Who do i put first God or my kids?

Anna - posted on 01/10/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

23

28

3

How as Christians do you other mom's put God before your children and husband. I find that my instincts as a wife and mother draw me to put my children and husband 1st and foremost in my life. Do you other mom's have any tips for how to Keep your focus on God in amongst a busy lifestyle as full time mom?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

God has to come first and foremost !!! Easier said than done, I know. But our kids come from Him, they are only lent to us. And yes, we love them dearly, but they are God's creations and not our own. It's great that you love your husband and your kids soooo much. And difficult to love God without being able to see Him. Abraham had to choose between God and his son ! And we have to choose God as well. He WILL look after our kids though, as He did with Abraham. I don't think there can be a straightforward answer to your question as to HOW, but keep focusing on HIM and HE will walk with you always.

Lisa - posted on 01/13/2010

2

15

0

As a mom & wife putting God first starting my Day off God makes the day go easy & well. My household trys me but I am learning to keep God as the head.

Lisa - posted on 01/13/2010

1

21

0

I agree with lots of what has already been said - by putting God first and taking care of yourself spiritually and keeping your relationship with God strong - you will be doing what's best for your family. You need a strong relationship with God to be an effective wife and mom. I like what I heard Dr. David Jeremiah once on the radio - "I"m a Person first, and my individual relationship with God as His creation comes first. Second, I'm a Partner and my relationship with my wife comes second - I will be her partner til my death, long after children have left home. Third, I'm a Parent, and my realtionship with my children come third." Those are healthy priorities. It doesn't mean that your children don't mean the world to you, but they come after your relationship with God and your husband.

Rachel - posted on 01/12/2010

254

20

25

I think the next question here is what does it mean to put God before our kids? As a working mom, it is very hard to balance work, spouse, child(ren), and relationship with God. So, for me it comes down to priorities and boundaries.

My priorities go: God, family (husband then children then other family), work/career. So, how does that work out in every day life? I'll give an example: I'm not a morning person, so I don't wake up early before everyone else to get prayer time in. My husband and I read the Bible together at night and in the morning, when I wake up, I read a little on my own. My son (I have one child with one on the way) can play quietly in his room until my husband or I get up and then we make breakfast. Some moms would gasp at this b/c I don't immediately respond to my son as soon as he wakes up. But, it really isn't necessary since he is 2 1/2. Obviously, when my new baby is born, there will be more urgency to meet feeding needs and so forth. This is an example of evaluating ways to prioritize God versus the needs of my child in the morning. My 2 1/2 yr old's need is to eat in the morning, but it is not necessary to do as soon as he wakes up. Therefore, the boundary can be adjusted to put God first chronologically for the day. My newborn will have a critical need that God expects me to meet and so my boundary of prayer/reading prior to getting up will need to adjust for the critical need of my child. Taking care of my children in a responsible manner honors God.

I think where we can get confused is when we try to meet all the expectations and wants of our children without evaluating true need. We need to identify which are real needs versus wants, and then beyond that which are needs that must be addressed in a certain way. There is a time management practice used in business that prioritizes to-do lists as either important or unimportant (or, for our illustration: need versus want) and then either urgent or non-urgent. Something that falls under important AND urgent, gets dealt with right away (like feeding a hungry newborn). Something that falls under important but non-urgent can be evaluated for the best time and opportunity to meet the obligation. This concept can be applied quiet easily to our households: we should evaluate the needs and wants of our household and then prioritize them. Sometimes, we should act promptly (ok, we shouldn't go to church today b/c someone needs to go to the hospital), but many other times the action can be undertaken at some other time, allowing us to instead prioritize our relationship with God - spending time in the Word, in prayer and in quiet time meditating on Him and listening for His voice as well as spending time in fellowship with other believers on a regular basis.

I hope that helps!

Victoria - posted on 01/11/2010

1,307

36

174

God must always come first....Mt 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)

I have to say I really like how the message version puts it, Mt 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
There is also this scripture,
Mt 10:37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; (NIV).

So it's certain that God must be first in our lives, the how is harder. It's an on going process, make sure you always have time (everyday) to spend in the scriptures. Attend worship and bible study services regularly (Don't forsake the Gods sabbath day or the fellowship of the believers). And as you seek to know Him, He'll make it clear revealing to you how & where else you need to be actively putting him first.

God is with us, He doesn't expect us to do it alone, we couldn't do it on our own anyway. But as you keep an open dialog with God (through prayer and praise), He is faithful to respond. Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ (NIV)

This conversation has been closed to further comments

41 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

I was told once that an easier way to think of this is to put God at the center of everything you do. I think of a circle and God is in the center then our Husband and children and so on. And as long as God is the center of your life you are living for him and are an example of his love.

