My almost 12 year old wants a facebook account

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Carol - posted on 12/16/2009

1

0

0

I believe Facebook's rules are that one must be 13 to have an account. Parents need to be very careful when breaking rules, because their kids will learn that it's ok to do. The kids can then get the idea that they can determine which rules are ok to break. Kinda scary!

Loretta - posted on 08/17/2013

89

33

2

If you do, I would suggest you require him to let you have his password so you have total access to what he is doing there (at least until he is older and has established some trust with it). I always had a rule for my daughters that they could not "friend" anyone they had not met personally. They were really good about that and also kept their privacy settings up so they didn't have strangers contacting them. We had no trouble whatsoever with it (the girls are 20 and 23 now) nor with them. Like anything else, Facebook can be good or bad depending on how it is used.

Someone - posted on 08/28/2013

9

0

0

Well yeah you should let him have one I have one and I don't get intro to trouble You should check his page make sure he doesn't block you.

Angela - posted on 08/10/2013

2,410

9

321

@ Helen Phillips - I honestly wouldn't have thought that ANY interactive Internet website - particularly FaceBook - would be beneficial to any individual's reading, writing and spelling skills - whatever their age. Even on here, Circle of Moms, where (presumably) most subscribers are adults, parents - the standard of spelling, grammar, punctuation & syntax is (on average) appalling!

I do enjoy the banter and the community feeling on here - but I must confess - I have a really good laugh at some of the posts! And these are ADULTS posting ......

Helen - posted on 03/15/2013

2

12

0

there are so many things you are not supposed to have until a legal age ,,,but do we consider this? Majority does not,,,,My kid has facebook and he is 9,,,his reading and spelling skills have improved 90 percent ,,,he has to read ,,,he has to spell,,and he is learning on farmville ,,,,so it isn't a bad idea..

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

50 Comments

View replies by

Alice - posted on 02/09/2013

5

4

1

Yes I wood lethim or her to get one my son has. One and I watch him and it a good thigh for him

Angela - posted on 02/01/2013

2,410

9

321

Joanne, I accept what you say about your daughter and her FaceBook account. However what I was implying was true of many youngsters who join FaceBook - and all the more so for those who fake their date of birth in order to be able to join whilst under age!

Finally - have a look at this Internet meme:

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6170/61857...

The picture of 2 pigs is irrelevant. Read the caption on the bottom. Because FaceBook is very definitely a marketing tool!! This is just as true whether you're 10 years old or 45!

Joanne - posted on 02/01/2013

3

22

0

No concern to me whatsoever Angela, she wasn't even that bothered about getting an account and had been very firm with her friends (many younger) who tried to pressure her into getting one sooner. The main reason she wanted to join on her birthday was to get in touch with her aunts, uncles and cousins to thank them for birthday cards. Since then she spends very little time on Facebook as she's more interested in reading. I think you should save your concern for those children who are really far too immature to understand the potential danger associated with social networking and their parents who are happy to let them bend the rules.

Angela - posted on 02/01/2013

2,410

9

321

QUOTES:
Joanne Martindale – “My daughter was happy to wait until her 13th birthday to get an account”

Leslie Brackett – “My 12 y/o daughter is waiting also...”

…… ooh! Because FaceBook is SO exciting and stimulating and wonderful, that we’ll join the very minute we turn 13 – on our birthday ………

Whilst it’s good that some kids respect FaceBook’s rules and aren’t faking their ages to join early I’m concerned. How depressing that kids are “waiting” to be old enough to join FaceBook. Like it’s a massive treat that really defines one’s 13th birthday.

This is the real concern ……

Joanne - posted on 01/28/2013

3

22

0

Even though this post is now very old, the principles still stand. I agree with those other mums who've said it's not good to show your kids that you don't care about rules! There is a reason kids are supposed to be over 13. Even if you can trust them, what about others out there? My daughter was happy to wait until her 13th birthday to get an account, since she respects rules. Well mostly!

Leslie - posted on 01/22/2013

2

10

0

No! Let Facebook be the "bad guy" because their policy states that you must be 13 y/o to have an account. My 12 y/o daughter is waiting also...my 14 y/o daughtet has account limits: I am her "friend" and to all her friends too. This goes for twitter, instagram, tumblr... follow them. It's a scary social media world out there. Reiterate frequently how to protect their privacy and that personal info means more than their name (school mascot, team names, birthday, schedule, where mom & dad work, siblings' names...)

