What is your opinion on Adult Toy Parties?

Kyle - posted on 02/18/2010 ( 51 moms have responded )

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Okay, I am a christian and one of the other ladies at my church informed me she was having a toy party and asked if I would like to go. I said yes.
When I told my mother about it she looked at me funny with a "your not going are you" look on her face. She thinks it is wrong because sex is supposed to be between a man and a woman not miscellaneous objects. I personally don't think anything is wrong with it because it's not like I will be using this stuff with some random guy. It will be a thing between my husband and I only. A couple ladies in my church will also be attending this party as they see nothing wrong with it either. I am just curious as to what other christian ladies opinions are on this subject.

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Maggie - posted on 02/19/2010

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I would like to say I think it is OK and I have personally been to a few of these parties BUT there is a reason you are asking and you shouldn't go if you are going to feel like you are doing something wrong and are going to feel guilty or embarrassed.

Cyndi - posted on 02/20/2010

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I first want to applaud you for posting such a question from a christian lady. Many of us have been brought up to believe that sex is a dirty three letter word and is not to be discussed among anyone. We are all creatures of creation and that creation starts with the love we have with our spouse that leads to a wonderful moment of enjoyment between the two of you. If you would like to bring toys into the equation, then so be it. I recently discussed this matter with a dear friend who is a representative for one of those who offers parties. She is the daughter of a minister who has followed the Lord all her life. When she told her family that she was going to be a rep. her mother was very excited. She told her that it was nice that she would be a source for many women who have a problem talking about this matter and will be an aide to helping them enjoy their sex life with their husband. I think that if we would stop stigmatizing this subject, we would have a lot less divorces in this world. Happiness in the bedroom could lead to happiness in other areas of the marriage. So what I say to you dear, go, have fun, talk about your concerns and buy you and your husband something that will please. Oh and by the way, just because your a christian does not mean you have to be a stick in the mud.

Diane - posted on 03/22/2010

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I think you are walking a thin line here. What might happen as a result of the party? Not actions but impure thoughts.

I will be brutally honest here......and throw my two cents in the pot.

I can not imagine anything more horrifying almost degrading to my relationship with my husband then to sit with a bunch of women and look at sex toys to turn myself or my husband on sorry. I have seen these on television and know what some of the toys are. To not get graphic many toys come in different colors and sizes.......soooo...welll (squirming in seat here)
Does fantasy play a part in the game?

And why do you need chips and dip and other women there to order sex toys? We are celebrating what?
Why not do it privately online?

This is how I gage some activities that I might do. I ask myself would I mind my Lord sitting next to me while I do it?
And I can't for the life of me see Christ sitting next to me at a sex toy party sorry.


I have been married almost thirty years........and I have never bought a sex toy. Sex was funny enough at times to make us both laugh and cry. LOL

Amber - posted on 02/19/2010

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i personally think it is alright if you are comfortable. what goes on between you and your husband is your business. the song of solomon is all about passion.

Leann - posted on 02/18/2010

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Hi Kyle,

Honestly, I don't think there is any thing wrong with going to the party. Pastors and Teachers don't preach and teach ENOUGH on sex subject. Sex is almost made out to be a bad thing in the minds of Christians, because God says that sex is okay, but there are so many limitations. No, I don't think it is wrong to use objects, as long as it is in the frame of a sanctified marriage and you control your thoughts toward your husband and no one else (fantasies). Sorry to bring this up, but on the subject of sex, so many Christians when they think of sex toys, they think of masterb. with ones self, and to a lot of Christians this is a red-flag. A lot of people who think they are on the Christian-path, are locked in to fornication, sexual immorality, but if you are in the sanctity of marriage, sex is okay in the eyes of God, but the toy thing is just my opinion. Continue to seek God. Hope my advice was helpful to you, Leann Burks

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Julie - posted on 03/01/2011

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@Carrie, as you said you are a new Christian I had some thoughts that might help.

God killed Onan for his disobedience, not because he spilt his seed on the ground.

If God tells us to do something and we don't do it, then we are committing sin, even if the action itself isn't sinful. For example, if we know God is telling us dating a certain person is wrong, dating itself is not sinful, even dating that particular person isn't necessarily sinful for another christian, but it would be sinful for you to do it because God has told you to do something and you have disobeyed.

Sorry I'm not good at explaining examples. But the short version, Onan was killed for disobedience.

