Kids taking grand children away to be mean.

Christine - posted on 08/08/2009 ( 108 moms have responded )

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My daughter has taken my grandaughter away after living with me 3 times.It not only heuts me but my grandchild too.Anyone else deal with this?

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Wendi - posted on 07/05/2013

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My daughter had a baby at 17 year old. Just the fact that she got pregnant was very difficult on my husband and I, but we were there for her as much as we could be. I am a nurse and was there for the delivery (10 days after I had major surgery). I was there when the babies father smashed her phone and her ipad. I was there when she had to call the police on him because he was stalking her. I was there walking the floors with a crying baby, and loving on him with all my heart and soul. One day, out of no where I come home from work and find the baby gate missing. A step further and the crib is gone. She left, with my precious grandson to go live with the father and his family. That was 4 months ago. I miss him so much. They live so close, sometimes I just drive by trying to get a quick look at him to see how much he has grown. I saw him walking the other day. I could just break in two....I miss him so much it hurts!!! How did I raise a child to be so mean and hateful to me? I just don't get it.

Joanne - posted on 10/25/2012

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The first time my daughter kept my grandchildren (2girls) away from me and the family it lasted 8 months. I took my daughter to court to exercise my right as a grandparent that raised my oldest granddaughter for the first 3 years of her life. Because my daughter was unsure of whom the childs father was and did not find out until the child was 2, I was able to petition the courts for some custody rights as the childs father did not exercise his rights of visitation even though he pays court ordered child support. The judge ordered my daughter and my self to go to mediation which we did and I thought we worked things out pretty fairly, so because she is my daughter and I do love her and wanted to trust her when she said she would "never" keep my granddaughter from me ever again, I chose to believe her and settled out of court. Now it's been 10 months since I've seen my grandchildren and 6 months since anyone in the family my mother included have heard anything from any of them. They moved out of state in January with my daughters abusive, useless husband whom I refer to as Satan, I do send cards and packages to the address I was given which happens to be "his" mothers address and I do put money in my granddaughters savings accounts which I opened for them. I will always be here for my girls and my skin will always crawl whenever I have to see or hear the demon my daughter married. I worry every day about their safety, I'm just not sure where to go from here.

Dalia - posted on 12/16/2014

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I haven't seen my grandsons 3,6,12 since September. No calls nothing, it hurts and I know I do have to wait it out. it's not the first time my daughter uses the boys to hurt me. I pray that she will learn to be responsible and know that family is important. but she will always blame others for her wrong doing. I know my oldest grandson knows what happened between his mom and I and I know that she is putting bad things in him. but deep down inside I know that he knows that I will always be there for him and his brothers. Missing them terribly...... Grandma.

Kim Aka Mamaw - posted on 09/17/2012

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I have basically raised my grandson this first year. But I've been basically blackmailed by my daughter. If I don't do what she wants when she wants she threatens me with never seeing him again. He's already involved with cps when after a 2 month stay with me he returned home. The 2nd day he ended up with a head injury. She knows if he gets hurt again she can make me feel guilty...and yes I would if I didn't go get him. But I'm in ill health now. She's killing me. My stress is hurting me. I have lupus, I've had a stroke, etc. Yet she still wants me to run whenever she calls. Advise....I just don't want this baby hurt and CPs here stinks.

Mary - posted on 09/21/2015

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Since this happened to us, I have heard of numerous families suffering from this horrible situation. It was unheard of in my generation to be so incredibly disrespectful to your parents. My son who allowed his wife to act out in this way, told me to "Be quiet and just listen, for a change." It's funny that he would say that to me when he rarely listens to anything and has caused himself so much heartache over not listening. I am 55 and wouldn't dare talk to one of my parents like that even today.
BTW . . . I shut my mouth, like usual and listened to what he had to say, shoe on the other foot? He would not listen to anything I had to say and chose instead to believe lies about me.
The Bible says in these last days "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy"
This generation today is the most abusive, disrespectful generation of all. I am truly sorry for it.

108 Comments

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Tammie - posted on 06/15/2016

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Mary, my heart breaks for you and I agree with you 100% that many of this younger generation has no respect for their parents whatsoever. I cannot even begin to share the heartache my husband and I are going through because of our daughter. All my prayers and love to you. Hold your head high. And thank you so much for sharing.

Sarah - posted on 06/10/2016

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Vicki, that is terribly sad for the kids. My mother had always been quite clear; I raised you and now your raise yours. Of course she watched them all once and a while but never was the sitter. My mom is gone now and my kids miss her dearly. The love of a Grandmother is so very special. My mom had the luxury to dote and indulge them as she desired and I think that is a grandparents prerogative. She always respected our rules but she was not in charge of discipline. She brought something special to my kids lives and sure as heck hope your daughter wakes up and realizes whom she is hurting by keeping you apart.

Vicki - posted on 06/10/2016

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yes my daughter has done this several times , and she just did it again because she went back to work and i told her i am Grandma not free daycare and she told me if i dont watch them i wont see them again :(

Roxie - posted on 06/06/2016

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I am going through a very similar situation, my Son and his GF lived with me before the child come. During the last 5 yrs he was very ill and they had no other support so I have been supporting all of them from the day the child was born up until a near year ago, she has remained in my care during the day though, 6 days a week up until 2 weeks ago. He was involved with going over to my older Son's house who we have not been in touch with in many yrs, he is living with a demon girl that thinks she runs everyone's life. My grand daughter come to me upset that this GF from hell cut her hair and told her if she told anyone she would be in trouble, and boy is that ever true. I noticed a good 6 inches gone and let my son know, now he is accusing me of saying he is a bad parent, and has completely cut off all communication. Never dreamed he could be so negatively influenced after all we been through in this last 5 yrs. I am totally lost as to what to do. These kids are not cattle, she has been cut off of the only full security she ever had, they work 6 days a week up to 14 hours a day and now her world is turned upside down with no contact at all. I do know what you are going through and it is nonsense.All I have now is prayers for both of us.

Lesley - posted on 05/19/2016

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yes me too I haven't been able to see them in 3 years now. my daughter has them so scared to see me they panic if i see them shopping or anywhere my grandaughter starts to cry that her mother will find out and punish her which she does.I am so broken hearted just don't know what to do. I will never give up hope that when they get older they will see what their mother has done

Dashocash - posted on 05/13/2016

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I feel for you , My daughter has done the same to me ! And it is killing me and she has no feelings for any one . I am gonna see about grandparents rights here in texas , Anything is better than nothing!

Jesse9722 - posted on 05/03/2016

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We did consult a lawyer went to court 3 times our daughter never showed or the baby's father we got our visitation thank God every Wednesday everyother Saturday and one Friday overnight a month and one week vacation a year good luck with your case please keep me posted our prayers and thoughts will be with you

Denise - posted on 12/11/2015

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Talk to an attorney most have free consultation appts see about grandparents rights in your state my husband and I are going to try and get ours it's only visitation but it's better than nothing and that's what we have now no contact

Strengthcityinc - posted on 11/26/2015

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My daughter has given my grandchild to some friends of ours now while she has been introduced to crack now I'm on there turns I get to talk too them 15min. If I'm lucky maybe twice a week there has to be something I can do about this I haven't been to long got out of the hospital but I'm stronger now so what is a grandmother to do I want my grandchildren !!!!!!!

Linda - posted on 10/23/2015

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I also have a daughter named Sara and she won't let me see my grandchildren either. I don't know why she is mad at me…..it is always a mystery that I can't figure out, but when she is mad at me she won't let me see or talk to my grandchildren and she tells them that I don't care or has forgotten about them. To the contrary, I miss them and cry for them everyday. I am distraught because it has been 4+ months now and I don't have any contact and she stopped sending me pictures as well. I thought I was alone but see that others have similar situations. It is so sad that these kids hold the grandchildren from seeing their loving grandparents.

Mary - posted on 09/22/2015

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I cried when I read your post below. I have tried to talk to her about it. She cried and said "things will never be the same will they?" I asked her how they could be, she was refusing to allow my grand daughter to even be at my house. She started telling my son that I was mean to her. I asked how and he said that I slammed the door when I left, I wouldn't talk to Sara when I was in her presence. It's not true. Their front door sticks, if you don't pull it really hard it comes open, so the dog and the baby could get out easily. I just made sure I pulled it shut like usual, but everything I did made her angry. My son told me she was jealous of me. I always tried to make her feel welcomed and not put demands on her as her mother in law.
At this point she won't even talk to me, or allow my son to talk to me. They had a new baby in March and wanted me to come see him in the hospital, but then told me I couldn't see him either.
The rest of our family is just as confused and upset about this as I am. Thank you for your kind words. I pray for my grand children every day that they are not being abused.

Sarah - posted on 09/22/2015

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Have you confronted Sara? Asking her where her feelings stem from. Maybe there is a hurt that you are unaware of or maybe she is jealous of the relationship you have with your granddaughter? My mother and my first daughter, her first granddaughter were uniquely bonded. Was i a bit jealous? Maybe, mostly I was thankful that they were two peas in a pod.Oh how they loved each other! My mother had a total of 9 grand kids, five boys and four girls, and she loved each one to the moon and back. My daughter, discreetly held a special place in her heart. I'd never deny that love, that enormous unconditional love. That was my mother's right as a grandma, to lavish love and affection and not worry about diet, discipline or manners (as that was my job). My mom is gone now, and 3 1/2 years later, my daughter still aches for her, similar to the way I do. I hope you can work this out, soon.

Mary - posted on 09/21/2015

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The email said it was from "Sara". Which is my daughter in laws name who has taken my grand daughter away from me and refusing to even allow my son to have a relationship with me.

Sarah - posted on 09/21/2015

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Mary, without going back through the whole thread; was the note you received from a moderator? If you are actually not following the "No THUMPS" rule you may get a message from a Circle of Moms moderator. If is was just some random person, ignore it.

Edited to add: Your post is heartbreaking and I hope that your granddaughter is not being abused. Hopefully some time will clear things up and tempers will settle.

Mary - posted on 09/21/2015

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I just received a note that an anonymous poster said my post was "mean". I don't understand how and that's unfair to post things like that without giving an explanation. I'm pretty sure if the person who posted it was in the same shoes they wouldn't feel that way.
It's just cruelty to use an anonymous voice to judge.

Stephanie - posted on 04/16/2015

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WOW! It never ceases to amaze me how some mothers treat their own mothers. My mom passed away when I was 15 and that was the hardest thing for me to deal with. When I read this story it really saddens me because I have two children but my mom has 5 grandchildren she never met. All she can do is look down on them and admire them from heaven. I wish there was some kind of potion for sale that can snap mothers back into reality. When all else fails family will always be your family. I hope one day your daughter realizes what is important in life and that is family. I can tell you are a concerned grandmother and a loving person. Pray for your own sanity and the rest will fall into place, better said than done but try it and you will see. Sometimes we have to let go and find comfort in our own zones. I pray that your relationship with your daughter and grandchild is strengthened.

Tonya - posted on 04/16/2015

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Just reading this has given me both sorrow and hope. I was at the birth of my grandson, as his mom had no idea who the dad was. Oh but no worries we had on the of the "backups" in the waiting room of his birth (which is now out of the picture). He is 16 months old we are on dad number 3. He has lived mostly with me, but stayed with mom and boyfriend(s) on occasion. Most of them having rap sheets longer than my resume. She is VERY codependent and allows them to run the relationship at all cost. This concerns me since today she has announced we are staying with the new boyfriend of a few weeks now. On paper she looks good. She has a good job, no record, etc. This guy has been in and out for drugs, theft, domestic abuse, etc. for years and she feels I need to be happy that she found the "love of her life". What do I do? I can't in my right mind approve, but if not she will just take him and leave like the last two times. It just hurts and one two levels for my daughter and more for my grandson. Not to mention what it is doing to my marriage, and other children that I still have at home.

Marianne - posted on 11/14/2014

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Wow! I was honestly beginning to think there was something wrong with me. I cry, weep, tears leak uncontrollable when I think of no longer having these boys in my life. I'm the father's partner of 12 years. We've never married, but we are soul mates. His one daughter lived with us when her twin sons were 15 months. They stated for a year and a half. I was in heaven and fell smack dab I love with those lads. Man did we have fun. Then, after a year or so after she had moved out and got her own place (we got them off and on on weekends) she ceased all contact with me after blasting me for never supporting her, caring for her, etc. None of that was true of course, it's some sort of step-mother issue, but man do I hurt. Pain seethes through my entire body when I cry. It's worse than morning a death, because I know they're still alive. He father has tried to talk to her and I have apologized a million times for any misunderstandings. She simply will not recant.

Eycousart11 - posted on 08/10/2014

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When I found out my daughter was pregnant. I was disappointed because she is 19 year old I I stepped up and became super grandma even before my grandchild was born. I alone supported her financially with all the things that she need though her whole pregnancy. Well her whole life. I even reached out to the father of my granddaughter and try to understand what role he was trying to play in her life since he was nowhere to be found her Whole pregnancy. But for some reason my daughter did not seem to find a problem with it. Really, well I sure did. What real mother wouldn't? A month ago my daughter just up and left without any notice. She moved in with him and will not allow me or my side of the family to be in my grandchild life. My daughter didn't grow up in a dysfunctional house she has always had more then enough love and support. Because I will not approve of her running the streets and dragging my grand child from house to house. She's trying to spite me. But the truth is she's hurting herself. Young parent these days I just don't understand. I would never have done my mom this way. No one will ever love you like your mother. She wanted to be out on her own so bad. I hope she's really ready for the real world. Somethings u just cannot forget,this is one of them. I pray God change my heart. Any advice is welcome .

JEANETTE - posted on 07/21/2014

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you don't it just hurts my so remarried has 3 boys 13 ,11 and 8 . new wife just had a baby we are not aloud to see her the new wife calls the shots !! the x is a nut !! you just hurt some days more than others !!

Patty - posted on 06/24/2014

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I've dealt with this before with my daughter and it was devastating. I cried and I normally don't cry very often. Your daughter is doing it because she wants to have the 'power' over you.

My advise is to wait it out until she is ready to let you see your grand daughter again. She will come around I promise. Just have patience.

When she does, make sure she understands that it not only hurts you but your grand daughter and that grandparents are important people in grand children's lives.

I did just that and ever since, my daughter hasn't caused any issues.

Mary - posted on 05/19/2014

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I raised my 3 children practically on my own. They didn't have the love and nurturing of grandparents that wanted to be involved. Now my middle child has a 3 year old that I have been extremely close to since her birth. I was in the delivery room when she was born. I felt hysterical with love for her. She is my first grand child, those of you who are grandparents know it's like your first love. There's nothing like it. My daughter in law allowed me to dress her for the very first time. They sought my advice on everything for her. When she was a tiny baby she cried a lot and I was always able to calm her down. From the time she could express joy to see someone she has been overjoyed to see me. When she was just 6 months old, she took my face in her little hands and rubbed her face all over mine! It was the sweetest thing in the world! My daughter in law told me as a child she was molested over and over again. It broke my heart! I promised her I would NEVER leave her baby alone with anyone to ensure that no one would ever hurt her child on my watch the way someone allowed her to be hurt and I never have, not even my own husband. Now they are accusing him of it. They took her away from me based on a lie. While my daughter in law was drunk she asked the baby if someone hurt her little "vagina", my grand daughter doesn't know that term. I asked her one day, what her leg was, her nose, her eyes, etc . . .I patted her bottom and said asked what that is, she replied her butt, I said "Where is your vagina?" She told me it's upstairs in her room. My daughter in law asked her who hurt her "vagina" babies answer; Papa did. She has 3 papa's, she doesn't know any of their names. She loves my husband more than any of the other papa's and is always so excited to see him. The other 2 are my daughter in laws dad and my son's father who I am not married to anymore because of lying cheating and abuse. She doesn't like either of them and refuses to let them hold her or have anything to do with. One day she (the baby) told me Papa gave her dog a boo boo. We bought her a fish, I accidentally killed it, if you ask her why the fish died, she says Papa did it. She showed me a bruise she got on her leg one weekend when we didn't see her and said Papa did it. She is a baby. No big deal. But my daughter in law didn't ask her how papa hurt her or to show her what papa supposedly did to her, they didn't take her to the doctor, they didn't report it to cps. They used that against me to try to end my marriage because they don't like my husband. That was 6 months ago, they only let me see her once a week. Now someone called cps on them and they are blaming me and refusing to let me see her at all. My son told me 6 months ago it was due to his wife's jealousy over mine and my grand daughters relationship. She doesn't want her daughter to love me more than she loves her mother. What she doesn't know is she creating a situation for her daughter to resent her later for keeping her from me. I read the articles on here and I can't even imagine treating my parents this way and they were not as loving by a long shot as I have been to my grand daughter. I will pray for you all, you all pray for me.

Laureen - posted on 02/27/2014

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I have been raising my granddaughter since she was six months old her mom and dad have had many issues with the law and also with drugs my son is in federal prision right now due to his addiction my sons ex girl friend is pregnant by someone else and I don't think is doing drugs the whole five and a half years have been a battle constant threats of her being taken off of me my poor granddaughter being used as a pawn if her mom didn't get what she wanted even showed up to her fifth birthday high as a kite I never got the state involved because I have always been here to care for her and her other grandmother has taken her here and there I have been the one to care for her when she is sick I have been the one when she cries because she misses her daddy I have been the one to put her to bed every night . to love her to hold her to play hide and seek to have family day on sundays to watch scary movies together AND now she text me yesterday im changing her school to my moms house I don't think she is going to be safe there because of your son My son gets out of jail is 3 months he has strict rules or he goes back and he is a great dad and I know he has to prove himself but she is always under my care and this is coming from someone who stumbled into my granddaughter open house when it was all most over so high she couldn't walk and all the parents knew it and that was just in September .now I want whats best for my granddaughter I want her mom in her life I want her mommy to stay clean I have been there I am almost 6 years clean I know she loves her mommy but god she doesn't have a clean slate her record is longer then my arm I just want her to give her dad a chance and I would never do anything that would jeapodize my little girl I just don't think after all this that I should be constantly threatened by her she has done it to me all these years and it has caused me so much stress and anxiety and my granddaughter can since everything feeling and thought I have I don't want her to have that heavy weight on her I can see it in her little face worried that she is going to be taken out of her home any advice please im going out of my mine I cant even sleep

Traci - posted on 02/17/2014

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I'm in the same place along with all of you here. My grand-daughter, son & Baby mother. has bee living in our home from the day my grand-daughter was born in 2012. My grand-daughter will be 2 this march. Her mother left, with my grand-daughter on 01/09/2014 on a Thursday. Baby mother told us she was going to her mother's house for the weekend. That Friday, I needed to talk to baby mother, So I text baby mother,

Gael - posted on 01/21/2014

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And sadly where I live, they had in place grandparents rights, then it went to a higher court and they reversed our rights , so now I have no rights. I hope to out live this mess until the girls are adults...then they can either see me by choice or not. As long as they just give me a chance...praying for that daily.

Gael - posted on 01/17/2014

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Sadly in my state there are no grandparents rights..they were repealed, that is simply WRONG.

Gael - posted on 01/17/2014

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Interesting, I am also a nurse. My heart felt prayers and sorrow go out to you. These acts of turning grandchildren away from us, using them as pawns..is terrible. I keep hearing "One day, she will regret that she did this"...highly doubtful, people that do this life for the moment..and if they have the experience of holding their child..they should realize that is exactly what we did for them, gave then unconditional love. After all these years, and I still cry everyday ..and have to divert my thoughts away...she knows I lost her brother, sent me an e mail, gee..no phone call to say Mom I am so sorry for your loss? But if an e mail is all she could do, it was better than silence. She had not even seen her brother for 20 yrs. I do know her daughters all four adore her, so I keep telling myself, that I am proud of that ...and I am, but wonder since their older now...do they think their mother turned out that way naturally or was brought up by the same motherly love their mother shows them? .. I am seriously thinking about contacting two of them on their missions, since I found out their addresses (I have even paid to keep track of them by a private detective) but if I do contact them now that they are both living away from home..but fearful I will upset them...which I never want to hurt my granddaughters. My best to you!

Karen Lee - posted on 01/17/2014

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Yes, right below I have written my problem also. My son and his wife are not
living together. She actually walked out on my son and 4 granddaughters. The
first conversation with her was scary as she told me exactly what to expect. She
told me she would own my son, don't expect to see him as she would do all she
could to keep him away from me. I asked her why she was telling me all this anm
d
she said because I want you to know I mean all I say. I told her she needs to tell
my son and she said he will find out. This was my first time meeting her. I did tell
my son and he just played it down. I knew my son was lonesome and felt he was
vulnerable and sure enough all she said showed itself. She controlled all he did.
I have written the last part of this under Karen below. (continued). I feel we did
need to somehow discipline this woman and even more my son has allowed her
to berate most of our family and even friends. Yes, I am denied my grandkids
for the second time but there was only one then. GOD HELP US.


control hi

Karen Lee - posted on 01/15/2014

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Yes I know just how you feel. My son married a woman who
has abused me for 12 years now. They had 4 daughters, so
beautiful and I love them with all my heart. She was evil, so
many hateful games she played. She totally controlled my son
and would think of ways to hurt me, invite me to dinner and kick
me out of the house to be mean, my oldest Granddaughter came
crying to me begging me to stay. Over one month ago she pushed
me and I fell on my back and then kicked me, my son stood there,
They walked away and I struggled to get up as I have arthritis, Senior
and Disabled service stepped in and now I cant see my granddaughters
Karen

Cecile - posted on 01/14/2014

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this is terrible. I honestly did not know this went on so much. there needs to be some access rules put into place. i do not know where you live but where i live the access bill is stuck before a committee. can you imagine that

Cecile - posted on 01/14/2014

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yes i do. it is a very sad thing when loving grandparents not allowed to love their grandchildren. I have not seen two of mine for over two years. I cant imagine what the grandchildren must think.

Gael - posted on 01/02/2014

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Its been 15 yrs since I have seen my 4 granddaughters...I have no legal rights in my state. No grandparents rights...I can do nothing. I am sorry for your situation I feel it myself. Terrible thing to do to any grandparent....after so many years, and she being in a religious cult (in my opinion, rather well know church also) I have no chance..haven't given up...I'd knock on the door and as to talk to her, or invite her to lunch alone, see if she will talk to you. Last time I saw my little grandbaby she was in a grocery cart six inches from me, and I remained cautious not to say anything...just smiled at the baby...as my daughter scurried into the parking lot and disappeared quickly. Try to communicate with her any way you can..mine just tears up my letters and cards. I will never give up, one day those ladies will be adults, actually two are but serving missions in other countries. I can wait..

Hope - posted on 05/24/2013

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I truely believe that things happen for a reason, but when you are going thru it you just feel so helpless, you want to do whats best for the baaby but your scared that if you do they make take them away and you will never find them. Im going thru on with the mother of my grandson who is 10 months old. he has been in my home with us since day one. He has slept in my room for almost the whole time. I love him with alll my heart and I know he loves being with me and now for some reason she has decided to take him out of the house and keep him from me. It breaks my heart to wonder what hes going thru without being here. what can I do.

Missy - posted on 02/05/2013

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We have a 2yr old grandson.. Our sons baby. The mother of our grandbaby uses him as ammunition everytime she gets a chance.... She has told our son on numerous occasions that the baby wasnt his (when she got mad at him; which seemed to be all the time). We only saw him a couple times thru the years. After his first Bday we didnt see him for 9 months. Now he is here every weekend because his mother feels that she wants her friends and her guy friend and partying.. The baby is in her way.. We know nothing about him.. He throws fits like there no tomorrow until he gets comfortable being here.. I feel so bad that hes on this roller coaster and I just dont know what to do to make things easier for him..

Noodles - posted on 10/31/2012

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Jo Ann,

I am sorry to hear that your daughter is such a piece. You deserve every right to see your grandchildren, as they do not deserve to be kept from contact with their family. Your situation is disgusting. Those little girls should not be going through any of that. You sound like a wonderful grandmother, a great person, and it is unfortunate that you daughter found herself in a relationship with a teratoma. You must lose a lot of sleep at night worrying, especially knowing that you have done just about everything that you can do. My heart goes out to you, but more so to your grandchildren who are truly suffering at the hands of their mother. Children are so helpless and vulnerable; parents should not be allowed to rip them away from a family that is only wanting to love them. Angels will look over them though, and one day maybe your daughter will see the light to just what she is doing (and has done).



Everything happens for a reason. Bumpy.

Corinne - posted on 10/07/2012

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How are things going now Kim? Have you seen your daughter or grandson recently? It sounds like she has a lot of growing to do and needs to realise that, as the mother of this child, she has to be responsible and not run to you all the time. She needs to see that you are there to support her but not to be pushed around and basically, dumped on when she feels like it. It worries me that you are in ill health and yet your daughter, who you have helped so often, is not there to support you. Is there someone else in the family who could speak to her or is she likely to blow up over this? Is there someone who could help you? You sound like a very caring, devoted lady and it makes me sad to hear that you are being treated this way. I don't really have any advice, you just have to keep telling your daughter that you are not well enough to be doing this right now and she needs to figure it out for herself. Hope things get better soon, x

Ione - posted on 09/08/2012

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Rosemary I am so sorry....I know that the pain is UNBELIEAVBLE! My daughter & granddaughter live with us now, most days we get along. My big secret fear is if something happened to my daughter my ex son-in-law would take My granddaughter, never to be seen again. I am scrapbooking like mad so that my GD will have memories she will never forget! I will pray that the Lord will keep us ALL in his loving arms.

Rosemary - posted on 09/08/2012

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It freaking hurts i know my daughter keeps moving home and telling me that my grandaughter can live with me then after i gget her settled my daughter just picks up and leaves then later comes back for my grandaughter.. its driving me crazy and breaking my heart,My graNDAUGHTER WANTS TO LIVE WITH ME BUT MY DAUGHTER ONLY WANTS HER WHEN SHE IS GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF IT ...Im tempted to just stop helping my daughter but that means she will take my grandaughter away ,,she will leave then show up whenever she wants or needs something .she my daughter is an only child and yes she was kind of spoileed. i love my daughter but she is making me sick as hell ..someone told me to just let go and see what happens ,i did and she ened up comming back after 8 months and grandaughter was left where she was staying and i had to call the police to help her go get my grandaughter and now she ios doing it all over again humm..she knows she has all the power and there is nothing i can do but sit back and get walked all over sdo i can see y grandaughter????god knows when im going to see her again ...im so heart broken and sad and my daughter is a unfilling person who only cares about herself and what she can have ,,,,im i just stupid i dont know and i dont want her to keep pulling my grandaughter back and forth..anyone know how to deal with this kind of stuff

Ione - posted on 09/01/2012

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Oh the pain of this. My situation has taken a turn for the better for me....daughter divorced her husband who was behind alot of this but I have take on a life coach because I'm working full time and babysitting(yeah) 35 hrs a week...Obviously I'm tired trying to do it all. My new plan is to try to get really organized.

Barbara - posted on 09/01/2012

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I would like the url. i am trying to keep a box of cards and a log of thoughts for my Grandchild

Cecilia - posted on 08/12/2012

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I am having to deal with this nonsense like so many others. What is going on with these KIDS? I am so hurt by their actions, but I am hurting more for my grandchildren. There is such an incredible bond & so much love we have for each other. What could be going through their little minds? It is making me ill. I have done sooooo much for them. The second I say no to watching them, or doing for them thats it all they have to say is "Good F'nbye!" you will never see them again. I am so tempted to contact the Dr. Phil show. They are soooo wrong & beginning to think they are insane, God forgive me.

Corinne - posted on 07/11/2012

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Hi! I'm a D.I.L and I've been reading lots of M.I.L and Grandma threads over the last year, trying to get a handle on my own situation. Someone said that the more mature person has to take the high road for the sake of the kids, age does not equal maturity. My M.I.L questioned the paternity of my children, referred to them as 'whoopsies', called me dumb and uneducated for not wanting a degree and a whore for being a dancer (ballet). Just over a year ago she visited my home and completely ignored me. My husband phoned her to talk about it and ask her why and she said it was all my fault, I was mean and rude. I wasn't, my husband was there and knew I wasn't and told his mother so. She didn't like this and after a couple of months of stirring, told my husband she wanted nothing more to do with us. Now, she makes out that we keep the kids from her as punishment for some imagined slight and I'm frankly sick of it.
I agree with Lidia, if you are mean and nasty with the parents, they won't trust you with their children. Take a step back and remember how it was for you when your little ones came along. If your adult child has to stay with you for a while when they are pregnant or when they are in difficulties, don't expect them to stay forever. They are adults and want their own home with their own little family. They're not trying to push you out, they're trying to get back on their feet and have a good life. How is that meaness towards you? It isn't about you, it's about what is best for the child and that means a healthy, happy home with supportive and trustworthy adults; and Grannies to spoil them rotten occasionally. :)

Lidia - posted on 07/07/2012

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hey grannies, i think you need to know that if you had a bad relationship with your daughters in-law or son's you are almost doomed to suffer. You can't be mean and nasty to your future son/daughter and then expect her to give you her most precious! Grow up old ladies. I bet the reason you are being side lined is b/c you did something in the past!
Besides many of you below sound too desperate - get a life of your own and people will be once more drawn to you! No, just b/c you are related to blood it doesn't give you immediate rights!
It is like dating game if you sound desperate it is unlikely that you will fine a right man or that your children will want you around. As soon as you become cool you will find that people will naturally want to be surrounded by you.

Debbie - posted on 05/24/2012

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My son has a new daughter 12 weeks old, his first child. He told me before she was born that I would never have a relationship with her as long as I smoked. He lives in Fl and we live in Va. We had a chance to meet her when she was born but was told no. He is now visiting her parents that are 2 miles away. He has been to visit me 2 times now but hasn't brought the baby yet. It dosen"t matter to them if I shower and have clean clothes on the answer is still no. They are moving to Hawaii in a week. I have grieved over this for so long that I have come to terms now. I was caretaker for my other two grandchildren for 2 1/2 years and just recently my daughter has the chance to be a stay at home mommy. However, she only lives about a mile from me and I get to see the kids very often thank God.

I'm keeping a journel, taking picture of everything I send to the new baby and will hopefully be able to give it to her when she is older. The hurt never goes away but I've come to terms now. I found that I posted here a while back that I hope this never happens to me but here I am. You never know what your children are going to do in the future.

Alanna - posted on 05/19/2012

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Yes I am going through this right now. My son and his wife lived with us right up to the time our gardnchild was 6 months. She (mom) has been furious with me for something and now will never come over

Darla - posted on 05/08/2012

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I had my granddaughter who is now nine, taken away from me for three years. I had to learn to let go because I was not going to allow my son and his wife bully me by using my granddaughter. It was hard, especially since my sister who at the time lived five houses from me flaunted that she got to see my granddaughter by having her play out front where everyone could see her. Finally my son matured enough to realize that not only did he want me in his life he wanted me in his daughters life. I have to say that our relationship is based on love and respect. He knows he cannot use the kids as a pawn to get to me. They have now decided to move to New York, we live in California, and I am having good days and bad days about it. But in the meantime, I try to spend as much time with the grandkids as I can. The only advice I can say is to hang in there. Time will change things. Try to write letters to your grandchild and your daughter...keeping it light and letting the two know how much you love them and miss them...but don't allow her to bully you by using your grandchild as a pawn.

Kaye - posted on 02/09/2012

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i am in kind of the same boat. in australia grandparents do have rights and i am proceeding with visitation but the DIL refuses mediation. I am allowed to see the baby, as he is my sons child but am denied access or visitation to her other girls 6 and 9. I raised the 6 year old from 1 week to almost 3 and never failed to stay in touch with her mother and always kept her involved with everything i did. when i returned her home i had her for a sleepover 2 nights a week. now, because i disagreed with the mother over drug use and the lies that revolve around it i have been denied access. this little girl whom i love dearly had to be dragged screaming away from me and noone is telling her why. for me that itself is a form of child abuse. I am happy to never discuss my issues with or around the children. i never have or ever will, they (the children) dont understand past loving their parents and grandparents.....this is a pain i can never forgive, i pray to god to give me the strength to if nothing else carry on a normal life. i have 23 grandchildren and they are all as precious as little diamonds in our lives........

Sylvia - posted on 02/08/2012

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She will come around. My daughter makes treats to me all the time but didn,t act on them yet. But it still hurts.

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