ANYONE OUT THERE THAT THOUGHT THEY WERE THROUGH RAISING KIDS AND END UP RAISING THEIR GRANDCHILD?

Terry - posted on 01/15/2013

I got custody of my granddaughter about 4 months ago. My husband and I always said we would never raise a grandchild. Never say Never. My son's wife was an unfit mother and every time my son went out to sea (he is in the Navy) Child Protective Services would be called on his wife, which also affects his career. I decided I would rather take her than have to put in the Foster Care system. My son is away so much he cannot take care of her. He has split with his wife and I got a lawyer and my husband and I know have joint custody with my granddaughter's parents. Her mother only has visitation one Saturday a month from 9:00am to 6:00pm and my son's visitation is unlimited however he will only be able to see her a few times a year due to his sea rotation. My husband was not happy at first and I got little support from him but now he is very involved with her. She is a beautiful child but can be VERY stubborn. It is trying at times but has been a true blessing for us. I hope you will feel blessed as well in time.

Mama - posted on 11/13/2012

You know I just do what I have to do!!!! The smile on his face gives me the reasons to go on... He was sent here for a reason.. But wish God could of let me be aliitle younger.. Haha!!!

Mama - posted on 11/13/2012

Thank you

Debbie - posted on 11/12/2012

You sound like a remarkable woman!!!! Where do you get your energy?!!

I am so freaking disorganized with all the stuff going on around here!!!

I would be lost without my kids and grandkids,and God knows how much I love them!

I have been called the Queen of Co-dependants though and so I guess I need to learn about

boundaries and things.

I am the oldest of 7 kids too, so I learned to help out with child rearing at an early age. My parents were great parents even though we struggled financially as Mom was a stay -at-home Mom. She had alot of patience to raise 7 kids and I guess I inherited that to an extreme sometimes.

I am by no means raising my grand babies,but my husband and I help out quite alot financially, and emotionally. We love those grand babies soo much; I don't want to complain about them !

They are innocent and too sweet. I really get a knot in my belly when I hear their parents say some of the things they say about them,but I have a hunch that when I had 4 kids running around my home, all under the age of 10, and their dad was away on engineering projects, I said or at least thought some "not so nice things too."

I just thought that my 50's would be a wee bit different than being on call 24-7 to help with all the babysitting, dog sitting, banking help, etc...

God Has His PLans for me and thus I must Thank Him and learn to Listen to Him, Trust Him, and Obey Him. Have a blessed day!!!

Mama - posted on 11/12/2012

Thank you for giving me a idea of some of your life!!! It's great how we can get needed things out like thing to a stranger and much needed and easier..wow!!!! I have many GRANDKIDS and step but we never say or feel that!!! Me and my hubby have been married before and our spouses passed... I took on his youngest boys 10 and 12 years old at the time.. Was the right thing to do..the 10 year old had a lot of problems already .. To make a long story shorter I raise his son.. Went to the hosp to vist grandson and ended up leaving with him at 3 days old and his bio mother!!! She is not in the pic and hardly our son.. It was a tough time , happened so fast.. I just finished chemo for breast cancer..little Shawn is now gonna be 4 in jan.. He thinks I am mom and grandpa is papa so far!! I just stay on auto pilot I guess!! Lol.. I have no help hardly at all . Hubby works a lot because also I needed to cut my hours down.. Little Shawn' s Bo mom has bi polar and some mental illness.. A whole other can of worms ...concerning our boy !!in almost 4 years I can not remember getting me time even in the bathroom.. Haha. But he is a true blessing !!! But listen what you are doing is a thankless job.. And I bet you will never learn to use say No!!! And yes to a degree you are being taken advantage of !! We do not like to admit this to are selfs but we know it deep inside.. Am I right

Debbie - posted on 11/11/2012

My story is way different from many others and many would not understand where I come from in telling it.!! I am no martyr,but have lived in many different places with no one to talk to when my kids were younger.. I have a Great Mom but in the 80's and early 90's when my hubby and I and

little kid lets were moving all about U.S.and Latin America, she (MOM) was in Montana and my support system wasn't there except when I could afford more then a 10 cents/min. phone call between 6 -9 .!!!

