My teenager claims to be athiest.

Becki - posted on 10/15/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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We have raised our children in a Christian environment and my other two are very aware that God created us but my 16 yr old daughter is not a believer. She is rebelling and listening to music that doesn't have good lyrics, when i try to talk to her about God she just seems to get driven further away from the ides. She won't go to youth group, I'm afraid that if something, God forbid, happens to her before she can receive Christ that she will know that heaven and hell do exist but she won't be in the better of the two. it's really a scary thought if u think about it!!

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Christa - posted on 10/17/2009

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Keep praying! I have found in my experience most people who claim to be an atheist are just mad at God. I never went as far as to say I was an atheist, but I was mad at God for years in high school. I went through a couple of unexpected deaths (one friend and my pastor) and I couldn't understand why God would take such good people so early in life. So I was mad at him for a long time, it was a couple of friends that helped me find my way back. I would just keep praying, pray that God would use the people in her life to guide her back. If she's like I was at 16 she's not going to listen to a word you say, but she will listen to her friends and other peers. Pray that the Lord finds the right person to get through to her. You could also try asking her why she feels that God doesn't exist. Remember to be very open and non-judgmental and just listen. Don't try and prove her wrong in this conversation. Just try and focus on why she is feeling that way, that may help you figure out the best way to guide her back. I will pray for you, for strength and wisdom to get you and your daughter through this. :-)

Rabecca - posted on 10/15/2009

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being a parent is scary and you just have to trust in the Lord to protect her and waltch over her you gave her that foundation with your prayers she will find her way to him .

Let me tell you I too was raised in a very faithfilled home and no I cant say I ever doubted God but I did turn away from him for years I found my self at 25 alone pregnant and terrified this was not my life or the life I wanted and it took me four years after that to get my head aound this was my life and it was not what God wanted for me he wanted all along to bless me and my life but it was me messing up and doing my will instead of his but I have to tell you my mom gave me that foundation and I know she prayed over me everyday I did find my way back and honestly I am stronger in my faith than most people I know that never strayed why because he lead me he changed my life and he rewared me I have a testamony that I know is real and come out stronger because of dont give up pray pray pray he maybe leading her one way to bring her out stronge in the end and his timming is different his is all knowing and perfect

Angela - posted on 05/01/2013

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Alessia, this particular part of CoM is a Christian forum, so many Christians would probably regard it as tragic that a family member has lost their Christian faith. Whilst these feelings are OK in themselves I appreciate it could be disturbing for an atheist to read them on here as though they were being branded etc ....

I do agree that people who are non-believers are still pretty ordinary folk like the rest of us and being an atheist isn't synonymous with being a criminal or a bad person. I made my own post to let people be aware of this and to let them know some good and positive stuff about humanists/atheists. Most of them are very respectful towards people who have religion - they might not share their beliefs but they'd defend anyone's right to HAVE those beliefs!

Your post was friendly and polite and we thank you for that. Please don't regard any of the comments as personal. I'll be the first to admit that there are more wars, bigotry and general UNFAIRNESS rooted in religion than anything else! At least all atheists are in agreement about what they believe/don't believe - there are so many religions in this world (and so many sub-sections or denominations within each religion) that it's extremely easy to have a heated argument with your very best friend - or your spouse! At least atheists are "equally yoked" with one another!

Alessia - posted on 04/30/2013

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I feel the need to step in here a moment and comment on all the replies with the "I'm sorry" and "Oh no!" and the tragic tone many of you are displaying.

Being an Atheist is not a terrible thing. It's not a fatal disease, it's not a crime, and it certainly doesn't merit the horrible doomsayer tone many of these replies are taking. An Atheist/Humanist/NonBeliever whatever you want to call it simply does not believe in any of the thousands of gods people worship. It doesn't mean they are going to be horrible people, murderers, rapists, criminals, etc. It doesn't mean they won't be productive members of society. It doesn't mean anything other than they don't believe in whatever superstition you subscribe to.

There are Atheists in all walks of life. Science, Education, Sports, the Military, Medicine, Parenting, Politics and the like. Your mailman could be an Atheist. Were that the case, is the mail they are now delivering somehow tainted?

Seriously, your comments are offensive and ridiculous. Imagine you were talking about someone of a different race and using the same language.

