UPS AND DOWNS OF RAISING A TEENAGE GIRL

Shalon - posted on 05/14/2011

Yes! the five love languages is great, there is one for teens! I am reading the one for kids i have a few more years for the teens to come, God be with you

Carla - posted on 05/14/2011

As Anne says, each child expresses their feelings differently. Our oldest daughter is like your middle child, the only time affection was demonstrated was when she wanted something. So when she hugged me or told me she loved me, I cringed inwardly, wondering what was next. Our middle child, a son, and youngest daughter are both very demonstrative, although our son buys funny cards, he is telling me he loves me. Our youngest daughter buys mushy cards and writes beautiful things about love. Their love is expressed differently, but it is still the same.



Verse 4 that Anne quoted in the KJV is 'fathers, provoke not your children to wrath'. Sometimes we provoke by expecting each child to behave the same and that is not their make-up. As Rebekah said, there are different love languages. Learn hers. Maybe it's doing the dishes so you can put your feet up. My husband does acts of love--brings me a cup of tea, or goes and gets take-out when I've had a particularly rough day. This is his way to tell me he loves me. It took me 30 years to figure it out (slow learner).



But I do think I would talk to her the next time she comes around with a hug and kiss wanting something. This is learning manipulation, and you do NOT want that. Pray, ask God's guidance, and then have a talk with her about this.



God bless

Anne - posted on 05/12/2011

Hi Kimberly,
Our daughters are now 23 and 27. When our oldest was younger she was a hugger and expressed her love daily. Our youngest although a respective daughter she was not overly demonstrative with her affection. When I let her lead the expression of affection she was much more open than when I tried to get her to express her feelings. Now that she is an adult she tells us every time we talk to her that she loves us and is Thankful we are her parents.

I can now look back and realize that when I was expecting a hug when she was not ready to give me a hug I was exasperating her.

As Parents I think we often forget the 4th verse. I am not sure if any of this has helped. Hang in their she will come around.

Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”[a]

4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Rebekah - posted on 05/12/2011

Hm, I'd encourage you to read the 'Five Love Languages" - doesn't matter which one, just read one and understand those love languages and then find out which one your daughter's is. Once you do, help her to understand it and grow her in a positive way with her love language. :)

Heather - posted on 05/12/2011

Have you brought this up with her? She might not even realize that she is doing it.