What to do when you dont trust someone

Holly - posted on 06/10/2009

Have you ever tried to say oh were going here or there on this day and comming back on this day in conversation .go and sit and wait for him to show up let him go in and then come home /call 911 and say u just pulled in and he will be in there .case closed .(u have the rite to come home 0or just tell him that ,your not intrested any more and when he is around this end up getting stolen or missed placed ,so you think its best that you have no contact good luck

Heather - posted on 04/13/2009

I completely agree with Rebekah. Keep everything that is important out of sight, but as long as it's just "stuff" then that's all it is. Maybe even buy something for him, maybe even something at your house that he mentioned that he liked, (even if it's already missing) go find another one and get it for him. Let him know that you love him, and even if you don't trust him keep on loving him because the greatest command Jesus gave us is to Love one another. Be a light into his dark heart.

Laura - posted on 04/13/2009

I've been in that situation. It happened to us in 2002 before my husband and I met. We knew the people that did it and knew that they were into drug dealing and other things as well. We didn't hang out with them because my dad didn't want them around me, my brother, my sister, or anyone else that hung out at our house. He bought locks for every bedroom in the house. One night we came home to our window air conditioner on the living room and all the bedroom doors open which were always locked when we left the house. The next day our tires were slashed on all of our cars. My dad called the cops and they looked into it and found out that it was the person we suspected and we got a restraining order. We knew about half the police department due to this person calling in false reports all the time on us. And this person knows full well that if him and his friends come near me, my husband and my kids I will have him arrested. And now that you have a baby you can't take any risks especially if they are into drug dealing. I've seen what happens to people who talk to people who are into drug dealing you also get busted. And sometimes if CPS gets involved and you're around there's no telling what could happen. I was there when someone I know got her kids taken away because of that and she never did any drugs. You have to watch your surroundings and when you have kids you never take any chances. I never take chances. I have two kids and whole bunch of people that used to try to get me into trouble are now in jail because they were into drug dealing, they stole constantly, and did a whole lot of other things. You need to seriously think about what is best for your family and my suggestion is to move. Because if you don't eventually something will happen and you will regret not moving and lay awake at night to scared to fall asleep because you'll be too afraid to close your eyes for fear that something will happen to you or your family or your place or whatever. I'd know I've been there done that and I'm not going to put up with it anymore and that's why now most people that used to know me won't come near me even in the store because I don't put up with crap like that I shouldn't have too especially since I have kids that are always my first priority and they always should be so especially if you feel afraid you need to move because those are your maternal instincts kicking in.

Sara - posted on 04/13/2009

Well, I 2nd everything Rebekah replied. Things are just that, things. It stinks knowing that someone is taking "things" of yours that you worked hard for. But they are just things. You'll have to be creative...Put up things of great value to you before they come over...its obvious you have a soft heart...but as Rebekah said, just pray for them and keep loving them regardless of all the evil within them. When they do wrong things, instead of dwelling on the situation, look at it as an opportunity of something else you can pray over them. That's blessing them, and will in return bless you. Seems to me like maybe you have been placed in this area around these people for a reason....pray about that. I really believe God is saying that you are where your supposed to be for now. So why then would God put you in a place where your things are being taken from you? Well, again things are just things. I would suggest that you have to give up the whole "decorating theme" and go thru your home and anything that you absolutely can not live without gets put in your room. When the family comes over and you see the boy looking at something that you know will probably come up missing, approach him and talk to him about it. Let him know where you got it, see what his interest is in it...have a conversation about it, then offer it to him. That way your freely giving it to him instead of him taking...if the day brings about 5 times where he is interested in something, then you narrow it down and say okay you can have one of these 5 things which one are you most interested in....and its important to give it freely. And set boundaries in your home...if this kid wonders throughout your home, in front of his parents you state very confidently, but nicely that here and here is where he is allowed and that the other rooms have nothing to offer him and he need not go in there. The parents have got to know that the child is taking stuff from your house so they will be receptive to your rules..it is your house after all. Pray pray pray all the time for them...as Christians we are supposed to be bold in our faith and use our knowledge to teach others about God. Let these people know that they are walking into a God fearing home. Pray that everytime they walk thru your door that they would feel His presence. Talk about God with them - don't be afraid to do that. I hate to say it, but if you start talking about God as we all should be anyway, they will either be receptive and turn their own lives over to God, or they plain won't want anything to do with Him or you...either way, problem solved.



God loves all of us for all of our sins so its important to not judge them based off of what they do...embrace the situation and take control...I have known people like them, and bottom line is that they need someone to love them...showing love is a cure-all.

Amy - posted on 04/13/2009

well said Rebekah! Also easier said than done is to remember that everything we have is truly God's. Keep care of it, but hold it with an open hand. My hubby and I had to learn this when we also lived in a high theft area. God loves you and wants to protect you and your (soon to be) little one even more than you do.

Rebekah - posted on 04/13/2009

Pray for the family.  My mom took in unwed teen moms and some stole from us all the time.  We continued to show them love and just prayed that whatever they stole God would bless them with it.  Because of this attitude, we saw God bless us in return and awhile down the road we had opportunities to witness to these girls and they ended up fessing up and asking for forgiveness.  Of course we forgave them and started over with a clean slate.  I pray that God gives you an opportunity to confront not just the parents, but their son and doors open for a chance to witness to him.

You have no reason to fear.  "Fear not" is spoken 365 times in the Bible for a reason.  As a Christian you do not have to fear, the Blood of Jesus is your protection.  Keep praying, Keep seeking and God will open doors whatever those are - whether it's to be a witness to this family or whether God opens doors for you to move, leave it to His leading and not yours.

Laura - posted on 04/12/2009

The only advice that I can think of if possibly see if you can get a restraining order against that if they do come near you or your family you can have them arrested and you can get one if you feel threatened by them. I've had to have this done to someone I used to know part of it was because I didn't trust and other reasons. Also move as soon as possible. Easier said than done when there is a brand new baby, but as soon as you feel good enough to move around more start looking for a new place. Hope this helps.