What do you do about a 10 year old with a nasty teenager attitude?

Tina - posted on 06/09/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter who is very intelligent has begun talking down to me as if I am stupid, refusing to do what she's told, back talking and name calling. Today she was rude to her sisters as well. Nothing seems to work and I am getting worn out. Dad doesn't see it as she doesn't do it when he's around at night (so she can control it).

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Tina - posted on 06/10/2009

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Thanks Anne. I did kind of wonder if some of this was related to hormones. I do take away privledges, but I think I was really just wanting it to stop instantly, which is not reality. I think what upset me most was that she felt justified to talk to me that way and was not sorry at all. She was rebellious and defiant, and almost had a "You cannot tell me what to do" attitude (reminded me of the toddler years!). I did give her some Bible verses which were applicable and told her to go write them and meditate on them. When she came to see me a while later she was very calm and also sorry, which she hadn't been earlier.

Anne - posted on 06/09/2009

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Hi Tina part of this is hormones, yes even at 10 they can start to have an effect. THIS however is not a FREE PASS for sass. When our daughters were that age I would take away privileges . The same ones did not work for each daughter. We have 2 grown daughters. Reality Discipline worked very good for our youngest daughter. When she was sassy I would not give he rides to friends homes. She could still go but skhe had to ask for the ride as we lived 7 miles from town. She did not like asking for rides. Some times she stayed home from something she really wanted to do, oh well. If they did not have their clothes in their clothes hamper and it was laundry day, I was not a private detective searching out which clothes were clean or dirty. They could do their own laundry but I did not do any after school for them. Computer time and even reading books were taken away at times because it worked. You may need to really watch and try to figure out what your daughter really wants to do , what is important to her. Is using a siblings toys, music, books or what ever may be off limits (I am sure you do not let her just take what she wants of other members of your family) if she has been rude to them. You my need to video her behavior with out her realizing it if your husband never sees it. This is very extreme, but as moms some times we have to do the extreme to keep the over all peace of the family. Another thing I did with our daughters was to Pray with them almost every morning before they went to school. I also Prayed over their rooms and the cars they were driving as they got older. This will get better if you can just LOL hold on and be consistent. I know this is easier said than done when the storm is brewing and just giving in looks tempting. I hope this helps. I also hope you did not take my suggestions as scolding you.

Anne - posted on 06/09/2009

2,759

82

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Hi Tina part of this is hormones, yes even at 10 they can start to have an effect. THIS however is not a FREE PASS for sass. When our daughters were that age I would take away privileges . The same ones did not work for each daughter. We have 2 grown daughters. Reality Discipline worked very good for our youngest daughter. When she was sassy I would not give he rides to friends homes. She could still go but skhe had to ask for the ride as we lived 7 miles from town. She did not like asking for rides. Some times she stayed home from something she really wanted to do, oh well. If they did not have their clothes in their clothes hamper and it was laundry day, I was not a private detective searching out which clothes were clean or dirty. They could do their own laundry but I did not do any after school for them. Computer time and even reading books were taken away at times because it worked. You may need to really watch and try to figure out what your daughter really wants to do , what is important to her. Is using a siblings toys, music, books or what ever may be off limits (I am sure you do not let her just take what she wants of other members of your family) if she has been rude to them. You my need to video her behavior with out her realizing it if your husband never sees it. This is very extreme, but as moms some times we have to do the extreme to keep the over all peace of the family. Another thing I did with our daughters was to Pray with them almost every morning before they went to school. I also Prayed over their rooms and the cars they were driving as they got older. This will get better if you can just LOL hold on and be consistent. I know this is easier said than done when the storm is brewing and just giving in looks tempting. I hope this helps. I also hope you did not take my suggestions as scolding you.

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