Questioning my faith and my future! Please help

Carla - posted on 10/04/2010

Janet, where do you live? I would like to participate in the prayer shawl activity. I could make them, if you send me dimensions, and you could take them to the church for anointing. I think the anointing service sounds wonderful!

I am retired on disability, and have lots of time. When the pain permits, I can knit, can't crochet anymore :( But I CAN pray for you all, and I do, the ones of you who have crept into my heart with your stories. I will cover, I will encourage, I will counsel. Wounded women are my heart, with children a strong second. I am always here for you all!

God bless!

Janet - posted on 10/03/2010

Carla, now you have me shouting....

One of the things our ministry does for others, is we have a Prayer Shawl Ministry, I would love to share some of this with you all, because we are so excited about what it does for others.

Just like the Woman with the issue of blood for so many years, she knew that if she could just touch, just the hem of Christ's garment she would be made whole. When Paul could not go out to meet someone to pray for healing, he would send an anointed cloth that he had prayed over and send it by a messenger to that person. It was tangible evidence of God's love, anointing by the Holy Spirit, and promise of healing and restoration.

Our family began talking about prayer cloths one day, my parents had done them for years, and I was sharing with my children about them one night while we were sitting around the fireplace making scarves, hats and blankets for Christmas. One of the kids asked, could they be made out of yarn, could we make prayer cloths out of what we do with our looms? To which, of course the ever proud mommy, replied, why yes, it could be out of anything we choose.

Thus began our new mission, we began making prayer cloths, which then turned into prayer shawls, intended to be able to wrap around the person while they were in their time of prayer and study in the Word of God, that they would have tangible evidence of God's touch and evidence that someone was always praying for them. It has now become prayer cloths for those in the hospital, where they can have them under their pillow, hold them close when they can't have large items with them, prayer shawls for the women, prayer scarves for men, and for either depending on situations, we make lap blankets for those that would need a covering. Each item is made by hand once a prayer request has been given to us from someone, asking for a cloth. It is made through either crochet or knitting loom and we pray over the item as it is being made for that person, for healing, restoration, encouragement, or whatever the case or need is. As one person is making it, there are at least two people praying, the creator and another to pray in agreement through the creation process for the intended persons prayers to be answered.

Once the item is finished, we take it to church, lay it at the alter, and then together our family, with others in our church that want to stay for the anointing ceremony all gather around, each taking a portion of the cloth in hand, we then anoint the cloth and together we pray that the Holy Spirit will come and fill the item with his anointing, that God would use this item for His purpose and that the recipient would have answers to prayer like they had never seen before, and that they would feel the presence of God while wearing the item and feel our love and prayers for them as well.

It has brought on amazing results and we have been through miles and miles of yarn that has given comfort to so many. My heart is full to see what just one small family can do with some yarn and a hook, see what their prayers and desires have brought about in our community.

In this place, we can be one another's prayer shawl or covering. We can hold each other up, pray for one another, lift each other up in prayer to God for all things to come together, and we can cover each other with a love of God that no one has ever known before. What do you think? Are we in this together? Are we going to work as one?

Carla - posted on 10/03/2010

@Janet--your phrase 'when I TRULY met the Master' hits the nail on the head! I cannot speak for anyone other than myself, but I had been raised in church, knew God, but didn't KNOW God! No church taught us to sit down and count the cost of following Jesus. When He talked to the rich young ruler, He made a point of telling him his quest for riches had to go. He had to hate his life, hate his boat and house and car, everything on earth except Jesus. THEN we are starting the right track. THEN when we get there, we CAN bind together with the other like-minded women and THEN we can turn the world upside down! I have always felt that there was more to church than simply going in, singing 3 songs, hear a sermon, pray and go home. I have always longed for what the Early Church had. They ate together, they prayed together. They cared for each other, if someone was lacking, they came to the rescue. They cried when someone was sad, and laughed when happiness came. THIS is what Jesus had in mind for us. (I'm getting excited, too!)



Keep on seeking! We are entering into a time like no other human being has seen before--the coming of Jesus! We are going to be sorely tried, but if we are following closely, we will win!



God bless!

Janet - posted on 10/02/2010

I was back reading other posts today, and I was thinking about how many people in this world are really struggling with this same thing. Even if they are children of God. Doesn't that show us that it isn't just the unsaved that Satan messes with...

