How do I give my 10 year old devastating news?

Sherilynn - posted on 06/17/2010

Really there is no easy way to tell her. I think you should just sit her down tell her, get straight to the point. Then you hold her and let her cry for as long as she needs. No matter how you do it, she's gonna take it hard. My mother passed away March 17th and her and my daughter were very close and she was crying her eyes out tonight over Mamaw, and when we first told her my husband and I were just that shoulder for her to cry on. I hope it goes ok for you and I will pray that God be with you all.

Christine - posted on 06/16/2010

My children always had pets(dogs), and we have had to have some of them euthanized. I never lied to them. They are very sensitive to the issue so they know something is going to happen. Just explain the truth to her and what is going to happen. Give her a chance to greive. At 10 years of age, she is beginning to understand what loss is all about, but she deserves to be told all that is going to happen. My daughter has had to do the same thing with her kids. Her daughter's kitten went through this and Hannah went along to say goodbye. She did not go into the room by her own choice, but she was able to be with her cat until the end, and then afterwards, they came to our house and buried her. Hannah was around 8 at the time. She dealt with it very well, and said good bye to Sarafina with tears and love. I think the cat was probably very comforted by the fact that Hannah stayed with her. Each child is different and you have to make judgment calls about what they can handle, but give your daughter the chance to make a choice about what she wants to do and how much. She will get through this probably better than you think. I have cried over so many pets and continue to miss them to this day,but I also know that death is as much a part of life as being born. We all need to see that. In time, she may want another pet, and I think that is great. Give her that choice too when the time comes.

Tammy - posted on 06/15/2010

That's really tough. If it were my daughter, I'd just sit her down and explain to her that Jackson is so sick that our doctors cannot heal him, and that the best thing to do is give Jackson to Jesus and let him take care of Jackson until she gets there to see him again. Then again, my oldest is only 7 so maybe this is geared towards a much younger child.

Darcie - posted on 06/13/2010

sorry about spelling I should have read it . That is there are great books on the subject

Darcie - posted on 06/13/2010

is the cat in pain? If not wait if you can deal with the illness and the cat is not in pain do not put him to sleep until you have to. Then she will have had time to realize that he is not getting well. There is are get books also. One of my favorite is called "Dresser the best ever cat " It is about a cat getting old and sick but it is really a great book.

Kim - posted on 06/12/2010

When our animal companions cross over the Rainbow Bridge, it's very hard for us to let go. They are animals, yes, but they are a part of our family and our love for them is just as strong. I hope your family remembers your cat loved you just as completely as you loved him. Just as we fight to remain, so too, do our pets - letting them know we love them and that it's ok, is one of the best things you can do.
And some day, when you have recovered from your loss, you'll be ready to bring another animal companion into your lives. God Bless.

Rachel - posted on 06/09/2010

When I was a couple years younger than her I lost my first cat. He was bought to help me sleep at night but we ended up staying up more and causing mischeif. Unfortunatly he got really sick and the vets didn't find it until it was to late and his kidneys had given out. My mom and aunt opted to have him put down without me knowing or being there and I will tell you that I was so confused and hurt for a long time. Defiantly be honest and just tell your little one that Grampa is watching over her precious kitty for her for now. At least that is one way to kinda help her accept it. It will be hard and I feel for all of you. God bless and I hope all goes as smooth as possible.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/08/2010

Death is a part of life and new life may also come from death. You might wish to take a philosophical journey with her following his funeral. She doesn't need to be present at the death. She is much to young for that, But a memory service is a wonderful opportunity to show her love in a time of sorrow.

Toni - posted on 06/05/2010

I think allowing her to say good bye is great. I also have an eight year old and unfortunately has seen alot of death already. We had a kitten die in her arms today. She knew the kitten was sick and handled it well. I don't think I would take her to the vet though and watch the ethuanizing.

Jenni - posted on 06/04/2010

Thank y'all so much for your advise! My husband and I have prayed about this, and have had a great conversation with our daughter this afternoon. She is a very strong girl, and knows she's getting the chance to say goodbye n give her cat lots of hugs n kisses before he goes to the vet for the last time.

Carla - posted on 06/04/2010

I don't think telling your daughter that Kitty has to go to Heaven is necessarily 'wrong'. The Bible says 'the lion will lay down with the lamb'. I am personally looking forward to having lots of animals around! Why is it so wrong to tell her that Jackson is going to go keep Grampa company? I think we get tangled up in too much literalness.

If you are going to euthanize him, maybe she can go with. I don't believe in shielding them from death. This can be a 'good' experience (not that the death of a pet is ever good, but you know what I mean). Watching him suffer is cruel for your daughter and Jackson. God bless, honey.

Heather - posted on 06/04/2010

hope I am not too late. We had been breeding birds for about 7 years now. When you watch them hatch and then hand feed them (the mommy doesn't feed them) getting up every 2 hours, we get attached to them. One day the daddy bird got very sick and before we could get to the vet he died. We all cried, it was sad to see him die as he fought for breath. But it was also a huge lesson...death is the fruit of the enemy, he is the detroyer and it reminds us Who are Master is...the Life Giver...so death is not an occasion to blame God or be mad at Him, it is an occasion to remember that He will dry every tear, and heal every heart...until then the enemy has the stage and he is showing who he is...this is why we teach about Truth because not only did the enemy bring in death and error, but he blames God for it. I lost my mom in 2007 and when she was in the hospital, I would go visit and massage her legs and feet with lotion. It made me realize that the evidence of the enemy of God is everywhere around us, sickness, death and decay, those are his works...and the evidence of the Life Giver and Creator is all around us also...beauty, birth, health, love, tenderness, kindness...these are the things we talk about when death happens in our family.
In Joshua it says that we are presented with a choice of life and death, which will we choose.
I don't know if this helps, but what I am trying to do here is to give you amunition so that the enemy doesn't take this sad and painful experience and blame the Creator with it...the truth is he brought death into this world and he is showing his true colors by perpetuating all evil...the LORD knows those who are His and He allows this to happen so that no one will be misled, so that we all can plainly see that there is the LIFE Giver and there is sickness and death and they do not come from the same place.
Be blessed and inspired.

Alison - posted on 06/04/2010

I'm not sure if telling your daughter about kitty heaven is teaching her the truth. It can be an opportunity though, to teach her about the joy of heaven.



Have her plan a special good-bye party for her cat and everyone can share what they love about Jackson. Then maybe plant something in his memory.

Alecia - posted on 06/03/2010

Be a Christian Mom, tell the truth and comfort her to have a normal grieving process. Children are resilient, openly understanding; and love unconditionally.This life can be stressful, painful, and sad. When we leave for our true home; it should be a moment where you realize the loss and celebrate their gain, through the gates of heaven;)

Jill - posted on 06/03/2010

we had to put our 11 yr old dog to sleep right before Christmas... my husband did it while my daughter was at school... my kids did not even notice the 110 pd rottweiler was gone for 5 days.... one day my daughter asked where he was and i said he died.... i told her daddy took him to the vet and he died... it was the exact truth with out all the details... she cried but got over it....i am a firm believer in not lying to your kids... they can handle the truth and will respect you more for it... just leave out the unnecessary details....if there is one thing you should pass on to your children it is honesty...

Cindy - posted on 06/02/2010

Be honest and be ready for a lot of tears but that is ok. My son just had to get rid of their cat that they have had for 5 years and my granddaughter is almost 8. They have had it for 5 years and got it as a kitten. They explained it to her and left her ask questions. We lost my dad 3 years ago and my granddaughter was extremely close to her grat grandpa (my parents were her daycare provider for the first 3 years of her life) so she also understands that people/pets die. If you have a place to bury the cat maybe have a small service where you bury the cat together. She will be ok just be there for her to talk to and explain it at her level.