Toddler Behavior Charts

Rebekah - posted on 08/01/2010

Hi Christie, Thanks for the opinion, but I work with children on a daily basis. The Bible specifically says we have a reward waiting for us in Heaven, and it also states that we will be rewarded for our good deeds. Just as God rewards, I will teach my child the same thing. But I'm tired of the day being "no no no no no no no no no no" all the time, the reward chart is a visualization for both the parent(s) and the child(ren) to see how they behave. Eventually the reward aspect goes away. But my mom used charts for all kinds of things and our rewards varied, since my son is not quite 2 yet, I'll probably stick to simple things - like praise and LOTS of it! He needs help in seeing he does good things to bring about "positive" reinforcement in the home, since I work, this doesn't happen since daddy is at home. I have been home this entire week and watched my son mimick my husband throughout the day, so I'm starting a reward chart to help with positive reinforcement!!!

I'm also creating a snack box, my son will be allowed to be in full control of it, but once the snacks are gone, they are gone for the day and the box won't get filled back up till the next day. And only healthy stuff would go in this box, such as raisins, dried fruit, cheerios, crackers, pretzels, veggie chips, etc. We'll pack it in the morning and he can open it when he wants, except 1 hour before meal times, and when they are gone for the day, they are gone. The "snacks" have been an issue, so I figured this would make it easier for my hubby too.

I'm just trying to come up with simple solutions to ease the stresses my hubby, since he's home with the little man. I don't actually have an issue when I'm at home, so hopefully this will help changes things.

Christine - posted on 08/01/2010

Ladies,

I certainly don't want to start an argument on here at all, but I wanted to encourage you regarding something related to the charts.

My parents also used charts to help us do chores like we were supposed to, etc. But what that taught me was to perform for a reward, vs. obeying my parents because it pleased God. I'm not saying that there aren't rewards to pleasing God, but the question I would pose is this:

Does the chart teach your child to perform for a reward, thereby altering their behavior? If so, is altering the behavior our only goal or are we to reach their hearts with God's truth and pray for Him to create change in them? For example, with the hitting, is the child's problem that he's hitting, or is the child's problem that he 1) is not getting his way, 2) is acting in disobedience to mommy, 3) is angry and is acting out in physical violence? His hitting is an outward manifestation of a sinful behavior of some sort. Perhaps the sin should be addressed first and then link it in the child's mind to hitting afterwards?

Like I said, I don't want to start an argument, I just wanted to introduce a different way of thinking about helping our children act in ways that are pleasing to God. I know parenting isn't an exact science and I don't claim to have all the answers.

Best of luck to all of you :)

Cheers,

Christie

Victoria - posted on 07/31/2010

When I was very little my parents did a chart for me for something. They would give me a big red star on it if i did the thing I wasn't s'pose to & a tiny gold one if I didn't. At the end of the week if I had more gold than red I got a treat. I was about 2 apparently & within 2 weeks it went from all red to all gold.

I've used them with my girls a couple of times & I think it depends on the child as to whether you reward daily or weekly. My kids have always understood well enough to do a weekly reward, but you the best one to judge that for your little one.

For one of my girls we did a no biting one, I'm currently thinking of doing a no rough play one with my middle daughter. I've always made the chart myself, decorating it with stickers & drawings related to what it is for, with a picture of the child it is for in the top corner.

I hope this helps.
V :)

Cheryl - posted on 07/31/2010

I got mine from a book called "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Ginger Plowman. She talks about the practical ins and outs of Ted tripp's principles in Shepherding a Child's Heart.

We use stickers and rewards (tv time is a big one in our house). Depending on the age or severity of the trouble, you may have to have an end of the morning and end of the day reward- there's nothing more frustrating to a young child to blow his reward for the whole day at 9 am!!!