Natalia - posted on 07/08/2012 ( 45 moms have responded )
I have a inner conflict about staying home and raising my children, loving and supporting my husband and serving my church and community vs. working outside of the home full-time.
My husband is supportive of me being home but the reality is we are struggling financially. We do not pay rent or utilities and still manage to live paycheck to paycheck. We have down-sized tremendously even relocated to a small town but things are still tight; no "extra's, we rarely buy clothes, I do my own hair, we don't do trips or even outtings that cost money, I rarely go outside of our town because of gas,
When we talk about me going back to work the cost of childcare would eat up any amount of money I would make. So I try to consider working a shift where one of us would be home with the kids but then we may not see each other.
We aren't starving, we have clothes on our backs, we enjoy each other as a family but we do not want to stay in the area we are staying, hubby has a daily 2 hour commute and I am isolated. I have a business that I do, but I can only take on a few clients a month and the money isn't consistent enough to rely on financially. In order to make it a potential consistent income provider I would need to complete some certifications which costs $$$.
When I worked I always felt like I should be home, and when I am home I want to be home but worried that I should be working and that my decision to be home is keeping our family in a situation that no one is happy with.
This probably seems like a no brainer...go get a job, put the kids in daycare, pay off your debt and get in a position to move to where you want to move. This inner conflict is exhausting and takes away the joy from either decision. I feel like I am not 100% focused and fulfilling everything I should be doing with the kids while I am home with them.
Any one been here?