Anna - posted on 01/14/2010

23

28

3

thank you heather for your post, really is most helpful. I have found just this morning a New connection with God,I found a verse in Psalms that truly speaks what I am currently experiencing "as the dear pants for the water, so my Soul longs after you, Oh God." I have a passion for God and Love to spend time in his presence..... but as a christian I am always in his presence as he is living in me. I stopped saying AMEN, at the end of prayer, just as a mental way of saying, I have never finished praying and God is always listening.
Ladies, God is good all the time, He is loving and merciful and knows that when your two year old needs the potty you will stop your 'quiet time" for that. I have the wiggles playing in the background as I read God's word, but it doesn't matter because God is still able to speak to me.
I hope you can all find a peace like this
God bless XxX

Maggie - posted on 01/14/2010

37

14

0

I found an excellent book that helped me with this very issue -- His Word in My Heart by Janet Pope. She lays out a plan to use the "idle" moments of your day to meditate and commune with God, like when you are doing dishes, laundry, etc. It is really awesome and life changing!



God has to come first, or you will fail as a wife and mother. If God isn't first in your life, then you will actually be giving your kids and husband your "second best." There is no short cut.

[deleted account]

Yes, God comes first. However, I've found since having my kids that He understands that I can't spend hours praying or studying the bible like I did before I had them. There's a scripture that talks about how He gently leads those with young - and that's us! My daily prayer time is in the shower in the morning, I occasionally get to read the Bible, but I've found that when I do find the time, the first thing I read God uses to just pour into me. He also uses other ways to speak to me - including my children, lol! He isn't just limited to the bible - if He has your heart, He can get your attention through almost anything. I'm not saying don't pray or read the Bible, I'm just saying keep some balance in it, and don't guilt yourself out over religious expectations of 'you HAVE to do so and so otherwise you're failing as a Christian' - it's just not true!

Lorin - posted on 01/14/2010

1

9

0

I always put God first because God give me my family I belive that its all his that have. i know that if there in a need of anything he will give it 2 us

Heather - posted on 01/14/2010

2

0

0

What is funny, well not funny, but I just had this converstion with my mom. It is something that we as moms will always be having to a balance of. I belive that is why Paul talks about a virgin can care for things of the Lord, while a wife must care for things of her husband. We have atendancey to get caught up in caring for the house, and babies, getting dinner ready, and next thing we know we are exhausted, and desperatly wanting that pillow under our heads. But one thing that I have found is htat is when I have my most tender moments with GOd. It when my flesh is gone, and I have nothing but my spirit left to give him. I have my most intement moments with him. I am tearing up just thinking about it. You find your self on your knees in the spirit lying there in bed just yearning for him. I believe that is how you are able to stay with him, heart contrite and before him, and how you are also able to keep your family sane. It is also imprtant that we have to keep our husband in our prayers. By doing that we are constantly keep our God in the forefront of our minds. I am not sure if this will be of help to you, but I hope so.

Anna - posted on 01/13/2010

23

28

3

Thank you all for your comments, a lot of it is stuff that i already know but thanks anyway. Especially Tracy Tregier, your reply was very encouraging, just what i needed thanks
Anna
x

Rowena - posted on 01/13/2010

1

8

0

Always make God your first option. If you choose Him first, the rest will come easy. Pray for his guidance quickly and quietly before making what may seem like simple life choices during your busy day. Give Him a chance to answer. This is not only good for guidance, but it also slows your pace a little during a busy day and helps prevent hasty unchristian-like decisions that you may regret/reep later. Our God is a great God and your children and husband will never suffer if you choose Him first.

Jerri - posted on 01/13/2010

9

22

1

First of all I really dont think that it is necessary to have to pick. God is always in your heart and by him being there he guides you in your relationship and your family life. I feel that by living ur life with love in ur heart and always trying to make the rite decisions for u and ur family u r doing what he wants.

Tracy - posted on 01/13/2010

61

23

14

I think u are putting God first by raising your kids in him. I believe he has given you them and they are your're first priority in him. and he knows your're heart. You wouldn't question if you wern't trying too put him first, and remember guilt is never from God :)

Teresa - posted on 01/13/2010

3

22

0

I agree with Gerda Im afraid, God must come first in everyway and then everything will slot into place after. Talk to God like you would talk to your husband, consult him about everything before you do stuff. If you were to take a holiday or buy something ask him first if you are making the right choices and he will let you know if your not. Put all your your trust in the Lord and your heart will be much lighter but that means not worrying about things you have asked him to sort out. Take care and may God Bless you and your family.

