Submission---Not A Dirty Word

Angela - posted on 06/01/2009

I have found that when I am where I am suppose to be in my relationship w/ Christ, it's so much easier to be the submissive wife. SOmething I have noticed---- When I am submissive & loving to my husband, he seeks my opinion & advice more!! Something else--- This attitude has allowed my husband to have SOOOO much more confidence in his leadership role, both as a husband & a daddy!! He knows I will support him & has the confidence to lead us! I was not always this way, in the beginning of our marriage I gave him such a hard time & took this confidence from him. Now I can really really see the difference!!
Almost like God really knows what he is doing, huh, guys?!!! (haha)

Carolee - posted on 05/31/2009

Hello Annette! My name is Carolee. I Love being Submitted ( by choice ) through wisdom.
Being submitted to a God loving, wisdom pursuing, vision filled husband brings so many wonderful rewards to my life. Submitting to a ( wise awesome man) is only for the vision filled, mighty, strong, wise women :D

Annette - posted on 05/31/2009

Quoting Tam:

Thanks! Just checked and none of our library branches have it so think I'll have hubby look it up on Amazon for me. :)

You can go to Nancy's website and get them.

www.reviveourhearts.com

Tam - posted on 05/30/2009

Thanks! Just checked and none of our library branches have it so think I'll have hubby look it up on Amazon for me. :)

Annette - posted on 05/30/2009

"BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD IN THE HOME" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, next I'm going to read "LIES WOMEN BELIEVE" also by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Tam - posted on 05/30/2009

Oh, what is the name of the book you're reading? :) Might have to check it out.

Annette - posted on 05/30/2009

Quoting Tam:

Annette, there is an incredible book that deals with this topic and how the world has made "submission" to our husbands a bad thing. It deals with the entire feminist movement and how it's crept into the church's thinking as well. The book is called Passionate Housewives-Desperate for God.

Here's a link for it...http://www.passionatehousewives.blogspot...

It also covers the topics of the important of SAHMs for those who have been "put down" for choosing family over careers--making those women feel like they've stepped back in time instead of forward. I would like to state here and now some of those women had it way worse than any of us. There men would be gone to war and they not only had to keep households running they had to be able to manage the people under their care, defend the homestead and feed the baby within a moment's notice. They did the work of the home and the fields. They were strong women to be admired. If they are examples of "submissive SAHMs" then they are awesome examples. :)

Granted, the world would conveniently also forget the next verse which states that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV)...meaning that husbands should love their wives so much they would be willing to lay down their lives for their wives. That is agape love in a great way.

One interesting thing in that book I mentioned is an example of a woman who attended a conference for this and asked the author about submitting to her husband. If I remember the story correctly, she was under a conviction and confronted the author stating that a pastor or elder (sorry, can't remember which) told her that she only had to submit to her husband when he was loving to her as commanded. The author then turned it around to the young lady and asked her if that meant that her husband had to only love her when she was submissive to him. ... Thankfully that young lady was open to Godly instruction and the Holy Spirit opened her heart and mind to the Lord's direction.

Thank you Tam,

I will most definitely check out the links that you posted. I'm reading so really good Nancy Leigh DeMoss books that are defining the real role of women in the home. I've gotten to the part were it talks about submission, so that's why I posted my question. To see how other women viewed and understood what it meant to submit. A better word than submit, would be "yield." We all yield to someone in our lives. The most important person we need to learn to yield to is God.

Anyway, thank you for the informtion,

Tam - posted on 05/29/2009

Here is a website run by one of the women who wrote that book.

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/


And here is a great blog article on the topic of the roles of men and women in marriage...

http://ccostello.blogspot.com/2007/05/th...

Tam - posted on 05/29/2009

Annette, there is an incredible book that deals with this topic and how the world has made "submission" to our husbands a bad thing. It deals with the entire feminist movement and how it's crept into the church's thinking as well. The book is called Passionate Housewives-Desperate for God.