I was told recently by another pastor that you know your calling, you should be able to start getting clues of what God wants you to do or has assigned for you in your life by where Satan attacks you most. Really, think about this... when we are so paralyzed by worry and fear, we can't move forward, we can't even begin to think about how we can be effective for God because we are so stuck in our fears that we can't move forward.

What if I fail as a wife, as a mom, as a daughter, as a child of God? How can I move forward? What if I can't afford it? what if someone else finds out? What if I lose my job? What if my fears become a reality... all the what ifs about the future that we can't see the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel. We can't see where the beginning is from the end.

We need to number one, make sure that our heart is right with God, that you have accepted him as your savior, then you need to make sure that as you are growing in the Lord, that you are building your one-on-one relationship with God, that you are meditating on the WORD of God, and praying without ceasing. In these things we will find healing, peace and build our faith. You will find the strength to face your fears and worries and be able to cast them aside.

The Scriptures say in Matthew 19:26, "But Jesus beheld them, and said until them, With men this is impossible: but with God, all things are possible." He was talking about how salvation could be done if a man obeyed the commandments, live a good life, but then still not achieve salvation, and the disciples were confused about how they could be saved without all those good things. Christ was telling the rich young ruler that he had to give up all he had and cherished to follow Christ and put God first in all he would do.

I just think about all of us, what all we have been through or are going through with your doubts, fears and anxiety and think... Imagine, if everyone of us, bind together in the name of Jesus Christ and we pray in agreement that His will and way, His healing touch and His strength would be given to each of us, just truly imagine what we could accomplish together in HIS NAME. Just thinking about it makes me so EXCITED that I almost can't stand it. God can do anything, and the scriptures tell as as we already seen, that with Him all things are possible. All we need is a "renewing of our minds" Romans 12:2. When we have that renewing we can get what Philippians 2:5 speaks about... "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus."

I know that some may still need medication I am not saying doing this is going to take the place of a Doctor's advice, but I can tell you, from experience that when I began my life's journey it was rough, I attempted suicide the first time at 6 years old, and all I wanted to do was make the pain, fear, anguish, and worry go away. But when I truly met the Master, began working on renewing my mind, setting myself free from the spirit of fear and worry, God truly set me free. I have not taken another anti anxiety, antidepressant, or anything else in these medicinal families. God changed my mind to a mind of Christ, He changed my heart to a heart of a servant, and He changed my life, from one of pain, hurt, and anxiety to one of peace, love, contentment, JOY, and healing. It was more than the medicines, it was more than the mental blocks and fears, it was about finally learning the to live in the fruit of the spirit, in the ways of God, I had to PUT ON the armor of God, I had to put my faith to action.

We can all do it together, we can all pray for one another, we can all pray and believe together that God is the Lord of all and is the one who can walk us through the darkest valleys into His Light and Love. How about it, Are you with me?

Janet - posted on 10/01/2010

To all you wonderful mothers searching for an answer, needing understanding or help in this matter, I want to tell you something wonderful...

There is deliverance from your spirit of fear and anxiety. I know there is meds out there, but trust me when I tell you, I have tried them, I am allergic to them ALL. There is a reason that God wanted you to know this, wanted to talk to you about this very topic.

Do you know that the Bible commands us 365 times in the bible, in different variations of the command... Fret not, worry not, take no thought for tomorrow, take no thought for what you should eat... COMMANDS, not suggestions.

1 John 4:18 He says in his word, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love has casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him first, because he first loved us.

2 Timothy 1:7 (King James Version)
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


I once had a spirit of fear, it was so powerful, it was bad... I couldn't eat, sleep, send my kids off to school, or even walk out the front door of the house. As soon as I woke up in the morning that is where my first panic attack would paralyze me in my bed for the first 1/2 hour of the morning wasted on that panic attack. Then the kids would argue about what she had on or what was going to go on that day, who was picking them up... there goes the next one. I would have to end up calling in sick from work calling the kids out of school and sit at the house all day, so that we were all safe together.

The pills only made things worse, because then I became homicidal you have not made any real little opportunity to be "normal" ever again. Whatever normal is. Finally I read and reread these big my fears were like, gone. completely. No more. I urge you to study all you can about the words fear, fret not, worry not, take no thought, take yourself through the scriptures today, and show yourself what God is trying to tell you. We are to seek after Him and His righteousness. God will show you the way, he will show you how to be healed if you do as you are commanded. I know I did...