I am a mother, a daughter, a friend, a sister and a loving wife. We are an Atheist family. We love each other just like you all love your families. We hug and kiss and scream and yell. We bonk our heads in frustration and love chocolate. We simply don't have the same beliefs as people who believe in the supernatural. We are not monsters. Stop assuming and acting like we are.

Alison - posted on 10/19/2009

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Is she saying she is an atheist just to get you off her back, or is that really what she believes? Go out for coffee with her and ask her about what she believes. Try to find out where she is coming from and show her a lot of respect. She is turning into an adult and trying to figure things out on her own and not just take what her parents teach her for granted. Stop talking about God and start asking more questions.

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Angela - posted on 05/01/2013

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Alessia I agree with you wholeheartedly that there is too much division amongst different groups of people and it's a real shame because there is far more we all have in common than there is that's at variance and divisive.

There are a lot of earthly, human things that Christians are passionate about, but I know that Christians don't have the monopoly on decency, caring, honesty and integrity - it would be very wrong to assume that we do.

I also feel it is possible amongst Christians (and probably others with different religious beliefs) to be "so heavenly minded that you're no earthly use" - as the old saying goes. Generally, I tend to think that the God I believe in isn't too impressed with the behaviour and attitude of His followers.

I hope my explanation of how I see humanists wasn't offensive (it's one of my earlier posts a little further down the page).

Best wishes to you!

Alessia - posted on 05/01/2013

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Angela, forgive me I did not know this was a Christian forum until after I posted. I debated deleting my post but I decided against it because I feel like this "us" and "them" mentality has to change. In the long run, we all want the same things for our children: health, happiness, and a world where peace and love are respected and everyone is treated equally. It shouldn't matter who or what you pray to (or don't pray to, in our case).

Unfortunately, I have been following this post closely and I can see that we are a long way from "happy happy joy joy". You are all the same religion, praying to the same god, and bickering about "he said this" and "Jesus did that" and "you can't do this". It's baffling.

Just smile and be happy you're here, spinning along on this pale blue dot. :)

Angela - posted on 04/25/2013

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Why don't people know how to spell 'ATHEIST'?

Not even someone who claims to BE an atheist can spell the word correctly!

I'm from the UK by the way, where the word "atheist" is considered out-dated. Serious non-believers call themselves humanists.

In Britain, someone who used the word "atheist" to describe themselves generally would be regarded with amusement by any educated humanist or any educated Christian or indeed any adequately-educated person of ANY religion. It's a very old-fashioned term and not considered to be part of modern parlance!

No disrespect is intended here towards any Christian, any Humanist or any person with any religious beliefs/disbeliefs whatsoever.

And the Humanist viewpoint on this issue isn't Humanists versus Christians. Or Humanists and Christians.

It's Humanists and Theists. A theist is an individual that believes in God/a god(s)/goddess)es)/any deity or higher power.

A Humanist (or Atheist) does not believe in the existence of any of these. Nor do they believe in any power of evil, the devil, demons - or angels.

Since they don't believe in an afterlife, true humanists feel that since they only have the one, earthly life, they must live it the best way possible. This means owning their responsibilities to themselves, their family and the community wholeheartedly. It also means looking out for the needy and those who can't help themselves. They ideally respect the Earth and its resources and have respect for animal life. Many Humanists might be vegetarians or vegans (but by no means all of them). All of this isn't to please God - because they don't believe in God - it simply means they like to do the "right thing". Because they generally recognise that it takes all kinds of people to make a world, they respect the fact that many other people on this planet DO have religious beliefs. They also feel that since (in their eyes) there is no afterlife, then the only thing of value they leave behind them after death is their own good name - therefore they try to live a good life with this in mind.

Another interesting fact is that some Humanists are Pro-Life - not all Humanists of course - but some. Basically if you're only living ONE life - why end it before it's really begun?

Anyone who is passionate about being a Humanist (or an Atheist) is pretty much the way I've described.

Without wishing to offend, I would say that a great many people who CLAIM to be "Atheists" are actually either agnostics OR lukewarm believers in some religion - they certainly don't adhere to any of my description above - or at least to very little of it. Lots of people claim to be non-believers because the believers of whatever religion they have been exposed to may have been aggressively proselytizing and they just "want out". Lack of knowledge of the term "Humanist" is often a giveaway!! A dedicated Atheist calls him/herself a Humanist - someone who airily describes themselves as "Atheist" (in the hope of silencing someone who's parading their own religious fervour) doesn't really know much about what being a Humanist is about!


Next time someone tells you they're an atheist, just say "OK" and accept it. You can pray about it, you SHOULD pray about it. But don't rub their faces in it by insisting you're praying for them. Nothing will harden their hearts faster!

Carla - posted on 04/21/2013

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Amy, I'm sorry something has happened to you to make you decide God isn't real. What usually turns someone off of God is that the people who are CLAIMING to be His aren't. We can call ourselves Christians, but if we are not actively showing the Love of Jesus and living our lives serving others, we might as well stand in the garage and call ourselves a car. Does about as much good.

Bad things happen to good people. I hear people say 'if God was a merciful God, why does He allow bad things?' I don't have a clear answer on that one, at least an answer that an unbeliever would understand. We ALL have free will, from the oldest to the youngest. God allows us free will so we aren't robots mechanically serving Him. He wants us to love Him and serve out of a grateful heart. So, there is a lot of pain and suffering in the world. I challenge you to read 'The Shack' by Wm Young. It's about a father who's little girl was murdered and his struggles with God. It's really a good read.

If my children were running out into traffic, I would certainly yell a warning, and try to pull them back to safety. It's the same with choosing who you will serve. I am very proud to say my son is studying to become a minister, and my daughter is raising her children as Christian. I would like to think it's because I was such a good role model, but, sadly, it's just the opposite. I did a LOT of stuff wrong, but I completely turned control of my life over to Jesus about 12 years ago, and haven't looked back. I have apologized to them, over and over, for the short-comings in my life towards them, and am making a new life for myself, one that has Jesus in the center. They are seeing a difference in me, and I guess that's all I can hope for.

I pray for you, Amy, that you will find the answers for life you are seeking. Keep an open mind and it could change YOU. God bless

Amy - posted on 04/20/2013

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Well, here is my experience. I am an Athiest. Also, a musicien. Now, let me tell you that your daughter is perfectly normal. Now define "bad" lyics. If its swearing and you are not comfortable, ask her to keep it down. Now if it is lyrics descibing points of view about anything, let it be. You cant force a person to believe in something they dont. I partly resent my parents for forceing me to do this and that for "God". As a parent, im sure that would be worse than not having the same beleifs. Remeber, your kid, is the future of this earth. Support her, be a parent, dont let her growing up hateing you for not letting her be herself. Now, i wont go into why im an athiest, but your should talk to your kid about. It could change you.

Angela - posted on 08/15/2011

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I told my father I didn't believe when I did. It was a whole lot easier than having to justify everything. I went back to Church eventually but chose a different denomination to the one I was raised in. This annoyed him monumentally! And I stayed with the new denomination to this very day (in my early 50's now). I'm happy in my faith.

The teenager needs to make their own choices in their bid for independence and original approaches. No-one wants to be a clone of their parents. Respect this! And don't worry!

Dee - posted on 08/12/2011

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You can only teach your children about God. Unfortunately you can't impart belief. But if they have heard the Truth and you are continually praying for them, believe and have faith that they will return to it. Check out my blog post on this very thing. Be blessed! I am praying for your daughter. deegraham.blogspot.com

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009

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Becki:

I agree with the other mothers here... you are doing, and have done your job of raising your daughter in a Christian home. We can't make someone drink the water, we can only lead them to it. Your daughter has to make that decision on her own. All you can do is pray.

As a child that was raised in an "christian" home and I witnessed a lot of "stuff" that wasn't very Christian going on around and within my home, the minute I was able to stop going to church, I did. I didn't rebel with drugs, drinking, etc... but I just stopped going to church. I never stopped believing, I just didn't want to be surrounded by "holy rollers" and needed some space. I'd roll my eyes at my mother, but once I became a mother myself, you'd better believe we are a church going- bible believing, Christian family. I needed to be able to make the decision for myself to go to church and to have a relationship with Christ, not because my mother wanted me to.

Hope that helps... best of luck to you and your family.

Angela - posted on 10/19/2009

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Becki, I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. My son is only 12, but feels the need to "blend in." When actually, he's one of the popular boys. When I try to explain to him that God has put him in the "social" standing he's in for a reason. To share God's wonderful blessings...Continue to pray and get your pray warriors busy. Pray really does work and I am a firm believer that where two agree, then it will be. Try finding some christian groups that have the same genre of music that your daughter listens to and play them in the car when she's in there. If she drives, be SURE to lay hands and annoint her car as often as possible. God has given us the power to do many things. We must pick up our battle gear and get to it!

Armenthia - posted on 10/18/2009

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Oh my goodness parenting...at least being a good one is a very hard job. You do not walk alone in this. Like others I will tell you to pray....and continue to do so. You're most definitely NOT a bad parent. Do not FORCE the word but continue to plant the seeds of faith. The WORD can not return empty or without purpose. Understand this....she is working on her testimony.



GOD will show himself to her and when he does....well...get ready for the change. God works best when you're at the end and when all seems lost. It's scary when you think of things going on but Our God will REMEMBER YOU and all you've done for the kingdom and will bring her back to her "right" mind like he did the Prodical Son.



When Moses told GOD that I've done all you've asked of me...and yet Pharoah has gotten worse....GOD said...."Now, you will see who I AM." Your daughter will too.



Keep loving her no matter what. Our prayers are with you. Hang in there my sister. He's not finished yet.

Kim - posted on 10/18/2009

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All that you have done so far to help your children know the Lord will bear fruit in time. You may want to(in the meantime) look around your community for other Christian teen groups. We have one in our community called Young Life which is nondenominational but reaches teens in a way where individual churches haven't had as big of an impact. It's not a splinter group by any means; just a groups where kids can talk about their beliefs. Your daughter may find it's not God she doesn't believe in but just religion. I will pray for you all.

Robin - posted on 10/17/2009

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Just a bit of encouragement for you. Keep Praying and interceding on her behalf. Because she still is living under your roof she is covered with that hedge of protection.

I have a book that will bless you. ITs called the Power of a Praying parent. It is by Stormie O'Martin. YOu can get it at any Christian store and it has all kinds of short prayers to pray on behalf of our kids. VERY POWERFUL spiritual warfare prayers. I will stand in agreement with you that she will recieve salvation and that God will put Laborers in her path, In Jesus name. :)

Hillary - posted on 10/17/2009

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I am a Christian Mother and I know how worried you can be especially about your children and wether they will go to heaven..And make the right choices throughout life.i was watching a show on TBN and they were talking about how when unbelievers watched the movie "The Passion of The Christ" the holy sprit came to them and changed their whole outlook on life.This is just a suggestion and your daughter is 16 so she may not even agree to do this, but you could rent the movie and kindof have a family movie night.I'm sure you have been praying non stop for her , probably till you are blue in the face..lol God is listening to everything and he is waiting for the right time to intervene.I will pray for you and your family.Its just a suggetstion but that movie has changed a lot of lives because people weren't reeally aware of what Jesus sacrificed for us.God Bless ~Hillary

Stephanie - posted on 10/17/2009

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the only thing that you can do is fast and pray let GOD do the rest,HE knows what to do

Becki - posted on 10/17/2009

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Thanks for all the replies, they help lift my spirits, God Bless your families.

Jill - posted on 10/16/2009

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pray pray pray.... i was raised christian .. left at 18 .. God called me back at 40.... Satan gets a hold of teenagers and twist there thinking... just keep praying .. God is in control remember that .. it might be a test for your faith ....my children are 7,4,1 i pray Jesus comes back before i have to go through what you are ....i will be praying for your daughter... just remember she is God's child ,,,, your Father in heaven wants her to win the race also... trust Him

Tsema - posted on 10/16/2009

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sweetie, the best u can do is pray 4 her and tell ur family at church 2 join you in praying for her. pls read boks on parenting and trust the Lord for wisdom and guidance in steering her in the path of salvation. my prayers are with u. it is well

Susie - posted on 10/16/2009

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Becki: You have and are doing your job. You just remain firm in your faith. She has her own choice and accountability. If the worst happens she will have an opportunity in heaven to learn more and make her choice. I have a 27 yr old who is like your 16 yr old. I cry a lot in fear for his soul, in the end it is their choice. Be strong. God Bless.

Joan - posted on 10/15/2009

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God will always give us a choice even at the end before we die. Pray hun...everyday! I worry for my older boy...he believes but is not strong in the Lord. He is around people I dont apporve of but he is not living with me so i feel out of control. All I can do is teach them the truth and allow GOD to do the rest. We cant be the Holy Spirit but we can pray every moment for our children. I will pray for yours.

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