Help, my 9 yr. old son is an emotional wreck, what can we do?

Barbara - posted on 02/03/2010

This last year I read an amazing book about raising little boys called Raising Cain. Barnes & Nobles has it or can order it for you. I truly believe that if the information in this book was listened to, adopted by parents/teachers/grandparents, and practiced by all those dealing with little boys, it would have the power to change our world, certainly the lives of little boys. Please take time to read it and consider the message.

Marcia - posted on 02/03/2010

My daughter, now 16 was the same way in the first grade. She was diagnosed with ADD and the doctor put her on medication. The teachers at school saw a great improvement in her behavior. However, at home, I saw the life drained out of her. She was no longer my happy out going little girl. As a matter of fact, when she was at home, all she wanted to do was cry and sleep. She didn't stay on the medication long. She did continue to stay in public school until the third grade. I got calls all the time. I tried to work with the school, but they had made their minds up, that she was going to be a problem. One day, her third grade teacher asked to talk with me. The teacher had come up with what she thought was a wonderful new approach. She had taken my daughter up in front of the class and explained that she was "special" and if the students should help her "fit in". The teacher had also found an empty classroom not far from hers. It was now where my 8 years daughter would spend her time, when she had completed her work, so she wouldn't distract the other children. (alone with no supervision) Thinking back, I know I didn't act in a Christian manner when hearing this. God forgive me i am only human. I told the teacher I thought maybe we should start home schooling. She had the nerve to say that this would be a bad idea, because my daughter would not ever learn the proper social skills if I pulled her away from her pears. As controlled as I could, I explained that marking her as "special" and isolating her would do a lot more damage than teaching her at home. That was her last day at public school. She responded very well to home school. She has many friends and is involved in many activities. So, to make a short comment long, meds are not always the answer. Please don't rush into them. Pray, look into counseling and alternative educations and as a last resort know that meds are out there that do work.

Rabecca - posted on 01/31/2010

have you had him evaulted for ADHD i know what you re going through that was my life when my son was in kindergaren shortly after he was dx'd with ADHD my son is very very smart but he also has extrem anxiety and emtins just send him over the edge and even the tiniest things that dont seem like a big deal just effect him very deeply and at these times he can become very hyper or disrepectful or rageful I was very no meds for my son to until I just really undestood e was suffering and it was effecting his mental well being and it was a long journey to find what worked for him and gav him the best and fullest life he deserved and now hes so much happier and still smiling and funny not the dreaded zombie you are told you will make them into if you medicate and I truly believe God had lead me to doctors that could really see my desire to help him not just control him because I never really had to much of a hard time with him one on one he may have to be tolld the same thing a 100 times and remind him what I asked even after that but home was good and where he wanted to be but school was so hard for him and he has never made friends very easily but today he excells .

we do do things such as no artifica ldyes this can be huge in helping contol anger and impluses you can just see the difference in my sons eyes when he has dyes and we give him omga 3 it helps with brain function and it really does seem like he just has that tool to help him think thing throgh and make better choices but whatever you do pray and ask God to guide you as a parent trust in him he will see you both through if its to medicate not is a very personal choice for me I really think God guided me to where we are now with the help of medication and great doctors for you it may or may not be but he knows what he wants for you both just ask him to lead and follow where ever that maybe

Emily - posted on 01/31/2010

prayers do help couceling can help him ttooo we have an asberger son they grow up eventually mine is now 19 and catching up with everyone and learning to be calm we started to homschool him but maybe the school counceler could help too hang in there

Janice, - posted on 01/31/2010

Pray for God to show you how to handle it. If you have exsausted your ideas tell the lord that and lay his issues at the lords feet and he will take care of them. Have you tried anointing him by the elders of the church? This is what helped my grandson .sincerely.

Jenn - posted on 01/31/2010

Thanks ladies for your input. Have any of you heard or know much about Asperger's Syndrome? After doing some research and reading up on it my husband and I feel that this may very much be a big part of what our son has. At least we will now kind of know maybe how to deal with him and help him succeed in life.

Chelsie - posted on 01/30/2010

My daughter had some of the same. She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was about 2 years old, hun. So, I kind of can relate to what you are going through right now. My biggest advice for you as his Mamma is patience. Because without it your strength goes right out the window.

As to your son... In some cases medication is necessary, but I share your same feeling about the medications that are out there for this specific thing... I wasn't for it at all either, but because we ran out of options... My daughter was placed on it for one week... After seeing how the medication affected her. I yanked her from it. And my husband & I pretty much told ourselves that we were in for a long road ahead & that we would have to gain much patience to keep strong... This happened 3 years ago, hun & to this day our daughter has not been back on any of that medication. And thanks to the Lord, she doesn't exhibit any of the same symptoms she had from the ADHD either.

Now, as to your son... You may consider homeschooling... And it is up to you about medication & all that, but in some kids medication does help them much more than them not being on it. I think it all depends on symptoms & how bad that they are... And there are lots of therapy's out there for this specific thing too that sometimes helps. Prayer is awesome & our situation is proof that prayer does work & that it is oh so powerful... But sometimes we have to rely on God's people to help us, too. So, if I were you - I would just look into some different things & see if any of it may benefit your son in any way... My best advice I can give you is to have patience with it all though. Because we all draw our strength from that patience... God Bless You & Your Family & Blessings To You God Speed!!!

Rosemary - posted on 01/29/2010

I also have a 9 year old son that has many fears and anxieties. I was wondering if I should send him to a Christian counselor as well to see what is going on with him. I want some Godly advice for him. He also is not doing the best in school. I had him repeat the 1st grade already. I don't want to put him on medication either. I have been trying to read the "Power of a Praying Parent" from Stormie Omartian and trying to pray the Scriptures for your child. I'm really putting my trust in God and believing that he is going to heal him of these fears. My husband and I are also attending a bible study at our church called Fearless by Max Lucado and I hope to pass on whatever I learn to my son.

Lynn - posted on 01/29/2010

Great advice. My life was changed forever by biblical counseling!

April - posted on 01/29/2010

I will be praying for you and your son. Lynn's prayer was beautiful. How about Christian counseling for your son? BY Christian councilor I mean a trained councilor who is a believer and will help you son deal with his emotions and approaches the problem with a Christian perspective. Again, I'm praying God will put people in your path who can help you and your son.

Lynn - posted on 01/28/2010

Father in Heaven, you know all that is going on in Jenn and her son's lives. Please give her clear direction and wisdom to care lovingly and patiently with her son. And help this young guy learn to trust in the One who calmed the storm. In That Wonderful Name I pray, Amen. From the mom of a son with special needs and a daughter with ADHD!