I would be happy to help and offer more at another time, just have a lot to say about this one... This is one place where when you are delivered, you just want to shout it from the rooftops.

Nancy - posted on 09/30/2010

Salvation is as easy as A, B, C! A: (Romans 3:21-26), verse 23 "...ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." B: (Acts 16:29-34), verse31 "...BELIEVE in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..." C: (Romans 10:8-10), "...if you CONFESS with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." However, living the Christian life can be challenging sometimes. We have a spirit nature when we are saved, but we live in a sin-nature world this side of heaven. What gave me purpose in my spiritual life is found in the words of Jesus, (Matthew 25:35-40), verses 35-36, "... I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was stranger and you invited Me in, I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me." I love verse 40, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me." I have anxiety attacks and panic attacks. My doctor says my body has a chemical imbalance which causes these attacks. I take Zoloft which works for me. Philippians 4:6-7, is the scripture I hold onto when life seems to overwhelm me: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by PRAYER and supplication (petition), with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God; and the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will GUARD your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Your doctor should know what is best for you. If he doesn't, maybe you need another doctor's opinion of your needs.

Carla - posted on 09/29/2010

@Hey, Jordan, I do believe you have a ministry brewing!

Jordan - posted on 09/28/2010

I have been exactly where you are. I think the best thing to do it to make a conscience decision to not give up on your faith (because we know it is the truth, we just lack the faith) and serach these answers out. The Bible says knock and the door shall open, seek and you will find. So seek these answers out and do not put a time limit. Ask God all the questions, but be willing to listen for his voice (through another person, a thought, an event) to teach you. Get a buddy that you can be 100% open with and be open, talk to them, let them encourage you, and challenge you. Part of the problem is fear here. I do not know your religious background. But the Bible says that God did not give us a spirit of fear but of sound mind. If your mind is not sound and you are not walking in faith then you are going to be berated by fear. So search the scriptures so that you will KNOW what God is and exactly what He did FOR YOU. He gave up everything, his life, for you. Rebuke fear, run to God, worship him. The Bible says that when we praise God and say Jesus name, that even if we clap demons run. Bring your life into submittion to what God says. Call out to Him! This is one of the most important times in your life. A couple years ago my church split, close friends were being abused, my life was in transition and I was STRESSED. I broke down. I will never forget the moment that I thought 'God maybe we should part ways' I knew He was true, but I felt like He had let me down. I knew the moment that I said it that I was wrong, I felt conviction. But I also knew that I needed to understand why I had that thought and still felt it even though it was wrong. Our walk as Christians is a faith walk. God did not say that He is going to explain everything, that He is going to make it easy, or that we will all be happy and rich with no worries. God said that the road is narrow, that we will be persecuted for our BELIEF in HIM. He blesses us for that! He said that our yoke will be light. And our yoke will be light if we keep giving ALL that we are and have to HIM. And stop picking it up because we are afraid to give God control over our lives, because we know he can, but we question if He will. John 3:16 say 'For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever BELIEVES in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.' We have to believe. We have to believe that if things go wrong, that if we die and do not get to see our children grow up, that if our family is being hurt, that if everything around us falls apart, we have to BELIEVE that GOD HAS GOT IT!!! That he has a plan, that we might not understand that plan. Look at Joseph. His brother betrayed him, sold him, he was a slave, he was a prisoner, for years, many many years. But God had a plan. I am sure Joseph was wondering that whole time what God was doing but he still BELIEVED, called, and lived as God wanted him to. And God used him to save his country. The thing is guys, we are all going to die. Whether it be tomorrow or when we are ninety-eight is our sleep. The Bible tells us we should be excited to go to heaven and wait for it! But we are all a little nervous to very scared. Why? It is because we have made earth our eternal home and not heaven. We say we want to go to heaven when we die and not hell because we need to know that there is something else. We cannot give up hope that we are nothing after this life. Well the Bible says we are eternal! It says to store up things in heaven and not here on earth. Hebrews 11:1 talk about faith. It says how the begining of faith is hope. It gives the definition of faith, check it out. Do NOT LOSE YOUR HOPE! DO NOT LET GO OF YOUR FAITH! FIGHT FOR IT! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE! FIGHT FOR YOUR GOD! Epehesians tells us we do not have to fight with flesh and blood but with powers and principalities. So lets stop worrying about everything here, start having faith or hope in God, and put on our armor. Know your weakness and strengthen yourself. We struggle with fear. Lets arm ourselves with memorized scripture so that when we are afraid we can tell that fear to get lost and remember Gods promises. Remember his presence. Remember what He did for us and what he has for us now and to come. We have to prepare our families. We have to show them. But first and along the way we have to live it as we build our foundation and on top of that. I hope I have made since. But I am passionate on this subject. Do not let fear paralyze you spiritually or make you go in circles. FIGHT!!! ARM YOURSELVES!!! GOD IS ON OUR SIDE!!!

Michelle - posted on 09/28/2010

Hey Girl! I know what you are going through. I have been there. I was exactly like that for at least 22 years (I started with anxiety when I was a kid and got WAYYYY worse when I got older) felt guilty about every thing, I questioned my faith for a long time even though I didn't say much to anyone. Everyone gets scared and doubt our faith once you get over this "hill" you will come out on the other side even stronger than you can imagine. For me I really prayed hard I felt like I was talking to myself sometimes. Then God gave me strength (that is the only way I can describe it) and he reveled to me what I knew just in a light that helped. I basically "decided" I am not going to do this anymore! I am going to stop worrying this is NOT what I am here for. I realized that most people are like me and that is why there are so many that respond to you and to me. The devil tries REALLY hard to get you to doubt but God is stronger and he has the power over me! So when I start to feel like I used to I say NO!!!! I am NOT going to do this to myself!
Just know that you are not alone in the battle we have been or are there with you! That is why God gave us friends and people to talk to! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Tracy - posted on 09/28/2010

First and foremost, get off the wellbutrin. It's a nasty drug with tons of nasty side effects. Try a different drug. Second, it's normal and human to question things from time to time. It's not okay for it to control every moment of your life though. It sounds like you're having an adverse reaction to meds. But yes, God will be with you every step of the way no matter what happens and the "afterlife" is a reward of sorts for believing now. You'll never ever be alone or without purpose or direction as long as you've got God in your life.

Diane - posted on 09/24/2010

This is sounds a lot like me when I was dealing with post partum depression. If I were you I would imerse myself in prayer and scripture and find a Christian family counsellor to go to and talk with about this. I found it very helpful when I was going through PPD and it's also important to remember that the enemy will attack you at your weak points so if this is something that is bothering you and you are particularly suceptible to spiritual attack then you may be under spiritual attack and the best way to fight back is to pray, pray, PRAY! Good luck and I will pray for you and the other ladies on here who expressed simillar anxiety.

Tracy - posted on 09/24/2010

I have not had anxiety problems, but I have had many problems. The only answer that I found was

realizing who I was in Jesus Christ and the victory and power we have because of him. When I was dying he gave me hope and strength and brought me through it all. Of course I had to do my share in believing and growing my faith.



My advice to you is to find scriptures that give you hope and are encouraging to you. Then memorize them and repeat them all of the time and keep thanking God for your healing and victory.



I had to make a choice either to believe man or to believe the word of God. I chose God's word. Everything is a choice for us. Fifteen times in Matthew Jesus refers to our faith and belief. It will be done unto us according to our faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God Hebrews 11:6. Romans 14:23...for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.



The next thing that I would do is to find an holistic doctor and go to herbs and get off of the drugs. That is what I did. http://www.hacres.com may be a big help to you.



The other thing that I found out was that many of the foods we eat and the products that we use and trust have a very damaging effect on our bodies. You may find this link interesting: http://www.angelfire.com/az/tile/BUSINES... on products and this one on foods: http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/935.htm...



Ever so slowly they damage our bodies and our minds. Don't be fooled they affect us more then we think. Little by little they destroy our bodies and our minds. A wonderful book that helped me was "Alkalize or Die" by Dr. Theodore A. Baroody.



Resist the bad thoughts those are not necessarily your thoughts. Rebuke them in the name of

Jesus and as in Philippians 4:8 think on good things. Jesus came that we could have life and have it more abundantly John 10:10. As a man thinks in his heart so is he Proverbs 23:7. Our job is to guard our thoughts.



Remember All things are possible with God Matthew 19:26. I am with you always Matthew 28:20.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. John 14:1. Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5



Keep focusing on all of your blessings, hopes and dreams being thankful and keep a grateful heart. If Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior and you believe in him you are saved. You will go to heaven when you die and live with him for eternity. Each one of us has to make that choice and decision. Your children are under your umbrella of faith.



So be of good cheer you are on the right track by reading your Bible. Next is to internalize it and to truly believe what it says! Stand firm on the word of God. Also be careful what you speak. Remember what you think about comes about and what you expect you get. Think on good things! God Bless!

Jill - posted on 09/24/2010

I have two websites for you to visit: experiencelifenow.com and AllYouNeedIsLoveBlog.com. They are both full of truth and answers. Good luck to you! I hope the information on these websites will help until they get your medication straightened out.

Melinda - posted on 09/24/2010

Be careful with the medication. Some meds will cause you to think it is OK to commit suicide. Talk to your husband, tell him what you are feeling, talk to your pastor. Does your church do small groups? Reach out to them. God wants us in relationships.
I think as we age, and especially as we have family it is normal to realize that we are not going to live forever. I worried so much when my children were little that something would happen to me and I wouldn't be around to take care of them. What would happen to them, who would care for them? The answer is God, He is able. You also will find your answer in fellowship with God and His people.
My biggest caution to you would be: don't just talk about this to people on-line. Talk to your husband, and others.

Barbara - posted on 09/24/2010

Alot of the times when we reach a certain age and have children we start to thing this way. It is normal. I would like to tell you that God is still in control no matter what. We are to be anxious for nothing the Bible tells us. Which is really hard in this day and age. I had a friend that was on that med and they did not like it. It mad them feel strange and they seemed to drift off, (if that is the proper word) in a different world. Jesus loves you and He is alway there for you-- no matter what. He never said that you wouldn't have troubles, but He did say that He would always be with YOU. Praise God :)

Carla - posted on 09/24/2010

I can relate to how you are feeling. And until I saw how many people have responded to you, I thought I was alone. So, let me start by thanking you for putting this on here. Next, I have to agree with your husband when he said to go back to your doctor. I know that with my axnixy it took quite a few "trial and error" with the meds. I was on Welbutrin and I know that it didn't work for me. There were times that I felt I would never feel "right " again. I felt alone and like I was going crazy. I kept asking myself and God why I was feeling this way. I wondered why God would let me feel like this. It is very hard esp. when you think that God has left you to deal with this on your own or that you are going crazy. If your husband is being supportive that is one thing that you have going for you. You need to realize that you are not going through this alone that he is right there with you. Next I am wondering what tyoe of doctor you are seeing for your anxity? I didn't get the correct type of meds that helped me until I went to a phychiatrist. Again this does NOT mean that you are crazy. The reason that I am suggesting it is becuse they are more.... equipt to offer diffrent meds that might help you. A reg. doctor can try diffrent meds but they are not really an expert in what meds help with anxity and at some point they will tell you that you might need to see a shrink. Which again is what happened to me and I wish someone would have told me, it would have saved alot of time. But above all you need to remember you are not going through this alone, you have your husband and all of us on here. And God hasn't left you. He is still right there by your side walking with you. I hope everything works out. May GOD bless and watch over you!

Briana - posted on 09/23/2010

I have been so blessed to know God and know of his plan for me. I take such comfort in his teachings and I know there is an afterlife. I believe this life is a probationary period for us, what we do here holds eternal significance. It will determine our place in the life after this. We also have the opportunity to teach and raise our children to live in such a way to be worthy and prepared to be with their families after they die and to return to live with God. Not to mention the more immediate effects raising them to live righteously will have for them here now. When we teach our children how to live a happy and fulfilling life , it teaches them how to raise their children the same way, just think of the generations that will be effected by how you live your life right now. These things, they are the point.

Medication always plays a role when it's needed, you can't ignore the effects your physical body is having on your daily life. This takes time and patience, but until then take it upon yourself to do some research and find out for yourself what is true and what your purpose is. Don't be afraid to reach out and explore what different church's have to say and teach about this. Pray that God will help direct you and bless you with his spirit to know what is right and true, and steer you clear of congregations that do not teach his word in it's entirety. Good luck with everything!!

