What do boys know

Tam - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is 11, what does he know about the birds and the bees and what should I be telling/teaching him?

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Marta - posted on 05/27/2009

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Chances are he knows a lot whether he's learned it at school or from friends who's parents are open about it. The most important thing, in my opinion, for a mother to teach her son is that a woman is not an object; if you run into something in his room that is sexually explicit while picking up his dirty laundry off of the floor approach him in a calm manner and explain to him that material like that is not appropriate for a boy his age. Certain topics such as developement, masturbation and the mechanics of sex should be left to the male role model (his dad, a youth pastor, an uncle etc.) since it can be a very awkward conversation and that's not the way that you want your child to feel about themselves or sex. I beleive it's important to make yourself available to answering questions about sex, anatomy, periphenalia, magazines, movies etc. The worst approach (the one that my parents took with me and my siblings--it made us more curious but afraid to approach our parents) is to make it seem forbidden or as if it's taboo! I wound up pregnant at 17 because I couldn't discuss sexuality freely at home, I had no information except the limited info. I got from my Catholic school education and the misinformation I got from friends. Openness is your best tool as a parent and I cannot emphasize that enough.

Rabecca - posted on 05/27/2009

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I can tell you at like 5 I knew about sex at least the process of it only because an older child or teen told me about it . and really I wish they never did I think that there was a innocence loss and from that point I wanted to know more and more.it was like a switch had been turned and once it has been theres no going back .My son 8 shocked me the other day I have always been really careful about how I speak and what he is exposed too but if he has questions I answer them honestly but maybe not to much in depth details but he was waltching a kids show butthw preteens kissed a girl like a peak on th emouth an dhe said mom I think he has sex with lots of girls I could have died right there but after a mintue of okay what do I say to that I just asked why would you think that and he said he kisses lots of girls that means sex right . after explaining to him no thats not what that means it really gave me the opportunity to tell him alittle more and let him know that there are things that he is to young to know but i will always give him the trith and answer anything that he wants to know and to always come to me if has questions . my mom is just amazing but I never felt like I could ask her stuff I never want my children to feel that way plus the more comfortable they are the more times I can share with them what I expect of them and ask of them and how special it is to save yourself for who God created you for.

Shelly - posted on 05/27/2009

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Tam,

If your having to ask us your looking in the wrong place were you should be looking is to your son!!! Kids are not as dumb as we as mothers would like to think with all of our OH NOT MY CHILD wisdom...I guarentee you that he knows more than you think and if he is in public school it's alot more than that!!! Sit down and ask him what he has heard from other kids on the subject and your not comfortable doing it then have his dad do it but don't put your head in the sand and think your ok for a little while longer...This is wear our boys need that strong male in thier lives because they are not always going to be comfortable talking to you about it either...You need to make sure that you are honest with him b/c he will check your facts...Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers that the Lord will give you the right words...

Evelyn - posted on 05/26/2009

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Well, I have 3 boys who are 19, 17 and 9 so been there done that and am doing it again soon. It is really about what your son is able to understand. How mature is he? What is he hearing at school? Pray about it. Each child is different. My older 2 learned at 7 and 9 because their little brother was on the way.

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Lucky for me I sitll have several years before I have to deal with this with my son but I would say that you should assume he has heard quite a bit about it at school or other places but he may have been misinformed. The Oprah show actually had a show about this that I found very informative and helpful. You can check out some of the information here: http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/opr...

Carolyn - posted on 05/26/2009

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My son is 10 nearly 11 and I find he has heard words being used. He isn't exactly sure what they mean but knows that they are something that other kids giggle about. He goes to big school in September and I think I will have to have a basic discussion with him about where babies come from and what sex is. I would rather he heard a loving description from me than learn from another kid at school. Also i want to emphasise that sex is a gift from God, made specially for a man and woman who truly love each other. Outdated today but it is god's ideal and that is God's best for us. Also i guess he is going to start to change physically so I'd rather make sure he is prepared for these changes than frightened by them. Having said all that, maybe dad should have a go!! lol

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