Home school, private school or public school?

Angela - posted on 04/29/2013

Laura, you say your 5 year old has classmates whose mothers are aged 40 - 50? I'm assuming these ladies either had their families late in life OR their own little ones were the youngest of a larger brood where the oldest children were born to mothers when they were in their 20's?

I don't feel you should feel uncomfortable simply because there's an age gap between you and the other parents, but sometimes there's an insidious "in-crowd" and I'm afraid you're more likely to find this kind of thing in a supposedly "better" school. My friend, a single parent who didn't have a job, applied to her child's school to be a school governor. They were very pleasant at the interview, taking on board her views and suggestions politely and with interest - then they said "So what do you do for a living? And what does your husband do?" My friend, an intelligent woman who wanted to have input to the way her child's school was run, was absolutely crushed ......

I can't really offer any guidance, but just wanted to validate your feelings & concerns.

Carla - posted on 04/29/2013

I'm a little biased here, Laura. My children all attended public school, but it was a small school district, and the kids all knew each other. It was also 20 years ago, and things were just starting to go side-ways in the education realm. I have grandchildren in public, Christian and charter schools. My son and dil are taking their children out of Christian school because they don't have the means to educate our little granddaughter who has had quite a few challenges in her little life. The grandkids in public school are going to one of the best school districts in the State, so they are happy there. The grandchildren in charter school are being taken out in favor of homeschooling. If you have not heard of Core Curriculum, type it into your browser and check it out. This is coming to the US 2013-2014 school year. The public schools and charter/private schools that take fed money will have to comply with this 100%. Homeschoolers are also mandated to follow this, but there will be more control over exactly WHAT and HOW it is implemented.

Whatever you do, honey, pray and ask for wisdom on this. I know it's difficult being the youngest in the group, but hang in there. When my daughter was in kindergarten I was 20. I guess I didn't pay attention, one way or the other, if anyone looked at me funny or didn't include me in their group. I was so busy raising children and working full time it might have just gone over my head ;) Being young DOES sometimes have it's benefits ;)

God bless, babe. Do what God tells you to do, and it will be all right.

Laura - posted on 04/29/2013

Hi I'm looking for some advice.
My 5 year old attents a privet school which has a good reputation, but in her class of 12 there is only 4 girls who are shy and keep to them selfs along with there parents, we never get invited to anything after school, is this an age difference as I'm only 25 and the other mums are between 40-50? I have nothing in common with them and feel I'm looked down on and ignored on a daily basis. I feel my daughter is lonely and isn't building and friendships or relationships with anyone, she has friends were we live and keeps asking to go to there school, do I pull her out and send her to a public school where she may be happier or keep her in a school were she and I aren't happy but because its a good school???
I'm at my wits end, help!

Linda - posted on 09/02/2011

Angela, according to HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association)--the primary advocate for homeschooling in the US and overseas-there are actually between 20,000 and 100,000 homeschoolers in the UK! I understand that it is not as prevalent there as here (USA)...but it might not be as rare as you think. Most homeschooling parents are very dedicated, and studies in the US have shown that more regulations do NOT lead to a better education for the child.

Angela - posted on 08/31/2011

It's quite rare to homeschool in the UK. We have state schools and private schools (some private schools are also known as public schools - just to confuse things - a public school in the UK is always a fee-paying school)

Years ago a lot of the better-off families had their children educated at home by a governess or a private tutor who was hired for this purpose. This was only until they reached an age to go to boarding school. Mam & Dad rarely educated their kids themselves - at least not in a formal fashion. But all parents educate their children anyway in an everyday informal way. I learned many useful things from my mother which I still make use of to this day - I'm in my 50's.

