Meg - posted on 07/15/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )
My daughter is now 28 , unmarried and pregnant for the fourth time. I am having a hard time handling this one. I thought she would straighten herself out after the first time. She was 19 then and had a live in boyfriend who was only 16 and still in high school.She ended up having a miscarriage. We forgave her and moved on thinking she had learned her lesson and that would be the end of it. She ended up marrying him; got pregnant again and had a child; then got a divorce. Now she has moved in with another boyfriend and gotten pregnant 2 more times. ( the last time ended in a miscarriage as well but this time she's past that point). I wouldn't speak to her the last time for months. She was very angry; would text me and ask me when I was going to be ready to "talk." Other times she would talk to my husband and cry. Obviously it was just an act because here she is again. For the longest time i blamed myself. I felt that it was her way of rebelling late in life. She never got into trouble in high school but she butted heads with me alot. She has always been very strong willed.
I'm not sure how to handle this one. Many of her friends and even our non Christian relatives have congratulated her.My husband and I have no support. All I get from people is " don't worry about it. She is grown and there's nothing you can do." Absolutely true but as a mom it's not that easy. I still really care about her but at this point am not ready to face her if this is the way she is going to live. Am also struggling with "letting go". I would like to think that the way she was raised had an impact on her life. We were always a close knit family ( had 4 kids) and we took our kids to church and tried to instill Christian values. I don't know what went wrong. My other 3 kids are not rebellious. I have prayed and prayed about this and lost so much sleep. At this point I cannot talk to her because I am so upset about this situation. She thinks my lack of contact with her is a control issue ; not true. I just need to take a step back and breathe. I am not ready to face this yet. We have moved 5 times in the last 10 years and I have no one to talk to. Any suggestions?