I Have A 6 Yr Old Step Son I Could Care Less For. I Know It Breaks My Husbands Heart That I Don't...

I have a 6 yr old step son I could care less for. I know it breaks my husbands heart that I don't live not want his son in my house. I've prayed n prepared for his arrival every other weekend but the minute I see him or hear his voice I quickly get annoyed and I just want the weeken to end! Is there another Christian woman who feels this wat? I need help!! Pls