spanking.

Kelly - posted on 02/25/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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As Christian Mothers what are your opinions on giving your child a spank on the bottom as a form of discipline?

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MeriBeth - posted on 02/26/2009

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I am the mom of soon-to-be-six boys....I spank....often. But it is NOT something that should be done in anger or in an uncontrolled environment.



God disciplines us BECAUSE he loves us....and I don't know about you but I have had a few times in my life when God has needed to "spank" me because I just wasn't obeying.



I would suggest you read the book "Sheparding A child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I would also suggest----no, insist on talking with your husband to make sure that you both agree on how to handle things so that one isn't over reacting-----but so that you are both in agree ment and are able to use checks and balances for each other......if he's too angry, you step in and send the child to a corner until he has cooled down and he does the same for you.



At any rate, I think spanking does have a place.....God is not always kind and gentle.....he did bring down his judgment several times through out the old testament.....and Being covered by Grace through what Christ did for us doesn't mean that are not subject to discipline and reproof.....in fact, as believers it holds us more accountable.



Obedience is required from us by God....and we require obedience from our kids because we want them to learn to obey God.



Anyway, continue to pray and seek God's face for your family.....you will find what works, just remember to pray for God's leading in how to deal with each individual child as somethings will work great for one.....but not for the other.



Many Blessings to you and your family



 



 

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Jamie - posted on 03/06/2009

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I believe that spanking is not an issue if used properly. Spanking should never been done in anger to relieveyour frustrations. I have and do spank all 3 of my children from time to time. After the spanking I always hug them and sit them on my lap to talk about why they received that discipline. They know that I do not enjoy spankin them and that I love them very much. I think that's what matters. Don't you?

[deleted account]

You should look at ALL the posts under "Reading responses to tantrums and wondering what happened to spanking" or something like that. TON'S of women posted stuff and there are TON'S of scriptures posted. Just be careful, there's good advice and bad advice, but I would pay attention to the scriptures - scripture should be the first place we go with any questions!

Libby - posted on 03/01/2009

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Here's a GREAT book to read on the subject!!! It's a quick read and funny too!! :) If you've ever heard of Tedd Tripp, it's based off of his concept of shepherding your child's heart. The book is by Ginger Plowman and called "Don't Make me Count to Three!" It talks about appropriate and inappropriate times for spanking as well as other discipline issues. It really helped me figure a lot of this stuff out--since really, our take on training our children is so much different from the world's! Here's the amazon.com link: http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Make-Count-Th...

Really, it's worth it!!!

Kiera - posted on 02/28/2009

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ALL three of my kids have been spanked on several occasions!!
Go to your Bible and read: Proverbs 23:13-14

I do believe that the permissive attitudes many mommies (and daddies) have, not because they don't care, but because they are afraid of disciplining their kids, has allowed 'our children' to become the little rebels that they are...

The lack of discipline has basically mis-prepared them for LIFE!

I agree with Michelle, too -- I wouldn't use it as the only discipline - but we have clear-cut rules in this house -- you do {this} and {this} is your punishment... they know what it is and often I only have to threaten the "spanking" and that does it. I am not here to be my kids' friend (although I do appreciate their affection!! They're such huggers!!).... I am here to *teach them* how the world works and to follow in our Father's example as well as humanly capable... and because "life isn't fair" all the time (we learn that it seldom is, but I'm not ready to teach THAT lesson just yet!) they have to understand that what happens in this house is not always what they think is fair.

I will say that following any and all spankings, there is a time when they sit in their room(s) for a few minutes before I go in and sit down with them and ask "Do you know why you got a spanking?" If they don't know right off the bat, they get a little lecture, but usually they know right away and explain to me what they did and why it was wrong... They are 4.5, 3.5 and just turned two... The two year old is not great at this, but I've started sitting down with him and asking him these questions, because I want him to start recognizing what he did wrong so the apology can be properly and honestly applied to the right person at the right time...

Child-psychology is tricky... and those little spongy-brains absorb anything they see, hear or experience... be picky about what they see & be sure the discipline is Biblical and with loving intentions...

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2009

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Hebrews 12: 8-11"If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.





Somer - posted on 02/28/2009

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Proverbs 13:24- He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. I spank my little girl and she is a pretty good kid, I think. She has her moments just like every other child. And that is why she needs spankings. My mom spanked me and I turned out alright.

[deleted account]

Quoting Kelly:

spanking.

As Christian Mothers what are your opinions on giving your child a spank on the bottom as a form of discipline?



Haha are you worried about that? I dont think that a light spank could hurt your child and simply sometimes is more then walcome...(considering off course mildness)



Children know more then they show  us and understand pretty good that spank is a kind of signal that tells them they do something inadequate and sometimes a child wants to see how far it can go...so every parent must show a margin to a child-(no to be missunderstood-)i dont support hurtle and any kind of physical maltreatment, but slow-easy and stylized touch of sweet lill bottom won`t make your child suffer:)))

April - posted on 02/27/2009

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I think Dr. Dobson's books are great reading, and he is very reasonable and honest in his ideas on loving discipline. He has a great website, too.

Beverly - posted on 02/27/2009

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I think that spanking is acceptable if you are in control of your emotions and you explain it to the child first and they know the reason behind the punishment.  And it's important to give hugs and discussion afterward.  I agree with Dr. Dobson's view (from Family Life) and more importantly the Bible which I think has a scripture in Proverbs about if you punsh your child with the rod he surely will not die. I think , on the other hand,it's totally wrong for a parent to become enraged, lose control, and yank a child up and just start spanking out of anger. The major importance is controlling your emotions, because just as much damage can be done verbally, with or without a spanking.

Sondra - posted on 02/27/2009

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There is nothing wrong with spanking aslong as it not to harm or truly hurt your child.  Sometimes as mom's with all the days stresses when we go to spank, sometimes our spank might be harder than wanted.  My mom gave me some great advice that my peditrican told her.  Cause our level of frustration might be high and the hit too hard, use a flick....with your fingers.  No matter how mad or frustrated you are you can't hurt someone with a flick.  We use that now and Our son absolutely hates it.  When he is acting up all we say is "Do you want a flick"  most of the time the behavior stops.  We do still spank but very rarely.  Proverbs 3: 11 & 12 talks of discipline.  Remember talk with God and do what you feel  is right.

Kelly - posted on 02/27/2009

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Thank You everyone for your responses. My Daughter is very well behaved and have only had to spank her on the bottom a few times through-out her 4 years of life (which I think is great). I don't use it when I'm angry but I've used it as a last resort because it seemed at the time every other method I was using didn't work.



I am now trying to lead a Christian life and want to do the right thing, that is why I posted this up.My daughters just started to show a lot more attitude and is getting into a bit more trouble then usually, I believe it's because my partner has moved back to the USA and I have a 10 week old so she's testing the waters a lot more. In my heart I do not want to have to spank her but at the moment I'm feeling like I have no other option and thinking maybe ONE spank on the bottom will let her know 'Mummy is keeping an eye on me and she's serious even though Daddy isn't here' . You are all right, I should pray about this one and see what He says.  Gosh it makes your job 10 times harder when you're on your own.

Shelly - posted on 02/26/2009

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Oh Kelly Anne,



  Have you just opened another can of worms, this is a very touchy subject on this site you need to decide that one between you, your hubby and the Lord go to the Bible and really study it because you will really get alot of opinions on this site about spanking.  This a very personal choice and what ever choice you make it has to be yours, your husbands and the Lords do not let anyone guilt or talk you out of what ever it is the Lord leads you to do...Sorry but this is the best advice I can give you on this subject.  I will be praying that the Lord will give you a clear message on this subject matter.  

Melissa - posted on 02/26/2009

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I have thought about it often at times it feels like it is the only thing that might work, but ultimately God is Love and Love is Gentle and Patient. There are always other alternatives that are loving and patient. My friend spanks her kids and that works for her and she is Ok with it and I am fine with it. Everyone needs to do what is best for them. Pray about and You will get the right answer, you have to be comfortable with whatever ways you choose to discipline your child.

Brooke - posted on 02/26/2009

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I agree with Michelle, I have no problems with spanking as long as its done in the right frame of mind.  If you have a cool head on your shoulders and not an angry one you have a better chance of teaching your child that what they did was wrong instead of showing aggression and that you are mad at them.  Cause if you go at it angry your child will focus on the fact that you are mad and hitting them rather than Oops i messed up and Im getting a spanking.  Plus if you go at it with a cool head it wont get out of hand.  And there is a huge line between spanking and hitting and I think that people should mind their own business unless it gets out of hand and its actually abuse like full on slapping and punching.  Most of the time a time out or a stern no does the trick. 

Michelle - posted on 02/26/2009

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I think that there are specific situations that call for it.  I don't think it should be used as an only discipline tatic but I am not against it.  My older kids get spankings when necessary, other times they get grounded or sent to their rooms or items taken away (i.e. gameboy, cd player, etc) 



Let me give you an example of when I believe spankng to be necessary.  My oldest son is about two yrs older than his brother and one day he let his brother out the front door b/c he didn't want him to play in his bedroom.  He was 4yrs old at the time and his brother hadn't turned two just yet.  My little one was in the middle of the road and at that time we lived on a very busy street.  I heard a knock on the door and it was someone bringing the baby up and asking if this was where he lived.  I didn't even know he was outside.  I called all the kids into the living room to find out who let him outside and my 4yr old confessed.  He got a spanking b/c I wanted him to learn never to do it again and I also talked to him about how dangerous it was for him to let his little brother out like that.  He has never done anything like that again, so in my book that's a "lesson learned".



 

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