Grandma is Tired!!!!!

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

Is being a grandmother mean that you are supposed to be a babysitter no matter what!!!!! I thought that when i became a Grandmother that would be the best years of my life..Iwould get to spoil my grandchildren and give them back!!! Well in my case if i dont babysit when ever im asked then my daughter gets mad and doesnt want to let me see the grandchildren or she just plain wont talk to me..Is this normal or does all grandmothers have this problem????

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Lorrie - posted on 04/05/2010

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Yes it is. They are spoiled and want control. They don't want to grow up and take care of there responsibilities. I think we just do to much for our kids. We had to do it all by our self's. We worked, took care of our children and we did not take advantage of our parents.
Then it is all our fault, they do not think about there kids our grand kids and what they are doing to them.

[deleted account]

No, that's not normal. You need to stand your ground....don't give in. So she doesn't talk to you for a while....that won't last very long. She knows how to manipulate you well, call her bluff and surprise her. Remember, our kids don't push our buttons--they invented them!

Susan - posted on 04/01/2010

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Do the grandchildren not have another grandmother? You don't list the circumstances here. It should be up to you when, and if, you want to keep your grandchildren. You have already raised your children and deserve respect for that. It is not up to you to raise your grandchildren. Sounds like your daughter has issues she hasn't dealt with and they may or may not concern you. She just know she can sound off on you and you still love her no matter what. Is your daughter and her spouse having marital issues?

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Rose - posted 2 days ago

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I have the same issues, this last weekend I was not feeling good due to having surgery and I have a infection in my colon that I have had part of removed and my son call asking me what I was doing this weekend , ok now what do you think I am doing, anyway he asked if I could take care of his 1/12 year old son and I told I just not feel like it. My son then he sister that is older then him if she would take care of him knowing that she had a birthday party to do for her 8 year old son and she ended up doing it, so my son little boy could come to the party and by the this is the 2nd weekend in a roll she had his kids , so fast forward to the party and guess who was having to run after the 11/2 not his Mom and Dad but Grandma and everyone else at the party because the parents was out having fun. Then my daughter come over to the house and now she has both of his kids because the other was dropped off by the other Grandma at the birthday party and now I have 4 kids at my house and a sleepy 11/2 year old and a 9 month old and a 8 year old and a 6 year old that wants to play, but the extra room is being used so I told them to go in my room and play in the floor (they was not playing on the floor when Grandpa want in they was jumping on the bed and had destroyed my room) and I found all of this out as the two missing parents come to pick up their kids. I had had it at this point and told them I had something I needed to get off my chest and told them they need to stop making everyone else responsible for their kid and my daughter-in law tried to hit me and went off and I told she never does anything for anyone. If you ask her she too busy and she is a stay at home mom

Vicki - posted on 04/05/2010

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Hi, I agree with what others have mentioned and you need to not be so available to her. She needs to respect that you have your own life and things to do, be strong and say no if it is not convienent. I know how it feels to be needed - it feels good! Then it becomes annoying as you will feel used and taken advantage of, she sounds immature as she doesn't like it if you can't do as she asks, she will get over it! Have a chat and just let her know you love her and the grandchildren and will help out when you can but you need to be asked if you are available first and she needs to respect you and if you cannot babysit - you can't!. Good luck and don't feel guilty for saying no, you have raised your children and now you can put yourself and husband/partner first - without guilt!!

Kathy - posted on 04/04/2010

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Your daughter is manipulating you! DOn't let her get away with it! Say no! It may take time, but things will even out. If you don't enforce some groundrules, you will be a door mat! Let her know when you are available, "Honey, I can take the kids Mondays from 6-9 and every other Saturday." or some such and stick to it! She will come around!

Mary - posted on 03/17/2010

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yes you do need to sit down and talk a bout this i do think that your daughter has a problem as you do need some time for just you she wont stay mad at you for very long all the best xxxx

Debbie - posted on 01/22/2010

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My grandchildren lived with me for a few years then my daughter finally was able to get on her own and now they visit at times. I made it perfectly understandable that I don't mind watching them as long as she does not expect it but asks first. There are times she will call at a moment notice but I look at my schedule and make a decision on whether I can or cannot watch them. Talk to your daughter about the fact you don't mind watching the grandchildren but she needs to call in advance to see if your available or not and not expect you to be there everytime.

Michele - posted on 12/09/2009

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My daughter thought she was allowed to make plans an then ask me, but I put a stop to t that right away. I told her if it is important an I am needed I will be there. But I am grandma an you are mom. I have her oldest with me all the time because I was learning myself on how to say no to late with her an now she wont go home. Good n Bad with this but she is my heart an I love being grandma, I'm young 40 an many think she is mine but I guess God has plans an me helping is one of them. So pace yourself an don't allow her to think your there at a drop of dime, your a blessing to your daughter an grandchildren. Good luck...

Paula - posted on 12/07/2009

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No it is not normal. Your daughter needs to respect your right to say no sometimes, I bet if you set her down and tell her how you are feeling things would get better. She can not stay mad forever,

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