Crystal - posted on 09/23/2010

As a christian woman I started having a problem with panic attacks I felt like any moment I was going to die.I am on meds but when they start I will pray to God to let let them pass quickly.and he does.You know when you are having them the Devil will work on you over time,Just keep your head up you will get better in time.My mother and mother in law has been through this also.Have your hormone levels checked also this can cause you alot of problems to.God bless you,

Carla - posted on 09/22/2010

A counsellor is a very personal thing. Even if you see a Christian counsellor, that doesn't mean that he/she will share your particular slant on God. IF you feel like you need to talk to someone, I would suggest your pastor and wife (never pastor alone), or a trusted older person in your church, one who has been through a little of what you are experiencing, and knows you can get through this.

I don't want to step on any toes, and I am not saying doctors don't have their place. I can tell you, from experience, that psychiatrists and psychologists try to put a band-aid on the problem with all kinds of drugs that you may not be able to handle. I am proof of that. I had also gone to a psychologist with marital problems along with my depression, and after about 6 mos, he told me if I went back to my husband, he would come and drag me out of the house! My husband wasn't abusive, we were just drifting apart. I tell you this so you understand that everyone has their own agendas, and the only way you will feel comfortable is if you are getting counselling/advice from someone who knows what you are seeking.

I know you said you are getting better, and thank God for that! I just want you to go into counselling, if that's the route you go, with your eyes wide open.

God bless, honey

Eliese - posted on 09/22/2010

By the way, I have taken for granted that you will pray about it. Perhaps I shouldn't. Of course, I forgot, but others have not! Yes, pray. Yes, seek help from other sources. God gave us all these sources for help, don't be afraid to use them. We'll all be praying for you!

Eliese - posted on 09/22/2010

The first thing I want to say is that if you're having anxiety problems, Wellbutrin is probably the WORST choice of meds for you! Your doctor should know this. If you're not seeing a psychiatrist (forget the stigma--you need a Dr. who specializes in the pharmacology of these kinds of medicines!), you should. They are trained in, and keep up on all the latest advances in medicines for exactly such problems. If you really want to stick with your own doctor, then ask about something like Effexor ER, which I believe is now available in generic form (venlafaxine ER), or another such medicine that works on norepinephrin and seratonin. I have been dealing with this type of issue off and on for years, and I know that while I was initially opposed to medication, it has helped me tremendously by allowing me to live my daily life, and helping me to be able to deal with the normal anxieties of life in a more manageable fashion. In other words, it hasn't changed who I am at my core; I'm still the same person. But now I feel more capable of handling what life may throw at me. And when I feel more specific types of anxiety, like what you're describing, it allows me to seek the help I need.

After finding the right medication for you, or better yet, while you are still seeking the right meds and dosing, I would definitely find a professional to talk to about this. Since you have always been a religious person, as you say, you might feel more comfortable seeking out a Christian counselor. But, and I hope that people will understand that I am trying to think of your best interests here, you might actually do better with someone who is slightly more neutral. That way, you might feel more comfortable talking about some of the questions and/or doubts you might be feeling. And I think it's ok to have these feelings. Sometimes, you come to a point in your spiritual life where you have to really think about what you believe, and why you believe it. Personally, I don't think that makes you any less of a Christian, or person of faith, especially if you come out on the other side of it with a better understanding of yourself and your faith. There's a big difference between "testing god" and questioning yourself. So, if you can find a counselor or therapist who will "allow" you to speak freely, if only because they keep themselves and their beliefs out of the equation, you may be able to really discover what is causing you so much stress.

The last thing I'd like to add here is a question, and it is related to the idea of a neutral counselor. Do you think that, perhaps, part of your anxiety might stem from the simple fact that you're starting to have questions at all? For whatever reason? I know that, when I was a bit younger even than you, I started to have my own questions. And I know (now) that a big part of my fear and anxiety was because I felt guilty for having any kind of questions at all. I believed that a true, good Christian never questioned anything, just believed. But as I began to search, I realized that if I wanted my faith to mean anything to me, I had to make sure that it was right for me, and that I was really doing what I thought was right and true. I won't go into my whole story and journey here. That's not the point. I just want you to know that you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to know more, or for having questions, if, indeed, that is what you are feeling. If it's not, then please just disregard this part of my post. It's just something I wanted to throw out there, for you to think about. God gave us brains for a reason, and I think that to have a healthy sense of our spiritual place in this life, we do need, eventually, to discover what it all means to us, rather than accepting someone else's interpretation of it. After all, part of being a good Christian, at least as far as I've been taught, and believe, is to be able to share with others our own relationship with God. If we don't know what that is, how can we share with others?

