When should talk to your children about SEX!
Danyel - posted on 03/25/2009
I think i starts the first time they ask about "where do babies come from?" I have an 11 y.o. girl, and we have always been pretty straight forward with her. She knew why I have my period from a fairly young age, (7-8 I think). When her Aunt got pregnant with her first cousin (around the same age) I told her, in terms that she could understand, how and why it happened, and what was appropriate and what was not. We just got progressively more graphic as she got older. Since she started Jr. High, I have found that she really knows a LOT more than I did at her age, through television and friends. But we started laying the groundwork for how to conduct herself from a young age.
Also.... we have a saying in my house... whether you agree or not... "Do not have sex until you are ready to be a PARENT!" (And she knows what that means... have your own house, job, pay your own bills, can buy food and clothes for you and the baby/child, are willing to get up at 2am for feedings, etc... deal with all of the struggles of being a parents for AT LEAST the next 18 years......and preferrably MARRIED!!!!) Yes, trying to take all of the "cuteness" out of it, because we all know it is HARD! But worth it!!
Tracy - posted on 03/25/2009
I think it is never to soon to ttalk to them about sex my boys are 16, 14,9 and iI talk openly with them all If you dont somebody else will and I want my kids to know that they can ask me anything I dont want them to believe all they hear at school and from their friends
Mari - posted on 03/24/2009
Hi! I agree with Cathi. I'm a Christian lady, my daughters are 21 and 26 and I taught them about sex since they were todlers, just look for specializted Christian literature that will teach you how. It is more simple that you can imagine. My BBs have God's perspective about sex very deep in their lifes. No excuses to them. Blessings.
Cathi - posted on 03/24/2009
These days if you don't start talking to your child and building that barrier they will learn it from school in a very negative way. My son who is 11 years old informed me that there were two kids in his school that have naked pictures of girls on their cell phones AT 11 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!! I heard myself someone make the comment "So and so wants to rape you" while waiting at the school park to pick my son up... *sigh* .. I would have to say the earliest the better.
If we don't teach them the world will, and God didn't give us these children to allow the world to have the greater influence :)
April - posted on 03/24/2009
thats great shelly! I try to be open and honest with my kids, my folks didnt say much to me at all, so I figured things out from encyclopedias and talking to my older sister. I always promised myself I would not feel awkward--but its tough! and knowing how much info to give at what time is hard too. (funny ad about where did I come from dad? dad tells him the WHOLE story, the kid wide eyed says "wow, joey only came from cleveland!) it takes practice and time to get comfortable with it! but that is great for your kids that they are waiting and honest withyou! props~!
Shelly - posted on 03/23/2009
From the time they are small and ya never quit!!! We did that with ours and I'm proud to say that they are all still Virgins...(And yes I do believe them). We started with the birds andees when they were very young an just kept adding on as the years went by and to this day we still tak to them(22, 17 & 15) and we are very open with our kids about sex. Just make sure that your honest and give them real facts b/c they will call you on it...And if you open the dialog early then they will come to you with questions...
April - posted on 03/23/2009
just want to note, because its happened to me, that your child will ask a question or make a comment at an "inopportune time" and catch you off guard. There is nothing wrong with letting her look it up with you or telling her that you'd like more info before to make sure you give her the answer she needs.
Bryony - posted on 03/23/2009
I really think that you can start at any age and what you discuss depends on age and maturity - also on personnal circumstances. For example if you have a young child ask you why a certain person is pregnant. (I had to figure that out last year when my four year old asked about my brother-in-law's girlfriend) My mom discussed everything using a book with my sister and I when I was 5 and she was 6 because she had her period at 8 years old and had been terrified thinking she was dying. No one had explained it to her... I do think you should discuss it with them before they hear it at school or from other kids if possible so they hear it the right way from you first. Schools and peers don't very often portray a christian perspective - and abstinence is barely even mentioned. So basically if they ask, answer honestly but age-appropriate. If not, use your judgement or find out when they will talk about it in school and do it before that point. If you or someone in your family got your period early, make sure they know about it before that so they don't panic! My daughter walked in on me in the bathroom last summer (she was just turned 5) and I just explained that it is God's way of "cleaning" a woman's womb if they are not having a baby. You want to avoid getting too involved for their age, but still make sure they know what they need to to make good decisions and to avoid panic situations which are traumatic. Hope this helps.
Chantel - posted on 03/23/2009
We normalize the human body from day one speaking proper names of body parts, answering question honestly when asked and so forth. It seems that by age 10 children have the ability to comprehend much of what can be taught. For the most part, we teach anatomy and physiology of the body and let them ask questions from there. Using this style we are able to incorporate standards of chastity, explain why it is best and what developments their bodies will encounter as they mature. I would say that by 3rd/4th grade school children are talking about sex and some are even starting to experiment, so you want them to know first hand before this time. This is what has worked for us. My children have even witnessed childbirth through videos, which has spurred many questions.
April - posted on 03/23/2009
I think its an ongoing conversation. how old are your kids? my oldest is 8, and I have started talking to her about bodies changing, and what she can expect. they know the basics of how babies are born and a teeny bit about how they get there, but nothing too graphic yet, as they are still kinda young. I always stress friendship/relationships, that loving someone truly means loving them as God loves us, and caring more about what is best for them than about what we want for ourselves. Also, asking them questions about what you see on tv can get conversations started (why did they do that? what do they do on a date? what would be your ideal boyfriend/girlfriend? what does God say about (insert topic here) ) I do that with other subjects, and the kids really get into it, even my 3 year old will tell me what she thinks they should do differently on tv, and who is not being nice- she even recently got upset at the kids on tv for not saying the blessing before they ate a snack-lol hope this helps!
Heather - posted on 03/21/2009
I think that it depends on the child. You know your child better then anyone else. My kids are still very young, but we plan on talking with them before they start dating. When we see that they are starting to pay more attention to the opposite sex and talking about the guy or girl that they like. Definently before they go on their first date. That way we know that they don't have any questions and have a better idea of where everyone stands. Pray about it. If your children are Christians, dig into the Bible and back up what you are saying with scriptures.
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