M. Rose - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )
I would love some advice from any sahms or previous sahms. I just have so much trouble balancing my time, cleaning, cooking, organizing, playing w/my kids, resting. I am at home, and everyone says its a blessing but I wonder a lot about it.. we are on medicaid and wic and still have a hard time financially. I desire a house but I know its in the Lord's timing. We only have one car so most days we can't go anywhere. my 1st son had colic for the first 8 mos, which drove me crazy - literally found myself screaming at him and crying thru the days. I wanted to go back to work mostly because of it. I prayed and weighed the financial options of daycare and other expenses. after 4 months or so I felt that it wasn't God's best for me and then I found out I was pregnant again.
Mentally i'm not depressed like I was for over a year but now we have 2 kids and I just don't LOVE being home, I don't have this overwhelming gratefulness to be a mom or at home. I honestly don't think a job will solve my mindest. I tire of doing things with my son, trying to find new things all the time, most of which he doesn't like to do (he's 2), changing diapers, being interrupted, disciplining, trying to find the balance of cleaning and resting when he is sleep, I'm just irritated and wish I was more prepared for this part of my life.
I have sought out a mentor at church more than once without success. There are a lot of other sahms, most are homeschooling but they can't help like someone w/o young ones (plus they are more busy w/schooling). They do give advice, which I'd be completely lost w/o, but how do I stop disliking my job? I do pray to love being a mother and to love my children.