Angela - posted on 01/19/2013

2,410

9

321

People are still replying to this ancient post where the kid who was "almost 12" back in December 2009, is now about 15!

LOL!! No one ever seems to check the dates on these posts - nor do they read previous contributions to the thread!

The funniest thing though is to read the posts of the mothers who advise exerting parental authority yet they can't even spell! Their grammar's appalling and they have no idea how to use apostrophes!

Keep posting everyone, I like to laugh and smile! It's such a cold, snowy January here in England and I need something to cheer me up!

Rebeca - posted on 01/10/2013

1

0

0

yeah they should because u don't know how hard is it for a girl/boy at that age anymore because probably all her friends has it and she wants it not only that but about if she is going to another school and she won't see her friends as much. Facebook is great! and the people who died from Facebook its not Facebook's fault its the person's fault for replying back and getting them self in trouble and as long as ur user is private and they do the right thing they should be okay but u should trust ur child that she/he will do the right thing. I suggest u should give them a trial and within that trial they are fine let them keep it or if they are not fine just deactivate the account

Sandy - posted on 10/15/2012

1

0

0

I let my daughter get FB account. It is the most terrifying and stressful thing. She started posting pictures on there of herself and I was constantly checking it. Now she has other accounts with different names. I really wish she never got on there. kids these days are so smart. They try to get away with doing things their way.

Angela - posted on 09/15/2012

2,410

9

321

@ Debbie Norris, Proud Mommy, Deb Conyers Porter Jones & Cyndel Jones - see my post below!



The original post from Hollie Chaplinski-Ehrhardt was dated December 13th 2009, her "almost 12 year old" is now nearly 15!!



Probably time to close this thread!

Lisa - posted on 09/10/2012

13

13

1

I have a 12 year old and he has had a fb for a couple of years. I let him get one because his grandmothers and family are on there and he could play games with them. I know his password and I monitor him very well. He is about to turn 13 in October. He just was allowed very recently to add his school friends on there and start communicating on there with others. He is not allowed to add anyone he does not know. I check his privacy settings regularly where not everyone can see his account and can not add him.

You have to start letting them do things and have freedoms but you still monitor them till they get older. My experience is never totally trust kids because sometimes they are not mature enough even at 17 to make all good decisions . All kids need guidance.

Angela - posted on 09/10/2012

2,410

9

321

You have to be at least 13 to join FaceBook according to their own rules and guidelines.



So let him/her join NOW if she hasn't already joined. If he/she was "almost 12' in December 2009 when the original post was made, he/she should be nearly 15 now!

Cayla - posted on 05/17/2012

20

0

1

Just tell her to wait another year and if she does great in school she can have it. There some crazies out there do make sure she add HER friends and not her friends friends.

Leigh - posted on 05/16/2012

100

3

8

I think 12 is way too young to have a facebook account. It just isn't safe these days with all the crazies that are online. My daughter wants one sooo bad (she just turned 10), and I told her she has to wait till she is at least 14, and then it depends completely on how mature she is at that point in time. She is very mature for her age right now, but that doesn't mean she is computer/stranger savvy enough to deal with something like that.

Deb - posted on 05/11/2012

54

0

2

What I have said to others.Say NO! "Facebook requires a child be at least 13 yrs old. What are you teaching your child if you break that rule?
It pays for parents to read the rules before letting their child have any Internet accounts. You can be held liable for anything that child does that is against the law whether you are aware of it or not, becuase it was your responibilty to know."

Deb - posted on 05/11/2012

54

0

2

Facebook requires a child be at least 13 yrs old. What are you teaching your child if you break that rule?

It pays for parents to read the rules before letting their child have any Internet accounts. You can be held liable for anything that child does that is against the law whether you are aware of it or not, becuase it was your responibilty to know.

Stella - posted on 05/08/2012

7

0

0

My 12 year old son doesn't have one and he is perfectly fine. He has asked for one, I have said not yet. I don't understand why he needs one and there are more negatives than positives that come with it. He doesn't have a cell phone yet either, or a tv in his room. He has more important things to worry about and excel at than facebook, etc.

Sage - posted on 05/07/2012

5

0

1

no no AND NOOOO. not unless you are going to have the email and passord only .. and its linked up to ur phone so you know whats going in and out at all times . also monitor computer time because kids are sneaky , we have to one up them !! lol

Cyndel - posted on 05/07/2012

754

24

42

NO!
Facebook has rules, you cannot use it if your under 13. As Christians we are to follow all rules and laws that don't require us to disobey Christ. This is the perfect opportunity to teach them this. Non of my children will be allowed a facebook account until they turn 13 (if facebook is 'all the rage' then) a) because of their safety, b) because it is the rules.

