Spanking poll. Not a debate

Merry - posted on 11/08/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )

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WHere do you as a Christian fall on the spank-o-meter?

1- never spank my kids

2- only spank under extreme or dangerous situations like kid running into traffic, touching a stove burner, etc and only use a flat palm

3- spank here and there for specific offenses like outright acts of disrespect or lying or cheating,
3a- open palm only
3b- use a tool, please specify

4- spank frequently, monthly, or more for regular offenses
4a- open palm
4b- use a tool please specify

Also, do you have age limitations on spankings? Under two years? 2-4? 4-12? Older?

Lastly, what denomination of Christian are you?

Again, this is a hot topic, but we aren't debating here, just expanding our knowledge of how other Christians view spanking for their familes.

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Rebekah - posted on 11/09/2011

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1 in my house, NOW! Recently changed my views on this.

Non-Denominational Charismatic

We changed our views on this topic after full research into the Bible on this subject. And the discipline in our house changed drastically.

I grew up in a home that spanking was administered, it stopped when I got older. Now, I was NEVER beat, nor did I ever have a bad experience with spanking. So, that's not why I don't spank in my home.

We actually started out spanking our son, but my son also likes to mention at his day care that he gets "smacked" which lead to many talks and concerns from the center. So, I had nothing left to do but pray about this topic and God lead me to SOOOO many different verses and the real meaning behind them and I've had an eye opening experience and have realized that spanking is not Biblical by any means... I'm not here to debate this topic. I truly understand if you spank in your home - been there, done it, and I have no issues if you do. But truth enlightened our home and discipline methods have changed drastically and they are working!!!

Angela - posted on 11/10/2011

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I don't like spanking at all and I was hit regularly as a child. Much to my shame however, I DID spank my own children. Probably through having grown up with a poor example of parenting. Not usually with a weapon, just my open hand.



Didn't spank beyond the age of 10 as my 3 oldest children are boys and didn't want to be attacked back from someone younger and stronger than me! I think my oldest boy got smacked the most. I don't think my youngest 2 children were smacked very much at all.



If I had my time over again I would not spank/smack at all.



I attend a Church Of England Church but regard myself as non-denominational.



Physical violence as discipline was regularly used in conjunction with other methods anyway by my father. It was never a question of smacking versus other discipline methods. We got smacked everytime and usually deprived of some privelege, publicly shamed in front of others, pocket money stopped, social life curtailed, nasty jobs to do etc .... as well.

[deleted account]

Somewhere between 2 and 3 (a)... w/ a touch of 1 (more leaning towards one though). ;)

Can't answer age limit at the moment. Non denominational.

Joy - posted on 11/09/2011

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I have a 2 year old and am #1 so far. I could see #2, but am trying very hard not to do that.

I have a few reasons for it. My parents did spank me -only when I lied, but as I grew up I found ways to shade the truth so they couldn't find out and it became more of a game for me to see what I could get away with. As I've grown in my faith, I do not see that as a healthy thing to do but I also understand I do it out of rebellion to the discipline and 'bully' figures. I believe that children are taught about God through how we parent as we are the first authority figure they recognize in their young lives. I don't want my daughter following in all of my footsteps so have been actively reading and teaching myself different parenting methods.

I'm also trying to teach her to use words and not hit or use physical violence when trying to get her point across so I try to model those behaviors I want her to do. My discipline tends to be to hug her when she's fighting me, to remove her from the situation or to talk her through it (as much as a 2 year old can be talked through it.)

I am currently enjoying a Bible Church - although I've also attended Lutheran, Methodist and Presbyterian churches through my childhood & college years. I wasn't sure what the denomination had to do with it because I am not a 'member' of my church so I wrote in the above explanation of why I chose #1.

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Aisha - posted on 11/24/2011

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3: a - for my 5-year-old, b (belt) for my 12-year-old...but I hardly ever have to. I can't remember the last time my 12-year-old got one.

Keri - posted on 11/22/2011

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#2, and #3a and b, we use a rod, be that a wooden spoon, or paddle, or whatever is handy but its usually a wooden spoon. Age limits usually until it no longer phases the kid, I do have a VERY defiant child, that the rod sometimes does not phase simply to be defiant, though sometimes it works...depends on her mood lol She is 7. I think for my oldest we pretty much havent used it since she was about 9 or 10. I havent had to use it on my 9 yr old since she was about 7. So it really depends on the child. Non- Denominational Born-Again Christian

Teresa - posted on 11/18/2011

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We used to spank at least once a week but now it isn't necessary. H eknows by our tone and look and probabky body language that we mean business. Also, he has more that can be taken away like, camping with cub scouts, seeing best friend, DSi, etc.

