How do I get my child to continue band in school?

Raquel - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son plays the saxophone in school. He is a 7th grader and has been playing since 4th grade. He is one of two of the best in the school. He wants to quit. What do I do?

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Ellen - posted on 06/29/2011

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Give him a choice ask if he wants to try another instrument. He might be getting board,

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My son played in a 5A State Champ band for 3 1/2 years. It was great discipline, and a wonderful school organization. It is alot of time. You do know where your child is! In college, these kids can get scholarships, teach private lessons for money.



We required our kids to be involved in some school activities. Our school is 3,000 kids. You need to be involved. If he gets out of band, he needs a group. If there are other things he enjoys and can become a part of, then it is his choice.

We made our kids do scouts, church, something physical and musical. As they age, they begin to find the ones they love.

Kristina - posted on 02/15/2010

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I would encourage him to try one year of high school band. Does he get to be in marching band? My son plays the french horn and mellophone. He liked it ok in Middle school but loves it High School. Marching band is a whole new thing. He is blossoming in a way I never expected. It is also a great way to meet new people. Now my oldest son, hated marching band. He dropped it after one year. He join the jazz essemble. My daughter dropped out all together. It is different for each one. Pray and encourage. That is the best.

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I believe in committment too, so he should finish out the year, but as for next year . . . both of you have to pray about it. The Lord puts all of our desires on our hearts, as well as our talents and gifts. This is a job for the Holy Spirit. You and your son have to walk in God's will. The question is, does the Lord want him to play or not? Listen to the Holy Spirit, he'll let you know!

Patti - posted on 04/15/2009

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Hi, I am a Christian parent and a middle school band director, and have master's degreee in saxophone performance. Does your son say why he wants to quit? Is it a problem with the teacher, does he not enjoy the music they play, or are most of his friends invovled in other things? I would encourage your son to stick it out another year as high school band is very, very different from middle school. Has he auditioned for honor bands, all-state, solo and ensemble, or county honor bands? If he can have the challenge of working up the audition materials for these types of opportunities, he will play with the better students from multiple schools in your area. You might ask the band director about that. Another thought is to get him private lessons which will challenge him in another way and very much as an individual. Sometimes talking to the teacher can help a lot. You will learn things about what goes on in the classroom that may not seem important to your child, but may give you some insight into his frustration. I would really try to get him to stick with it until high school when he has marching band, band trips and all that fun stuff to keep him motivated.

Linda - posted on 02/16/2009

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I tell my kids that once they commit to being part of the team, then they need to stick it out until the season or year is over. After that, if they decide to refrain from joining again, I don't call that quitting or a lost cause. They have come away with some good life lessons.

Shelly - posted on 02/16/2009

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Raquel,



  Is there something else he wants to do?  Like sports or someother school activity.  With him boing one of the top kids he maybe board.  I don't know where you live but have you check with your local philharmonic.  Some of them have childrens programs that he could get involved in and maybe that would challange him.  Check with your local fine arts society.  In school they seemto play the same thing each and every year and it sounds like he has mastered that he may just needs the challange.  Talk to him see if thats what it is!!!  If it's just hes not interested any more then you really can't force him or he will just give up on it.  Lots of Luck let us know what you decide 

Jenn - posted on 01/29/2009

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That is a tough one.  I have a 7th grade daughter who plays the Clarinet and is very good at it as well.  She also wants to quit.  She loves playing the clarinet, she just doesn't enjoy being in band.  Mainly because she isn't challenged enough, sits there a lot while the teacher works with the other students, and I think there might be a little bit of personality clash.  I mentioned to her that quitting is usually never the right thing to do.  In this case I mentioned that others are looking up to her and she has helped them in one way or another, so if she quits then they would think it is ok to quit too.  I am big on once you have committed to something it is important to stick with it whether you like it or not.  There is too much non committment in todays youth and adults for that matter, so I really feel it is important for us to teach our youth that committment isn't always fun or easy, but it sure is satisfying when you have completed it. :)    

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