Here's a link for it...http://www.passionatehousewives.blogspot...

It also covers the topics of the important of SAHMs for those who have been "put down" for choosing family over careers--making those women feel like they've stepped back in time instead of forward. I would like to state here and now some of those women had it way worse than any of us. There men would be gone to war and they not only had to keep households running they had to be able to manage the people under their care, defend the homestead and feed the baby within a moment's notice. They did the work of the home and the fields. They were strong women to be admired. If they are examples of "submissive SAHMs" then they are awesome examples. :)

Granted, the world would conveniently also forget the next verse which states that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV)...meaning that husbands should love their wives so much they would be willing to lay down their lives for their wives. That is agape love in a great way.

One interesting thing in that book I mentioned is an example of a woman who attended a conference for this and asked the author about submitting to her husband. If I remember the story correctly, she was under a conviction and confronted the author stating that a pastor or elder (sorry, can't remember which) told her that she only had to submit to her husband when he was loving to her as commanded. The author then turned it around to the young lady and asked her if that meant that her husband had to only love her when she was submissive to him. ... Thankfully that young lady was open to Godly instruction and the Holy Spirit opened her heart and mind to the Lord's direction.

Rabecca - posted on 05/29/2009

I think that alot of women get caught up in the word no the meaning behind it .to som eI think submissive wives mean that you walk 3 feet behind your husband and never look up or have a sence of self anymore . I have to say over the last several years I have thought alot about this very thing I am what you would call submissive and I maybe very non feminist to some I believe in women being able to concer the world if they want to but to me life has lost it balence roles and ideals are so far from tradtional that I can see how men and women get lost some women want it all all I ever wanted was to stay home and raise my kids take care of my family amd home that would be my perfect life maybe returning to work when my kids are grown or all in school but that is just not possible these days at least for us . We have made this country a 2 income nessesity because of that kids are being raised in daycares and parents dont talk as much to busy to be friends most of the time familys cumble under the pressure. I think that in turn men dont have that sort of feeling of impowerment that sence of pride that comes from being able to take care of things for his family that they dont have to stick around thier women are strong and have income why do they need them around if they leave it's okay they have a job and stuff of thier own and some women might also feel like oh well if I do this or that and he dosent like it my husband has no control over my life or my actions I am indepentant if I am married or not . Not a good way to think I work and try to be as serving to my family as possible I feel that we have no issues with serving our boss our community ect why would you not want to serve your familyan dyour husband that God choice just for you and when you choice to serve others you will see they will be there to serve you as well . Being submissive takes alot of effort I love my husband very much I submit to his wishes sometimes because I love him why would I try to make him feel like his oppion does not matter to me it does but inturn he treats me the same way if I feel really strongly about something he willl go along withit because he cherishes me and loves to show me that I am not just his wife but that I am a gift to him but if we cant deside on something then I tell him that i will go along with what he decides is best because he would never make a wrong choice for our lives on purpose and if it turns out to be the wrong choice he seeks me more the next tough choice we dont have many but you know ever so often . So I guess for me it's kind of like my realtionship with Christ the more I give up control and let him in the more I get in return my husband knows I love him and that without him my life would be lost he is the head of the home but I never feel that I am less than a gift to him and if thats unfeminist or whatever then I am I am proud of who I am and proud of my family I know that God will always protect it because even though my husband is head of our home God is head of our lives

Annette - posted on 05/28/2009

I'm very glad I don't have to be head of the house. I think the man has a great deal of responsibility that I don't really want. I'm glad made me a helper.

It's good to everyones responses, very interesting.

Marta - posted on 05/27/2009

Quoting Amy:

Interesting that this come up now because my 2 older kids (girl-8 and boy-7) are asking why daddy is the head of the house, why not mommy. Why did God make it that way? And all these questions. Submission is not a dirty word you are so right. In fact it kind of takes the pressure off us women in some areas. If we disagree with our husbands, but we submit to them we are doing what God asks of us, even if we don't think they are doing what God wants (not speaking if illegal things or anything). They are responsible to God for their descions, man I don't want that kind of pressure.
Anyways to me submission is discussing an issue, but if you disagree you go with what your hubby wants, and you do it without bitterness.