Jewel - posted on 11/18/2011

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4......... My 3 year old is always getting spankings.... I have other children 13 and 11. I don't spank them anymore. I think by 5th grade it should stop, but each child is different.

Church of God in Christ (Pentecostal)

Tiffany - posted on 11/09/2011

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I spank in extreme situations with my older children, My two year old, I had to spank twice with a diaper on. I give him a choice...You can either....or get a spanking....this works with him but twice I had to follow through on my choices to make them effective. My older ones (8 & 10) get a spanking probably once every 6 months just to remind them that we mean business and its not an empty threat. It works...I am non denominational.

Jodie - posted on 11/09/2011

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4a, but leaning more towards 3a as my daughter is gaining a better understanding of whether or not what she's doing is wrong. She gets more scoldings nowadays. She is in the 2-4 range. My infant will start getting taps on the hand in the near future. I was raised Baptist, my husband Pentecostal. We like to think we are non-denominational.

Jessica - posted on 11/08/2011

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Hi there! I would be a 1. This was something that was decided before my husband and I got married. My husband is against but I think that in a consistent and appropriate manner spanking can be effective. I was a pre-school teacher and I learned several ways of displining children and it being effective. ( we were obviously not allowed to touch a child in any negative way) My daughter is almost two and understands time-out and not being to have/get something because of her behavior.Being consistent and having both parents on the same page is SO important. My husband and I still talk about displine and what deserves time-out and what just needs to be explained. :)

We are Pentecostal.

Merry - posted on 11/08/2011

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Hi Kelly :) it might be a local term but what do you mean by 'minding'?

Kelly - posted on 11/08/2011

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I am 3a and 4a. I have a paddle, but have not used it. My kids are 6 and 8, and my 8-year-old got spankings when she was 2 for not minding. Now she gets spankings for talking back and not minding. My 6-year-old gets spankings when he doesn't mind. We are baptist.

Chelly - posted on 11/08/2011

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#1
We have one nearly 3 year old and one on the way. Spanking doesn't work with our daughter so we only use time outs which work very well. My christian friend took away her daughters dresses when she misbehaved and that worked great for her. So I think it really depends on the child.

Messianic

Victoria - posted on 11/08/2011

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When the kids were younger it was more frequent, but now they are of an age of more understanding it's less frequent as grounding to their rooms and confiscating their stuff works very well now. I guess 3a &b depending on the act.
When 3b, it's usually a plastic spatula.

Age... we'll see, my oldest is 9 and she rarely gets spanked these days, but still does for certain blatant acts of rebellion.
Probably Jr high, so 11 yrs old.

We are Born-Again Christian belonging to a Denomination called Word of God Assemblies. My husband & I are both Pastors.

Katrina - posted on 11/08/2011

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When the girls were really little (under 2yo) they would get a slight smack on the hand more regularly because I found reasoning/talking to them didn't work. (so #4a)

Now they are older (3 and almost 5yo) they can understand my oral remonstrations and general "telling off" as well as the reasons behind it. If they do not mind what I am saying, for a first time offence, they get time out. If they continue to ignore my directives, then I get them to come to me, tell me what they did that was naughty, why it was naughty. They then get a single smack on an outstretched hand, with an open palm. (so #3a).

I will stop smacking once the girls are of an age/maturity that they no longer need them. It may be 8, it may be older. (or until I can confiscate their stuff) :)

I was raised Baptist, but prefer to steer clear of "denomination" preferring to say that I am a follower of Christ :)

Merry - posted on 11/08/2011

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I've had too many people saying hat Christians as a whole are 'all spankers' that God commanded us to hit our kids so they say Christianity is against human rights. I know many Christians who use spankings effectively and without injury to the child's body or mind but I also know some who IMO take it way too far. Personally I don't spank, so I was wondering about the amount of Christians who don't, do, etc

Anne - posted on 11/08/2011

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Hi I was a 2 and 3. On VERY RARE OCCASIONS I would use a wooden spoon. ONE SWAT ON A COVERED BOTTOM. I did not spank nor did my husband after our girls were about 8. (THey are now 23 and 27). The wooden spoon was ONY USED FROM ABOUT 5 to 6 years of age.

We are Nazarene.

Just out of curiosity why take a poll on this subject?

Carla - posted on 11/08/2011

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Okay, will try to answer in order:

I guess I was #2 and #3 with my children. I don't remember spanking them after they were, say 10 y/o. However, with my grandchildren, we are finding the Naughty Chair works very well with them, so we use this method. I NEVER used a tool, and usually it was just a swat on the behind.

I am Pentecostal.

God bless, honey, hope you get a good sampling from our good women here.

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