My 3 yr. old son is disrespectful, any ideas on how to stop this.

Larissa - posted on 08/25/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My three year old son likes to tell me what he is going to do, what I need to do, and is just plain disrespectful. He starts school soon and I don't want that to carry on to the classroom but I need some positive ways to deal with it and get him to stop. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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Lisa - posted on 08/26/2009

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Larissa - you need to be firm and not allow yourself to do as your child commands. It is hard to model the correct behavior ALL the time. Sarah has some great ideas that I too have used with my three boys (who are now 18,19,20). Love and Logic - that is the name of a series that helped me - christian based program that shows children that each action has a consequence. Just remember to pray for the strength to be firm (your son may cry and fuss - it will tear at your heart strings but don't give in ) GOD is on your side. There is even some great child raising advice found in the bible.

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Christina - posted on 08/26/2009

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I think Jessica has some good points....its important to let them know the minute they become disrespectful that their talking time is over. I generally will do an immediate 3 min time out with my 3 year old if he starts whining or becoming rude. I sit him on the chair in the kitchen set the oven timer and say when the timer beeps if you still would like to ask me for something you may come and try again using kind words and please and thank you. It will take a few times of doing this for him to get into the habit of being polite but once he gets it down, the time outs for disrespectful behavior become few and far between

Jessica - posted on 08/26/2009

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If he starts I would just without shouting firmly say "That is not appropriate", if he carries on say "Room time or play time?" and if he carries on ask him "Are you going to walk to your room or shall I carry you?". This is giving him to freedom to make his own descisions and hopefully you will be able to get through these moments without you losing your temper and when he gets the gist of this new approach, he will be able to calm himself down and learn self-control. Hope this helps and you will get through this!!

Sarah - posted on 08/25/2009

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I think there are many different ways you can approach this. One thing I always require from my kids if they are asking me to do something is to say please and thank you. If I don't hear a please it is not done. It also needs to be a heart felt please not one said with anger or frustration. I also model this when I am asking things of them. If they are saying something to me in not a very nice tone I will stop them and talk to them about it, also explaining how that makes me feel and how that is not nice to speak that way to people. After I have talked with them about it if they continue to use that tone then it is a time out. Three is the sassiness stage. They are testing their boundries as to how they can talk to others. A lot is teaching them what is acceptable and what is not and their manners (table, when others are talking, adults, etc.) Also pay attention to how you talk, a lot is them testing the grounds, but if you are not modeling good behavior then it makes teaching them that much harder.

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