How should I raise my boys so they KNOW the truth about Jesus when my husband does not have the same views?

Heather - posted on 01/15/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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When I married my husband, I loved that he was a strong Christian man. He knew the Bible, and he was on fire for Christ. Now, he has turned his back on everything to do with it. It is ripping our family up in a way, and I want my 3 boys to know the TRUTH about Jesus. My husband does not think it is truth, just stories, but I know better. If you have any advice, I would gladly take it. Thanks all my sisters!

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Laura - posted on 04/01/2009

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To be perfectly honest I won't raise my kids in a religion. I was raised in a Christian family and went to church all the time. But there are a lot of reasons why I won't. My husband didn't grow up in a religious family. His mom is Catholic but never made him go to church and never taught him anything about unless he asked. He knows the Bible as well as I do. We have a lot of the same views and there are also of views where we butt heads. But ultimately I say wait until they start asking questions about it before you say something. And to be honest best thing you can do is just let them know that you will answer any questions they may have no matter what the question is. My mom never did that with me and I will say that's part of the reason why I won't teach my kids about religion unless they ask. Because no matter what it has to be there choice whether to walk to walk or not. We can't make that decision for them that is a life decision and at times it is hard to make. I'm struggling with the decision whether or not to go back to church right now. I am a very open person, but I will say that I never tell anyone my story unless they ask me personally because I don't want to feel like I'm shoving down anybody's throat. Anybody can ask me anything no matter what

Deana - posted on 03/31/2009

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Heather, I am currently reading "The Power of a Praying Wife", I agree with Simone. If you get the book, I also recomend the small little book that goes with it. It's just like the other book except it just has the prayers in it and a place for notes. It always helps to write your thoughts down(immediate). Your Sis in Christ, Deana

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Quoting Heather:



Thank you so much for your advice! The part about me having to be the spiritual leader now is so true...and a little scary! But I am sure that God will honor that. Thanks for everything!





Heather,



Being the spiritual leader is quite the responsibility (I know firsthand - I'm in the same situation); especially considering that God pre-ordained our husbands to abide in this role.  However, remember the three key Scriptures below and dwell in them.





I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1-2)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Gal 6:9)



The enemy will try to attack you and make you weary in your commitment to raisie your boys in a Godly home. 



I also highly recommend The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian.  It is completely based upon The Word and teaches you how to pray FOR your husband versus ABOUT your husband. 



Look ahead to the victory that awaits your husband, you and your children.  This is a trial and you all will overcome it!



Remain ABUNDANTLY blessed!



Simone

Ashley - posted on 03/31/2009

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You know the truth. Although I know it is hard you should still instill in those boys how much God loves them and everything about him. Just pray that God will give you the guidance that you need and the patience and strength to deal with your husband as well. Also pray that he turns his life back around.

Missy - posted on 03/31/2009

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I think that you should keep your kids involved in church.. I'm divorced and my kids father does not hold the same values that i'm trying to instill in my boys, but Im very hopefull and have seen them display this, that they will know that GOD is the only way.. Don't give up!! my x try's really hard to sway my boys, but they always follow GOD.

Heather - posted on 03/28/2009

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Quoting Susan:

Hi Heather, I know it has been a few months since your post, but I just joined this group. I have been married for 22 years, my husband has been on again off again about church. He claims to be a Christian but does not exhibit any Christian values. He is addicted to porn and sees nothing wrong with it. I am now going through a divorce. My 20 year old son lives with me and is still very involved in church. My 18 year old son lives with his dad and no longer attends church. I pray for him constantly, that he will return to the ways in which he was taught. I pray that your husband does to. Keep your boys in church no matter what, and pray that they are not influenced by your husbands beliefs. My heart goes out to you. Read some books by Christian author Neil Anderson, he has been a huge help to me. Love in Christ



Susan,



You are such a sweetheart, and God bless you for the things you have done for your sons. Thank  you so much for the encouragement. I know God will watch over my family. I just hope it doesn't get any worse! He will not put anything in our lives that we cannot handel. I firmly believe that. Bless you. You will be in my prayers also.



In Him,



Heather

Susan - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi Heather, I know it has been a few months since your post, but I just joined this group. I have been married for 22 years, my husband has been on again off again about church. He claims to be a Christian but does not exhibit any Christian values. He is addicted to porn and sees nothing wrong with it. I am now going through a divorce. My 20 year old son lives with me and is still very involved in church. My 18 year old son lives with his dad and no longer attends church. I pray for him constantly, that he will return to the ways in which he was taught. I pray that your husband does to. Keep your boys in church no matter what, and pray that they are not influenced by your husbands beliefs. My heart goes out to you. Read some books by Christian author Neil Anderson, he has been a huge help to me. Love in Christ

Deana - posted on 01/28/2009

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Heather, I will put you both on the prayer list tonight at church. Hey, I understand about being busy. It seems that I'm constantly having to be somewhere. I think we forget to say no sometime. I'ts good to hear from you. Just keep pressing on in what in what you know is the truth.



In Christ, Deana

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:



Wow, my heart goes out to you.  You have quite the challenge on your hands, but like Deana said you are your sons spiritual leader for now.  Do what you can to teach them the TRUTH and pray that the Lord will show you how to do it in a way that is pleasing to Him and is not being disrespectful to your husband.  Sounds like your husband knows the truth, but satan is giving him doubts.  With prayer & love I believe the Lord can and will turn him around.  If he is open to debating (I don't know if that is the right word to use, but hopefully you understand what I am saying) what he now believes and the Truth a good study to take is The Truth Project by Focus on the Family.  






Hang in there.  Have you watched the movie Fireproof?  It is an excellent movie and an excellent example at how Love Always Wins!  They also have a book The Love Dare giving you a way to show your spouse you love them every day for 40 days.  Love and pray for your husband.  Make sure he knows you respect him.  The book Love and Respect is another good resource to building stronger marriages.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.






Hi Jennifer! Thanks for replying! I am sorry it took me so long to respond! I am definately encouraged by all of these wonderful ladies' words, including yours. I have not seen Fireproof yet, but I will be renting it for our "at home date night" soon. I have heard nothing but good things about that movie. I KNOW my husband has the roots in him of what Christ has done for him...it is just buried so deep inside. Thanks for everything!

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

I completely agree with Deana. WOW, what an awesome response! I, myself, am a product of two parents that did not share the same views on Christ. My mom was a devout believer and had us at church EVERY Sunday and was very involved with kids, youth, etc. My dad still to this day believes that any kind of organized religion is a cult! I don't know how she did it, but I owe her EVERYTHING, MY LIFE because she did. I am happy and know that my faith will get me through anything. I will say a prayer for you and your family...and once again I ditto what Deana wrote...GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY!



Wow! Thanks Melissa for your words of encouragment!! It is so great to hear a story like that so I know it isn't hopeless!! The good thing about my husband is, he is supportive of me still going to church, and he doesn't want to make me feel like I should stop for him. So, that is a good thing. I just really want to get back on track, and get my kids on track, and then maybe he can see through OUR actions what he is missing. Thanks so much for your reply.



Your sis in Christ,



Heather

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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Quoting Deana:

Anytime, I'm just a click away. Yes, It is scary sometimes,and yes God will honor that.
Being faithful, trusting him, and prayer are so important. Trust God to do what he says he will do. Hey, do you mind if I was to put your husbands name on our prayer list at church? Let me know how you feel about that. Your Sis in Christ



Deana, I would love it if you put him on your prayer list at church. The more prayer the better right? His name is Josh.



I probably need some prayer too, because I am so bitter right now about all of this. My prayer life has been non-exsistent, and I feel so far from God right now. I NEED some prayer too!



Sorry to everyone for not replying sooner! I have been so busy lately!!



Your sis,



Heather

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2009

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I completely agree with Deana. WOW, what an awesome response! I, myself, am a product of two parents that did not share the same views on Christ. My mom was a devout believer and had us at church EVERY Sunday and was very involved with kids, youth, etc. My dad still to this day believes that any kind of organized religion is a cult! I don't know how she did it, but I owe her EVERYTHING, MY LIFE because she did. I am happy and know that my faith will get me through anything. I will say a prayer for you and your family...and once again I ditto what Deana wrote...GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY!

Kristine - posted on 01/27/2009

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Get your kids involved in anything God centered that your husband will not object to. Invite Christian couples over for dinner. And the most important thing is to pray and ask others to pray as well. ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Deana - posted on 01/18/2009

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Anytime, I'm just a click away. Yes, It is scary sometimes,and yes God will honor that.

Being faithful, trusting him, and prayer are so important. Trust God to do what he says he will do. Hey, do you mind if I was to put your husbands name on our prayer list at church? Let me know how you feel about that. Your Sis in Christ

Heather - posted on 01/18/2009

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Thank you so much for your advice! The part about me having to be the spiritual leader now is so true...and a little scary! But I am sure that God will honor that. Thanks for everything!

Jenn - posted on 01/17/2009

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Wow, my heart goes out to you.  You have quite the challenge on your hands, but like Deana said you are your sons spiritual leader for now.  Do what you can to teach them the TRUTH and pray that the Lord will show you how to do it in a way that is pleasing to Him and is not being disrespectful to your husband.  Sounds like your husband knows the truth, but satan is giving him doubts.  With prayer & love I believe the Lord can and will turn him around.  If he is open to debating (I don't know if that is the right word to use, but hopefully you understand what I am saying) what he now believes and the Truth a good study to take is The Truth Project by Focus on the Family.  



Hang in there.  Have you watched the movie Fireproof?  It is an excellent movie and an excellent example at how Love Always Wins!  They also have a book The Love Dare giving you a way to show your spouse you love them every day for 40 days.  Love and pray for your husband.  Make sure he knows you respect him.  The book Love and Respect is another good resource to building stronger marriages.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer - posted on 01/16/2009

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Find fun Christian video series that help instill those values.  I like Veggie Tales because they are fun and instill Biblical truth.  They also have jokes in there that are clean but for adults.  "Duke and the Great Pie War" has a great joke that is so inspired by Monty Python.

Deana - posted on 01/16/2009

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I've been married 22yrs. and my husband doesn't share the same views that I do. I don't know how old that your kids are but just continue to instill in them the Truth about Jesus. Take them to church. Keep them involved in church activities. You are their spiritual leader of the family until dad really comes to know the truth. Even if he doen't go back to church for a while, you and your boys are being the example to him. Don't give up on your husband. It's all in Gods timing. Remember he is in control. One last but most important thing is to keep praying for him. PRAY! PRAY!PRAY!

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Your Sis in Christ!

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