I don't know how to handle this situation in a Godly manner

Samantha - posted on 07/18/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband is a Christian. He has been out of the word and has not had a great walk in the last 6 months or so. The other day I was telling him I need my Depression medicine again, I feel. He said he and I quote "I do not and will not support your drug addiction" I was dumbfounded, as he has seen how I can be without my Depression and ADHD medicine.

I had a baby 13 weeks ago and I have since gone back on my ADHD medicine but not my depression due to the fact that my hormones had not balanced out and I was still on an emotional high due to the baby.

It really hurt my feelings. My husband was raised to believe (from his father who is a pastor) that emotional illnesses are not real, it is weak people who listen to the lies of Satan and if you have Jesus than why do you need medicine.

I just don't know what to do to convince him it is real, that medicine is needed, and that I am not listening to satan? How should I approach him in a godly Manner?

Thanks for your advice and support.

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Angela - posted on 07/18/2012

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Hi Samantha, I'm sorry to hear of your health problems and your husband's lack of empathy. Unfortunately this is not a new phenomenon in Christian circles, the whole mental health & prescribed medication issue is one that attracts little understanding. And it's not just men who don't understand women, it's men AND women failing to understand anyone else's illness when it's not an illness that's physical.

Over and over again I've been told by Doctors and Nurses in the mental health profession that patients refusing medication is actually part of the illness! So a spouse who feels you can get by without your medication and you're simply an addict needing a crutch isn't helping on any level. I wonder how many patients refuse their medication because a spouse or a "Christian friend" pooh-poohed the whole idea of them taking those drugs or even needing those drugs?

God is impartial and He sends His rain and His sunshine on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45). Anyone might suffer any kind of illness or disability. It's not necessarily the result of sin. If an innocent little baby is born with a chronic disability, do we say it's because of that child's sin? Of course we don't! So why should it be any different for an adult who is suffering from an acute illness?

My daughter is a Mental Health Nurse. Do you think there would be so many professionals in the whole Mental Health arena if it wasn't a real and genuine illness?

Here are some Christian weblinks that discuss the problem:

http://www.get.gg/christian.htm

http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/2007/06...

http://www.christianforums.com/f600/

I will pray for the Lord to enlighten your husband and others like him.

Carla - posted on 07/18/2012

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Being wise is a learning process, and it sounds like Hubby hasn't started the course yet ;)

I, too, went through terrible suicidal depression and a lot of physical disabilities, and was told by my dear relatives that there was sin in my life, otherwise I would be healed. Thanks, guys, like I needed THAT!

Do a little surfing on the web and print out the symptoms of your depression. That should hit him right in the face that you NEED a little something right now. Men don't understand a woman's make-up--our hormones are a mystery to them. A GODLY husband will pray and seek the Lord on how to best care for his wife, and accept, if led, medication until the hormones right themselves again. I Peter 3:7 says--'Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them (wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.' Now PLEASE, everyone, don't get side-tracked on the weaker vessel phrase, just hone in on the fact that husbands are commanded to gain knowledge of their own particular wife, and give honor to her by supplying her needs, both physical, emotional and spiritual. Are Daddy's and Hubby's prayers not being heard? If they are not living with their wife in Godly service, their prayers are hindered, or not answered at all. If they have a problem with that, take it up with the Holy Spirit, I got this right out of the Bible!

Why do you think God made women and men so different? So men would have to put a little work into a good marriage! If women were just like men, why would we need women? Except for population? No, a good marriage means that both husband AND wife learn the differences between us that God ordained! We each are 1/2 of the equation, and put together we are to be a united one. God ordained men to be the keeper of the family. He will stand before God on Judgment Day and God will ask him pointedly 'how did you treat your wife?' Most men will stand there, dumb-founded.

I hope this helped a little, honey. The Church as a whole NEEDS to get back to basics, as how to life together in harmony and unity. It's all right here in the Bible, we need to read and heed it.

God bless, hon, keep in touch.

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Rose - posted on 08/15/2012

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I think thats something you just have to pray about. Your husband was raised to think that way. Its not going to be easy for him to understand. I fear the Lord and I am against medicine personally because I see it abused too often but I do know that there are chemical imbalances and God made doctors to help with those things. If you are addicted to the pills that is one thing but if they help you to live normally thats another. I wish I could give you better advice but I really think praying for God to help you in this situation and praying for GOD'S will to be done is your best bet. Sometimes his will isn't what we want but if you truly trust him you will be at peace with it. :)

Junie - posted on 08/10/2012

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I personally dealt with depression for many years, i also had a sports injury from high school that left me living with severe chronic back & neck pain which triggered fibromyalgia, insomnia, migraines, and tension headaches...I'm talking about living with all this stuff for 20 years. The migraines affected me at a minimum of 15 days a month, usually more. Then panic & anxiety attacks started in...i finally gave in to depression meds- the first one made me suicidal for a year, tried a different one & if i happened to miss just one pill, the side effects were unbearable. My salvation came in 1997 at a revival that was under a tent outside, i laid on the rocky ground for an hour and a half, when i got up i felt no pain, needless to say the next day all the pain was back. I would get prayed over in church & no pain until i walked out of church. Back to the pills- i decided i had had enough, i have had alot of family members addicted to these things & i don't want that for my life, so i started weening myself off until i took no more...the side effects were awful, made me want to give up & be done with this life, if you know what i mean. So i started researching online to see how long these side effects would last, most said 6 months to 18 months, then i found one that said she went to a Christian Spiritual Therapist and got rid of side effects in 6 days and it just hit me that i needed to turn it over to God, i did & it was all done & over with in a day. Moral of this story is Jesus died

On the cross for all of us over 2000 years ago so we don't have to live with pain, depression, any of it. All we have to do is believe that, trust in that and receive it. It took me a very long time to receive, i hope for your sake it doesn't you, talk to your husband, i think he could help you figure out how to receive the healing from God. And when you do receive it, make sure and thank Him and Praise Him for it. God bless you and your family everyday.

Sandy - posted on 07/31/2012

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Does your church have any support groups for people with depression? (or any churches in your community?) I'd start attending one if you can. Then you need to talk to your husband more about it. Depression is a chemical imbalance. Telling someone not to be depressed and "get Jesus" is like telling someone with diabetes to "heal themselves".

Be strong and do what you need to do to help yourself. Pray that your husband will be shown the truth about depression.

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