It's not against the law in Britain to homeschool but you are subject to the same standards, inspections etc ... as "proper" schools. Few people are dedicated enough to homeschooling to carry this out. In recent times, to be the parent of a child who persistently refuses to attend school was answerable in a Court of Law - parents can be fined, ordered to attend a parenting course or even imprisoned. Now allowing your child to skip school or even not being aware that your child was failing to attend school is entirely different to opting to educate your child yourself. But the penalties now in place for parents whose children won't go to school must be off-putting for those who'd seriously consider educating their children themselves. There are stringent standards to be met and because it's the choice of so few parents, Inspectors have a duty to check that home-schooled children are really being homeschooled to a decent standard and not just being kept off school to do jobs around the home for their parents or babysit younger siblings.

For your child to have at least an equal chance with other kids educated at a traditional school, they would have to take qualifications of various kinds which are the "norm" for kids who attend schools. These are what employers look for. I'm quite sure that dedicated parents can make arrangements for their children to still take these qualifications, but this would cost money. And the local state school allows free exam entry for your child.

Constantly changing curriculums towards examinations & qualifications mean the recommended text books are frequently changing. The expense of supplying these to your children when they can't even be passed down to a younger child in the same family is quite a drain on resources.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009...

Totally respect anyone dedicated enough to do this and do it adequately! My own kids went to a school!

Jamie - posted on 08/30/2011

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Saleena - posted on 05/10/2010

I currently homeschool three of five children. This Fall, I will be homeschooling four out of five. It is a challenge for us at times but it's what we believe is best for our children. My husband and I prayed about it and it's working out. I take them out and they interact with other children. I also teach them and allow them to learn about real life experiences. Their learning environment is more relaxing, free from many negative distractions, and influences.
Just do what is best for your child. I believe that in your heart, you'll find the answer.

Melissa - posted on 05/08/2010

I'm with MaryEllen on being at home so might as well homeschool. My son is only on the basic pre-school level books at the moment.

I also think that you should observe the school that you're child will be attending in the fall. Sit through a class, go to a PTA meeting if you can, and get to know the teachers. Also be sure to observe the overall behavior of the children. I know they won't be your child's classmates, but seeing as we haven't been in kindergarden since we where actually in kindergarden it would be a nice refresher on child social scene.

If it just irks you, then check out the charter schools, privet school, and any homeschool curriculum you can. You must educate yourself. Then relax and pray.

This is a very tedious process. You can do it though!

Cara - posted on 05/07/2010

I very much agree that children need to be exposed to the world. That is one of the reasons we home school.
In a school, in my opinion, they are kept in an artificial environment, segregated by age, and often by social class, and not allowed to see how the people in the world actually fit together. They eventually have to choose which 'group' to be in, or be subject to bullying.
They miss out on learning to get along with a wide variety of people, and instead are forced to only get to know others of the same age, and follow rules that also don't exist in the real world. My girls have been exposed to a wide variety of people, from living on a Native American reservation (we are anglo) to attending a bilingual church, to travelling, volunteering, and working with us.
Good socialization can't even happen in a classroom, since you can't really get to know your teachers. The only socialization I remember was peer pressure, bullying, and... ok, well there is some fun to be had if you don't get caught...lol... but anyway... I wouldn't have my kids miss out on real life to spend 12 years learning to exist in an environment that they will never have to deal with in the real world.
Again, this is just my opinion, based on my experience in public school myself, and as a teacher's aide, and other positions I held in the public schools. Not knocking anyone else's point of view.

Alison - posted on 05/07/2010

You definitely need to consider your child's specific needs as well as the actual school that you would be sending them to. Personally, I am opposed to the idea of sheltering children from the world. I believe it is possible to train them in righteousness at home, while someone else is teaching them math and geography.

It's not from the Bible, but I believe it to be true:
"I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary, but slinks out of the race where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat." (John Milton)

MaryEllen - posted on 05/06/2010

That's a good point Cara. Because of economics, I had to stay home - If I had gotten a job, my income would have been eaten up by daycare, travel and clothing expenses. Since I was home anyway it made sense for me to homeschool my children. BTW, homeschooling does not mean they "miss out" on dances and the prom. Several of the local homeschool support groups host those. That was my mother-in-law's concern.

Cara - posted on 05/06/2010

It really depends on what you want. We home school and do outside activities. My girls have plenty of friends, but what really counts long term is their friendship with each other (sisters)
Realize that no school - even a private Christian one - is going to teach exactly what you want them to. The only way to know that they are learning what you deem important is to do it yourself.
If being home full time isn't an option, then take the next best thing.

MaryEllen - posted on 03/12/2010

Remember that each schooling choice come with its own stressors. Sending your child out to school means busy mornings and evening & weekends with homework to complete. Homeschooling is more of a life choice. It doesn't involve a morning rush, unless you choose to sign up for a morning class offering somewhere. But, it does mean your kids have to listen to you when it's time to get stuff done. It means stopping what you're doing to explain or point out things. Of course, if your child has learning issues, homeschooling is probably best once you learn to approach those difficulties.

Nancy - posted on 03/12/2010

I definitely vote for home schooling if at all possible. My daughter teaches 11th & 12th graders in our local suburb high school. It has a very good reputation for graduating high academic students. The problem with our public schools is that we are passing along the majority of the students with very little reading, writing, and math skills. The teachers feel pressured into giving "A's" and the parents are satisfied as long as they see a high grade point average. There is too much emphasis on social issues in the public school and not enough time to develop good basic skills. You can accomplish in a few well spent hrs. at home school what your child will not get all day at public school. If you want to see for yourself, ask any honor student you know to give you a sample of their writing. I guarantee you will be shocked.

Cindy - posted on 03/11/2010

I have to say that I have raised 4 children with 1 learning diables, 1 diagnosed ADHD and 1 ADHD and learning disabled and one that graduated with a 3.75 so I had many issues. They all went to public school and I am very satisfied with their education and so are they as a whole. There were some issues that we had to deal with and we did with our kids, the teachers, principals and us and ALWAYS had a satisfactory outcome. I feel this is because we kept the door open with our kids that they could talk to us about anything, the school and principal could call us and talk to us and we asked questions and spent time at the school so they knew who we were. More me than my husband. I don't have a problem as a whole with homeschooling or private Christian schools os public schools. There are pro's and con's to all 3 of them and you need to decide which has the most pro's vs the con's. I know that here that the home school kids can participate in some classes like band, choir, and some of the art classes so that migt be something to check out.

All I can say is that not all PUBLIC SCHOOLS are bad. I believe most are very good and like anything else you only hear about the bad things, never the positive things. There is good and bad in ALL schools, whether public, christian, charted, etc. so don't group them all as good/bad.

Where we live I would never send my kids to the Christian school as there are many things I dislike about it. Please remember that the public schools have many teachers that are Christian, they just have to approach it differently. It also depends on the size of school.

I would say pray about it, research it, talk to people in your town,/school district, talk to teachers including prior teachers and then go from there. Ask God and he will lead you in the right direction. I am confident that we did the right thing for our kids.

MaryEllen - posted on 03/11/2010

Oh, we homeschool through a charter school. They provide many of our supplies. I've never spent more than a couple hundred dollars in a year - usually a lot less and often none at all - on the items they can't provide. Many of our lessons are free downloads. they cost us nothing but the cost of printer paper and toner. This is our 10th year homeschooling.

MaryEllen - posted on 03/11/2010

Your child is young. You have plenty of time to pray for direction. While you wait for your leading from the Lord, join a homeschool support group. Ours meets every week at a local park. If nothing else, it will get you out of the house and in the company of other adults. While you watch your baby, take time to talk to the other moms (and occasional dad) about their days, they methods, the Laws in your state, etc.

Wendy - posted on 03/11/2010

Some questions I would myself when deciding would be: 1. How much time do I have that I can commit to teaching my child? (Although children should be able to do quite a bit on their own, you need to be able to sit and explain what they need to get done, answer questions they may have, and grade the work and maintain records (unless going through an academy) 2. Do I have the patience to be home and teach my own children? 3. What values do I want my children to learn? (your children will be subjected to swearing, violence, disrespect, secular values, lying, and peer pressure for sex, drugs, alcohol) and more. 4. How much can you afford for education? (private school is pricy and homeschool can be very inexpensive or pricy depending on the curriculum you choose) And the final thing would be to pray for God's will. If you choose to homeschool, there are support groups and many activities you can get your children involved in for socialization. My daughter attends youth group at church, dance class, piano lessons, she goes to the YMCA, she also goes to gym with one of the local private schools and our YMCA also has homeschool gym time.

Jane - posted on 03/10/2010

This is really what you have to ask yourself.....How much control do I have of my child? I have a 19 college graduate and a 16 high school student. My kids are not perfect and I see somethings bad and good. But I did keep close look over the school work, volenteered alot at the school, watch the homework...and this is the most important thing, I watched who my kids hung around. I didn't let go of the little stuff and called my kids on everything. My kids have always gone to public school and I know how work it to my advantage but with the changes in the schools you have to really watch whats going on. I'm a young mom and that may have made it easier on me. I have also had a great husband to help out and my faith, praying for the kids has helped too. May God give you your answer!!!

Amy - posted on 03/09/2010

What a question, but you are the only one that can answer it!!! I have had my children in all of the choices, and have finally landed on homeschooling. I am pregnant with my 5th child, and have a 6th grader, 4th grader, 2nd grader, and 1 year old. People ask me all the time why I continue to homeschool when I have the little ones running around. I have to say, the public school system failed my children.....My boys went to an awesome school, I loved the teachers, but they still failed my children. I will not go back to work (and put my 2 little ones in day care) to pay for private school again, so I homeschool. If you ask my children what they prefer, they will tell you that they love homeschooling, and don't want to go back to public school. We are very involved in outside activities, and our local Co-op.
There is nothing that says you can't try each of the options, and see what works best for your child!! Good luck and God bless!!!

Kristina - posted on 03/09/2010

You have to do what is right for you and your children. With both my husband and I working full time for most of our children's lives home school was never an option. Public school has worked well for use. Nothing is perfect. The key is staying involved in your kids lives and knowing what is going on. Have things happened that I wished didn't? Of course. Bad influence is every where. I am not a perfect parent. Nor are my children perfect but I think they are learning thing in the public schools that I know I could never teach them at home. With that being said....my brother and his wife are home schooling their kids and very involved in the home school association. They love it and it is working for them. You do the best you can and pray ...... alot.

Harriet - posted on 03/09/2010

Home schooling with outside activities. Join a home school group to meet more kids and do more activities.

Brandi - posted on 03/07/2010

I encourage you to pray about it. I think it depends on where you live, what is important to you for your child to learn, and you and your child. You can't protect your child from everything and often times we over protect our children. My children have attended private schools and public schools. I have thought about home schooling my children, but I have two children with ADD and they need a very, very structured environment. In most of the states we have lived in, public schools have failed us and thus our children attend Christian private schools. I suggest going to visit public schools and private schools, sit in a classroom and observe for about 4 hours in your child's grade and see if that curriculum will suit you and your child. Talk to and visit home schooling parents and find out more about the things that work best for them. What is right for one person may not be right for you or for your child. You may have to try several different options until you find the one that is best. And as your child grows and changes, his or her educational needs change also, so what works at first may not work when he or she gets into the 5th grade or 9th grade, etc. Good luck to you.

Carla - posted on 03/07/2010

I can't tell you which is right for you, all I can do is tell you that I would not put a child of mine in public school today. A lot of Christian schools, charter schools, even, are funded by the State, and are free to you. In Michigan we have school of choice, so my granddaughters attend Christian school free. If your state doesn't have this, you can claim it on your income tax and help defray the cost. Charter schools, while not Christian, are at least monitored a little more closely. Do some research about the choices in your area. Then pray. The Lord will tell you what to do.



Good luck, sweetie, my prayers are with you both.