sunshine can help tremendously. If this is not helping have you talked to a Health Professional.

Celicia - posted on 01/04/2010

74

5

3

First, BREATHE! I know it sounds silly, but take a deep breath. Now, think on this really hard, and don't just read it....GOD IS ENOUGH.....Engrave that into your mind. I know that sometimes it's hard to think of God as fully in control when we go through so many hardships, but He is. He allows us to be tested. Look at Job, great example. His whole world crashed down before him and he still praised God. Now, I don't know about you, but I know I personally don't have the faith and walk of Job, but I find peace in the fact that God knows what He is doing. You see things finally coming back together, so rejoice in them. Try not to dwell on all the energy you've wasted on these personal battles. Now, life is being blessed again because you have been taking the right steps back to God. The Love Dare is an awesome tool, and that shows a commitment to God. So, I will be praying, and you can contact me anytime. I'm a stay-at-home mom with pretty much a day filled with playing with my daughter but I can always make room to talk. So, if you ever need anything, let me know. I hope God will give you the strength and clarity you need to get through this. GOD BLESS!

Jennifer - posted on 01/04/2010

11

16

0

Thank you everyone for your support. Its exactly what I need POSITIVE support makes all the difference. God knows that and thats why He made me feel compelled to poor out my heart to strangers. I just have to keep up the momentum. I have to learn to concentrate on good things in the face of trials. For someone who has suffered from severe anxiety as long as I have you'd think I'd learn the techniques they have taught me to divert my attention from the situation but unfortunately I've never had success with that. Maybe that is something God is trying to cultivate in me. Please pray really hard for me. I want to enjoy my blessings. Pray that I will have the strength to look up from my problems and physical exhaustion to see that I have far more to be greatful for.

Also, having everyone respond really makes me feel cared about. For a long time I have felt unloved and like no one cares enough about me to bother, because 95% of the time my friends have been unsupportive and not been there for me with the exception of my friend Shirley who works all the time and my friend Ang who's out of state and working on doctoral degree. I am in serious need of some unconditional love right now. Big time! Thanks ladies!

Shannon - posted on 01/03/2010

8

36

0

I will be praying for you. I was in a bad place in my life and didnt think i could get out. I started going to church ,I meet some people there that got me threw things and still helping me today. Just keep on praying.Let me know if you need someone to talk to.Remember you are loved.God Bless!

Amy - posted on 01/03/2010

725

163

151

I will keep you and everyone in my prayers. I will send you an email and we can keep in touch. I was verbally and mentally abused. I can tell you stories. My husband also had a harder life then me. Please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. God is carring you through all this and understands. I live in West Reading PA. Where do you live? If you live near me maybe we can get together and talk. Have a blessed day.

Haley - posted on 01/03/2010

105

21

11

i want u to write me at my email. u can get through this. i did. i only have one but believe me i can help u. my husband was an indifferent emotionally abusive person. he's changed. but that broke me down. i used to cook clean care for my daughter, and be the perfect wife. he literally killed all of that in me. it took about nine months to work through but i did it. during those nine months i made so many mistakes that i dont want u to make. so e-mail me and we can talk more. my email is angeleyes7hsh@aol.com your not alone. :)

[deleted account]

My heart goes out to you. You just have to keep believeing. I myself have had a lot of hard times to go through in my life. I used to feel like I had noone in the world to turn to. When I was a teenager I would let any one use me and abuse me just so that I could get some attention. I started praying for God to help me and deliver me. I was addicted to drugs and my life couldn't have gotten much worse. Finally after living with an abusive boyfriend that was running around on me in front of my face I decided I couldn't take it any more and moved in with a neighbor. I got a job and then I met a man that later became my husband and we have now been married for over 5 years. We at first had a small drug habit , but one day we gave our life to the lord. Now we no longer use drugs. We have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and i feel blessed. My life is far from perfect in fact I sound like every thing is perfect, but in reality I just had a miscarriage last night it was horrific to say the least. But having the baptism of the holy spirit in my life has given me such peace even though every ounce of me wanted this baby. So I guess my point in telling you all of this is to encourage you. God does listen. I had to pray and seek God truly for a while before he got me off the streets and away from the abusive relationship in the past. God had to lead me through many leasons in life to teach me that i am worth so much more than that. And you are too. There was a time when I couldn't even look in the mirror I could only cry out to God for his strength and as long as you keep your faith and keep seeking him than you can and will perservere.

Just wake up in the morning and refuse to let the devil put you down. That is his whole purpose is to get us so focused on the problemsin our own life that we can't even concentrate on the good. Rebuke the devil in Jesus' name. And start speaking out loud all the blessings in your life. Even the small things. What ever it may be. Praise God in all you do whether it be house work or raising your family and even in the trials. Remember God allows trials to bring us closer to him. God Bless You. I'm praying for you and wishing you the best just remember to concentrate on all the good things and if you refuse the devil he must flee in Jesus' precious name.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms