son behavior

Patty - posted on 01/12/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Just want advice on how to deal with my 11 year old son better.Hes in the stage he is growing up and he just seem very angry,doesnt want to conversate with me about school just how his day has been and so forth.Is he getting bullied or is it a part of growing up? I see he has a little anger problem that i do plan on taking him to a counsler in the future, but when i speak with him about going to see a counsler he get angry.Weve started going to church and he really likes it and i know this too will pass and i want result right away.Maybe he feels tired because of tutoring he does sleep alot,and that why he is so angry?Im not sure i just want to get throu to him and i feel he doesnt let me,because the walls hes building up.Im not trying to be his friend but his mother what am i doing wrong?

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Rebekah - posted on 01/22/2011

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First off, don't blame yourself. Second, take this issue and cover it in prayer. You want answers to your son's anger issue, go to the Father in Heaven that knows every heart and ask Him to reveal it to You. He will do it. He specifically tells us to "ask and You will receive". Take your heart to God and tell Him, "God, my son is angry and I don't know how to reach him, I feel blocked, I feel pushed out, I feel he has walls, I'm asking for Your wisdom, please reveal the root of his anger." Then just wait with expectation, the answer will come. :)

Desarae - posted on 01/22/2011

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When I was 11, I was going through a lot, and I was angry all the time. As a mom, I know all we want to do it help our children, by any means necessary. To a teenager, that "helping" can be worse. If he doesn't want to talk to you about what's going on, then you need to be okay with that. Let him know you love him, with things like leaving a shirt he would like or new DVD on his bed when he comes home from school. Let him have friends over, try to become involved with any of his intrests. He might just be angry, because he feels like he is different.

Carla - posted on 01/12/2011

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11 is about the time they start going through puberty and the I-know-it-all phase. Parents are a pain, so is school except the friends they see there, etc.

If he speaks to you angrily, tell him very firmly you will not tolerate that kind of disrespect from him, and if he can't speak nicely, don't speak; if he wants to discuss why he's angry, go to his room and calm down, then come out and talk. Going to a counselor isn't necessarily indicated here, unless there is something going on that you DO know about. He's tired because his body is growing and changing, the hormones are kickin' in. (Oh boy!) If he likes the church, and if his behavior gets worse, talk to the teen leader at the church. Handling this in a Godly way is the key. Find all the Scriptures you can find about children honoring their parents and growing into a responsible godly person. But make sure you are conducting yourself as a Godly mother. This may be a good time to bone up on what your responsibilities are to him! Where is Dad in this picture? He should be telling his son about how Christian men treat the women in their family. He should also be setting a Godly role, by honoring you and treating you with respect and honor as well.

Being a parent of a tween is difficult! Pray hard, love him hard and he will become a man you will be proud to call yours!

God bless, honey

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