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Standing up to bullies

Andrea - posted on 05/02/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My little girl is almost 22 months old and my son just turned 3 a week ago. We were at a McDonald's play land and a big boy (8 or 9 about 80lbs) was being a bully to my son. He "chased" him out of the playground and set himself up in front of the entrance and would not let him pass. My son came to me (I was ordering the food) and said "mom that boy is scaring me." I told him it will be OK I would take him in in a minute. He walked back over and the boy crossed his arms and stood in the middle of the entrance so he couldn't get past and gave him a look that clearly said he wasn't going to let him in. My daughter Who had been standing with me got a stern look on her face and walked over (about 20 ft) to the boy. She smacked at him (hit his hip) and said "NO." The boy actually got a look of surprise on his face and backed down letting them both go in and play.
My husband says I should have corrected her and told her not to hit - but I was more proud of her for defending her brother and not backing down to a bully than worried about her hitting. It wasn't like she punched him she just smacked him on the hip and I know it didn't hurt him, just let him know she wasn't scared of him. I didn't praise her or anything since I was waiting for the food and they went in to play. We usually correct them when they hit or attempt to hit but this time I let it slide - what would you have done?

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Rebekah - posted on 05/07/2012

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At 22 months of age, I don't think she would of been able to use "words" with an 8/9 year old, to me I would of had to hold back laughter, but I would of been proud too. I wouldn't worry about talking with my little girl, she obviously understood the scenario enough to realize that the bully was in the wrong and she wanted him to know it. As she gets older, I would definitely help her find other ways to handle bullies. But I also don't believe God wants us to be a doormat... I believe like they teach in karate, don't start or instigate a fight, but if it's your only choice then fight - and I will definitely be teaching my son to call on the angels of heaven for protection, for the wars won in battle by the Israelites when they obeyed God were won by God, they never really had to raise a sword - just follow directions. You have to learn how to stand up too!

Angela - posted on 05/04/2012

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I think your daughter did the right thing.

I hope her brother will also be able to learn to treat bullies the same way!

There are 2 reasons that bullies bully - one is that they are usually bigger, stronger or more powerful in some way than those they're bullying. The second reason is that they will happily continue bullying whilst they're unchallenged. Your daughter challenged him. He's now decided it's safer not to tangle with YOUR kids.

Nice one, little girl!

Michele - posted on 05/02/2012

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I would let it slide also. It's not like you hit him or someone bigger than he was.

Anne - posted on 05/02/2012

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Oh my I got the"sweetest" vision of this happening. Like Carla I woul have had to choke down a laugh also. I also agree with the rest of the advice Carla gave you. I also think I would have spoken to the Manager about maybe more employe involvement in the play area. At our McDonalds the employees go through the area at least twice an hour (at least that is what I have noticed) I have even seen them reminding the older children to play nice an, let them know ifw they are too tall for certain Play Areas. Hope any of this helped.

Carla - posted on 05/02/2012

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You mean what would I have done AFTER I had to turn around to hide my laughter? ;)

Sissy's gonna be a presence to be reckoned with, you can tell that already! Bullying is never acceptable, and hitting isn't acceptable, either---HOWEVER, we have to live in this world, and I do not believe God expects us to let others bully our loved ones. There are quantifiers to this--should we carry guns around and shoot people to defend them? Certainly not! Should we walk around looking for a fight? Certainly not! But sometimes we just have to stand up for the right. Sissy did that.

Have a little talk with her, and tell her that hitting isn't the way we normally handle something, we use words, etc. It sounds like she is a smart cookie and will understand this concept.

God bless, honey, I think you are going to have one interesting life ;)

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