JW - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 18 moms have responded )
I am about 4 months post partum and sadly tore my perineum during delivery. I was so scared of tearing or having an episiotomy but was told by many medical professionals that tearing heals much better than a cut. I also was never told how to prevent a tear even though I took a birthing class and have a sister who is a labor and delivery nurse. I just wish I had known ways to prevent tearing through breathing and not pushing during crowing or using an Epi-No (device that stretches perineum during pregnancy weeks 36-40 and prepares skin to stretch for babies head). I did not know about that device until now. It actually sounds like it probably could prevent a lot of tearing and might be more effective than perineal massage.
I had a second degree tear and needed a lot of stitches. The tear went through vaginal wall and down perineum and I watched in horror as it happened (I had a mirror). It took Dr about 20 minutes to sew me up. I am having a really hard time dealing with my tear (pain and scar tissue) and my very negative delivery experience. Plus I ended up with terrible hemorrhoids the size of grapes. I honestly don't know if I can ever have another baby after that experience.
My tear hurt terribly for the first 5 weeks after delivery! I wanted to cried all the time. It was the worst place to have stitches because the skin is so sensitive down their. I can't believe they allow women to rip like that. Plus I am not so sure it healed correctly as I have a piece of hanging skin and looks weird down their now. But my OB Dr said it healed great and looks good.
My tear pain did go away for several weeks but now it feels weird all the time and like its hard and tugging all the time on my perineum. I constantly feel it when I am sitting or driving and it doesn't feel like the way it used to. I at times wonder if a c section would have been better for me. I realize a c section is major abdominal surgery and is probaby very painful but at least my private parts wouldn't be ruined. Because of my tear intercourse irritates the skin and scar so I can't be intimate unless I want pain.
I was induced at 42 weeks and had 1 minute contractions for 24 hours. I flashback to the entire labor and delivery and have been very traumatized. At times I wish I had a c section! Mainly because I would prefer to have an incision on my belly than a 3 inch tear down perineum that has developed hard scar tissue and feels like its tugging all the time. I can't go a day without feeling my tear. Is this normal now that I am 4 months postpartum especially since its not a 3rd or 4th degree tear?
I am curious if any other mothers out there had tears and did they ever feel better and did the hard scar tissue get better? I can accept the tear and difficult labor but I can't live with constant pain and discomfort from tear.
Sorry that I sound so frustrated. I am just hoping and praying my tear heals up so I don't feel it one day! Thanks for listening to me and for any advice you can offer me. I have been praying God will heal my body of the pain and discomfort so I can be the best mommy to my baby girl.