Mellinda - posted on 01/13/2010

9

4

0

God first! Without God...there would be no kids! When you need him because of your kids getting a case of the "stupids"...he'll be there to help! You and them! LOL. The kids will take your example and respect you for it and carry it forward!

Sherry - posted on 01/13/2010

1

28

0

I put God first & my children have been taught to do so as well. He is in control of our blessin's in this life & that includes children & husbands. I would actually be afraid of what could come into my life if I were to put HIM on the backbunner. It was so funny, last year right before my daughter turned six, she would go 'round sayin' I love my family but I love God more than Mommy & Daddy & my brother. It's comfortin' to know she has her priorities right at such a young age.

Chantal - posted on 01/13/2010

2

27

0

Take time to pray before you start your day always!!! Ask God to help you keep your focus and love on him and the family.

Addie - posted on 01/13/2010

2

15

0

you have to put god first.. include them in on it. by tilling them it is mommy's time with god and have them do the same, while you are reading your bible or just having prayer time have your children wright down( or drawl pics of) there questions about god or thing they have heard or Read in the bible, when your personal time with god is over for the day. sit down and go thought the children's questions or there prays with them and talk about it, find the answers in the bible with the kids..this will show the children how to spend time with god as well. I also find it easy to read my bible out loud with the kids,but its not always easy to have you eyes and hart on the word this way so i do not find what god is wanting me to see, but it show the kids that you need to get in the word of god to spend time letting him talk to you.

[deleted account]

Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added to you, when you make time for prayer and devotion you are prepared to do all your duties etc, and when you are doing things to take care of your family you are serving the Lord, Serve the Lord with gladness, come intoHis presence with singing! Psalm 100

God bless

angela

Selina - posted on 01/12/2010

3

13

0

Hi Anna, Some of the posts I've read I agree with..God First! That instinct you have is natural to all us mothers, I think God installed that in us women. However, God in his Word doesn't say he should be No.1 because he's a selfish God, but because He knows He is the source of all life and love. When we are connected to Him..the Source of unfathomable love, then His love can only spill over to fill the needs of your husband, and children. I'm certainly not perfect in this area as I've fallen short many times..but I know when I haven't honoured God first in my life, I find it really difficult to deal with life and just the everyday things that affect us as mothers & wives. God Bless

Mary - posted on 01/12/2010

1

2

0

god should always be first and for most ,because if it wasnt for god you wouldnt have those kids or husband,always remember god has to be first in everything you do or say he created you and everything you have is from him and we are just passing threw this life nothing we have is really ours to keep it is gods he just loans it to us,so dont forget keep god first ! jeannie butler

Tracy - posted on 01/12/2010

61

23

14

hi i used to put my kids first when they were little ..... it will get easier and it will change as they get older and God knows you're heart :)

Michelle - posted on 01/12/2010

71

30

1

I think we have to put God first in order to be the parents our children need us to be. That being said, God will understand if a sleep deprived mom needs a nap more than she needs to read the Bible! He knows we are only human!

Rabecca - posted on 01/12/2010

520

15

70

God , Husband , Kids . God has given us the other two to take care of but without making him first we cant hope to be sucessful with our marriage or family or at least be given the amount of blessings he wishes to give us in our home life

Kishna - posted on 01/12/2010

3

3

0

I am a busy mom and yes it is always hard to put anyone first before our kids but we have to step out on faith and trust what thus said the Lord. Put HIM first in EVERYTHING that we do. Meaning before we go out and about for our day talk to him first. Consult him before making any decisions. Once you establish that relationship with the LORD it becomes second nature. You learn to hear is voice, you lean that when you put an issue before him your phone rings or you geta text or email and BOOM he has given you a path or answer.
So yes your MOMMY instincts do draw us to our kids. But OUR GODLY instincts will draw us to HIM. It just takes prayer and faith.

Lisa - posted on 01/12/2010

1

1

0

I know how you feel. I have four children and I'm a full time college student, but If you put God first in everything you do he will honor you and show you how to put your family second it just takes some extra time and dedication to him. After all he put us first:) Good Luck I hope it helps.

Anne - posted on 01/12/2010

2,759

82

625

Hi Anna, It is so important to make God First Place in your life. He is the "Great I Am". Because of this,and His Great Love if we put God First over EVERYTHING and EVERYONE Husband, Children, and any other relatives or friends or anything in our lives we can only then truly be in God's Will.

Tammy - posted on 01/11/2010

7

11

1

In my heart I know that God is first above all. It is hard sometimes to rember that because of our instincts but rember with out God we would not exist. He is in us all and that may very well be why we love our children like he does us (his children) .

Sue - posted on 01/11/2010

5

19

1

I believe if God is first; everything else will fall in place; in the darkest times of my life, the peace and security of faith saw me through so much; I pray my children will know and have that peace and comfort that faith in God will provide

Gale - posted on 01/11/2010

2

20

0

It is a chanllege indeed. But, as an older Mom with grown children, grand children and great grandkids I would have to say putting God first will never let you down. God loves family and he choose you particularly for your husband and your children. You will sit the pace for your family and their relationship with God. God puts families together and families staying together is very important. He will never let you go in the wrong direction with either husban or children if you trust him completely with both. Many prayers and blessings.

Asper - posted on 01/11/2010

11

19

1

God is the perfect parent as we draw closer to Him our relationships with our children become stronger as well.

Mary Ann - posted on 01/11/2010

2

16

1

Always put God first and he will give you the time you need with your kids. God alwas has to first in our lives.

Cheryl - posted on 01/11/2010

46

14

10

Putting God first iswhat is best for our families. It teaches our children that they should do the same. I want God to be the most important thing to my children and I feel the best way to do that is to show them that he is the most important thing to me. My 5yr old daughter and I have actually been talking about this. I can't even express how proud I am when she says she loves God more than me.

Jamie - posted on 01/11/2010

16

20

3

With all the demands that being a wife and mother brings it can often seem really hard to make time for God. It may be easier than you are imagining. God honestly desires a relationship with you, so talk to Him, think about Him, rejoice with Him. You can do all of that while you are caring for you family. Don't get me wrong spending time alone in His word or in your prayer closet IS important but by setting your heart in His hands and by setting you gaze upon Him you are loving Him in a why that melts His heart. You'll be surprised how close and intimate your relationship with Him becomes just by hanging out with Him in your everyday routine. And as far as your family goes, they will be well taken care of... the overflow of your relationship with our Daddy will set the atmosphere in your house.

Blessings!

Heather - posted on 01/11/2010

4,634

42

1135

As far as tips go, I do spend quiet time by myself each morning before my family wakes up. But I believe it needs to be more then that. The how is different for each person. I have Scriptures posted all around my house to remind me of what God wants for me, and that he is here with me. But it's more then that too. It's applying God's Word to our lives. When we learn something from the Bible it is important to apply it to our lives. My life is constantly changing with the new things I learn from God's Word. We can put God first by applying his Word to our lives. For me right now that is applying Philippians 4:5 which says: Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

The Lord teaches each of us different lessons, it is our job to apply them to our lives.

Heather - posted on 01/11/2010

4,634

42

1135

When we put God first, he leads us to care for our families.

By putting God first, we choose to love others.
By putting God first, we choose to put the needs of others above our own.
By putting God first, we choose to be an example of Christ in our homes.

Putting God first helps me to be a better mother, a better wife. It helps me to handle the every day business of life better. It effects how I handle every situation in my life. It effects how I respond to my husband and children.

Putting God first doesn't mean neglecting our families to spend more time with God, but to let God infiltrate our lives and let his love shine through us onto our families and everyone else we meet. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, and my family can vouch for that. But by following what God wants for me, I believe that I am a better person for it, and my family can vouch for that too. They much prefer that I handle things in a godly way, then a selfish self serving manner.

[deleted account]

I don't see the conflict here. There is no way in which following God will ever cause you to put your children to the side. I would say that that would be an excellent way to know that you are NOT putting God first- if something you are doing is not what is best for your kids (and husband) then you are doing something selfish and/or not what God has actually called you to do at that time. It's been my experience that the only time I cheat my kids is when I am putting MYSELF first.

As far are time management, you are cheating your children when you do not make the time to spend with God. I find that I yell more, melt down, get depressed more and make less loving decisions when I am not in tune with God. Getting up 15 minutes earlier or taking time during naps to pray or read the Bible can make a huge difference in your whole day. My oldest was an early riser and I would just tell her, "You can get up and play in your room but you may not leave your room or yell or me until the sun comes up." haha In the summer I would say, "until the little hand is on the SEVEN". I would leave a sippy cup of water in her room and maybe some cheerios in a zipper bag. I would get up, have my tea, have my quiet time and then let her out and play with her. I am pretty much the most child-centered mom you could meet but my kids know that they will like me a LOT better if I spend my time with God!

Mary - posted on 01/11/2010

10

3

1

God should always be first because he gave us our children and our husbands but if it were not for god then we would not make it trough the tough days as moms and wifes he gives us the strength and courage to get through our days.Even when we don't know how we did it but we did it with god. And when we put him first everything else falls into place.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms