Being strong in our faith

Michell - posted on 04/19/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I am new to church, being a Christain, and have a three year old son. I have stong values, and believe what the bible says.....the problem is worldly things. Possesions and things you just have to get. I love my life, I have been married for seven years and love my hubby. I get conflicting feelings when my friends (who by the way dont have the life style and beliefs I do) tell me what a good time they had at the bar, or with a man. I want so bad to tell them they are only happy in the moment and I am happy for life. But it's hard, because I sometimes want what they are experiencing. I feel bad, and pray about it at the end of the day, like I should be happy with what I have and not want what someone else has. I can only hope that this is normal, and there are some of you out there that are willing to share your advise.

Thanks Michell

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Julie - posted on 05/01/2010

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Michelle, It is very normal to be in your situation. This is why Jesus and the apostles talk about it in the Bible. Everyone has given you wonderful advice. I would like to make a point that you really need to surround yourself with other Christian women. My suggestion is to join a women's Bible Study or a Bible Study you and your husband can attend together. This will fulfill that desire to get out and have fun. You will develop close relationships with other Christians and be able to replace the old activities with wholesome activities you can also invite your non-christian friends to and they hopefully will see the joy of Christ in you and your christian friends and realize that their fun is temporary and unfulfilling.

Margaret - posted on 04/21/2010

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God said let them be in the world not of it.Share what u learn from the bible, from otherr chrstians and pray when approriate for hubby and friends,For an opportunity to share and pray for them God will grant it and keep Him in your house and take kids to church!God Bless praying for faith for hubby!

Heather - posted on 04/19/2010

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Hi Michelle, the best advice I can give you is to study the Bible! Get God's Word into your heart, and know how He feels about such things. Then you can combat your own fleshly desires, with knowing God's Word. For example, if you are feeling like you are being left out because they are going drinking, remember that God's Word tells us that we are not to get drunk (Galatians 5:21) and remember that if we truly love God, then we obey His commands (1 John 5:3). I hope that can help you some.

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Cindy - posted on 05/20/2010

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Michell, Satan knows you are a new christian and he is prowling. If he can make you feel weak and ineffective then he is winning and doing his job as he is making you doubt. Get in and stay in the Word of God. It is the rule book for your life as God planned it. STAY STRONG-God Bless

Rebecca - posted on 05/20/2010

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It is hard when you first give up your life to Christ. The Bible says we must die to the old things or old ways and make new ones just as Christ has given us a new life. When we start comparing our lives to those of others we open the door to Satan and let him have a way into our lives. This breeds jealousy. One of the ten commandments is to not envy our neighbors things. You must pray continually about this and ask God to put his desires into your heart. When you start to envy your worldly friends just remember where they will end up and where you will end up and pray for their salvation. In the end you will have far more than they can dream or imagine. It is also a good idea to start making some close Christian friends who share your beliefs and will encourage you and help you along this path not hinder you with worldly wants and desires. Search for a MOPS or MOMS group close by, join a bible study or young adult class that has other mothers close to your age or with kids close in age to yours. Find Christian friends who share your interest this will help to combat the worldly thoughts.

Anne - posted on 05/20/2010

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Michell:
I am willing to bet that many of us have encountered this along our Christian journey. In my own life, God was busy working while I wasn't watching. I too had some good friends, one in particular, she was my best friend. We had been best friends for 13 years, did everything together, if we didn't talk 3 -4 times a day, something was wrong. But then something happened,and I found myself in a personally devestating situation. In the beginning she was right there, but after a few weeks, when it all began to sink in for me, I became depressed, frighteningly depressed, and seculded myself from everyone as that was all I could do to survive. Everytime I tried to talk about my situation I had such horrific anxiety attacks, the doctors had me on hefty doses on antidepressants and anti anxiety medications. Well, I didn't respond to her in the time she thought I ought to of, I emailed her, but couldn't call, I couldn't speak, literally. She abruptly stopped speaking to me. I was confused, hurt, angry and couldn't understand why, what had I done? Shouldn't she ought to have respected me and loved me enough to simply support me? Then I began to think, she had lost every good friend in her life in the same type of manner; when she was not the center of my universe, she became angry as if it were a betrayl of some kind. I had peace though in knowing I did nothing wrong, but it didn't stop the hurt. So, I gave it to God. I raised her and her family up to God. But now, a few years later, I see God all over that. She was not a Christian (she believed in God but didn't practice a life style of a Christian), she was on her 4th marriage, treated her husband horribly, was very self centered, angry, restenful, all about having the best of the best, drank frequently to the point of being drunk, etc...

As we have grown in our faith and become outward Christians, we have lost other friends too, simply because we no longer have the same values. However, God has filled our lives with people that do share our values, support us unconditionally, and walk this path with us. While we didn't notice the subtle changing of friends, we now see God's hand, He knew these people would be destuctive to us, especially my 'best friend'. It would have come to a choice of her or God and she would have lost anyway. God aligned us with the most wonderful and sincere people. We never understood why some Christians would say they had few to no non Christian friends and what hippocrites they were, etc... But now we understand. We bring the gospel to the unsaved and those friends who wanted to hear it and respect us are still in our lives and those who did not, are not. It doesn't stop us from loving them, praying for them, and still trying to share Jesus Christ with them. We have bbq's and game night etc.. in which we invite our Christian friends and non Christian friends and one of our die hard non Christian friends recently said "You Christians aren't so bad" that was huge for him as he equates Christianity with boring rule followers, think you are better than everyone people.

My thought is, let go and let God. Go where God is leading your heart, trust in Him, He will fill your life with the folks that are supposed to be in it. Perhaps He is using you as a tool to bring the gospel to your friends, show them the word and what Jesus says about their choices and behaviors. Understand they are not going to embrace your message at first, they are not going to say Hey thanks for showing me how horrible I am...so be careful not to communicate his message in that manner. Pray on this and listen to what God is calling you to do.

We'll be praying for you!
Anne

Anita - posted on 05/19/2010

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I can relate totally as life is hard and when your friends take the wider path and it appears their life is more desireable. romans 8:37 promises that we are more than conquerors.

I find that helpful in this context as christians we have chosen the narrow path. What helps me is to remember to talk to God when I feel like this and to reach out to a christian sister who understands!
Your sister in christ,
Anita

Rita - posted on 05/05/2010

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Michell,you need to get new friends. If these are Church friends you are referring to , you need to find a Bible believing and teaching Church.
The Bible tells us to "come out from among them and be ye separate". Christians are a " chosen" people. We are to become increasingly more Christlike.
Have you actually asked Christ to forgive you of your sins and come and live in your heart as Savior and Lord?
If so,He will give you the grace you need to resist evil influences as you pray each day, asking for His divine help....
Let me know if I can be of further help.

Kathy - posted on 05/02/2010

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Michell,
I am a Mom and a Grandmother and I have been a Christian for many years. The situation you have is difficult but the Bible tells us to also reach out to others who do not share our beliefs, This will enrich their life even more through your beliefs which comes from our Lord. I believe that it is alright to have a drink or two but not to be drunk. There is a big difference. I think the main thing is to be aware of how you feel. I had some good advice from a friend once who told me. "If you think it's a sin, it probably is." In other words, It's a matter of conscience for you. You may not want to drink alcohol and if that is how you feel, That is okay. Everything in moderation. I believe there is so much going on in the world, wanting to have the best cell phone and the best car and on and on but I believe we should be content with what we can afford and to love and take care of our family. It sounds to me that you are on the right track, Don't give up your faith, Remain steadfast and Lean on the Lord in all things, good and bad. God bless you. Kathy

Monica - posted on 05/02/2010

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I to am a new Christian , I have also been on the other side of the fence, bars, dancie clubs ect. But you know what, I am so much happier where I am at now in my walk with Christ. I still miss it a little but then I remember what a struggle life was then and how blessed I am now, and I wouldnt trade it for the world. Good luck to you. And God Bless.

Cherri - posted on 05/02/2010

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You've already received some great advice from these ladies. I would just add how important it is to find godly friends who have the same values as you and want to please the Lord in their lives. You will find great encouragement in your walk with the Lord if you surround yourself with them. Then, when you are with others that entice you with wrong behavior or thoughts, you will be much stronger. It is SO worth it! I have been a Christian for 38 years, and I have never been sorry for living a life that honors and glorifies the Lord! My favorite Bible verse that I'd like to leave with you is Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." I just wrote your name down and will make it a matter to pray for you.
Cherri Cooper - Massachusetts

Kylene - posted on 05/01/2010

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I feel your pain. I got saved 3 years ago on May 18. I still struggle with exactly what you are describing. I pray that we can both find comfort in the Word and knowing that being a Christian means living for eternity rather than fleeting worldly pleasures.

Amy - posted on 05/01/2010

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Michelle:
It is normal to feel that way. You are doing what you should by praying about it. You know that you have chosen the right way and the true way. You are truly blessed to know the truth now and sooner or later your friends will ask you why you are so happy and how can they achieve it. Know you are loved by Someone greater than the world.

Adrienne - posted on 04/29/2010

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I know exactly how you're feeling. I have only been in church for 9 months, but I already have changed my life around for God more than I ever thought I would. I started reading the Bible, praying, and doing my best to be a good Christian. I have a few friends who do bad things, and I think of how much fun it used to be when I did them too. But then I think to myself, my life is even better now that I have God in it. He's taking control of my life, and I am reaping the benefits. I found a job, I have a wonderful family, and I have new wonderful Christian friends who are there for me whenever I need them. This life is so much better than my old one. Just keep your faith. If others see you live your life for God, and they see the blessings he is giving you in return, eventually they will follow.

Alicia - posted on 04/22/2010

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Hi Michell, I have had similar problems. My husband and I were saved a mere 2 years ago and we have a 9 year old, 5 year old, a 4 year old, and one on the way. Everything changes when you accept Jesus. Suddenly, everything in your life that you used to think "wasn't a big deal" before seems wrong and unbiblical. That's the Holy Spirit working in your heart and warning you of sin. The best advice I can give to you is to really study the word and pray for God's guidance. I honestly had to refrain from being around my old friends as much as I used to. I would strieve to find friends at your church. Talk to those who have the same values as you and surround yourself with believers. If your friends are not open to talking to you about God, then I would live by examle for them. And don't get discouraged...The life style that the world offer is enticing. It is a constant temptation and our flesh desperately calls out for it. It happens to us all. When that happens, keep praying. Focus on your family and the word of God. Pray for new people to come into your lives that will be an encouragement and an example for your family. I hope that this helps you and you will find peace in your new salvation.

Bonnie - posted on 04/22/2010

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I've been a Christian for many yrs. And, have been tempted by the devil more than you can imagine. I was raised in a Christian home and gave my heart to Jesus at 5yrs old. My big sister *17yrs older than me* held my little hand and led me to the alter when I asked her to. She just passed away Feb25,2010. I KNOW she is w/Jesus now. I miss her so. I have fallen away many times. The closer you get to God, the more the devil wants you back. Especially if he's had a hold on you before.THIS I DO KNOW! Been there, done that, bought the shirt, fell for his lies that the scene my friends were in was a "good time". But, I've come to realize that God is ALWAYS there for me, and he is a forgiving God and I've always come back to him. I struggle daily with life and what it hands me and ask myself why bother? But...I KNOW the TRUTH! The devil is a liar, we can't take it with us and no alcohol, partying, drugs, or any of the other stuff is going to take the pain away or be FUN when we are standing before God. Just rebuke him (outloud, if even in a whisper) say..satan get behind me, I don't belong to you anymore, I belong to Jesus. HE is my savior and I surround myself w/a legion of Angels that you cannot get thru. I cover myself in the blood of Jesus that he shed for me!! I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ!! HE WILL RUN!!! And, fast..it says in the Bible he hides just at the sound of the name of Jesus. I don't know if this helps..I pray it will. We all are struggling. I believe we are in the end times. And, how wonderful will that be to see Jesus coming thru the clouds?????!!!!!!! This has become an ugly world and I always say..I am an alien..this is NOT my world, I am NOT of this world! :) God Bless YOU Michell.... You will be in my thoughts and prayers! ~bonnie felix Salem, OR

Andrea - posted on 04/21/2010

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Make friends at your church. Spending more time with like-minded people will cause the world to have less appeal. You will find lots of fun to be had with your brothers and sisters in the Lord. Christian friends also help keep you accountable. When you are having a weak moment, you can call one of your Christian friends and they will lift you and help you through.

I'm praying for you!

Michelle - posted on 04/20/2010

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Michell, Carla is a very wise lady. Take heed and comfort in her advice. We too have faced some of the very same difficulties as yourself. God has given you all that you need. Each time you look at your child think of Hannah whose heart's desire was to give her God a servant and her husband a son, what more could a mom want?

Carla - posted on 04/20/2010

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Pumpkin, we all battle these things. Satan is very sneaky and doesn't miss a chance to poke you with someone's new car, or new diamond, or what fun I had at the bar last night. Being a Christian means we crucify the flesh. This expression tells us very clearly this is not going to be easy and certainly not unpainful. We, as humans, have the flesh side and the spiritual side. There's a tug-of-war going on 24/7. That we resist the temptation to go buy a new car, even if we can afford it, but don't need it, shows God is working with us. Paul tells us to life a modest life so we will have money left over to give to missions, someone in need, etc. Paul had it made before he became a Christian. He was the darling of the temple body, they lavished money on him to go round up the Christians and bring them to trial. He had a horse, and no one but the rich had a horse. In one moment, he was knocked off his horse, struck blind, and had his life turned upside down. He went from hair-haired temple-hero to being lowered in a basket down the city wall to keep from being killed. After that, he was ship-wrecked, beaten, stoned, snake-bit and various other things that would make most Christians run for cover. He made tents during the day, and wrote the whole New Testament and converted most of the known world at night. What was his response to his change in fortune? I count what I left in the world as manure, so that I can preach Christ. I have learned that in whatever state I find myself, I will be content.



Start reading Acts and go to Titus. Paul's words to the Church are so utterly simple, love God, love your neighbors, show the world what a Christian is. We are not judged by what we drive, but how we drive. We are not judged by what we live in, but how we live. Your house will decay, your car rust, but the treasures you lay up in your heart will last you forever. Jesus said 'where your treasure is, there will your heart be also'. Good words, Jesus!



Renew your mind, Michell, daily with the Word. Stay in the New Testament and read how Jesus lived His life, how Paul lived his life. These are our patterns and examples.



God bless you, sweetie.

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