Jennifer - posted on 05/01/2012

72

32

9

I allowed my 9 year old an acct for the games. He doesn't post pics of himself and before accepting or requesting a friend it has to be approved. Everything is listed private .Of course I also have his password. He gos on plays games and talks back and forth with friends so I don't see a problem with it.

Angela - posted on 04/24/2012

2,410

9

321

QUOTE:

"Simon Milner, Facebook’s UK policy director, told the Bath conference that there was nothing it could do to stop children under 13 setting up accounts, despite this being against government policy.
‘It’s a problem and we have found no solution to it,’ he said. ‘It is very difficult when a parent is helping a child lie to get around that.’
David Niven, former chief executive of Action on Child Exploitation and national chairman of the British Association of Social Workers, said: ‘I am amazed when they said they could do nothing about under 13s.
‘You would think that a rich company such as Facebook would be able to devise the necessary filters. We know that the younger children are, the more susceptible they are and therefore the greater the effort needed to protect them.’"


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...

Beth - posted on 04/20/2012

4

0

0

Well said Karen. I have to agree with you. I needs to be HEAVILY MONITORED. It is an outlet for girls to say and do whatever they want. I can't believe some of the things that are said on Face Book by 14 year old kids. I also can't believe that their parents approve of it, or they are simply not watching it.

Karen - posted on 04/20/2012

183

0

12

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!



Avoid it mama! For as long as you can!!!



I have a niece who just turned 13, and I WISH that her mother would take it away from her. She posts inappropriate pictures, dirty language and embarrassing posts.



IF you are going to allow a child to have a facebook, it should be HEAVILY monitored, at ALL times. Every post should be checked over by you. The privacy settings should be set by you. At no point should she have the freedom to sit on it, alone. Not ever.



My husband makes websites for a living. We are very well aware about what goes on out there. Even though we are a family that spends a ton of time online, we agree that our daughter does not belong on a social network and will not be on one until I say so, which won't be for a long time.

Beth - posted on 04/15/2012

4

0

0

I have to agree with you on one hand. I allowed my daughters 11 and 12 to have a page. They are now 13 and 14. My mother is online everyday, along with 4 other sisters. They would watch the pages when I was unavailable to do so. However, this Face Book now has caused some problems as well. They are trying to post pictures that are inappropriate....borderline. You know the ones...the pursed lips, the tank tops, the serious trying to be sexy look, etc. Just look on any 14 year olds page and you will find these pictures. This social outlet also gives them a chance to "chat" with boys more often. I have watched my girls go from newbie naive face book users, to having 240 friends. I check their pages every day and call myself the Face Book Police. Some times I completely hate Face Book due to the popularity contests that go on as well. My daughter is very nice, smart,, and beautiful but there are some girls at school who are mean online as well. I am now at the point where I really don't want to take it away because they have their "good" friends that they chat with and post with, but it is a constant battle and worry for me as a single mom. They really rely on it, which is sad. These teenagers today don't know how to TALK to anyone. They hide behind their screens and say things that would never be told face to face. Just my experience and opinion.

Proud - posted on 04/13/2012

269

28

4

Facebook rules are that you are supposed to be 13 to have an account,



Doesn't look very good to claim to be a Christian and then want to break a rule.

Pat - posted on 04/11/2012

282

0

17

if its not too late, dont do it. i cant tell you the drama it has caused, not to mention the distraction. there are too many dumb kids out there. if you do allow it, make sure you monitor it often.

Angela - posted on 03/24/2012

2,410

9

321

I understand you have to be 13 to have a FaceBook account?



He'll need to wait a year.



Unless of course you want to overlook the age thing and let him have an account anyway. Like the ladies on here say, you might prefer to keep an eye on what he does on that account.



Of course, he may decide that he wants to use a computer at school or in the public library and open an account behind your back and lying about his date of birth? So then you'll never even know about if he never accesses it from home?



And you can do a lot of FaceBook updates etc ... simply from a mobile phone (if it's a Smartphone).



Decide what level of deceit he's capable of before you say no.



But in the case of the OP, this is an old post, the child in the original question will be well over 13 now!