I wish you much luck, and many, many prayers. And I urge you to seek outside help, whether it be a Christian counselor, a priest, pastor or minister, or someone whose personal beliefs may not be introduced into the situation. (And please, to anyone who may decide that I am saying that a "neutral" party equals someone who isn't a Christian and is trying to get you to believe what they believe, know that is NOT what I mean. I simply mean a counselor or therapist who listens to all people equally, without coming from a certain point of view. I'm sure there are Christian counselors out there who can do that, as well. But I think in this instance, it might be best for K's Mom to have someone to talk to whose main focus is not on Christianity itself.)

K's Mom, I urge you to find someone with whom you are comfortable, with whom you feel you can just speak your fears and anxieties, and not worry about what they, or anyone else, may say or think about it. Whoever that might be. Only you can know. Then, with their help, try to discover what it might have been that threw you into such a state of discomfort and confusion. Try to find the instigating event, if there is one, and then perhaps you can uncover the issue at the core. More than anything, however, I hope you are able to find some peace with your life. It would be a shame to lose you. And remember, there is no shame in asking for help. Sometimes, the simple realization that we're not alone can make our problems more manageable. Good luck to you.

Lorinda - posted on 09/22/2010

It is really easy to get caught up in worrying about things because we do not live in a perfect world--stuff happens and we don't know how to not be controlled by our emotions. It feels so real that we just let it be and go with it. I am so thankful for the passages in the Bible about worry. One in particular is in Matt. 6:25-34. God says that he takes care of the birds. He goes on to say how much more important you are to him than a bird and that he will take care of you too. I had a friend who was worrying about her finances because it was time for school to begin and her kids needed clothes, she had just lost her glasses and would have to replace them, and seems to me that there was another things coming quickly that would cost money. God had just taken me through a couple years of releasing my problems to him and just choosing to trust him that I was able to share with her this passage and pray with her. The next week when I saw her again she was able to tell me that a check had come in the mail to cover some of the expenses, she found her glasses that had slipped down between a dresser and her kid's bed, and her oldest boy's dad bought him a whole new set of school clothes. God is amazing. He loves you so much. Trust Him to care for you--he will.
Also think about what kinds of things you listen to or watch on tv. We were created to be like what we consume our minds with. Fill your time with praise music for awhile. Spend some time thinking about the things that are wonderful in your life. Count the things that you can be thankful for. When you start to worry or panic, you can start thanking Jesus for all these things and who He is. This will help you put aside your emotions and be able to trust God. Jesus doesn't want us to follow "religion" because then it is just a set of rules to follow without ever having to encounter the God of the universe who so desperately loves us. He's not disappointed in you. He wants to spend time with you. Emotions do not tell the truth and we don't have to let them win. Yay! I am so glad for that!

Carla - posted on 09/22/2010

God always answers us when we cry to Him! Thank God for your good report, darling!

K's - posted on 09/22/2010

thank you all so much. I am feeling like I'm on the right path, We are weening off the welbutrin, and I will start with lexipro on Sunday. I have been talking to God on a daily basis, because I know medicine is not the only answer. I think this was maybe a reminder for me not to forget him in my life. At least I hope so. I haven't had a panic attack in a few days, so I am very optimistic that I will be back to normal soon. Thanks again for all your help, I don't feel so alone and crazy getting this all out in the open

Tammy - posted on 09/22/2010

Definately keep in regular contact with your doctor, there are a multitude of medications for anxiety try something new, celexa, zoloft, etc, I couldn't take welbutrin as well as about a dozen of other people I know, find what works. As for your recent obsession with the after life, sounds like a reaction to the meds, very common. Post partum? It's scarry. But for some encouragement. God is the same yesterday, today and forever, He is and will always be the God in our highs and lows of our lives but if you are doubting perhaps is time for a renewal in your relationship to God, began again, confess and rededicate your life, fill your mind with His Word and began again, walk by faith daily, hour by hour, minute by minute. Go to the doctor, fix those meds, ask God to give you wisdom in this situation as well as healing and peace, it's gonna be okay, don't delay.........

Glenda - posted on 09/21/2010

First, let me say that "being religious" is not the same as being a child of God. You have to admit that you're a sinner, believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and confess your sins and ask Jesus into your heart. You can live a "good" life and go to church for years without being saved. Second, if you're having such anxiety issues, maybe you're on the wrong medication (not the wrong dose). Third, if you ever question the existence of God, look at your baby. Think about ALL that has to go RIGHT for that baby to have been conceived, carried for 9 months, and born. Something like THAT doesn't just "happen." God has to make it so. Praying for you.

Carla - posted on 09/20/2010

No matter how many meds they put me on, nothing helped. I understand now, 15 years later, that God had something special for me to do for Him. He wanted me to go deeper spiritually to prepare for this mission. I had anxiety attacks, depression, suicidal tendencies, along with a couple attempts, etc. Satan was messin' with my brain, trying to stop my discovery of my ministry and the goal He has for me. Your questions are all answered in the Bible. Start with Matthew and read to 3rd John. You will find what your heart cries for, and yes, He will be there with you, you will see your loved ones, if they were saved, yes, there is an afterlife. As a matter of fact, a dear missionary friend of mine and I were talking the other day. She gets to see the beauty of the world, while I sit here in Michigan. I told her I live my life vicariously through her. She said (listen to this), 'the new Heaven and new earth will be just exactly like seeing the beautiful sites for the first time. We will be able to see the pristine beauty, hand-in-hand'. It struck me to the core. Jesus said in the end the heavens and earth will roll up and go away, and a new Heaven and new earth will be created for the New Jerusalem. We always think of Heaven as sitting on a cloud playing harps, but she brought it home to me in a beautiful way, and since she said that, I can't wait!



I couldn't go on with life as it was, and they had me on so many anti-depressants at once, along with muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories for major health problems that I was a zombie. So, be very careful about the meds. Check each one out online before you fill your Rx. Also, Wellbutrin has been known to cause birth defects, so I would be careful if you are planning on having another child sometime in the future.



We have been reading Ephesians 6 about putting on the armor of God to protect ourselves against the devil. We read it every day and mentally put on our armor. I would suggest you read that and understand that if we are clothed with the armor of God, nothing can harm us. Satan's best trick is to try to make Christians doubt what we hold as Truths, and then start with the depression. I have to hold tight to my hold on Jesus every day to protect my mind.



If you want to talk privately, send me a message. You can get through this, K, and all of you that have replied here. I am living proof of this!



God bless, darlings!

K's - posted on 09/20/2010

That's what I thought to myself too. I have been fighting it. I'm not going to let it get the best of me, but I do need some help. I will be going into the dr. today and hopefully trying something different. Because I know i'm not supposed to have more anxiety than before I started with the meds! Thanks for all your suggestions and support!

Candy - posted on 09/20/2010

I agree with Star. I have been on different meds. until I found one that works for me. I am on a very low does. You may just need something to take the edge off. It is the devil trying to upset you. He knows where to hit you and he is. Keep trying and talking to your dr.

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

one more thing Until you find the right doses or medication,. it can really mess with your mind. be patient. Realze that it is a drug and sometimes it takes the right "size" to fit!

Starr - posted on 09/19/2010

I too am bothered by anxiety. I have meds but only use them for my panic attacks. Sometimes I feel so bad because I think "well if I must not be 100% with the Lord or I would not feel so anxious" Panic attacks are very scary and hard to get through sometimes. But, I try to tell myself that God is taking care of me. His way of getting me through this when I think that I can't is through the medication. And, I think that in some point in our lives we all question the whole "after life" I think that when our time comes he will be there to help us have an easier cross over. I will pray for you. And as the lady above me said, you are not alone. I understand.

Alyssa - posted on 09/19/2010

I have no advice to give but you are not alone. I am having a simalar problem. I haven't been on any anxiety meds but I think it might help. I too have been freaking out about what will happen when I die. I believe in god with all my heart and whenever I feel like that I pray that he will give me strength to keep my faith. It helps some :) Talking to your doc about how you're feeling is a good idea but I'd also look into a phsychologist. I hope this helps.