How to explain "the birds and bees" to a 10yr old?

Sarah - posted on 03/21/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I always keep an open line with my daughter and explain things to her. Anything from how her body will (and is) develop(ing) to breaking down confusing scripture to boys and how they might make her feel in different situations. But this is a hard one. She's curious about what her father and I do behind closed doors. She seems a lil bothered when we hold hands, kiss or love on each other in front of her, almost like she knows there is something else that goes on. Obviously this needs to be structured around marriage, God's intentions for marriage and husband and wife and things of this nature but I'm so scared to talk about this to my baby!!

Help!

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Sarah - posted on 03/21/2010

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American Girl has a great book that might help. You can find it at Barnes and Noble. It is written in a cartoon kind of fashion so very appealing to kids. It does a wonderful job talking about personal care (deodorant, showering, etc.) then it goes into the different changes that will be happening with her body, then goes to the sex part. It is a really nice book that would be great to read and talk about together and it is set up very well that it feels very natural. You can just start reading it and then talk as you go. Ask her questions allow her to ask you questions. My doctor had recommended it to me and I have REALLY liked it. I also know Dr. Dobson has some books that talk about how to talk to your kids about sex at all different ages. I have not read these books, but would think they would be good too. The one I saw was more of an adult read that you can read and use as a tool in a "how to" way. Dobson's might have a little bit more of the Christian aspect than the American Girl one.

Linda - posted on 04/20/2010

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There is a great book that I recently bought for my 6 year old you can purchase it online at Christian Life way books, It is called The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop it's a story of God's Gift of Purity, it will explain in a that she will understand that God has given her a special gift that is only to be shared with your husband, and you should be able to explain to her about her special gift that only a husband and wife share with one another and that the Lord blesses them to have children, you don't have to be explicate but it should help, every discussion with our children should be downsized to their understanding but with the Lord always in mind. God Bless you!

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Jennifer - posted on 04/24/2010

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Sarah,

My daughter is the same age and I have been wondering if she is ready to have that talk yet or not. I have always told that her that any question she asks she will get the truth, no matter what. I realize she is growing up, but I want her to stay young and innocent of things like that for awhile longer. I know that is unrealistic. ;)
I think it is great you have kept an open line with her and if she is curious it is better to hear it from you, then from her friends who are not as informed or will tell her things she may not know what to do with.
I may go get the American Girl book, to start with my daughter.....although my 8 year old son seems to have already "heard" about "sex" from other boys at school....is there a book out there for boys?????

Christina - posted on 04/21/2010

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You have gotten some good advice. Books are always helpful, whether it's something for her to read or something for you. I don't know if you have acted on anything yet, but the fact that she seems bothered when you are your husband show any sign of intimacy tells me that kids at school have started to talk. She's uncomfortable because she's getting some sort of information from somewhere, so if you haven't started talking to her about it in some way, I would do it soon. Obviously this sensitive topic should be addressed by the parents, not schoolmates. That will keep it from becoming "bad". You definitely have you hands full with this one! I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers! :) Take care

Shelly - posted on 04/21/2010

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Sarah,
Just be honest
...I'm sure that you would much rather hear the truth from you rather than untruths from her friends...Or start exploring because a boy lies to her and she doesn't have the truth to back up what you believe and God says!!! Just be open and honest with her and make sure that you ask if she has any questions!!! Good luck

Elizabeth - posted on 04/21/2010

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honestly. Don't go around the brush to talk to her about it because she is at the age where (God forbid) she will go and find other ways to find out.

Just sit down and explain it to her, don't scare her but remember that she is a young child and needs to know. hold back a few things and point out that it is VERY IMPORTANT not to act of the stuff she might be seeing , hearing and things going on at school. But at the same time leave her room to ask more questions if they come up. 10 is old enough to know when to ask and when not too. Good luck

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