Nichole - posted on 03/20/2012

8

21

0

My 12 year old son has an account and I was very nervous allowing it. All of his friends have one and he was feeling the pressure...and so was I. But on that note, my husband and I set up his account with an email that we created for him and we receive all of his wall posts by email. Now that will not notify you of everything. If he writes on a friend's wall or comments on a friend's post. So with that being said, we have to check his account. If you don't have access on a regular basis, DON'T ALLOW HIM TO HAVE AN ACCOUNT!! I went on my son's account yesterday because I had received an email that he was tagged in a photo and I always like to look at the photos to make sure he's not doing anything too crazy. Well, when I opened his account, in the timeline was a almost naked girl in this panties and her breasts showing. It did not show her face but she looked to be a teenager. It said this girls name and that she wanted him to view this photo of her. It was probably a virus that hacked into his friend's account and was posting on her behalf but I immediately reported it to facebook and blocked her as a friend. Those are the kind of things along with many others that you have to be careful of. I had a talk with my son after school yesterday an made him aware of it. I guess it boils down to how your pre-teen is maturity wise. My son is maturing fast at this age. Middle school is a whole new ballgame. They will learn things that you don't want them to. It's going to happen though. So do your best and talk to you pre-teen often. Hope this helps.

Kelley - posted on 12/23/2009

330

30

27

does it make me a hippocryte if I keep them on it (we homescool and they can get instant answer from tutoring?)

Kelley - posted on 12/22/2009

330

30

27

Quoting Carol:

I believe Facebook's rules are that one must be 13 to have an account. Parents need to be very careful when breaking rules, because their kids will learn that it's ok to do. The kids can then get the idea that they can determine which rules are ok to break. Kinda scary!



okay, that kinda' stings...sort of like when you put rubbing alcohol on something that  you need to clean  up....thanks for the good word :)

Teresa - posted on 12/19/2009

54

7

11

I would say yes, but if it is facebook rules to be 13 before you can have a page then wait for another year. Obey the laws of the land. Good Luck. and God Bless

Kenitra - posted on 12/17/2009

92

36

8

Yes, I see no problem. Make sure you have an account to keep an eye on them, and make sure you have their passwords also. Even better, you provide them a password and keep it secret from them, so that they can get on only when you are home to supervise.

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

7

28

1

I allow my children to have a fb account and my youngest is 10, the reason I allow it for that young is we have no family around us all our family lives all over the country so this way cousins are able to stay in contact with each other. I just have their passwords and check their accounts often I also made it a rule they arent allowed to add friends without me seeing who it is first if I dont know the friend they arent allowed to add them. I checked my 17 year old sons account once and found some girl as a friend her profile pic she was half dressed needless to say she was taken off. I dont think he ever even talked to her she just asked him to be a friend so he accepted.

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

1

11

0

Patience is a virtue... let 'em wait... when they do get on Facebook or anything similar, make sure you have their name and password. Teens can get into all sorts of troubles now from pedophiles and their own friends. Be careful...

Heather - posted on 12/15/2009

4,634

42

1135

I would set some requirements. You need to be on her friend list for sure. But my kids aren't 12 yet. So really I am unqualified to give you advice. Pray about it.

Julie - posted on 12/14/2009

8

2

0

Y.E.S
I allowed mine to and took a look everyday when she was at school. You can learn a lot about her " behind the scenes".

Heather - posted on 12/14/2009

4

40

0

I allowed my 12 yr old a facebook account but she only gets an hour a day and is closley monitered by me and her dad. Just tell her you have access to it and at any time you can take it.

Claudia - posted on 12/13/2009

39

11

0

honestly and maybe because i dont have older ones, so i may be way out here in my response... what need does a 12 year old have to want or have a fb acct? if you allow phone time and friends over there really isnt much left to do on facebook. if your 12 year old just wants to be able to keep his friends updated with the day to day min to min status i say you start a twitter acct. first then see how responsible ur 12 year old adds and picks friends. have ur 12 year old make the acct. private and give a trial period.

Chermeine - posted on 12/13/2009

1

0

0

I did, but I have the password. I would not recommend it if you are not willing to check on his/her page often.

Patrice - posted on 12/13/2009

4

39

1

well of course the decision is ultimately up to you but i dont see a problem with especially if you trust ur 12 yr old. the best thing to do is retrieve the password from the beginning and check on the page from time to time (how often is up to you). this can be a trust builder or a trust breaker! godd luck

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms