My husband has bad experience with church from child hood and i have to force him to go..help?

Caylyn - posted on 02/26/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

58

41

1

Hey everyone! Im new here. My husband had bad experiences with church in his child hood. He went to a church that had elders and they called him out in from of the whole church so he doesn't like church and says he's a "realist" and like how Scientist are trying to prove how people could have been created from organisms and all this other stuff. How can i get him in church and find a good church to get him to go? If he goes i have to BEG him to go and its like 3 times a year at the MOST. I want my family to be in church and i want my daughter to know God. I need to get close with God again too, but its so hard because i dont want to go by myself, and so if he doesn't go them i usually don't go. I know its bad, but i have self confidence issues because of my weight after my daughters birth. Can anyone please help? Im 22, hes 26 and our daughter is 3. Thanks and its nice to meet everyone. =)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Meriel - posted on 04/02/2009

13

5

0

I use to be  in that same situation.  When my husband and I were first married, I was the one who went to church every Sun.  I had a great lady (my Christian mentor) in my life at the time and she told me to pray about it.  She said she would pray too.  I also put in on the prayer list at church every time I was there!  It took a couple of years at least, but I had to be patient and wait on the Lords timing.  I remember she told me NOT to force him to go, that he would be won over by my actions.  (Actions speak louder than words!)  She told me about a scripture in the Bible that says husbands can be won over by their wives!



My mom was the one to always take me & my siblings to church on a regular basis, my dad did not go very much.  I am so thankful that my mom did this, she was a wonderful example for me!  It takes a STRONG woman to be the responsible one in the house as far as religion!  Remember, Jesus is always with you!  He will never leave you nor forsake you!



PRAISE GOD!  MY HUSBAND AS COME A LONG WAY AND ATTENDS CHURCH WED. & SUN. :)  HIS EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED!



GOD IS SO GOOD!



YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH WITH YOUR DAUGHTER!  God blesses us with children, but we are suppose to raise them in the Lord.  Your husband is not going to be the one who has to answer to God for your actions.  YOU ARE!  You feel something important missing in your life and it is JESUS!



I pray you will be STRONG IN THE LORD!



God Bless,



Your Sister In Christ 

Amy - posted on 04/11/2009

8

3

1

Dear Caylyn,
I wouldn't try to force your husband to go to church with you. Just because he's physically there doesn't mean his heart is in it. In addition, pushing him into something he's not ready for (or open to) will only push him further away from the church. It has to be his choice to attend with you. I know it can be hard to go to church alone; I had to when I got married and moved out-of-state at the age of 19. I grew up in a very religious and spiritual family, but my husband's childhood was just the opposite. But as you get familiar with the church and its people, it will get easier. Plus, it will uplift you and set the right example for your daughter - and maybe even your husband. My husband is so far from God that it upsets me. But I truly believe that he sees the difference that God and faith make in a person's life, even if he won't admit it. I think part of his indifference/hostility toward religion is stubbornness, but my pushing him will only make things worse. So I choose to live and grow in my faith and raise my children in that same faith. All I can do is be a witness for God and pray that he has a change of heart. The rest is up to him and God.

[deleted account]

Try not to worry too much my husband does not attend church with me but it does not mean he does not believe, i have a 24 yr old daughter who was raised in the church i am also over weight go by yourself with your child you will find people who understand and this will give you confidence, keep praying for your husband as i do mine, if he is a good person leading a good life surely you have to accept this is enough for now! god loves you and him whether he goes to church or not, so attend yourself with this knowledge

love and god bless marie UK

Lynley - posted on 04/09/2009

9

22

2

Hi Caylyn, all i can say is do not force him!!!, speaking from my own recent experience ( and my husband is a Christian) God recently spoke to me about the fact that I was trying to 'fix', what I thought, were my husbands problems. I was trying to make him respond to what I felt must be Gods will for him. In actual fact what I was doing was placing my husband before my relationship with God. In doing this I was not only holding him back from what God had for him, but I was also stopping my walk with God from moving forward.



So my advice is this, Do not stop hoping and praying that he will come back to Church and to a relationship with Christ but let God work it in his timing, not in yours. Your husband dosn't need anymore pressure about church.



Hope this helps, Lynley

Yolande - posted on 04/01/2009

2

12

0

Hi there, it is difficult when the wife is the church goer.  I have been in the same boat, and also begged my husband to go to church for years.  The fact that you dont go is not good at all though, because christians sends out a example that non christians go by.  I also stopped going for 3 years after my girls to safe my marriage, i thought, but actualy that just draws you away from God.  It is not the church thats the issue, its your relationship with God.  Go to church, nobody is going to judge the way you look, and if they do, you are in the wrong church.  Find the one that suits you best.  Once you found the correct house for you to go to, carry on going, but do not force him to go.  It just makes it worse. Every now and then you can share something with him about church, but if you see he gets uncomfortable leave it.  I went high up in leadership without my husband.  I am the worship leader and have been for a long time, before he showed any interest at all in coming to church.  It was not always easy doing it alone, as God intendends for Husband and wife to serve Him together, and you have to take on the Husbands responsibility to be the priest in the house, but God says in His word, if you are safed He promises you that your husband and children will follow, and all you have to do is cling to that.  Husbands have the natural thing in their brains that whatever "command" a woman gives them is not acceptable and they take it in as nagging, which is the last thing they listen to.  All you can do is pray, pray pray, it may take a day, a week, a year or 20 years, but somewhere the result will come through.  But the important part in this is, your husband has to see God in your life.  Dont go to church and then come home fighting and resenting him for not joining you. Love hime, and be a wife to him like God instructs you to be, and most of all do not preach to him.  Just love him.  Release him into God's hands.  So often we say we do it, but actualy we still try to do it yourself.  God says we will live by our testimony, and meaning by that you have to live out your testimony that you are saved and have a relationship with your Lord, that is NOT a stand with the broomstick and smack you everytime you've done something wrong God, but a loving, forgiving full of grace and mercy God.  All He wants to do is take you in His arms, hug you pull you close and tell you that He loves you.  Live full of joy, read philipians 4:8, pray that over your life everyday, and you will see God making changes in your life, your daughters and most of all your husband.  God will pull him in when the day is right, you just have to trust, and have faith!



Shalom

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

37 Comments

View replies by

Carla - posted on 11/12/2013

4,281

83

592

@J--there is a difference between going to church and having a relationship with Jesus, and if you are trying to figure out why you didn't grow, you probably were trying to 'just be good' without turning your life over to the Lord and finding out how to become a child of God. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John tell us the story of Jesus, and His love for us. Romans-III John show us how we are supposed to be molding our lives into the image of Jesus. But this is a lifelong process--Paul calls it crucifying the flesh. It means that when your flesh says 'I want to go find some 'companionship', we can stand firm on the teaching that we are supposed to find a wife, and stay true to her. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

Going to or not going to church really has nothing to do with your relationship with Jesus. It IS good to gather with people who believe as we do, for encouragement, but our growth depends on learning of Jesus and learning how our lives should be lived. This comes from digging into the Bible (I would suggest the New Testament first, and avoid Revelation until you are more grounded). As you read, ask the Lord to help you understand what you are reading.

As far as the Bible contradicting itself, I have heard that a lot from people. But you have to understand the New Testament and Old. The Old Testament was to show people just trying to 'live right' can't be accomplished without a vibrant, alive relationship with Jesus. The New Testament gives us the power to truly find conversion, and a new life through our faith in Jesus.

You have the right to choose. God never forces us to go to church or serve Him. But I DO hope you choose Jesus. You will NEVER be sorry.

God bless

J - posted on 11/11/2013

6

0

0

I went to church all my life until 25 and then I really didn't like it and couldn't find a spouse (this is quite common I think) I was getting more and more depressed until at 25 I had full proper depression. I started going to a social club but I didn't drink much, I felt so much better, my mental and emotional health improved and I found someone I really liked. So I don't get it, if God's so good why didn't I like it/grow? I will go to the pub occasionally. I go to church when I want to and I don't want to be forced. I really like sports and outdoors and would rather do that than be stuck in a old building with people I don't know. I find the bible confusing as it seems to contradict as well.

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2009

13

4

4

My husband is a very loving, god-fearing man, but he does not like to attend church and I have never tried to force him to attend.  We were baptised as a family, we pray together and we talk about our Heavenly Father all the time.  Just because my husband doesn't want to go to Sunday Services, does not make me feel like he is missing something.  My children and I go because we want to and we enjoy it.  I am a Sunday school teacher, I am on the Youth and Education Committee's and I am the Wedding/Funeral Coordinator for our church.  I am very involved and my husband helps out if I ask him.  To be honest, I think my children have come to realize that Sundays are when they get some one-on-one time with Mom.  At first, it bothered me a little bit, but then I look around the church every Sunday and realize that most husbands don't attend.  The majority of our regular attendees are women and children. 

Linda - posted on 04/13/2009

2

14

0

Hi Caylyn, I too had a bad experience when I was younger at church. I quit attending and I still don't attended every Sunday. The most important thing to remember is a relationship with Jesus isn't found at church. Its personal. When I left "the church" it was just that. I still loved the Lord and I still had a personal relationship with Him.



As for you're weight issue...God loves you just as you are. He looks on the heart. I too am over weight but I don't let it stop me from living my life. Please don't let it stop you from living yours. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. Inside beauty is what counts. Keep your husband in prayer and just live your life the way God leads you to live it. Do it for God and no one else. May God Bless you and your family

Tam - posted on 04/13/2009

776

24

103

OH! I wanted to add something about the "insecurity" you said you felt. That's intimidation (an insidious form of fear that can beat you down without you even realizing it).

If you can get ahold of Breaking Intimidation, I really recommend it. It has opened my eyes to the many ways the enemy will try to take your place and steal your authority in the body of Christ. Satan knows that if we belong to God he can't have us, but that doesn't mean he will try to make you stumble in your walk--he doesn't want you witnessing or showing Christ's love to anyone.

Just remember that the insecurity is a form of fear. And remember that God is not fear. Remember, “God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear …” (1 John 4:16b-18a).

I've also seen a flair that said worry is prayer to another god. That is so true.

So the next time you feel insecure, remind the enemy that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit and that God lives in you and will help you be molded physically and spiritually as He needs you to be. Remind yourself that your child is young and that those few extra pounds were put on in an effort to fulfill your duty to your child (pregnant, etc.) you are beautiful in God's eyes and those are the only eyes that should matter to us. It's hard to remember, but please try! And show the enemy that God is greater than anything he can throw at you by doing as you feel convicted to do (going to church by yourself, even).

It takes true courage and faith to walk in boldly in God's love. But once you begin to do so, you'll see so many opportunities for growth in Him and you'll embrace the freedom that being His has in store for you.

Tam - posted on 04/13/2009

776

24

103

Caylynn,

We were in the opposite position. My husband wanted desperately to go (he was a new Christian) and I didn't. While I had faith in God and believed in Him, I had been hurt and betrayed by church-people as well.

It took years before I could walk into a church without hyperventilating. It might be different with him as he sounds like he's turned that anger into doubt of God (like I said, thankfully I still believed in God and had faith, though diminished). But I can tell you, the more my husband pushed, the more my flesh resisted. I would have good intentions, but then work myself into an anxiety attack when time came to get ready and so would be "sick" or just outright not go.

During all this, my husband prayed for me (and I'm sure others did too). And like I said, it took some time before I could comfortably go every week and I do still struggle with it from time to time, that intimidation.

Just remember that Christ loves all of us and we must leave it in God's hands (cast your cares on Him). It's times like this that our true faith is tested. Do we believe God's promises? Do we really trust Him to handle situations in His time? Waiting on the Lord is one of the most difficult things for our flesh, but the rewards are tremendous.

Pray daily, pray continuously. I will add you and your husband to my prayers when I think of you.

Live by loving example. Don't push the issue, don't force his hand. Simply live by the love Christ has shown us, instilled in us. Love your husband no matter if he goes or not. Don't give up, but if he says no, then say, okay and go anyway. It might surprise him enough to perk his interest (since it's so different than the past). Be the light you were called to be and trust God to do the rest. When possible, witness gently to your husband, but show him the respect we are supposed to give our husbands--no matter how they are, we should always do our Godly duty. :)

Hang in there, we're praying for you.

Kimberly - posted on 04/13/2009

14

4

1

First of all - as hard as it may be - you ave to quit pushing the subject. Sometimes that pushes people further away. You said that you need to get close to God again and that is the only thing that you can control. Take a leap of faith - go to church, start praying, start living a Godly life. One that people can look up to. If you draw closer to God - He will draw closer to you. When people see the difference in you is when you will be able to help lead them to God.

Meriel - posted on 04/02/2009

13

5

0

I use to be  in that same situation.  When my husband and I were first married, I was the one who went to church every Sun.  I had a great lady (my Christian mentor) in my life at the time and she told me to pray about it.  She said she would pray too.  I also put in on the prayer list at church every time I was there!  It took a couple of years at least, but I had to be patient and wait on the Lords timing.  I remember she told me NOT to force him to go, that he would be won over by my actions.  (Actions speak louder than words!)  She told me about a scripture in the Bible that says husbands can be won over by their wives!



My mom was the one to always take me & my siblings to church on a regular basis, my dad did not go very much.  I am so thankful that my mom did this, she was a wonderful example for me!  It takes a STRONG woman to be the responsible one in the house as far as religion!  Remember, Jesus is always with you!  He will never leave you nor forsake you!



PRAISE GOD!  MY HUSBAND AS COME A LONG WAY AND ATTENDS CHURCH WED. & SUN. :)  HIS EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED!



GOD IS SO GOOD!



YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH WITH YOUR DAUGHTER!  God blesses us with children, but we are suppose to raise them in the Lord.  Your husband is not going to be the one who has to answer to God for your actions.  YOU ARE!  You feel something important missing in your life and it is JESUS!



I pray you will be STRONG IN THE LORD!



God Bless,



Your Sister In Christ 

Wanda - posted on 04/02/2009

1

20

0

I have the same issue with my husband, but you hang in there. You take your daughter to church no matter what...I made the same mistake when my daughter was younger, but now that I have a grandson, I keep him every Saturday night so that he can go to church with me. Just hang in there, keep the faith and don't give up on God. My husband still will not go to church with me, and neither does my daughter and son-in-law, but I let them see my faith everyday and I pray that one day they will want a relationship with the Lord.

Laura - posted on 04/01/2009

377

6

58

I say don't force him to go. I stopped going to church for multiple reasons. I won't force my husband to go and I won't take my kids even if I did decide to go back. Forcing someone to go to church is shoving religion down their throat. I grew up in Christian house and went to church all the time. And I wont' tell anyone my reasons for not going unless they ask me because I feel that if I just tell them I'm shoving it down their throat and saying they're making a big mistake by going to church. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves whether or not they want to believe or not. No one can tell you what to believe.

Laura - posted on 04/01/2009

377

6

58

I say don't force him to go. I stopped going to church for multiple reasons. I won't force my husband to go and I won't take my kids even if I did decide to go back. Forcing someone to go to church is shoving religion down their throat. I grew up in Christian house and went to church all the time. And I wont' tell anyone my reasons for not going unless they ask me because I feel that if I just tell them I'm shoving it down their throat and saying they're making a big mistake by going to church. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves whether or not they want to believe or not. No one can tell you what to believe.

Tiffany - posted on 04/01/2009

38

25

3

Hi Caylyn I went through a similar situation, my advice was to continue going my self, read the word, pray and continue living my life a christian women and eventually my husband would see changes in my life. It was hard at first because not matter what I did nothing changed, but I had to let go and let God take control. He is now working on Sundays, but before his new schedule he was at church faithfully, our marriage ministry also helped out alot.  I will pray for your situation :)

Marsha - posted on 03/29/2009

7

24

0

1I will put you in prayer as you need to pray yourself. I agree with everyone so far you cannot force him to go. I know many moms who go to church with out dads and they just live by example. My husband goes but still has a hard time with believing. I just keep praying and I believe he will come around.

You are doing the right thing good luch and follow god.

Shelley - posted on 03/27/2009

1

6

0

Try the book The Power of a Praying Woman, you can't change him, but God can.

Rachael - posted on 03/27/2009

2

0

0

You cannot be your husband's Holy Spirit. Let God do the work THROUGH you. As you grow and obey God, your husband will see Him  in you. Let me tell you, this will not be easy. This will require much sacrifice on your part. But that is how he will see Christ in you. Concentrate on your walk with the Lord. Daily prayer, daily Bible study, daily obedience. Surround yourself with godly women who encourage you and won't discourage. If you have access to a BSF group, go! this is a wonderful Bible study that focuses on God's Word!

Kristi - posted on 03/26/2009

31

26

1

Wow! What good advice has been posted on here so far! Praise God for Christian wives!  I have been in a somewhat similar situation for 5 years now.  I was raised in church, my husband was not.  We met in college when I had been out of church for a while, but after our son was born I wanted to get back into church. He had been saved but had never regularly attended church, so it wasn't that important to him.  (My situation is a little different because my husband struggles with drug addictions which can complicate things esp. b/c he started going for a while but has stopped again.)



 A bit of advice from my personal experience: 1). Don't ever quit going.  I let pride get the best of me for a few years.  I didn't want anyone to know that I had just gotten married and my husband wouldn't go to church with me, so when he wouldn't go I wouldn't go.  I finally realized that I needed to be in a church where I felt comfortable going alone.  Now, I look back and think how silly that was and what I was robbing myself of.  2). If he does start going, and then stops it can be an emotional roller coaster.  Let God take care of it. He will.  3).  1 Peter 3:1 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over WITHOUT WORDS but by the BEHAVIOR OF THEIR WIVES, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." I stand on this verse alot.  I used to get mad at my husband when he wouldn't go to church, and I found myself arguing with him more on Sundays than any day of the week.  I heard Kay Arthur say one time, "There is such thing as righteous anger."  (I do think it is okay to let your husband know that it hurts you that he doesn't go, but not to the point where it becomes nagging and certainly not when you're mad. When doing this, don't use the word "you", only use "I". That usually helps me to put the focus on my feelings and not his actions.)  4). Pray, pray, pray!  5). READ HIS WORD!!!!  Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Rom.10:17).  Faith will get you through this, and utlitmately, your faith will get you what you want! 



Oh, there's so much more....i could go on and on b/c I have been blessed with some wonderful teachers and have dealt with this for a while.  God will bless you for your perseverance.  I will be praying for you and your husband.  Keep us posted!



A few recommendations for you and your husband:



Book: "What Every Man Wants In A Woman / What Every Woman Wants In A Man" - John Hagee and his wife Diana wrote this 2-sided book - it's great for all couples, pre-marital or married, stable or unstable, even great for single people. I have read the woman's side 3 times. It's good to read the men's side too, but I haven't got to it yet.  It really helps you to focus on yourself, not your spouse.



Book: "Lord, I Want To Know You" by Kay Arthur - this book (along with a DVD series) teaches the names of God.  It helps you learn who God is and what he can do for you.  AWESOME, AWESOME BOOK! 



Movie: "Fireproof"  -  How to love your spouse the way Christ loves us! Try to get your husband to watch this with you...there's also a bible study that goes along with this.



Christian music: I leave the radio on in my car 24/7 on our local Christian radio station.  Most of the music sounds identical to secular music, it just has different lyrics, so your husband may not even notice the change...he may even start singing the songs when he's on his own :)



www.raptureready.com/featured/duck/duck12.htm - this has ALOT of great biblical advice on marriage and the roles of husbands and wives 



I hope this helps! Stay strong in prayer and faith!  The Lord will bless you!

Sara - posted on 03/24/2009

21

7

4

All I can say is to second (third? fourth?) what has already been said - PRAY and keep going yourself (and taking your daughter). I know it's hard to go alone, but you know how important this is. Concentrate on getting closer to God yourself, and he will see the difference in you!



Oh, and if he's into "science", I would recommend "A Case for a Creator" by Lee Stroebel, from a Christian perspective, or "Shattering the Myths of Darwinism" by Richard Milton, from a secular perspective. Just a thought, if he likes to read. Maybe get them from the library and leave them where he would look at them?

Cissy Ronette - posted on 03/23/2009

4

13

0

As the others have said before Pray. You can not change anyone but yourself. You can only pray for him. Try to find a church home with a good mens ministry, as well as a home group that you are comfortable going to, then he may want to start slow and go to the group then as he meets a few other men it won't be a hard transition. My husband and I went through the same thing 5 years ago and now he is a wonderful spiritual leader in our home. He makes sure he prays for and with the kids. He has also been on several mens retreats. This is another thing your husband might like to do if he likes the outdoors, most retreats are at some camp site with outdoor activities.   Hope this helps some. It is hard finding the right church also. We have been in our current town for 7 months and have visited 9 -10 different churches before settling in with the one we have chosen. If you haven't tried a Non-Denomination church, try this route for your family. Non- Denominational is not as strict as others. We go to one in the morning and Baptist at night for our kids to be involved in RA's and Mission Friends. 

Heather - posted on 03/21/2009

4,634

42

1135

Although I have never been in that situation, I heard a Pastor preach a sermon about this a few years ago. It wasn't only for married couples, but anyone having a hard time coming to church alone and/or leaving a loved one behind:



Find a freind that you can go with, maybe even car pool with. To find a church friend, you may need to go to church by your self and seek someone out, other wise, you could try calling the pastor and explaining your situation and he might be able to pair you with someone. This way you not only have someone to sit with, but someone who will care if your there or not.



Next, every Sunday tell your husband that you are going to church and ask if he wants to come. Don't take it any farther then that, just ask. If he says no tell him that you love him and kiss him good bye. Ask EVERY week. Even if you know he will say no, keep asking. If you start a new study topic let him know. If he is open enough share with him when you get home what was discussed in church that day.



Once you have met some couples in the church, invite them to dinner. Make sure it is okay with your husband, but see if you can help him make some church friends too. Then they can invite him or encourage him to go too.



The two most important things are prayer and your witness. Let him know that God is important to you. Love your husband unconditionally, and show him how wonderful God is by your actions and words. If he likes what he sees he will be more curious about what it is. And pray for him everyday. Pray that you will be a good witness to him, and pray that God will open up his heart for the things you have to share, and that he will have a desire to know God.



I hope this was helpful for you, I have prayed for you and your husband, and will continue to do so. Go with God, he will lead you to where he wants you to be.

Rachel - posted on 03/21/2009

4

29

1

My situation is a bit different in that I don't have to beg any more, my husband was raised in church (Catholic). I too have weight issues.



In the end what God and I decided was I needed to lead my daughter, for the moment. I don't bagger or beg anymore. I tell him 'we' are going to church at this time tomorrow. If he wakes up and comes great if not, I tell him what the Word thought me while I was there and tell him about other's I saw there especially any people he might know.



It's been 7 years since we got married and now he comes with me once or twice a month. I'm not Catholic. I was raised Episcopal which is similar but still not the same. I chose however to worship with Methodists and Baptists years ago. I found there practices matched closest to my own understanding of the Word.



He isn't always comfortable but he goes. I think in the end 2 things worked their 'magic'. 1. God hearing my prayer and my willingness to do what he wanted, and 2. I reminded him one day that has a daughter to think of.



Most people would agree that they want their children to find someone who shares all the values they do but is a better person than they are. I asked him to look at himself and ask himself if he'd want his daughter to marry a man someday who is exactly as he is right now. I pointed out things (unrelated to church) that I knew he's going to expect a boy to do some day they he doesn't do now. It was the eye opener God had in-store for him.



He goes now. Not all the time but he does go. When he goes he's totally in the Lead of our family and we have a great time.



So Pray, be still and pray. God does answer us. This is what God asked me to do and it took almost 5 yrs to see him in church once a month. Be willing to what God asks of you, even when it makes you uncomfortable.

[deleted account]

Hi Caylyn,



I'm still in this situation with my husband.  Pam Williams gave you a wonderful scripture to reference and also prayer, as suggested by Tiffany Waller is imperative.  What I also do is thank and praise the Lord now, as I believe that He will save my husband in His time.  So I thank Him in advance. 



I also began reading a book called The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  She teaches you how to pray for your husband versus about your husband.  It's powerful, biblically based and has specific prayers about area aspect of his life.



I pray and look forward to the day that we both can celebrate when our husbands' claim their God-given positions.



God bless you and your family.



 

Sara - posted on 03/13/2009

129

16

15

I am in the same situation as you about your husband not willing to go. I was 19 when I had my son and I felt like I needed to bring him up in the church. I know it installed some great values for me. When he turned 3 I just took the huge leap of going to church alone. That was hard for me because I am very shy when I first meet people. I don't know what to say or do. I did not do anything on my own. I would sit in the back of the church and as soon as church was let out I would leave without talking to anyone. After 1 month someone came over to me before I could be-line for the door. We started talking and I connected with her. Suddenly I was staying for felowship after and talking to people on my own. It has been 7 years now that I have been going to that church every sunday (well most) and I am glad that I did.



I have been praying alot for my husband because he still refuses to walk in the doors. And I know that the lord is working on him in his own way. But do not let your husband get in the way of you getting close to Christ again. The longer you wait the harder it will become.

Dawn - posted on 03/08/2009

20

24

1

I'd say first of all, draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). God really is our source and the giver of life and wisdom and grace. It's so great that you are wanting a deeper relationship with Him! I think that if you start there - drawing near to God, then you'll know when and how to approach your husband.  1 Peter 3 says that if we live a life in front of our husbands that displays a gentle and quiet spirit, our husbands may be won over - and not only that, but you are very valuable in God's eyes because of it!  Don't get discouraged - just keep drawing near to God on your own (Eve walked with God alone before she was given to Adam) and trust that God is working in your husband as much as He's working in you!

Melissa - posted on 03/06/2009

85

3

7

I was in the same situation several years ago. I continued to go church & my husband stayed home. I prayed a lot. I met a girl at work & her husband is a pastor. She invited me to their church. I had felt God telling me that the church I was in wasn't the right one. I tried her church & felt at peace immediately. This is where God wanted me to be. It was a brand new church just starting. I continued to go without my husband. My husband & the pastor met at a work party & they had a lot in common. My husband decided to try the church at Christmas. He has been going ever since. I am now the nsery coordinator & preschool Sunday School teacher & he plays drms on the praise team. All I can tell you is to keep praying & listen to what God wants you to do. I hope this story is reassuring to you.

Caylyn - posted on 03/02/2009

58

41

1

Thank you all so much for all of your help i really appreciate it. =) I will be following all of your advice and truly appreciate it! I will let you know what happens and how it goes =)

Pam - posted on 03/02/2009

9

9

0

Quoting Caylyn:

My husband has bad experience with church from child hood and i have to force him to go..help?

Hey everyone! Im new here. My husband had bad experiences with church in his child hood. He went to a church that had elders and they called him out in from of the whole church so he doesn't like church and says he's a "realist" and like how Scientist are trying to prove how people could have been created from organisms and all this other stuff. How can i get him in church and find a good church to get him to go? If he goes i have to BEG him to go and its like 3 times a year at the MOST. I want my family to be in church and i want my daughter to know God. I need to get close with God again too, but its so hard because i dont want to go by myself, and so if he doesn't go them i usually don't go. I know its bad, but i have self confidence issues because of my weight after my daughters birth. Can anyone please help? Im 22, hes 26 and our daughter is 3. Thanks and its nice to meet everyone. =)


Hi Caylyn :  How great it is that you want to draw near to God.  That is exactly what He would want for you and your family.  The sad truth is that no one can be forced to choose God.  It is a personal choice, however, the good news is that if your husband is ok with you taking your daughter to church then you may do that.  And the better news is that when you are faithful to God he will bless you for your faithfulness.  The Bible says that your husband can learn from your example, read 1 Corinithians chapter 7. While most would say that this chapter is talking about divorce and separation, I would suggest that it has much to do with how God calls us to conduct our lives when we are in a situation when our spouce is not a believer.  God is faithful and He will bless you in church and outside of the church.  Jesus said that he came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).  I will pray that you you have courage to go to church and that your husband sees the change that it will make in your life and want the same thing!

Pam - posted on 03/02/2009

9

9

0

Quoting Caylyn:

My husband has bad experience with church from child hood and i have to force him to go..help?

Hey everyone! Im new here. My husband had bad experiences with church in his child hood. He went to a church that had elders and they called him out in from of the whole church so he doesn't like church and says he's a "realist" and like how Scientist are trying to prove how people could have been created from organisms and all this other stuff. How can i get him in church and find a good church to get him to go? If he goes i have to BEG him to go and its like 3 times a year at the MOST. I want my family to be in church and i want my daughter to know God. I need to get close with God again too, but its so hard because i dont want to go by myself, and so if he doesn't go them i usually don't go. I know its bad, but i have self confidence issues because of my weight after my daughters birth. Can anyone please help? Im 22, hes 26 and our daughter is 3. Thanks and its nice to meet everyone. =)


Hi Caylyn :  How great it is that you want to draw near to God.  That is exactly what He would want for you and your family.  The sad truth is that no one can be forced to choose God.  It is a personal choice, however, the good news is that if your husband is ok with you taking your daughter to church then you may do that.  And the better news is that when you are faithful to God he will bless you for your faithfulness.  The Bible says that your husband can learn from your example, read 1 Corinithians chapter 7. While most would say that this chapter is talking about divorce and separation, I would suggest that it has much to do with how God calls us to conduct our lives when we are in a situation when our spouce is not a believer.  God is faithful and He will bless you in church and outside of the church.  Jesus said that he came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).  I will pray that you you have courage to go to church and that your husband sees the change that it will make in your life and want the same thing!

Angie - posted on 03/01/2009

2

9

0

That's a hard one because I'm sure you know the hard truths- All you can do is pray, you can't force him, he has to want to be there. All of those are true but that doesn't help how you feel. The main thing I can say is don't give up on yourself or your daughter. You are a precious daughter of God! Your husband may just need to watch you grow and blossom to see his need for God in his life. Find a good supportive bible study or Christian mom's group to build you up and encourage you. It makes all the difference in the world when you know you're not alone. God bless you! And remember praying isn't the ONLY thing you can do it's the BEST thing you can do. And now you have others here praying for you :)

Tiffany - posted on 02/27/2009

1

4

1

I wish I could help you, I wish I the answer you are looking for, but all I can tell you to do is PRAY. Pray abou the situation, pray for your husband, pray for your daughter, pray for strength.



Believe me its not easy. I have a similar situation. Growing up my one of my big fears is that I would be that mom that took the kids to church by herself while my husband stayed home. Years later, that is exactly the situation I'm in. It is difficult. But we have to trust God. I hope that knowing there are others out there like yourself helps. Good luck and I will be praying for you.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms