When did your child first get their own room

Brennis - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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When did your child first get their own room and how far away from yours was it (ex: 10ft).

My little one is 15.5 months and it seems like she is controlling my world. I know she is supposed to be going through separation anxiety, but lately it seems that she just wants momma. She sleeps in our room, and wakes up around 12-1 am, and cries. She gets feed, and changed, teething meds and pain meds. However, if I am not in the bed she seems to wake up again and won’t go to sleep until I AM IN THE BED. Sometimes just papa will do, but this is the time I try to have for myself and it gets ruined when she wakes up crying, which means I stay up later trying to get that feeling of this is me time back.

I don’t know what else to do but to give her, her own room but that feels like I am kicking her out. So when did your children get their own rooms, and what problems did it solve for you or cause.

Thanks for listening, and the advice.

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Yolanda - posted on 05/06/2010

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My children got their own room from the start. I avoided the attachment of sleeping with mommy and daddy. I just got up in the middle of the night to feed them when they cried. I didn't have to worry about my kids interrupting when we wanted to have sex or just to get a good night's sleep.

Tracy - posted on 05/05/2010

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to be honest, my boys got their own rooms when we moved into this house 7yrs ago. they were 6 and 12. they shared a room up til then. my oldest is 19 now and has moved out. then the other son is 13 and still has the same room. they had to get used to it at first, they were used to being with each other. but it didnt take long getting used to having their own room. lol

[deleted account]

I have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. I made sure each child had his/her own bedroom before they were born. I had them in my room at night, and their room for naps. That seemed to make it an easier transition from my room to theirs. I started putting them in their room at night as well as naps when they were about 8 months old. My bedroom was a ways away from theirs, but I could still hear them if they cried. A friendly reminder to you, it IS ok for them to cry! It seems to me your daughter knows if she cries enough, mom will give in and go stay with her. Try playing a soothing sounds cd in her bedroom during sleep time, along with a night lite, and try letting her cry it out for a week or so. It will be hard for you to listen to i'm sure, but if you don't give in to her, it WILL work! My sister was having the same problem it sounds like you're having, and it took her child about a week n a half of this, now bedtime in her home is much much easier!! Hopefully it will work for you as well!

Courtney - posted on 05/03/2010

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My daughter is 10 months, she's been in her own room since she was about 6-7 months. The best advice I've gotten is from a mom a three, who said as soon as her kids slept through the night they slept in their own rooms. We didn't do this with our daughter, but most definitely plan on doing this with the next child. I think by letting her sleep in our room "too long" we made the situation worse when it came to transitioning. She was our first child, and I wasn't ready to put her in her own room. Once I did, it took a little adjusting (for me not my daughter) but the whole family was better off, including the baby who was getting more sleep. I've been reading a lot about the subject lately, and it sounds like you have created the 12-1 waking problem. Unless your daughter has soiled her diaper, you don't need to change it. By doing so your waking her up, and have created a break in her sleep. Also, you might try putting her to bed earlier at night, so you have more time early in the evening for "me time." What I do with my daughter, is put her to bed, when she wakes up in the middle of the night (in her room) I nurse her with the lights off, and rock her simultaneously, and she goes back to sleep in about 20 minutes.

Dawn - posted on 05/03/2010

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I always wonder about the state of someone's marriage when they want to keep their child in their bedroom. My daughter had a crib in her own room from the day that we came home from the hospital. Her bedroom is across the hall from ours, but even if it was downstairs, that is what baby monitors are for. It is bad for your marriage for kids to be in your room, and it is also bad for children, who need to be able to feel some kind of independence and security to be alone. When single parents do it and think it is OK--like I said--you are using your child for your own sense of security, and it is bad for the child. Once in a while my daughter would have a bad dream and come sleep in our room, but at the most that was once a week, and not going to bed in our room, only coming in if she woke up in the middle of the night. I know that moms with babies will think it is easier for them to just sleep with the baby in their bed so they don't have to keep getting up, but when my daughter was a baby, I had a Papsan chair in her bedroom so that I could feed her in the chair, and if we fell asleep in there, it wasn't disturbing my husband when he was sleeping seems where he needed to go to work in the morning, and I was home with the baby all day and could sleep when she was. She needs to be kicked out!

Lori - posted on 05/02/2010

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I never let my children sleep in my bed- so your battle will be bigger. I put them in at 6 months from the bassinet in my room to a crib in theirs. Never had a problem- when they were older and wanted to sleep in my room I explained that I HAVE to sleep to take care of them correctly- they would not want a crabby mom all day long from lack of sleep it would not be fair to them. They understood and now they are 23 and 19- amazing upstanding citizens that contribute, travel all over and have no fear of being away from us. My 19 yr old plays hockey in another state. You need to move her now- deal with the crying a few nights and then she will be fine. !5 months should have been sleeping through the night for a while now- she is manipulating you.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2010

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my daughter has had her own room since birth. it's about 20-25 feet from our room. she's never slept in our room and i don't think she will. during a thunderstorm or after a bad dream when she's old enough for it to bother/scare her, we'll let her snuggle in bed with us for awhile, but i feel very strongly that kids need their own beds apart from mommy and daddy.

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My first son, slept in our room during the day, and at night, I would wheel his bassinet into the lounge, which was next door to our room. When he was big enough to move into a cot, we all moved to the two rooms that were downstairs, opposite one another. With our second son, we were in a different house, so he slept in our room for the first few weeks, then I moved him into his own room. There is nearly 9 1/2 years between our sons, so never considered having them share a room. Our houses here in New Zealand are fairly small and certainly no room in ours for a cot so no choice.
At about 1 year - 18 months, not sure when, our youngest managed to break several bars on the cot, so I transferred him into a bed, and sat with him until he went to sleep. This has set up a pattern, which I've since found out was setting up a routine, that I've had to follow for many years. He was diagnosed last year with Aspergers Syndrome, so that explained those issues! He's now 14 1/2 years old, and I've managed to cut it down to prayer time, hugs, then lights out! He doesn't have to be asleep for me to leave him now.
Like others have said, don't give so much attention during the night. Your daughter should be sleeping through the night by now.

Jacqueline - posted on 04/28/2010

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My daughter is 11 and she had her own room hte day she came home from the hospital. UNTIL she was 18 months old then her brother arrived adn she had to share with him.....then when he was about hmmm 1 1/2 he went in to a room by himself! so they pretty much have had their own room since they were little .

Sheri - posted on 04/28/2010

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never... ;^) Our babies share our room until they are atleast 2, then end up sharing a room w/ another sibling. =)
We do have random 'midnight' visitors, but that usually vanishes by age 5, not the dreaded age 12 that people portray, lol. and honestly, a lot of our quality family time w/ good wholesome keepin'-it-real conversations, read alouds, & prayers, w/ our 6 kids, is when we are all hanging out on our family bed (aka...mom & dad's bed).

~Sheri
homeschoolin' mama to many

Cindy - posted on 04/28/2010

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My kids, all grown now, slept in their own rooms from day 1. When they woke for feedings, I got up fed them, changed diapers and put them back to bed. I found the benefit to this was too many to list, but one big one is that I didn't hear every noise they made and so I was able to sleep. Babies make noises. Also I found that they slept better as I wasn't getting them up and many times if they woke up they would kick and play and go back to sleep. AND it give you time to be alone and gives you that "me "time that everyone needs in order to be a good parent.

My advise is that you put her in her own room ASAP and yes you will probably have a few nights where it is hard to get her to sleep but she will adjust and at some point to HAVE to do that unless you want her sleeping with you when hse is 10-12 yrs old or older. Change is difficult but it will be okay if you decide that this is what you are going to do. Remember that you are mom. Also YOU ARE NOT kicking her out, You are giving her the space she needs and the space you need to have a healthy, happy, loving home. This is important for all of you including papa.



Good Luck!!!!! All too soon they are grown up and then you have other issues, but that is ok. Just love her forever no matter what....and you will be fine.



May God Bless you and your family.

Dana - posted on 04/27/2010

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My kids have all had their own rooms from the beginning. They have all slept in my room in a bassinet for the first 3 or 4 months, but then I move them into their own room with a monitor. It has worked great and very seldom do they come into my room at night, and it is usually only if they had a really bad dream. My youngest (4mos) is still in my room at the moment. My excuse is he is a premie so he may get to stay a bit longer just for my benefit. But he has his own room all set up next to mine with a baby monitor when I am ready to let go.

Jane - posted on 04/27/2010

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My kids both had their own rooms from the very beginning. Same floor as our bedroom. And, they slept in their cribs as soon as we came home from the hospital. We used a baby monitor and it worked out great for me and my kids.

[deleted account]

I put my first 2 into their own rooms around 6-9 mos.; however, #3 & #4 stayed in my room several months longer (#4 is almost 13m & still in my room). Part of that stems from #1 & #2 being in school and not wanting to have their sleep disturbed by the baby (DD1 was in Kindergarten when DD2 arrived; DS1 is in 3rd grade & DS2 is 13 mos). I'm waiting until school is out to move DS2 into the other room, so that they have the summer to get used to each other.

At 15m a baby should not be waking up or getting that much attention at night unless she is sick or something. Try to have as little interaction with her as possible at night. Unless she's had a BM or has sensitive skin, she can skip the diaper change at night. Give her a sippy cup of plain water rather than a bottle or cup of juice or milk (or nursing). If she seems to be teething or something, give her the meds before bedtime (ibuprofen works for longer that acetaminophen).

My only problem with moving DD2 into DD1's room was that when she got into a toddler bed, she kept getting out and crawling into bed with DD1. LOL. All three of our bedrooms are at the end of the hall in a cluster, so none of them are very far away.

Jill - posted on 04/27/2010

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i haven't had me time in almost 8 yrs.... i get alittle mad sometimes but then i remember how fast they are growing up and it puts it all into perspective.... all 3 of my kids have slept in my room...my first had her own room behind my room she always came into my room 1/2 way through the night.... she got a room down the hall at 3 yrs old... in a queen size bed ... she loved it but always came back to my room... my 2nd had health issues so his crib was always next to my bed... and 1/2 way thorugh the night he would come into my bed... he got his own room at 3 i think and he slept in it 1/2 the night also then came into my room.. my last one is 20 months.. until he was 9 months he slept in his own room all night in his crib.. but at nine months he started with night terrors and separation anxiety and he comes in 1/2 way through the night also...do i like it? yes and no... i like cuddling with the kids...i know they are safe...and will leave my room eventually... life is short ..they'll be plenty of time for me time in the future but then they will have there own lives and you will wish you had more time with them....

Candace - posted on 04/26/2010

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All my children had their own room from the beginning...not to say they didn't sleep in mine from time to time. You have to understand that she has become use to you always being there. Put her in her own room with a picture of you above or around her bed...also you can take one of her toys and put your perfume on it or even a piece of your clothing. Also I found that the heart beat teddy bear help mine. Music or even a recording of your voice will help....hope I have helped let me know if this helps you any and I will continue to think of some other things that I did....

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