Liz - posted on 05/14/2012 ( 16 moms have responded )
I will apologize in advance for the long post here.
A very close friend of mine has some anger issues. She has been counseling with her husband's friend (who is a Christian psychologist) about how to deal with this anger. He thinks that she was sexually abused as a child, but she doesn't remember anything. Personally, I am very skeptical of this man and don't agree with some of the things he's been saying.
He says she needs to remember what happened to her, then she needs to confront the people who abused her in order to get through the anger that she has. He has been having her write with her left hand (non-dominant hand) memories from her childhood. Any memories. Apparently, he says, important things in her memories will stand out and be more legible than everything else she writes. He has been trying to "help" her remember for several months now. Her anger has been worse at times during this process, and she is now even on anti-anxiety medication.
This man went so far as to tell her that God told him that the baby she miscarried at 17 years of age was fathered by her own father! She, however, does not remember any actual abuse, but is now questioning her father's integrity!
I have another friend who WAS sexually abused as a child and she only remembers bits and pieces - enough to know that it happened. She believes that God is protecting her mind from those memories, and that there is no reason to bring them back in full force. I feel that she is right. What would be the point of bringing back those memories? Once you remember them, you will never forget them, and you will be faced with the pain and hurt over what happened for the rest of your life. And what is the point in confronting the person who abused you? What if that person is dead and you CAN'T confront them?
Please share your thoughts, and if I have been unclear anywhere in this post, let me know. Thanks in advance!