And i'm sorry to disagree, but sex for anything else other than having a baby is not immoral.

By that logic, all infertile couples are sinning. All couples where the woman has gone through menopause would be sinning.

The bible makes it very clear that sex IS for pleasure. BUT it is for the pleasure of our spouse, not for own pleasure.

Sex isn't just about procreation. God gave us sex to cement the couple bond in marriage. the "two become one flesh" thing.

I don't mean to offend, but the statement that "sex for anything other than making babies is immoral" is very wrong and is definitely not biblical.

Sex for anything other than deepening the bond of marriage is wrong. Procreation should deepen the bond of marriage. So sex for procreation is acceptable, but there is a lot more to acceptable sex than for procreation purposes.

Read some of Paul's letters where he makes it clear that married couples should not withhold sex from each (except for brief periods for prayer/worship).

What would definitely be immoral would be to say no to a husband or wife when they ask for sex just because one of you is infertile.

I'm very sorry that you feel that sex for non procreation purposes is dirty. Because sex isn't supposed to be a dirty thing ever between a married couple.

I would strongly recommend you look up the Song of solomon series of sermons on the Mars Hill church website. It's a wonderful series by a great, really biblical preacher.

Sex between a married couple is a glorious thing. It is something that should never be considered dirty, or shameful or immoral. It is a blessed gift from God that should be celebrated.

JUDI - posted on 04/08/2010

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The party I attended was fun and clean. It was by www.pureromance.com. It was great and I invited my mom to go with me.

Dana - posted on 04/08/2010

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Just one questions. . . . if Christ were to come back at the moment you are at the party and/or talking about your own sex life, would you be ok with that? Or would you want to hide like Adam & Eve did in the garden because they were embarrassed? My rule of thumb is usually that: Would I be okay with Christ coming back while I am doing this? If not, don't do it.

Marcella - posted on 04/04/2010

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Sex is intended for you and your husband that God created. Man made objects is not in the bible, it takes the romance out of your relationship then you will want to rely on the man made stuff than your husband. Its very unhealthy. read this chrstian book called Transforming Your Life and Marriage. http://www.secretsbiblestudy.com It actually talks about this subject its a very good book. But its between you and God just pray about it

Denise - posted on 04/03/2010

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Carrie, please read Song of Solomon and talk to a good Christian woman about your sex views. Sex is meant to be pleasurable between a husband and wife. Toys being introduced to that relationship is between those two people. If it is demoralizing, then it is not good. But if you are using them to enhance your relationship, go for it. As far as the party, I have been to one, it was fun, but made me uncomfortable at times, so I will probably never go again. As most everyone has said, pray about it, and do what is right for you.

Starla - posted on 03/29/2010

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Oh my, you got a ton of responses to your question from all perspectives LOL. I am a christian and I don't feel that sex toys are a bad thing. If you are married and you and your husband want to spice up your sex live well go for it. It's your business. I have been to few of these party's, and they are fun. You don't even have to buy anything just hang out with your friends and have fun...

Esther Titilayo-Oluwa - posted on 03/26/2010

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All things r lawful for me but all things r not expedient, thatz wat Paul said in one of his teachings. If adult parties are becos things r fizzling out of ur marriage then call unto Him who made the home in the first place. When the wine ran out at the WEDDING IN CANA OF GALILEE, they went to him and He asked them to fill the pots wit water and it turned into WINE. Flee every appearance of sin. Do not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy.

Angela - posted on 03/24/2010

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thats between u & god just pray over i have been to em i think the only thing wrong w/em is how some peps talk nasty & stiff but if you are asking advice like is it normal to do this or that then i dont think theres anything wrong with but i would just pray about

Fallon - posted on 03/22/2010

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Toy parties do not make you evil. Go and you may find something that will spice up the bedroom for you and your husband...

Kyle - posted on 03/22/2010

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Actually, My pastor is doing a series the next few weeks about seeing things from Gods point of view and toys was mentioned and he said they are fine as long as used inside the marriage.

[deleted account]

Before I became a Christian I would have been all for it.. But not now. I think your mother is right. Not to mention, sex is a private matter between a husband & wife, not a bunch of ladies playing with perverted toys...

