Your child's diet/ eating habits

Darcel - posted on 08/04/2009

Thank you call. Your opinions really help me think about how I eat and what I feed my boy.

Lynda - posted on 08/01/2009

I agree with Julie. Allow them to make their choice and try to modify the amount. This teaches them to look at what is in front of them without forcing them to give up the things they enjoy. And you really cannot step into a parent-child conversation. Praying for both of them, because there is pain on both sides, is best.

It is hard to change bad eating habits -that is why I used to wait for my kids to go to sleep before I ate ice cream. But now I know that they could see it when I started gainign weight! So I work harder to be better so they can see m really try.

We are all works in progress..

Juli - posted on 07/31/2009

I agree with the other ladies...

Yes, we as moms are 'responsible' for our kids' actions, but when it comes to eating we have hopefully been building a good foundation because by the time they are 10, they should be able to make their own decisions with a little positive reinforcement when they make really good choices. Decision making is a skill that should be practiced- most of us learn by experience. :)

We live in the REAL world and sometimes we all splurge a little. I'm a believer of everything in moderation.

I know we all cringed when we read this because we know that in that situation she is pushing her child to defy her wishes because he is embarrased. That being said I am sure mom is dealing with her own food/exercise issues and simply wants very much to prevent this from happening to her child. Ironically, it's behavior like this that pushes the other person to hide food and binge...

I think if it were me when my turn to order came I would have said "No thanks, I'm not ordering another sandwich- we're sharing this one!" and given him a really big smile, then ordered fruit on the side for dessert...

Really, life is so much easier in the rear view mirror than in the moment, isn't it?

Shelly - posted on 07/31/2009

Darcel,

Before I answer your questions I just want to say that we are our childrens most important teachers and they learn more from our actions than from what we try to tell them....So now to answer your questions....



1. No you do not change his order at that time, but you can use it for a learning moment and when you are sitting there eating you can explain to him that what he is eating is not the healthiest choice and make suggestions for your next trip...Or you should of talked to him long before that trip to Subway. And the second part is No it's not your fault because by the age of 10 our children know what they like and don't like and we as parents need to allow them to make thier choices and all we can do is talk to thwm and let them know that thier choices are not very good ones....But this conversation is mute if your sitting there eating a double bacon loaded up with all the fatting sauces...



2. No you do not have the right to chastise your child right there in front of God and every body. Ask your self how you would feel as an adult to have someone yelling at you what your eating is unhealthy? Not talking but yelling!!!Do ya think that maybe that child just put the wall up and didn't really hear a word she was saying???



3. No, you was not wrong for not saying anything b/c it would of made it worse for the child, and if the mother treated some she loves in that manner how do you think she would of treated you for stepping in nad defending her son???



4. YES,

you are to practice what you preach. One of my biggest pet peeves is when you have parents that have the attitude of "DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO" And yes round is a shape..maybe not a healthy shape but a shape none the less...LOL No, you do not have the right to publiclly chastice your child for making a choice...Look at it this way God gave us the freedom of choice and with that freedom we will have to pay the price for thiose choices some good some not so good, but we are always forgiven God does not hold it against us he corrects us but never publicly it is done in the privacey of our hearts...So why should we treat our children any differently than the Lord treats His children...



Bottom line if you have not taught your child by the age of ten what is healthy choices and whats not then the only person that you have to blame is the one that stares back at you in the mirror every morning...It's not a bad thing to just off the healthy wagon once in a while but not an every day thing....

Tammy - posted on 07/31/2009

1. That's really not a horrendous choice. It's not like he ordered a Big Mac and large fries, but yes, it is the mom's responsibility to make sure her child eats correctly.

2. Yes, the way she talked to her son- in public no less- is ridiculous and offensive. There are a hundred other, nicer ways she could have told him that she didn't think his order was healthy enough.

3. Getting between an angry mother and her offspring = really stupid. You did the right thing staying out of it.

4. There is a certain amount of "do as I say, not as I do" in parenting. There shouldn't be and it is wrong but it is better to be a hypocrite than to just let your child fall into your same bad habits. I'm not a perfect Christian either but that doesn't stop me from trying to guide my children into being a BETTER one than me! As far as making a big, loud deal about it in public, though- that just made her look like an idiot.

Those are my thoughts! :-)

Anne - posted on 07/30/2009

I agree with Julie. The only thing I would add is if you had spoken up it could have gotten uglier. I have been in line places when a parent has been very rude and yes disrespectful
to their child. Even though I have wanted to speak up I have stayed silent and just Prayed for both of them.

Julie - posted on 07/30/2009

This is a hard topic. Do we speak up with public rebukes or not? I tend to live on the side of not. Unless it's an abusive situation (like someone is getting physically hurt.) However, I believe that yelling at your child in public can be abusive.

All that said, you are right in saying it is her responsibility to make sure her child eats properly and not berate him for obviously teaching him to eat the way he does. I agree with you on all your points. However, I would say, in this situation that speaking up to the mom would have been out of order. Despite the fact that she is in the wrong, she didn't ask for advice from you and so it falls into the "mind your own business" category. At least in my book. However, I would have been tempted as you were to say something! I've changed my 15 year old's order before so I share your views. Unfortunately, she is the one who will stand responsible for her own children. She's probably saying to him what she knows she needs to do herself. That's usually what people who need to be doing something but don't want to tend to do - they refer it to someone else. In this case, it was her poor son. Sad situation. And I feel for the kid.

Julie - posted on 07/30/2009

This is a hard topic. Do we speak up with public rebukes or not? I tend to live on the side of not. Unless it's an abusive situation (like someone is getting physically hurt.) However, I believe that yelling at your child in public can be abusive.

All that said, you are right in saying it is her responsibility to make sure her child eats properly and not berate him for obviously teaching him to eat the way he does. I agree with you on all your points. However, I would say, in this situation that speaking up to the mom would have been out of order. Despite the fact that she is in the wrong, she didn't ask for advice from you and so it falls into the "mind your own business" category. At least in my book. However, I would have been tempted as you were to say something! I've changed my 15 year old's order before so I share your views. Unfortunately, she is the one who will stand responsible for her own children. She's probably saying to him what she knows she needs to do herself. That's usually what people who need to be doing something but don't want to tend to do - they refer it to someone else. In this case, it was her poor son. Sad situation. And I feel for the kid.