Saved and Unsaved

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

Shelia,

Sweety what I'm about to tell you you may not like but here it goes any way....You can not control what happens in your ex's house the only thing that you can control is your own house hold...As long as you are bring your boys up in the Lord and the ways of the Lord and pray over them as they are with thier father...When they come to you with what is happening at thier dads house go to the word for the answers get a good concordance that can help you find scripture on the subject that they bring up...Just keep in the word with them and don't let your flesh take over when you hear what he's doing now...Alot of prayers sweeting alot of prayer...Turn to God for all the answers b/c we all were the same amount of flesh and can give you all kinds of advice and the only one that will be right is the Lords...As long as you bring up your children in the Lord and give them a strong foundation they will be ok...Luke 6: 47-48 (NLT) 47) I will show you what it's like when someone comes to me, listens to my teachings, and then follows it. 48) It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the flood waters rise and break against the house, it stands firmbecause it is well built. Trust in the Lord he is our Rock and thats the foundation we need to be building upon...I will keep you in my prayers...

Billie Gail - posted on 07/29/2009

I could have wrote that. I was a single mom to three children as well and their dad is not saved. I had to do tons of explaining to the kids about why unsaved people think the way they do and why they act the way they do. When the kids get a basic understanding as to what makes unsaved people different from saved they will be able to deal with it better. The kids just need to be taught how to take a step back and evaluate things from a Christian perspective. You can also (I did) tell them about all of the stories in the bible that relate and how to hand each situation. Your children will respect you so much more for teaching them the right way to look at life and unbelievers or the unsaved.
My kids are grown and love the Lord and their dad... is still the same.

Melissa - posted on 07/29/2009

my aunt is in the same situation. her children are 15 and 13. i don't know the ages of your children, but i know that my cousins are coping as well as they can. the rules at dad's house...well, there aren't really any. and you can tell when the kids have been with dad recently...like night and day! the best you can do is to continue praying for him, and know that your children know right from wrong. keep raising your children the best way you know how, and leave the rest to God!

Misty - posted on 07/25/2009

I understand were your coming from it is so hard to deal with the ex that is unsaved. Through your children your ex will see the love of christ. There is really nothing you can do Leave it in God's hands. I am so happy to hear your children have excepted Christ they belong to him and he wont let anyone get in the way of that. Hold strong in your faith it will all work out.

Jessica - posted on 07/23/2009

Sorry to hear about your difficult time. I can sorta relate because my husband doesn't even really believe in God! The best advice I can give you is to make sure that your children learn about Him, even if you have to teach them all by yourself. I read to my child from her bible every night, and I make sure she understands about the Lord. As for being saved, only God has the power to save your husband, and anyone else for that matter. Leave it in his hands and pray to Him, and I am sure that He will hear you.

Rebecca - posted on 07/22/2009

I have a daughter, now 18, her dad and I divorced when she was 2. We have very different beliefs, values, etc. To make matters harder, his mom had a good deal of money, so going to visit her dad was always huge fun. Not many rules, huge toys, things I could not buy. Then I remarried. They spoke badly of me, my new husband, my family, you name it. She was impossible when she came home from visits. I never spoke badly of them, I gave age appropriate reasons for why we had our rules, beliefs, etc, never putting down what they did. I was terriffied that she would decide she didn't want to live with me when she was old enough, and would end up having a hard time as a teen. When she was about 10 she no longer enjoyed her visits like she had. Now she tells me how bad she felt when they spoke ill of our family. Children will choose love every time. Make sure you tell them you will love them not matter what, and they can always come to you. My daughter said it made a difference. She, my husband, her brother, and I have a great relationship. Have faith, pray, and stay strong. I will keep you in my prayers.

Rabecca - posted on 07/21/2009

I would first off tell the kids that they as Christains have to honor thier father but in a way that still honors thier beliefs and I think it would be a good time to talk about free will that God offers us all that he stands at the doors or our hearts and knocks but gives us the opportuity to answer he gave us the opportunity to choice our paths and when we choice him he blesses us and rewards us in so many different ways . And those who do not may even seem like they have an easy life but are missing out on the blessings in this life nad the next and thats why we pray that those we love choice christ because we love them and want them to have the glory in both lives but the Lord is a gentleman he doesnt bang but just knocks hopeing that we will answer him.

It is hard to say what will help your kids the most because dad seems angry and really not trying to co parent but working against your beliefs and what your kids believe I think yes a blessing everytime they have a visit and a reminder that we are asked to be in the world but not of the world and I think this can be a very tough line to walk with kids and they may not understand that they are being influenced in ways that are not pleasing to God and that dad loves them but doent understand what he does as far as regecting God and that you all have to live by example and pray that he will someday find his savior too and that God loves us all both believers and non and only wants to take care of us but only when we except him first and until then praying that thier dad will come to him is what they can do there are things I ask for everyday and wisdom and knowlege of what to do in situations that are hard for me and I think he has given me that in alot of ways because I have a child that is strong willed( thats putting it so mildly) and has chemical imbalence issues but he gives me strenght in all things and has really helped me to find my way with him I think for your family praying not just for thier dad but also that they will have wisdom to know what is pleasing and not to God when thay are with thier dad and knowlege of how to handle those situations when they are confronted with them would be very important as well

Sheila - posted on 07/19/2009

Thank you gals! i appreciate your comments, encouraging words and prayers!! God Bless

Lianne - posted on 07/19/2009

Keep up the prayers and if the Lord leads you maybe you could fast. I know fasting has been greatly rewarded.
Pray the blood of Jesus over the kids before they go and ask the Lord to have their dad's negative comments "slide" right over them.
I am sorry you are dealing with this-I will pray for you situation.

Satu - posted on 07/19/2009

I'm sorry that the kids dad is not willing to work with you the way you'd hope. The only thing that comes to mind is that maybe you should just remind your kids that you have chosen God into your life, and you (and they) have a right to keep your beliefs and rules. keep on telling them that they can pray for their dad and love him eventhough he doesn't feel the same way about the Lord. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, and you can just agree to disagree. lots of strenght for you, i'll add you and your family to my prays.

Tam - posted on 07/18/2009

Sheila, at this moment, I don't have advice (other than seek God) but wanted to offer loving prayer and understanding. We went through this with my daughter. ((hugs))