Janelle - posted on 03/18/2010

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i found this website a while back, re: sex and marriage and christianity....love it. they also have a link to a christian based toy website under the sextoy heading, partway down the page.... http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/sexu...
to answer your question.....i don't know if i would feel comfortable going (would depend on who else would be there), but i don't see a problem with it, or with toys, as long as the husband and wife are in agreement on the subject.

Alina - posted on 03/17/2010

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I love having fun with my husband, and would love it if someone would throw a party I could attend :) The marriage bed is honorable . . . you know that scripture already. Personally, I feel that what you and your hubby do in your private life is your business, and buying things to enjoy with your spouse is just fine! It's not like you're using them at the party, you're just looking and making your purchases in a private home, which sure is a lot safer than going to an adult shop for them. To me it's the same as a bachelorette party - a bunch of women buying you lingerie and they know you won't be wearing it to go grocery shopping! And I'm sure your husband feels blessed to have a wife that wants to keep him pleased.

Debbie - posted on 03/17/2010

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I feel it is up to the individual. Personnaly I see nothing wrong with it as long as it's just between you and your husband.

Jenny - posted on 03/17/2010

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i've always wanted to go to one, but it makes my husband uncomfortable, so i haven't. it's really between you and your hubby whether or not you go. if it were something that made him uncomfortable to see you go to, then i would say not to go, but i don't think it's anything wrong.

Stephanie - posted on 03/15/2010

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well its between You Your husband and God pray over it and leave the mothers out of it(meaning Your's and his ha) talk with You husband and incourage him to talk to You about everything You see there. (i wouldnt go with out my husband but i dont think i would go to one. i would want others to know what i have going on in my bridalroom)

[deleted account]

I think it is wrong. Not the use of the toy with your hubby, but going to a party to buy them. I think its something you and your hubby can privately purchase together (even online without others knowing), not at a sex toy party with other women. Not appropriate.

Ally - posted on 03/01/2010

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Def go to the party! Me and my friends have them often and they are such a blast! I personally feel that as part of a married couple...anything goes between the two of us and that includes experimenting with things like lotions..toys..movies ect. to keep things super fun and exciting! My husband loves it when i go to these parties...they are always a good place to learn about new products and techniques and I always come home in a good mood after enjoying some time out with friends and ready for an awesome night with him!

Since they are girls only parties we have the toy party before and then plan for just a fun party afterwards that the husbands are invited to also. That way when they get there the two of us pick out items from the catalog that we both want to try! There is absolutely nothing wrong with going...sex was made to be enjoyed between an man and his wife so don't let anyone make you feel bad about it! And you don't have to worry about anyone knowing what you purchase because the ordering always takes place in a separate room by yourself with the sales rep. Have fun this party will only help your relationship...trust me ...some of the products are AMAZING!!!

Andrea - posted on 02/25/2010

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Personally I think of sex toys the same as using gloves to wash the dishes, they are to help you but you wouldnt walk around the house wearing them all the time. The purpose for them is clear that they are to be used as a couples aid. Usually a toy party is given by a professional and they will deliver the info based on the kind of people who are attending so if its not couples going there probably wont be alot of couples aid talk unless all or most of the women are married. When the partys are for women only they usually are more about the bonding of those women than the actual toys.



Only you can decide if its a right choice for you. I would ask your husband how he feels about it. If you decide together that its ok then go, if you dont like it you can always leave. If you decide not to go but dont rule out couples aids all together maybe a descrete adult store would be better suited for you. That being said, you didnt say whether or not you were at church when this lady invited you. If so if it were me I would probably distance myself from this person because I dont think the church auditorium is the place for that kind of topic. You have to be careful of the people you allow to influence you!!

Amy - posted on 02/24/2010

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Go! and quit putting too much thought into it. Its just a demonstration of items you can purchase to enhance the lovemaking of you and your partner. Contrary to what some people think. God created sex, lovemaking is a beautiful thing and it should also be spiritual. It is a giving of one another to each other. We take it out of the content of how God intended for it to be and we make it dirty.

Renee - posted on 02/24/2010

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I am a christian too. I am happily married and have been for nearly 15 years. If sex toys would enhance yours and your husbands relationship then why not attend? I believe God would want a husband and wife to enjoy their intimate time together. As far as mothers go I bet mine would react the same way yours did. Growing up in my family sex was not discussed. It was like sex was the forbidden word and sex before marriage was unspeakable. But how can it be forbidden? If it weren't for sex none of us would be here today. Is a bastard child born out of wed lock any less special than one conceived by a married couple in a loving committed relationship? Should a pregnant teen be kicked out of her parents home because she made a mistake? If you stop and listen to your heart you will hear God tell you what to do. A sex toy party is not exactly what I'd like to go to with my mom, but if one of my sisters or best girl friends invited me I'd like to go.