I had no choice but to be accepting of the fact.... I made my bed... I had to lie in it.. My children were MY RESPONSIBILITY TO LOVE AND RAISE TO THE BEST OF MT ABILITY>!!

That brings me to now, when I don't want to intrude on my kids' lives ,marriages etc,but by the same token don't want to be taken advantage of...

My daughter and my daughter-in-law seem to be very needy.!!; I understand full well how tough times are!!! When we (my hubby and I ;and kiddos) finally settled in a home , I went to work to HELP my husband and family out... We had 4 kids and I had 2 part-time jobs at local hospitals and thus would get off work at one hospital and drive to the other...Daycare was 1/2 my paycheck!!! When I called my husband's step-mom, who was retired and living 30 minutes away she told she didn't tend kids very often so don't ask for too much help. I had plenty of happy times raising my 4 and plenty of tough times... It continues into adulthood!!!

Now I am watching these grandbabies because the other Grammas don't have time or won't .

I have their Mom's calling me because the baby won't sleep; won't eat; cries all the time;;; the husband is an ass.... etc... I want to help,but ,I have to admit .. I am tired and getting a bit worn out..I tried to teach my kids to be self-sufficient; to educate them ;but I have to admit these gals are really spoiled... It must be my fault to a point,but I think they domn't know how good they really have it !!!

Mama - posted on 11/11/2012

Would like to add you as friend

Cathy - posted on 06/10/2009

The court gave me custody of my granddaughter when she was released from the hospital at 3 weeks old, a premie. Her mom tested positive for marijuana the day the baby was born, 7 weeks early. The father, my son, is in and out of jail on drug charges. She will be 2 in July and has been with me for half her life. Her mom was in a drug rehab, and could have the baby with her. She also has mental health issues, so the baby is with me now. She's a beautiful little girl, very vocal and constantly learning and repeating words, (sometimes they even make sense) . She loves to laugh and make her Grampy and I laugh. She does well in daycare and it is just an absolute joy to have her with us.

Coral - posted on 05/30/2009

Conicidences!!!! The other grandparents are said to be devastated our daughter brought the children to live with us in France after her marriage broke down. But their son wouldn't let her and the children stay in the marital home; no one could get HIM out. His mother supported him! But they miss the children and in two years they have contacted 5 times and seen them for 2 hours one morning when we went to England last year.

Cheryl - posted on 05/30/2009

my grandson James, also has a half sister called Angel aged about 8 or 9 Angel lives with her grand mother ...the mother of my son Ben"s partner, Fiona

Coral - posted on 05/30/2009

My grandson is called James too, he is 5 and a half his sister is Abigail aged 8

Cheryl - posted on 05/30/2009

I have dressed a teddy bear in the outfit james wore on christmas day....he is nearly 6mths old and the teddy comes up to his knees....babies grow so fast and we tend to forget how small they were....it's nice to have a few reminders about the place to show them as they grow.......i have a collection of teddy bears and intend to dress them up in james' "hand-me-downs"

Coral - posted on 05/30/2009

I do many things with my grandchildren especially craft things as I am disabled.

One thing we do (I have added pictures of them) is do foot/hand impressions. Started with hand printing with paint and added this:

There used to be so many of my fingerprints to see on furniture and walls and things from sticky grubby me. But if you stop and think a while you will see I'm growing fast, those little handprints disappear you can't bring back what's past. So here's a reminder to keep, not wipe away, of tiny hands and how they looked, to make you smile some day.

I have drawn round their hands/feet and they decorate them, they are lamenated and make great gifts for family members. The children look back and ask, 'was I really that little?' Yes you were!

Cheryl - posted on 05/30/2009

just a quick note.....i also belong to "grandmothers raising grandchildren" community....you may like to have a look

Debra - posted on 05/02/2009

I am rasing my 13 yr. old granddaughter since last year. Its alot of work. I raised 2 boys who are grown with their own familys. All i can say is boys are alot easier!

Melanie - posted on 04/21/2009

Thank you I'm glad to know someone has some sense in this world. Alot of people just say let them kids deal with it the child but how can u do that when they are both in jail I can't let my own blood go to some strangers house or be put in the system the rest of his life. Most people that say that though have never had children or are just cold hearted.

Chris - posted on 04/20/2009

I haven't done that but I had two sets of kids almost 10 years apart. I will be praying for you. I know alot of people that do that and I feel like it takes a very special person to start over and take care of someone else's child, even if it is your grandchild.

Debbie - posted on 04/19/2009

shes lived wiv us since 15 mnths old.. shes nearly 3 now.. she got menninjitis xmas 2008.n as now got c.p. so its even harder but shes worth it tho..any 1 else in a simular situation .........love 2 hear from u...debbie

Debbie - posted on 04/19/2009

ye.. tell me about it.. its lovely tho.. i love her 2 bits..x

Melanie - posted on 04/19/2009

i agree I wouldn't have it any other way either.

Michelle - posted on 04/17/2009

I have been raising my grandson since he was born. His mother lives with me, but she works upwards of 60 hours a week. I am his one constant. I am also his sole day care provider. He is the light of my life and at almost 3 a definite easy way to weight loss with chasing after him!! He wears me out, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Melanie - posted on 04/14/2009

I agree they bring joy and laughter into your life these babies do. I have the same problem with my son he is locked because of drug use hopefully he is on the road to recovery and my grandson's mother is locked up for shoplifting. Where are their minds at I wonder.

Cheryl - posted on 04/12/2009

james' mother and father are both using drugs, both have mental health problems, both have a tendency to be violent...........so james came into my life when he was 2 weeks old...we love each other very much...he is now 4 months old and very settled...so am i....james is a wonderful blessing.......being full time carer for my grandson has moved my life into a very nice place.....a place full of hugs, smiles and lots of giggles

Coral - posted on 04/07/2009

When my daughter's marriage broke up she came to France with her children to live with us. She has to take work where she can and at present works on the tourist canal boats leaving us to look after the children now 7 and 5. They have been here two years and thriving well. I have learnt a lot from them and we do crafts together. Our grandaughter goes horse riding, which her mother did and myn husband cheers on our grandson at soccer!

We make cards together and jewelry.

We visit places of interest, introduce them to architecture, nature, wildlife etc and generally enjoy having them even though it can be tiring!

Becky - posted on 04/05/2009

My daughter vame back home with a 6 weeks old beautiful baby girl.They have lived with me since.I enjoy them so very much.I hope my granddaughter will remember all the things we do together.Some days are very tiring,but I wouldn't change it.So glad i can help

Melanie - posted on 04/02/2009

I'm very happy to be raising my grandson. Sorry If I give a different impression. I guess I may have been aggravated that the parents can't or are not willing to stop their stupid ways and take care of him themselves. That's really the only thing that bothers me. They are missing out on alot of things you can't get back no matter how hard you try. They have been given multiple chances to correct their mistakes. No Go! My husband and I love having the baby there with us and i guess we are lucky to still be young enough to get down in the floor and play and everything that goes with taking care of a baby. Thanks for listening. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Caroline - posted on 04/01/2009

I haven't, but we are prepared to take my grandsons at a moment's notice. It is a huge adjustment just mentally preparing for the possibility! However, I know others who have done it, and how it goes seems to have a lot to do with your point of view. If you see it as a blessing, then it will be one. If you see it as a burden, then it will be one. I know some people would give their eyeteeth to have another baby in the house, but others are done, done, done. From your use of capitals (which usually indicate yelling - or desperation), I get the impression that you weren't happy about this.

Care to share? I can at least give you someone to commiserate with!

Blessings!