I couldn't agree more completely! My husband told me before we were married that as the HOH (head of the house) it's his responsibility to ensure that our family is working under God's Perfect Will so when we have a disagreement on how to approach a situation or how to spend any extra money we get we usually go with what he says and if it doesn't go well he has to pay the consequences. As moms we have enough on our plate. We have to take care of everyone when they're sick and noone takes care of us when we're sick, we have to make sure everyone gets to where they're going on time, homework gets done, instruments get practiced, laundry gets done etc. etc. etc. so for us to have to take on the burden of making the final decision and fixing it if it all goes wrong would be just too much to handle. God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I believe that that's why we as women are supposed to submit our will to our husbands will (as far as the house goes) Usually through a little look of disapproval and a quick prayer asking God to open our husbands eyes our men come around and agree with us and things work out well (at least that's what I've found in my 3 blissful years of marriage)

Amy - posted on 05/27/2009

Interesting that this come up now because my 2 older kids (girl-8 and boy-7) are asking why daddy is the head of the house, why not mommy. Why did God make it that way? And all these questions. Submission is not a dirty word you are so right. In fact it kind of takes the pressure off us women in some areas. If we disagree with our husbands, but we submit to them we are doing what God asks of us, even if we don't think they are doing what God wants (not speaking if illegal things or anything). They are responsible to God for their descions, man I don't want that kind of pressure.
Anyways to me submission is discussing an issue, but if you disagree you go with what your hubby wants, and you do it without bitterness.

Shelly - posted on 05/27/2009

Annette,

To me it's not being a door mat it is allowing your husband to be the spiritual leader of your family...Allow him to be the leader of your house hold...that doesn't mean that he reins over you all that means is that if you are about to spend some money not in the budget you need to discuss it with him if you need to make a dession thats going to affect the family you need to talk to him about it, if something is going on with the kids you need to talk to him about it...God does not ask us to be door mats just partners and you can't be that if you are trying to make all the dessions and if your husband doesn't want to make dessions then you still need to talk to him about it you can make the dession but you still need to talk to him and let him know what is going on!!! Good conversation btw...May God bless every road you will travel

Amanda - posted on 05/27/2009

I agree 100% Annette..Submission is not bad and those that take it the wrong way may need to do research of their own.

Heather - posted on 05/26/2009

By submitting to our husbands, we do submit to Christ. The Bible tells us to submit. This is a good thing. It makes our marriages stronger. It is kind of like being a servant. Serving people isn't bad. It is actually a great thing. You just really need to know what it means and enjoy the reasoning behind it. Which should ultimately be Christ.

Bethany - posted on 05/26/2009

Before we got married our pastor had us watch a series of videos (I can't remember which ones) and, of course, one of them was on submission. What I remember from it was that submitting doesn't mean that you can't have opinions or suggestions or a voice in your marriage...I think that's why people view it negatively- they see the passive wife who goes along with whatever her husband says, good and bad, without saying a word. Maybe I'm looking at this more practically than spiritually but to me it's God's way of getting you through all those impasses that are bound to happen- both people get to share their feelings on the decision and both pray about it- but when an agreement can't be reached the wife allows her husband to decide (and keeps praying that God will change someone's heart!)



I think it's so tough because you are right about a change of attitude being necessary- from both people. Both people have to truly be looking to God for guidance. Both people have to love and respect the other. And I think it's hard to have all that happening at the same time sometimes- especially when it's a really big decision and you start at opposite ends. It's like so much else in the Bible- you can't just take it out of context and say "Wives, submit!" It was God's plan that we submit to husbands that love us as Christ loved the church!



Anyway- I'm starting to ramble (and feel convicted because I'm not good at this at all!!! :~D )