Victoria - posted on 02/24/2010

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A few scriptures came to mind in regards to this subject. Firstly,

1Co 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

secondly although it basically says the same thing,

1Co 10:23 "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

And lastly,

Romans 14:1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' "[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

So this scripture speaks about eating certain foods, but the principle of the matter moves over to most any situation. If you are comfortable with & have the freedom to attend this sort of thing, go ahead, but don't let it be a stumbling block for any fellow believers, because then it does become sin & also if you have any doubts, then it also becomes sin.

So it is permissible, but is it beneficial for you, your marriage, your christian walk, that's something you need to take the time to discuss firstly with God and then with your husband.

I hope this helps.

Darcel - posted on 02/23/2010

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Gosh Kyle, -

I checked the site before I posted it to this thread and just now and it was fine. Maybe the pop-up blockers on your computer are not set properly because your expereince is not normal. Sorry for the crude display.

www.goodvibes.com has a solid reputation in the Bay Area for a tasteful display of adult materials for committed couples. And that they take their reputation seriously so I will be emailing them about your expereince so they can fix what needs to be fixed on their end.

Margaret - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am a Christian and this topic came up at our Women's Retreat. You should not allow anything into your bedroom besides your husband. Your husband should be able to please you with what he has. You don't need any toys. Pray and ask God because His opinion is the most valuable!

April - posted on 02/23/2010

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Carrie, please read the song of solomon sometime. It is beautiful, just as the marriage bed is absolutely the place to show love and devotion to one another. That said, I do agree that there is not necessarily a problem with using toys, but there is a problem if they are degrading or if the toys replace a relationship with a spouse. I went to an adult party once and was not comfortable joining in on conversations that I believe are private.

Debi - posted on 02/23/2010

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I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it stays "clean". I have been to several and I have left one because it was getting out of hand someone brought drinks and people started talking way to much about there "bedroom life" and that needs to stay in the bedroom. But that did not stop me from going to another one. Not all are bad use good judgment. It really spiced up my marriage so it is a good thing in my book. Have fun and my other opinion you might not want to tell your mom what all went on. ;-)

Kyle - posted on 02/22/2010

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well actually I don't know how long it has been since you have been on that web site but I just clicked on it and the first thing that popped up on my screen were three naked women showing nipples and all and some of the links were titled "gay porn, MILFS, Evil Angels" and those are just the not so bad titles, the rest I won't even think about listing on here. That is why I would rather go to the toy party. At least I know it will be G-rated and no nude pics or nothing! Thanks for the suggestion though!

Darcel - posted on 02/22/2010

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Kyle,

You have a good point. This is another area where we are spoiled in the Bay Area and I forget every state does not have the resources we do. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Good Vibrations is an adult store that provides a respectful shopping expereince for customers and does not have that sleezy black curtian and dirty magazine display. It is very popular in the Bay Area. They don't have porn banner ads on the website or everything offensive. If anyone is interested grab your man (or not if your shy) and check it out. http://www.goodvibes.com.

Julie - posted on 02/22/2010

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You know what? I think they are a blast! It's a great time for women to get together at someones house, have a few drinks, and laugh our asses off. And the bonus is afterward you get to pick out something fun. There is nothing wrong with being a sexual human being. That doesn't mean you have to get anything you aren't comforatble with. Massage lotions and stuff is great. I personally don't get into the sick stuff, but come on ladies, some of it is pretty amuzing. and you are with other women who understand and you can laugh and talk about men. Lighten up a little. This kind of thing doesn't mold who you are as a person or a Christian. I am a born again Christian, and I take that serious, but the Lord in Heaven wants us to laugh and enjoy things in life as well. It's also about the company that you are with. A party for women from church? Think about-we are human. Love to you all and best wishes

Candy - posted on 02/22/2010

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Well as for me sex is discussed freely in my married couples group. I think it's healthy to discuss with other christians. I have thought of going to these toy parties myself, but didn't because it was not going to be kept g-rated. I would go if one of my fellow christian friends was having one. I have personally seen that discussion with other married christian couples has helped other couples. They know that they are not alone and it makes them feel better. They are able to work through the problem. I have no problem with the toy parties or the discussion of sex with other Christian women. If it makes you and your husband happy go for it!!

Kyle - posted on 02/22/2010

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Darcel- I do see your point on what you said and that was something I was thinking at some point too. But, then I realized that this is as G-rated as I will probably find because honestly, where can you go now days that has toys like this and that is not COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by perversion and porn. All the Adult stores here in Ohio are all surrounded by porn. also, the same with the web site. Have you tried to Google a subject like that? Your computer gets swamped with all that disgusting stuff. I would feel much more comfortable being in a christian environment where I know that stuff won't be a topic of discussion.

Lisa- I am okay with the subject, there isn't anything "not sitting well" with me on this one because I personally don't think anything is wrong with it. I was just curious as to what other Christians opinions were. I am glad to know I am not alone in my thinking:)

Darcel - posted on 02/21/2010

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I really don't want to know the intimate details of my BFF's sex lives let alone have a party with random ladies from my church while we shop for our husbands pleasure. Ex: if you have a stripper pole in ur bedroom good for u but i really don't need or want to know about it.



So that being said I have nothing against the toys, I just feel like shopping for them should not be like a tupperware or crystal party. I feel that the couple that is interested should browse the internet or visit an adult store together. I may sound prudish, but keep your kinky side between you and your hubby.

Laurel - posted on 02/21/2010

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I personally feel you need to discuss the situation with your husband. If you both are comfortable with it then you should go, but keep in mind what you and your husband enjoy and would be okay with using.

Jennifer - posted on 02/21/2010

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well personally i dont think there is anything wrong with it ....your talking with friends not going out and messing with anyone...and then there toys...to choose from not other people to choose from ..there is nothing wrong with it ...although you dont have to talk about your sex life....its just a way to loosen up have fun and find out new ways to enhance your personal life at home...thats all but if you feel like you'll be doing something wrong then maybe you shouldnt go cause you have to feel comfortable with what your doing ...

Claires - posted on 02/21/2010

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I was invited to 1 also but chose not to go because drinking was going to b involved also so I just told her i mite order something from her catalog but I asked my husband how he felt about it and he didn't want me to get anything & it's not necessary 4 us so I haven't gotten or looked at getting anything. I would definitely ask yourself y ur wanting to go. R u needing some social/fellowship time with the ladies? Maybe u should just do a girls nite out at you or a friend's, watch an uplifting movie or play games... dare eachother to do the Fireproof Your Marriage! I agree with alot of the responses except about sex not being for pleasure in a marriage. We talked to r pastor about this and went to a marriage conference and it is one of the most reassuring things 4 a man, needed just as much as we women need to talk & be cuddled 4 comfort. Sex with your spouse is connecting on a deeper level, lovesharing, It is an important part of marriage just as connecting spiritually is thru bible study & prayer together. Just remember to keep the right focus that in a marriage there is three (u, ur spouse, & God). This is coming from some1 that has committed adultry, ben thru almost divorce, & we've ben able to work past the hurt, & deal with r issues thru the help of a gr8 program called Celebrate Recovery & i got baptised as a profession of faith & gave my life to His control (still working on lettin Him keep the reins of course). Props 4 bein so bold 2 ask!!

Suzanne - posted on 02/21/2010

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i personally don't have or use adult toys. if it is between you and your husband and you want to express some fun BETWEEN YOU AND HIM THEN GO FOR IT. IF THE PARTY GOES "SOUTH" CHRISTAIN OR NOT.. THEN ITS TIME TO LEAVE THE PARTY. GOOD LUCK AND REMEMBER OUR MOMS ARE "OLD SCHOOL' AND PRAY ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU GO. GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

Lisa - posted on 02/20/2010

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Religious doctrine aside, I just cannot imagine telling my mom I am going to a adult toy party or anyone from church. Have you prayed on the matter ? because I agree with Maggie, something about this situation is not sitting right with you. Best Wishes and Peace

Heather - posted on 02/19/2010

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Personally I would never go to one. But I won't judge you for it. Our convictions are our own, but I for me, it is something sacred between my husband and I. Something God created for us to enjoy one another, not something that man created to enjoy man made devices...

Jamie - posted on 02/19/2010

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I don't think there is any problem with it if you are comfortable. God created sex and the pleasure and passion that goes along with it. He did not have to make the act of reproduction enjoyable, but he did. It is a beautiful thing and is certainly meant to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. It is not something to be ashamed of. I don't even think it has to be a completely private thing. It's difficult because the society we live in twists and distorts this beautiful thing so that it has become a struggle for many to not go astray. I think Christians can and should have great sex lives with their spouses, and it would do a lot of good to stop trying to hide that fact. It's typical for us to put so much emphasis on the negatives and "should not"s and not enough of the positives. There's nothing "wrong," in my opinion, with mixing it up and having fun. I personally have never experimented with any sex toys, but I cannot think of any reason it would be wrong to do so or to even enjoy looking into these things with your fellow girlfriends. The only problem I can foresee is if it were causing lust or fantasizing of others, as some other ladies mentioned.

Kyle - posted on 02/19/2010

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I won't feel guilty or embarrassed, I didn't think anything of it until my mom and another ladie said how they felt about it. I won't be talking about what my husband and I do togethre we will just be talking about what the products do, I am also comfortable with it because the person throwing the party is also a fellow christian so I am sure it will be as G-rated as possible and won't have the bondage and ball gags you put in your mouth and stuff like that. I don't think she would allow anything inappropriate.

Sheryl - posted on 02/19/2010

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personaly i would not go cause i feel that stuff is between me and my husbend. i went before i was a christian but know that i am married and a christian our sex life stays are own. although i well say i am shocked on how you feel carrie about sex when married. i cause we belive differently about that. i agree with leann how sex is not always a bad thing like when you are married. its just showing each other how much you love each other. till you what i don't think would still be married, if did like your think of doing carrie cause there temp. everywhere no matter what. i perf. my husbend to think of me not of others. cause i know that it can happen. thats why i come from divroce parents. but that just my view on these things. it what i have learned from life.

Linda - posted on 02/19/2010

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I don't think the toys are necessarily the problem but the party would be for me. I don't think we are to "talk" to our friends about our sexual relationship with our husband or what we do in private, and I would imagine that is what you would do at a party like that. I think as christians we are to uplift each other, and edify the body of Christ when we are together....I doubt that would happen! But, pray and ask God if you should go. If you decide to go, think about whether or not it is edify to the Lord Jesus. If you are uncomfortable, follow your heart and leave....if you feel God is being blessed by the party....stay...

Carrie - posted on 02/19/2010

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Personally, I feel toys are wrong. But Romans Chapter 14 does say not to judge another for what they believe. One person may have one day as Sabbath, and another man may have another day as Sabbath. We aren't to judge one another's beliefs. Just to share my feelings on the matter though... I don't believe in sex for pleasure, I guess you could say. Genesis Chapter 38 talks about how Onan spilled his seed on the ground, to keep from having a child with his brother's wife, and the Lord killed him. When I read that, the Lord laid on my heart that it is wrong to have sex just for pleasure. I have only been saved for 6 months, and have decided now not to have sex again til I am married. And when I do, I only want to have sex to make children. I don't want to use any form of birth control (pills, condoms, pull-out). I feel if God is going to give me a child, I will have one. I know the Bible says that the bed is undefiled for the married couple. But to me, when it says to refrain from lust, because lust is just the same as committing adultery, then I don't want to do anything that may cause me to have lusting feelings. The man that I am now involved with is a Christian also, and we have agreed to not even kiss more than just a pop kiss, because more than that can bring out very strong lusting feelings. We also both agreed that we only want to have sex to make children when we are married. Each person believes different, but to me, sex is something of the flesh, and now that we are made new in Christ, and have the Holy Spirit in us, we are to refrain from things of the flesh. I have prayed for God to remove those urges and temptations, and He really has. Before I was saved, I was addicted to sex. And the devil still tries to tempt me, but God keeps me in control. When I have those feelings, I pray and read my Bible. I know it is different for you being married, but even when I do get married, I still believe sex that isn't to make a baby is immoral. Just feels dirty to me. I don't think many people will agree with me on that one. Lol. I am so focused on God though, and He comes first in all things, and if something I am doing isn't bringing honor to Him, I don't want to do it. Hope this helps you some. I don't expect you to feel the same way, but I pray God will speak to you, and show you what His will for you is. Good luck and God bless!!

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